hey, back with the chapter i promised you if i got 5 reviews thanks to: brittany08forever, hayleyf9, sobab, eliza, lizzy, sarah and IZZY :) thankyou all so much it means a lot that you reviewed.

A question i was asked:

brittany08forever: is Edward really dead?

awnser: NO! :) i love Edward too much to kill him off you'll find out how he is alive in this chapter! yay .lol.

disclamer: I do not own twilight... but do own some pills for OCD (obsesive Cullen disorder!)

Carslile's (pov)

"shh shh I'm here for you Bella" i hushed her.

"but its not fair please tell me he's not dead please" she begged me, the truth was Edward was not dead and it broke my heart that i had to lie for her and his sake. I had just changed Edward so we could move and leave Bella to Grieve i knew it sounded selfish and mean but Edward would surely hurt her so we would move back when all the people we once new were gone even though it would cause much heartbreak for Bella i couldn't just let him die when i could so easily help him. Me and Esme would treat him like a son our own son and maybe we could be a family, i would teach Edward our ways of life and how to control his vampire needs in life.

" Bella I'm sorry for your loss" i wanted to cry for her. But i needed to stay strong be there to help her through all the hurt and suffering i would cause for her and Edward. I felt horrible at that it's my fault she's upset but if i hadn't he would of actually died.

"oh God no please no why him why not me!" she sobbed onto my shoulder, right there right then i wanted to tell her he was ok not harmed in any way that he would stay alive forever. Yet i didn't for her sake.

Edward's (pov) omg yay!

Last thing i knew i was arguing with Bella when i was hit then rushed to where i was now. I was laying on a hospital bed with my eye's shut and agony flowing through my body. I wanted to scream let out all the pain but after Carslile yes Carslile bit me! He told me to stay calm and try to stay quiet because he was going to tell Bella i was dead for my own good, yes i really see how that's good! I wanted to scream no and tell him he was crazy and that he was...wait! Oh God he was a vampire but they only existed in story's, well at least that's what i thought. That's why he's telling Bella I'm dead, i won't hurt her and that's probably why he wants her to think I'm dead.

The pain grew stronger and stronger pircing through my body at amazing speed yet it felt like forever. Then i herd Bella scream right that's it vampire or no vampire i can't let her suffer like this! I went to leave my bed and tell her everything was ok, but i was stuck to my bed and i couldn't move i let out a quiet moan trying not to make too much noise the pain reached my fingertips like a roaring fire raging through my body stopping at no cost. My head hurt from all the thinking and pain, trying to think of something eles seemed imposible at this time.

I want to change what happend, i should have never bought that car and we would never of had that arguement and i could have been with my beloved.

The girl i loved taken from my arms and left to fend for herself. No longer able to touch her face, smell her hair in the morning, kiss her lips with so much meaning and love or talk to her. I think most of the agony i was feeling was that i would never be with her again it hurt me to think that the only thing in my life that was worth living for, was taken from me. God, trying to be so blas

Images of Bella swam around my head as I burned. Burning, endlessly burning. I was on fire and I couldn't move, my eyelids felt like blocks of cement. After what seemed like an eternity Carslile came to me, holding my hand between his icy ones, murmering to me. " Edward, Edward. God, I don't even know if you can hear me, I just need to tell you I'm sorry for doing this to you. Taking you from your life, your wife, everything. It was the only way I could save you, I'm so sorry, so sorry..." he trailed off murmering ' I'm so sorry' a few more times. All i wanted was to see Bella let her know i was sorry at least say bye! But i knew i couldn't. I did respect what Carslile for what he did for me i knew i would miss her more than anything in my life...but there's no going back now i guess.

My heartbeat grew faster and faster. I had no idea how much time i had left a day, an hour, a few seconds? The pain came further up my chest as my heart kept speeding up. This was it seconds and i was dead amongst the living no longer alive or save for Bella. By now Carslile was gone and i was in pain that was all i knew,nothing of Bella or how she was. Then i forgot about everthing else as the pain shot around my heart, pumping through it in blinding pain like no other thing i had felt. I wanted to cry out to ask for help... I wanted Bella she would make it go away say it was alright and that she loved me, at least i hope she does.

Bella's (pov)

He was gone dead taken from me. I mean i couldn't even see him that just made me hurt even more; not able to see Edward the only man i loved my husband for God sake! With tears streaming down my cheeks Carslile sat me down on a chair and got me some water to drink. "Why can't i see him?" i whispered,Carslile paused for a moment, what was that all about? my subconsious wondered don't be paranoid bella, you're reading too much into this, he's gone. the more rational side of my mind told me, wiping her face clumsily with her sleeve, I cried along with my subconsious.

" It will be harder for you that's why I've seen some people when their partners die they kill themselves, and i won't let that happen to you Bella" he put on a hopefull smile. But it didn't help much. I was too broken up to smile or think of any happy thoughts at this point. "Is there anyone who you'd like me to call for you, Bella?" Carslile asked, sitting beside me and taking my hand. I nodded mutely, took my cell from my pocket and scrolled down the list of contacts. He pryed the phone from my fingers and called the number with his free hand. I heard the whole thing.

"Hey Bella, what's up? Jazz...Jazz get off!" there was giggling on the line, Carslile waited. "I'm on the phone to Bella! Look, you can talk to her when I'm done!"

"Miss masen?" Carslile said, Alice's giggling cut off immediatly, " This is Carslile Cullen, I'm Cheif of medicine at the Seattle Grace hospital. Your brother, Mr Edward Anthony Masen, was rushed here after sustaining major injuries in a car accident. We did everything we could, but we couldn't save him, I am so sorry." I heard alice on the other side.

"Please, Dr Cullen, please. Tell me it isn't true, please!" she burst into tears and that's when I snapped. I had spent my whole life with the masen family and their foster kids, the hales. Emmett had been my big teddy bear of a brother, alice my little pixie of a sister, Rosalie my fiery role model older sister who taught me to fight and guarded me like a dragon, jasper the over-protective brother type who inspected every boyfriend at the door and comforted me when I was down, Edward was never my brother, but my best friend and my first crush, first kiss and first and only love. Edward snr. was my fathers best friend and my second father, Elizabeth was my mother, because I had none of my own. My father, charlie, I had taken care of him my whole life, I had always taken care of all of them and they had taken care of me in turn and I wasn't about to stop now.

"Alice, honey, it's ok, I'm here," I crooned down the phone when Carslile gave it to me,

"Oh, Bells. Is it true? He can't be dead, he can't be!" I shushed her, fresh tears welling up in my eyes. "You've got to come here, stay with us. Rose and Emmett will come and pick you up on their way, Dad is coming with Mom, They took the first flight up from vancouver." and that was alice. Her defence mechanism was to bring everyone together and to organise, I let her because I knew it was the only way she would cope.

"Ok, Ali, I love you. Tell jasper I love him, too, and I'll be there soon," I tried to stay calm, but the tears spilled over. Carslile took me to the cafeteria and bought me a coffee. The caffine numbed me and I sat, waiting, for my big brother to take me home. Emmett rushed in, with Rose on his heels. He pulled me into a bone crushing hug, Rose grabbed me and held on tight. The drive home was quiet.

Alice answered the door, and my protective instincts kicked into overdrive. She had tears streaking her face and she looked tiny and fragile, not the enthusiastic pixie I was used to. Rose and I moved in sync and enveloped alice in our arms, Leading her inside. Jasper looked like he was folding into himself, bent over a half empty bottle of whiskey, shaking with sobs. I went to him, and he looked up at me, blinking like a blind man seeing the sun for the first time. "oh, jazz," I put the bottle aside and took his hands, helping him to his feet. I led him to the hall where we met Emmett, they hugged. It wasn't a 'manly hug', the two tall, muscled men fell, sobbing into eachother's arms and then released eachother. I took Jasper to his room and lay him out on the bed, kissing his forehead as I left.

Alice lent me some pj's for tonight. I could have gone to the house, but I couldn't bring myself to do it, it was too painful. Ali, rose and I fell asleep in the great king size bed in the spare room that night, The tear-soaked pillows offering little comfort. My dreams were filled with edward.

flashback- bella's dream

"Hey, Edward," I said, grinning. I was thankful I hadn't needed braces, as if a thirteen year old needed more to feel uncomfortable about.

"Hey," he said, closing the fridge and tossing me a coke. I was staying for the weekend, as I did often. We talked and laughed for a while until I heard alice yelling for me from upstairs.

"see ya later," I said, rolling my eyes, he smirked at me so I pulled a face and stuck my tongue out at him. I stopped outside alice's chamber of horrors- I mean bedroom, took a deep breath and entered. Only to be tackled by a hyper pixie and a beautiful fifteen year old in spike heels. "I'ts just a date you guys, no big deal!" I cried, and rose put her hands on her hips, scowling, which effectivley shut me up. They put me in a white blouse with black buttons, a denim waist coat and a pair of skinny jeans, to my relief. They put on some simple make-up, with navy eyeshadow to match my waistcoat. They then pulled two braids of my hair around my head and tied them with a hairband, leaving the rest of my hair loose. Then rose gave me a pair of black, shiny shoes that had small heels on them, I could look cool without falling on my face.

I walked out without looking at the mirror, and down the stairs with ali and rose at my heels. Jasper did a double take, Emmett wolf whistled and Edward did a spit take with a mouthful of coke. I winked jokingly, and batted my eyelashes saying "hello, boys," they all swollowed loudly and I asked alice what I had done. "You really have no idea how hot you look, do you?" she replied, but my answer was cut off by the door bell. Mike newton, a general pain in the ass, but I didn't want to turn him down and hurt him anymore.

"hey bel- wow!" He said as we opened the door, my family scrutinised him for a while before hugging me and letting me go with mike. His brother drove us to the movie theatre, and told mike to call him when we were done, winking at his little brother. We were in the silence of the movie theatre, when mike did 'the move' and leaned in. He started sucking at my throat and he grabbed my ass in one hand and placed the other over my boob it was awful and it was going too far. I moaned his name quietly, hoping it sounded realistic enough, and he looked up, that's when I punched him. I socked him right in the jaw, then in the eye. I grabbed my purse and left mike in the movie. Jasper came to pick me up, and looked about ready to kill mike, but I assured him that I had given that asshole enough of a beating.

When we got home Edward was waiting, fuming on the porch. Jasper went inside and I went to sit beside him on the porch swing. I touched his hand, and there was some weird electric current that shot up my fingers and arm. He looked up at me, green eyes blazing. "Did he touch you, bella?" He asked, I nodded, and told him every detail. "that bastard, no one touches my girl like that, no one..." He stopped suddenly as we both realised what he had said. "Bella, I..." he said, pinching the bridge of his nose, "I really like you, more than any girl I've ever met, and I can't lie to you anymore. I didn't want to mess up our friendship, and if you don't feel the same I completely understand, and I hope we can forget all this and..." his voice faded away and he looked into my eyes again. I threw myself at him, kissing him with everything I had. He kissed me back after a moment, and he licked my bottom lip, asking for entrance that I gladly gave. His tongue battled with mine as our lips moved in sync. We broke off, gasping for breath, and I looked him in the eye.

"I love you, edward." I was going to say more, but my lips were suddenly far to busy for talking.

end of flashback

I woke up in a bed that wasn't mine, and the whole ordeal came flooding back. So did the tears.

meanwhile...

Edward's (pov) (only short sorry :( )

I woke up as my eye's flittered in the light. As my senses came back i realized that i was not in the hospital ward nor was i alone.

to be continued.....

mwahahahahaha! Ok i need 15 reviews ok thats all i want i know its alot but there you go! please thanks xxxxxxx luv you guys and you chloe (pen name: bodering on insanity brill storys check em out) love you the most xxxxxxxxxxxxxx