Ch. 2
I woke up and made Matt's pancakes. I got the batter together and began stirring it. Then I went to call Foggy.
"Hi, umm Foggy it's Karen.. Matt's over here-long story. Want to come over and have pancakes? I'm making chocolate and banana ones."
"Wait Matt's there? Sure... umm I can come on over that's fine." He said confused.
"Wait are you two dating now or something?" Foggy jests.
"No, we're not Foggy. Please don't joke about that. You know how I feel about Matt..." I say whispering on the phone. I hope and pray, Matt didn't hear this phone conversation. But knowing my dumb luck he does... My face turns red at the thought.
"Good Morning, Ms. Page," Matt says as he comes out of the shower. I look at him and see his scars, his bruises, and his strength. I suddenly see the importance of the work he does at night. I see the toll it takes on him. I see his fatigue.. I see him... as if for the first time. What's wrong with me?
I find myself becoming weak at the knees. Damn I know it's obvious...
"Are you okay Karen?" Asks the hearer of heart beats.
"No, I'm not. Can you finish making the pancakes? I'm not feeling well."
I say. Knowing it's a half truth but truthful enough not to cause alarm.
I feel flushed again. Knowing that he is the reason I feel faint, unable to do anything. I hate being so consumed with these feelings. And not being able to truly share them, is torture.
Then I hear a knock at the door. It's Foggy, he walks in as if everything is normal. As if I never walked out on him and Matt. I really don't deserve these amazing men in my life. Especially after killing Wesley.
"Karen, how are you? How have you been? Why were you in our lives and then not? Sorry that was way too many questions at once.. hold that thought. Let's enjoy pancakes!"
We sit down at my table and dig in. "Coffee? Tea?" I ask them both. Matt reaches for my hand. "Karen, you don't have to wait on us."
"You're my guests. So yes I do." I reassure him. Our hands are still together for a moment, and then he lets go. I was alive for a single moment.
I leave the room to make coffee. "Be right back." I tell them.
—
Matt's POV
"Matt, what's her deal?" Foggy asks me.
"Well Foggy... I came to visit her last night and I told her Fisk got out. And then she confessed to me that she killed James Wesley in self defense. She shot him seven times, Fog. She went through hell because of me. Because we all know who I am.."
"She went through all of that... without telling us. Jesus.. Matt!" Foggy said shocked.
"She seems distant still. Like she's hiding something from me. Her heart beat is all over the place." I tell Foggy.
"Dude, isn't it obvious she... you know finds you interesting."
"Me. No that's not possible." I say confused.
"Read my heart beat bro. You would know if I was lying to you about this."
I listen to his heart beat and know he is telling me the truth. She still likes me. I'm not sure how I feel about this. Surprised more than anything.
"Are you going to do anything about it?" Foggy asks.
"What do you mean?" I ask.
"Are you going to try to get with the Page?" Foggy asks calling her some nickname the way he does.
"I can't Foggy. You know what that would mean. Her life would be endanger, I can't ask her to do that for me."
"Matt, a beautiful woman is attracted to you and you're not going to do anything about it. That's stupid... insanely stupid." Says Foggy almost mocking me.
"Shut up Foggy. Karen's coming back in here soon."
"Well before she gets back in here, try to cut her off guard and read her body language or whatever voodoo your senses do," states Foggy.
"I can try," I said not sure how to even begin.
I head to the kitchen and find Karen, crying again. She has been crying a lot since I got here.
"Karen, what's wrong?" I ask.
"It's umm... this... email I just got."
She holds up her phone to my face and shows me. "Karen, can you read to me, I can't see remember?"
"Oh right."
Dear Ms. Page,
The Board of Trustees has voted and decided to promote you to Senior Editor for the Bulletin. You with therefore, begin this position after your two weeks paid vacation. Happy Birthday.
Director of the Bulletin,
Michael C. Wesley
"Oh my God...Karen. Is he related to James Wesley?"
"I don't know Matt. I don't..." she cries again. And I see the fear.
"Fisk knows and he's going to kill me. He's like big brother he sees, hears and knows it all before I even do. And that's why I kept my distance from you and Foggy. I can't do this anymore Matt. I just can't. I'm scared for you, for Foggy, for me, for you..."
"You mentioned me twice just now, Karen.."
—
Karen's POV
"I did?" I say feeling like an idiot.
"You did. Why do you care what happens to me anyways?" He asks. I know he knows, or suspects. I just can't bring myself to tell him yet.
There's that heart beat of mine again. Reminding me that Matt can see it with his senses.
I put my hair behind my ear. It's what I do when I'm feeling scared or flirty. I am a bit of both right now.
He puts his hand on my cheek. And rubs it with his thumb. I look at his face and see what I want to. The man I want to be with most in this world, but I know deep down this will only be the end of it all.
"Karen, can I kiss you now?" He asks me. As much as I want to say yes...
"No, not today Matt." I reply.
"Are you sure?" Matt asks. Now I know he's testing me and my heart beat.
"Positive..." I say trying to lie. Knowing in my gut that he will know I'm lying.
Without replying he kisses me on the lips, and I kiss him back. He smiles that half dimpled smile of his. And I let out a giggle like a giddy middle school girl. I feel embarrassed and relieved that the tension has died between us.
"Coffee?" I ask trying to change the subject.
"Sure, sounds great," smiles Matt as he heads back to the table to be with Foggy.
I'm still troubled though by that letter, and the last name of Wesley being attached to the bottom. Someone is on to me. And even though Matt may have kissed me, I can't enter into a relationship with anyone right now, knowing their life could be taken away from me.