A LONG Time Coming

by veiland

This is a character explanation. Chapter one covers Ranger up to Chapter 54. Steph comes later.

2. RMSA and BLT

A LONG Time Coming—RMSA version

I didn't actually plan to write one for Bobby, Les, and Tank. Didn't see the need, but I do now. Perhaps I'm being too subtle with poor Bobby, Les, and Tank and they're here at my house, hanging out with my Muse, feeling stung too.

Les threatened to drink all the OJ in my house unless I wrote one for them. Tank's hidden my keys. Bobby's sitting around in his boxers.

Bobby sitting around in his boxers? I'm weak. I wrote one but I decided to expand it to cover the entire RMSA trip.

I am going to attempt to explain events from each character's POV. Get comfortable. At over 27,000 words, this one will take a while but I decided that a full explanation, while not necessary, might help you understand what I'm up to. This is going to feel a lot like looking behind the wizard's curtain because everything I've written from Chapter 50 to this point has been building to the RMSA visit. A lot of this will sound like the Ranger version I wrote and I've also taken some of this from the Steph version (I know, I know, everyone's waiting breathlessly for that one!).

I planned the RMSA visit a long time ago (just like Miami) and I knew every theme I was going to hit there. So now I'm going to elaborate on them for you.

—oOo—

1. I would fire Ranger as a manager if I were consulting for RangeMan.

(waiting for everyone to recover from the shock of that statement).

Still with me? Great! OK, so let me start with canon. In canon, we learn that Ranger is a part-owner of RangeMan and the head of the Trenton branch. Now, JE has never elaborated on Ranger's partners and I doubt she ever will, but when I read 'part-owner', I think 'partnership'. That means Ranger answers to someone. He's not the owner. He doesn't have sole power. It's not his company alone but he's been doing the same thing as the rest of his XOs: Running Trenton like it's his own personal fiefdom.

At RangeMan Trenton, Ranger ran the branch as if it were his own little slice of power. He allowed the use of men, company resources, and time for someone who refused to get training in order to be an effective BEA. By effective, I mean able to defend herself and catch her skips without incident.

That's canon.

Steph was not a true RangeMan employee; at best, she was a contract worker and a 'special' employee. Ranger employed her and told her she had a job whenever she needed one and, within my fic, they had her on their insurance.

Wow. Nice gig if you can get it.

Now, all that has a cost. Her 'incidents' had a cost and, if I were consulting, I would tell him and his partners (whoever they are in canon) that Ranger needed to be under review. Otherwise, they needed to prepare for IRS scrutiny.

Point blank. End of story.

For the purposes of my story, I made BLT the other owners because I needed individuals who knew Steph and would be willing to hand the reins over to her without making her jump through hoops. No way would that happen in real life, but in fiction it works.

Ranger is a good manager when he actually stays still long enough to manage. Within canon, you see the men both like and fear Ranger, exactly the situation you want to have as a leader, so I transferred that over to my fic. Within the fic, the men apply there partially because of RBLT's reputations (the military men) and partially because it's one of the few companies that makes it clear they will hire ex-cons and ex-bangers.

Ranger's willingness to hire ex-cons is also canon (book one, when Joe mentions that RangeMan is a 'Jersey penal stop over).

Ranger is the kind of manager the employees like. He's the guy who isn't too good to get down in the trenches and do the same work the men do. He leads by example, staying active and in the field. During the break-ins, he worked double shifts with the men to keep the branch afloat.

However, Ranger is the kind of manager management hates because he hates paperwork, he hates being in an office and, essentially, he hates being confined. Again, that's canon. He was in the process of selling Atlanta and Boston in canon because he didn't want to be an indoor guy. Ranger's the guy who is in the wrong role, but there isn't a real role for him if he doesn't want to step up to the plate and manage.

He didn't give Steph any parameters, any guidelines for his help. He gave and gave and gave to her and, as the guys noted, if it had been Lula or Jeanne Ellen or anyone else, Ranger would have cut them off. They didn't do that to him. The company's state was the price of their silent acquiescence and their new position is that both Ranger and Steph will be under watch until BLT is assured that neither will abuse their positions ever again.

I'd made it clear that BLT had done some hard thinking about the state of the company and their role and responsibility and I was foreshadowing the pillowcase Ranger eventually got. However, everyone took Bobby's musings in chapter 98 as a crack on Steph instead of a hard, cold realization that BLT wasn't going to allow the company to be placed in a precarious position ever again.

Their way of handling it? Telling the person who continually handed Steph company resources that he had to stop. That's what makes Ranger a bad manager. In no other company would that be permissible. In no other company would that be OK. What they give each other might not have a price, but what he gives her from the company does.

A line item under entertainment? My knowledge of tax law isn't perfect, but what I do know is that just because you can claim it as a deduction, that doesn't mean you get it back 100%. Ranger might write off her 'incidents', but money, company money, is still expended on them and RangeMan doesn't get that back 100%. If Steph damages an Explorer, he can reduce his taxable income but RangeMan is still out a truck. The tax situation does not make up for the loss of the fleet vehicle. The loss is actually greater than the cost of the truck, since we know that all the fleet vehicles are given RangeMan protections. Armor cladding? Non-shred tires? None of that is cheap and they don't get that back either.

I checked the IRS publication dealing with deductions for entertainment. I don't see how Ranger could legally do it, so I'm betting he's absorbing the cost (If anyone out there knows their accounting and tax law, it's Publication 463.).

Is she responsible for his actions? No, but it's a little disingenuous of her to pretend that she really didn't know that what he did for her and her actions had a real cost. No one is that clueless. The property damage in the state capitol? The exploding cars? The constant rescues? JE's world exists to allow Steph not to get training. That's the long and short of it. Steph remained untrained so JE could continue her fiction of "They are basically good, nonjudgmental people who succeed at the end of the day, sometimes in spite of themselves."

No disagreement there, Janet. However (and this might just be me), I think the first time I (or any one of your faithful/less readers) got shot in the ass, we might ask the sexy men chasing us for some tips. A large part of my character review for Steph deals with Janet, but FYI: I'm a Janet-basher. When you think I'm being critical of Steph, you're really looking at my irritation with Janet. Sorry, but the books after 12, perhaps 13, just crapped.

But I digress. In the real world, Ranger would have been fired or forced out long ago and that's just if I put the canon interpretation of his role under review.

That's what BLT finally realized and they hit the correct person with it: Ranger, not Steph. Steph was not responsible for the misuse of company assets. They all were, but as the man actually handing them over, Ranger bore the greatest brunt of the blame and they got him for it.

That was the point behind Bobby's thoughts in 'Welcome to San Antonio'. That was me, in my role as a consultant, allowing BLT to say what had to be said: We're going to run this company like a business. No more ambiguity. Steph's patched it up, fixed the trouble spots and she's doing a damn good job. We won't allow anyone to fuck it up again trying to save her life. We got her trained (again, meeting our psyop goal) and she's running the company.

Ranger, you're under review. Your job as the manager is under review and we're taking this company back. Your turn. We're watching you.

—oOo—

2. BLT took responsibility, full responsibility, for the state of the company. They no longer blame Steph at all. Their pillowcase was NYC and that pillowcase held for them. They learned from it.

Everyone feels that they are unappreciative of Steph's work when they've made it clear that they are appreciative. They respect everything she's done. They were nervous about what she might find in San Antonio, a clear nod to her abilities and performance over eight months!

They've taken Steph's suggestions and opinions seriously, as evidenced by Miami. She called the sexism within the company a serious problem, the true underlying problem, not just Tony. They took her information and her opinion seriously and started a company-wide push against sexism. Name one other company you know doing anything similar. They've not questioned her decisions, treating her just like Ranger, and respected her opinions.

They respected the business opinions of a woman who, months ago, they were ready to kick to the curb. Now, her personal decisions? We'll get to that later but they did not question her business decisions until the 'embezzlement' charge and that's on them because they failed to read their documentation.

I think that's pretty good for nine months.

They were just stuck in a crappy position and trying to figure out how to make the point, same as Steph. They eventually made the point to the correct person: Ranger.

They pillowcased him.

In pillowcasing Ranger, they finally put the blame for the company where it needed to go: on the entire Core Team. Not Steph. They never intended to hit Steph with it and, in apologizing to her for blaming her for Trenton, they relieved her of the initial blame they'd placed on her.

They gave her an apology she never expected.

Now, what does that really mean? What it really means is that Ranger was told, by his best friends, his brothers, that when it came to RangeMan, he'd been a shit leader over the past four years.

(Take a moment to wince on that.)

Ranger had always been the leader. Ranger's job to lead, Les to think up the plan, Bobby to look for deficiencies, Tank to ensure they had men and supplies. Now his brothers were coming back to him and saying, 'You know, over the past eight months, with a real manager in charge and you out of the way, we see that when it comes to business matters, you need to get a grip. Figure out what your role in this company is. Figure out what Steph is to you, how you two plan to manage your relationship, and get a status because if she leaves this company, if we have to rescue her, we're going to bill her. If she stays, we want to give her your job.'

What went unsaid: You need to figure out if you work for this company or not and what your role is. If you can't or won't do your job, we'll hire someone to do it.

No matter how you put that, it hurts. That's why Ranger absorbed those blows silently. He knows that if Bobby, Lester, and Tank told him that, he has to take it seriously. He can't ignore it. BLT are not his sisters. He can't run from them. So Ranger would have a lot to think about during the six weeks between the end of his op and the beginning of his new op.

Thankfully, he'd already started considering some of it during his trip to Miami. He'd started thinking about doing less ops and moving the company forward, so it didn't hurt as much as it could have, but the truth remains: his brothers told him he had not been a great leader where their company was concerned.

Speaking as a consultant, the hard reality is that neither RBLT nor RangeMan was responsible for saving Steph's life. They are not responsible for fixing the personal demons that cause Steph to act the way she does. As Tank pointed out, they could have allowed her to sit on her ass, unemployed, with a broken leg. They had no responsibility to patch her up and employ her. My company does not assist me with getting counseling but we do have an Employee Assistance Program (EAP) that employees can call and get help finding resources to help them handle their personal lives if they need assistance. That's the extent of my company's involvement in my personal life.

Because of RangeMan brotherhood, the RangeMen tend to get more involved than that, but honestly, how many of you have an EAP at work? Check your HR benefits. You might have it but it's not that common. It's usually available in high-stress positions, but since it's usually an employer-paid benefit, it's not common. Otherwise, if you need help with your personal life, you're on your own. Hope your insurance covers that (seriously. Not being sarcastic there) or that you have an understanding boss and coworkers.

RangeMan brotherhood meant that RBLT took Steph's life seriously and personally, but honestly that wasn't their responsibility. Because Ranger loves her and they like her, they wanted to keep her alive, but they didn't extend that behavior to Lula and Tank loves Lula. Only Steph was the beneficiary of that special treatment and BLT told Ranger that it had to end. They did not give him a choice. They told him, point blank, that it was over. Steph would never come before the company ever again and they would no longer allow decisions about what was good for her to come first.

You can't cherry pick. When Mack needed help trying to find Leon's new corner, the brotherhood helped him, but on a volunteer basis. They can't bleed money fixing Mack's personal problems, but Mack also recognized that it wasn't RangeMan's responsibility to help him. That's why he asked for volunteers.

Again, is Steph responsible for Ranger's actions? No, but let's not pretend. No one is that clueless.

The guys are paying more attention, but right now their attention is split three ways. First, they have a new class of recruits to bring in and, no matter what, the men always come first. Second, they have a branch to run. Third, they have a company to review. That was the point of bringing Steph in to run things. They put someone they trusted (at least when it came to business matters) in charge of number three so they could do numbers one and two.

However, you can already see how they are making the shift to managing the company. They discussed moving Mark from an XO position to head up training and development. A new role, more responsibility, and it acknowledges the fact that while he drives them insane, his men are loyal, honest, hardworking, and he had the number one branch until recently. Tank and Les both acknowledge that their issues with him are personal and related to Ranger, but viewed independently, his performance since he joined the company has been excellent. Plus, whatever Steph's done has humbled him. He's had his ego pricked permanently.

Of course, they don't quite know what's going on with him and Steph yet. That will be interesting (quit peeking, Les!).

They also discussed making those weeks at the beach permanent and having retreats and discussions with the men. Tank intends to start moving around the company, as Les just did, and checking things out at the ground level himself. Bobby discussed how RangeWorld is changing his job and the need to regroup with the liaisons and discuss how their duties will change.

BLT are taking their company back and taking responsibility for how it runs but, as they said, what's the point of having a manager if you have to watch them like a hawk all the time? Not to say that they should ignore Steph and trust blindly. As trhodes9 says in many of her reviews, "Trust, but verify." That's where the guys are going now but they need time to transition into that. It also means that Steph's actions will be called into question and watched much more closely than she's ever known.

Is Steph the only person they could get to be the CO? No, she's not. They could ask any one of the XOs to step into the role (Tank tells me that Danny is their number one choice at the moment), or they could hire from the outside. Steph is not indispensable, as anyone in a large company with lots of managers will tell you. However, she has proven to be very good at the job and she's a known quantity. They would prefer to keep her, as long as she 'gets a grip.'

—oOo—

3. RMSA is why I told everyone to separate Steph's personal growth from what she did for the company.

I planned to show this disconnect once the entire group was back together again. Between BLT's silent, bitter musings, Ranger's euphoria at the op being over and being back with his Babe, Steph's complete confusion over what the hell was going on, and Hector's near disappearance, I intended Steph to have another melt down. It was time to truly address Steph, the true Steph.

This is something I'm sure many of you have seen time and time again: a person who is brilliant at work but whose personal demons keep them from moving forward. Commercial example? Mad Men. That show is all about the disconnect between Don Draper, brilliant ad man, and Dick Whitman, the bastard son of a whore, a man who was unwanted as a child. It's not the only example, but it's the best one on TV right now.

Steph's meltdown with Ella, five months in, was about making the changes necessary to save her life. She finally switched her mindset from doing things because she's forced to (Sarah) to doing things because she has to (keeping up her exercise regimen at the beach when Sarah wasn't around). That switch allowed her to start gaining the self-confidence necessary to stand up for herself and fight back against her Trenton tormentors.

In San Antonio, the disconnect between Steph's personal life and her performance as the CO showed. As the CO, Steph's trusted and admired. She's done brilliantly and it's been praised and noted by everyone, even Ranger. She's in control, in charge, and she loves it. She doesn't want to quit her job.

Where else could she go, right now, and get that level of support and encouragement? No one in the world has the responsibility to make you feel good about yourself, but being a RangeMan is all about supporting your brothers. Steph fell right into the company culture and, like a thirsty man in the desert, absorbed everything positive and wonderful about the brotherhood.

As the CO, Steph's surrounded by the support and encouragement she never had as a child or as a young adult and that support, that belief in her abilities, is what led her to be able to take charge of the company and do well. Support and encouragement means a lot to someone who's never really had it but, as I said in A LONG Time Coming—Ranger version, Steph only saw what she didn't get in San Antonio. She didn't see a lot of the issues that were explained in 106 and 110.

At RMSA, everything came to a head because BLT were not going to go over the top like every other branch had. They were not planning special parties and thinking of ice breakers. They had a new class of RangeMan recruits to bring in, twice the usual number, and they left her schedule open so she could spend time with her friends and, later, Ranger.

In this instance, BLT was acting in two roles: They were both her bosses and her subordinates. Her subordinates for the purposes of the review only but her bosses and friends in every other aspect.

I saw a lot of reviews that said, "Well, they told her she was Ranger for a year! It was her company to run! She could do what she wanted!" Well, yes, that's true, but until RMSA, Steph never ever forgot that BLT were her bosses. She always treated them as her bosses. She got to RMSA for the review and forgot and she got a nasty wake-up call.

Besides, as I just explained, even acting as Ranger for a year, Ranger is a partner. He's not the sole owner. He's not the last word. The LC makes decisions unanimously. Ranger has people he's accountable to: Bobby, Lester, and Tank. So yes, in some respects Steph acted just like Ranger at RMSA and that had a cost.

—oOo—

So why did she seem to lose it so quickly at RMSA? Because, aside from arriving at a branch where there weren't any problems, no one treated her arrival as if it were special. That was something of a shock to her. She had the bad luck of arriving at the same time as the new recruits and, right or wrong, BLT did have the recruits to put first. They had twice the usual number, so they were back to the 15-18 hour days they were working when they first moved out there.

BLT thought they'd done the right thing. They left her schedule open so she could spend time with her friends, knowing how important her friends are to her. When Ranger showed up, they were glad they had. Now Steph didn't have some packed schedule that would take her away from Ranger all the time.

Steph perceived that as ignoring her.

No one was treating her as if her review was special.

No one was trying to impress her.

RMSA didn't need her help. The branch was set up well. Everything looked good. The men were tight knit, BLT was doing a great job running the branch, and she couldn't find a single problem.

So what in the hell was she doing there? She felt she wasn't needed at RMSA and, right or wrong, that hurt.

Second, as Candy, Connie, and ML pointed out, what she perceived as cold unfriendly treatment was respect for her position and silence until being allowed to speak.

The clash of the military mindset and the civilian response.

The men treated her like they do senior leadership because she is senior leadership. They don't know her. They don't know how joking and teasing this woman would go over. Plus, they have Miami men in house and, because Tank is at RMSA, they have some of the worst of the bunch. You really think the Miami men didn't take that opportunity to whisper the worst things they knew about Steph to the RMSA men?

"She doesn't have a sense of humor."

"She called all of us sexist."

"She smiles in your face and insults you behind your back."

"She smiles in your face and insults you for complimenting her."

The other men from around the company are no longer there to counter those statements. The Miami men have been through Steph's review. The RMSA men are no fools, but they have conflicting information.

On one hand, Lula, Maria, Rafe and BLT are looking forward to Steph's visit and can't wait to see her. Unfortunately, they're looking forward to seeing her for personal reasons. They've never been through the review as a target. The Miami men just had her in house a month ago and they think she's a bitch. They've been the target of her reviews and they failed. No one knows what Steph does in these reviews but, given that Miami just went through it, they have a better idea than anyone else.

This is an example of Tank in his XO role. The other XOs didn't give him any information about what Steph does in her reviews and Tank didn't ask, wanting his branch to receive the same treatment the other branches got. Tank's read the reports from the other branches, but how she carries it out is still a mystery. So Tank and Bobby completed her pre-work, made sure all the information was available to her, Diego, and Mark, and prepared the men for her visit. The RMSA men treated Steph's visit like any other visit from senior management.

---

Side note: Back when I first started with my company, we had a senior VP visit our location. I was told this person was coming and I should be prepared to meet with them but I shrugged it off. I wasn't going to get hot over some senior exec. I had other things to do.

So the fateful day arrives and this person, who did not send us her schedule in advance, arrives and wants to meet when I'm scheduled to meet with a client 30 minutes later. So I arrive last, walk in and nod at the exec, take my seat, look her dead in the eyes and ask, "How long is this going to take? I'm scheduled to meet with a client in half an hour."

Shock around the room. No one, including the exec, could believe I'd said that but I meant it. The exec was not the important person to me. My client was.

The exec told me I could leave to meet with my client when I needed to leave and nothing more was said by her. None of my co-workers could believe it and my immediate boss later expressed shock that I'd been that bold. I needed to be deferential, he said, and not so aggressive. This was senior management and you don't say things like that to senior management.

Well, fast forward four years and this exec and I meet again. She remembers me, I remember her, and we go out to dinner one night. She tells me that no one had ever been that blunt to her face before and she thought it was hilarious.

She wasn't insulted at all!

She said that consultants who put the clients first are rare. Executives come and go (especially in my company), but if you don't take care of the client, you lose business. So she appreciated that I didn't allow her visit to derail me from seeing to our client's needs. As a result, I'll see her at the end of this month. Where?

San Francisco (BTW, anyone in the Bay Area? I'll be stuck here for the next four months!).

I've been transitioned into meeting with new clients because my absolute laser focus is on determining issues, examining needs, and determining how best to get the clients the support they need. In other words, I do my job and let my results speak for me. I'm not getting excited about some manager who might not be here next year. I'm not allowing management to derail me from doing my job.

I could not care less about a management visit to review our team performance. My performance will show in my metrics. If you want to meet with me, let me know. Otherwise, I'm out with our clients, making sure they're happy and satisfied because I need them to renew with us so that I have a job. Side note: we lost that contract but I got a better job in the company. I was one of three people in that office they kept.

Management? We change management like I change socks. I'm just not getting excited. I don't care how brilliant this person is supposed to be, my focus is on my job.

---

So I told that story to explain why I had RMSA respond to Steph the way they did. Steph's another manager and the RMSA men decided to split the odds. Show respect first, get respect back, and ease into a friendly relationship, exactly as they had with BLT.

Nothing wrong with that.

It's what should happen, but since that wasn't what happened at every other branch Steph did not perceive it for what it was.

Trenton? She's their little sister, their friend, and that's home base. She knows everyone.

Atlanta? Atlanta wanted to show her that down-home Southern friendliness and they were first. They wanted to set the standard.

NYC? Steph inspired them to flip a finger at the entire company and show RangeMan which branch was the top. They love her for believing in them.

Boston? They wanted to save Mark's ass with her, so they needed her to like them in order to save him.

Miami? Miami management couldn't wait to see her. The Miami men could not have cared less about seeing her because she is merely a woman.

RMSA? Not quite sure how to approach her, so they decided to show respect first, especially since they had high benevolent sexism scores. They wanted to show that they were taking their scores seriously.

Steph was accustomed to the 'let's be friends' response. Not getting it at RMSA was confusing and she couldn't understand why. For the RMSA men, Steph's visit is exciting because they'll get a chance to show her that they were trained well, they know how to do their jobs, and there are no problems in the branch.

That's what the review is about: proving to management that there aren't any problems in your branch.

Why didn't Diego and Mark have that problem? Because they're former military men. The 'respect first' response is completely normal and appropriate as far as they're concerned. In addition, Diego is the interim XO for Miami. The Miami guys know him and he knows them. That's why he was able to get accurate information. He knew how and who to ask. The RMSA men knew he was the front-runner to become their new XO so they want to have a good relationship with him. Mark? Mark's been in the company since the beginning. He also knows a lot of the Miami men. Same situation as Diego.

In short, the RMSA men treated her like they would treat Ranger, if Ranger showed up to do a review of RMSA.

Plus, as my personal example earlier showed, management comes and goes. Steph's on a one-year contract. Who told the RMSA men that Steph's situation might be permanent? They know she's important, but not that she might be here beyond one year. Check The New Boys Get a Clue. They know she's important and that they need to impress her, but other than that, their information about her is limited. Gossip has been shut down. The Miami men would have told them that she's on a one year contract, but otherwise?

She's just another senior executive.

The other XOs believe she's permanent, which is why they went to greater lengths to impress Steph, but as far as BLT is concerned, that shouldn't be necessary. Again, she's their friend. They've known each other for years. They are not about to entertain her. She brought ML, Candy and Connie!

Besides, she's there to do a review. They don't know how she conducts these reviews but they assume that, first and foremost, having access to everything she needs is important and they've made the entire branch available to her to do what she needs to.

Whatever else she needs, she simply has to ask.

Is BLT right? Not necessarily. As Hector pointed out, they knew that each branch had planned special activities for Steph and kept her entertained. They should have planned something, especially for the other ladies, to give them all a break.

However, as they responded, they kept her schedule open so she could spend time with her friends, who she brought with her on this trip, and help Lula with the wedding planning. If Steph and the other ladies wanted to go do something fun, they merely had to tell Lula and Lula would have organized it. Shopping, sight-seeing, all that stuff would have fallen on Lula to organize because those are her girls. If Steph needed meetings or wanted to do ride-alongs with the men she only had to tell them and they would have worked it around any of the plans Lula had made to entertain all her friends.

If partying with the men is her ice-breaker, she should have told them.

FYI, for everyone who didn't understand the embezzling charge: A definition:

It is important to make clear that embezzlement is not always a form of theft or an act of stealing, since those definitions specifically deal with taking something that does not belong to the perpetrator(s). Instead, embezzlement is, more generically, an act of deceitfully secreting assets by one or more persons that have been entrusted with such assets. The person(s) entrusted with such assets may or may not have an ownership stake in such assets.

So why am I discussing that here? Why did I even put that in the story? First, that's why Tank called her actions embezzlement. They perceived her as secreting funds and, even though it wasn't stealing, it was deceitful. However, the change in procedure had been noted and sent out for review. Again, on them for not reading their documentation, but I'd like to point out that multiple reviews talked CONSTANTLY about how perception IS reality. Of course, perception was reality when Steph was the person perceiving, but when BLT is the one perceiving, they're just wrong?

Cribbing from trhodes9 (I'm going to crib from her a few times and THANK YOU! For every review!): And every business owner/manager has to learn that perception is reality. True or not. It is the perceptions that count because they are what people act on. This is part of officer training in the military - never give the appearance of inappropriate behavior. What is PERCEIVED is what is believed.

Your perception can be wildly inaccurate, as demonstrated by BLT, but if you hold to that theory, then Steph's an embezzler. She was doing something with a funding stream in Boston and it had the appearance of impropriety. She should not have relied on an addendum, written by Ryan, to give BLT, especially Tank, the heads up. She should have told them, up front, that she was moving money around. That's just responsible management. So they perceived her as embezzling because she failed to truly give them a heads up that she was doing something special with a funding stream. She deceived them in an effort to save Mark's butt.

It shook their faith in her because, up until that moment, they'd never questioned Steph's actions.

Never.

BLT is doing the perceiving, so it's their truth. When Steph was doing the perceiving, of course she was right because that was her truth. See what I mean? It sounds hypocritical if you come back and say, 'No, Steph's right and BLT is wrong." Not within their reality. Within their reality, they're right.

An argument was made that because the Miami men didn't see RBLT treat women with respect, the men felt free to also disrespect women. Is their perception correct? It's their reality but is that the truth? Steph is perceived in the Burg as both incompetent and a slut for sleeping with both Ranger and Joe, even though she rarely slept with Ranger. That's the Burg's reality but is it the truth? Connie is perceived as a Mob princess even though she has little to do with her Family's activities. That's her reality but is it the truth? Angie Morelli and Helen Plum are seen as Burg mothers extraordinaire. That's the perception but is that the truth?

The RMSA trip saw Steph perceive many events inaccurately and incorrectly. That was her reality but was it correct? No, but think of how the RMSA review might have come out without other moderating voices around Steph to counter her perceptions. The RMSA men might have failed her review simply for treating her with respect!

The perception of a schizophrenic is his reality, but I rarely see anyone backing a schizophrenic. At the same time, a schizophrenic acts on his reality. Steph acted on hers. BLT acted on theirs.

RMSA exposed Steph's true personal demons. After months of being told she was the most important person, top dog, number one, yet again she was second best, not only to BLT but to Diego and to Lula (more on Lula later). Diego was the important man there because he might end up being their boss. The RMSA men wanted to impress her but, more importantly, they didn't want to offend her. The guys, BLT, just didn't do anything special for her trip because she brought her friends with her and they were busy.

—oOo—

4. So this is where I, as the author, get up on my soapbox for a moment: Not once did BLT tell Steph they intended to toss her out of the company. Not once did they express anything other than support and encouragement. I should know; I reread every chapter in anticipation of RMSA.

Never once did they give her a hint of their frustrations. But you knew because you had the global view.

Every bit of what Steph walked into was explained to her in excruciating detail in the early chapters. Nothing was hidden. She knew she'd have to get the training, no one forced her to stay in Ranger's apartment (Ranger asked her to, but she chose to move in), and the job and its duties was spelled out in detail. Nothing was hidden from her.

So as BLT asked, how was she manipulated? Even if they played on her feelings to get her to take the job (debatable), she knew. She knew Tank and Les were blowing smoke up her behind to pressure her to take the job. They gave her the clear scoop on what she was walking into and they were honest as to why they wanted her to take it. The only part they hid from her was their hope that seeing Ranger's life and how it operates would help her understand why her life was so important.

The psyop's goals?

'Being the CO of RangeMan while we bring up the San Antonio office would (a) guarantee that she stayed firmly under RangeMan protection, (b) force her to get the training she's needed for years without anyone demanding she do it, (c) give her a taste of being Ranger for a while, (d) allow her to oversee some of the projects we have going on in house (or will soon), (e) keep her out of the 'Burg gossip for a few months, and (f) ease the rest of RangeMan LLC into accepting Beautiful as a permanent eventual part of the Leadership Core Team'.

RMSA is an instance of ignoring history to favor yourself, which is why BLT refused to take it. She couldn't give them a clear understanding of where and how she'd been manipulated and, even taking the reason she gave them into consideration, she knew! She knew she was being manipulated at the time and now, eight months later, she's using that as her reason to blow up at them?

That's why they refused to accept her reason. It wasn't until she specified that they played on her feelings that they accepted her reason. They had to. They had but they'd given her as much information about what she was walking into as they could and told her they trusted her to do it.

That's like joining Weight Watchers, eating right, exercising, tracking points and meeting your goal then deciding that you don't like that Weight Watchers makes you track points! You knew you'd have to track points. They didn't hide that from you. It's not their fault that you've decided that you don't like that Weight Watchers made you truly look at what you were eating! So now that you've reaped all the benefits, it's Weight Watchers fault?

(Les demanded I continue his weight loss metaphor. I think he's trying to tell me something.)

Bobby told her to take the training seriously, Les gave her the scoop on every office, and Tank took her out for a night on the town to remind her to make time for her friends. This is why BLT had so little sympathy for her excuses in 107. You could even argue that ML was part of the plot to get her to accept the job and change her entire life because ML told her to make the changes and see if she liked them!

Steph took the job because it meant so much to RBLT, but to blame them for her unhappiness is unfair, especially after they spent half an hour praising her performance.

This is why I had ML explain that she hates when Steph says something is 'not her fault'. In this instance, Steph wanted to blame someone else for her frustration and anger when she forgot the lessons Tank, Ella, and Hal had all taught her: get away when it gets to be too much! Ranger always did!

Tank told her that the night before he left. Ella told her that as she brought Steph back from her weekend at the beach. Hal kept getting her out of the building. Hell, even Ranger popped up in Miami once under the assumption that she might be at a point of frustration.

The difference between her life before RangeMan and after is, before RangeMan, if she wanted to leave because she needed to get away, she simply left. She didn't have to tell anyone except maybe Connie and Connie wasn't her boss. As long as she didn't have any outstanding skips, she was free to go.

After RangeMan, there are people who have to be informed and processes that have to be followed. She can no longer come and go as she pleases and that was an unwelcome change. So instead of saying 'I need time away', she allowed RangeMan to run her life, which goes back to my point about Steph's communication skills when the issue is personal.

"It's not my fault that you didn't know I needed time away, even though I didn't tell anyone and no one knew I was frustrated with being in the building until I tried to go offline to the mall. You should have known. It's not my fault!"

Sounds hollow, doesn't it?

-oOo-

I've said it time and time again: What people think and what they say are not the same thing.

I have seen multiple people flay BLT alive for their thoughts and ignore their actions. That's exactly what happened here. Steph arrived in San Antonio full of righteous anger, ready to hit them for the state of the company and for what she perceived as manipulation. Well, they pulled her sails by admitting, with very good grace, that they were responsible for the state of the company. Seeking a win, she fixated on the psyop and the guys refused to take it without Steph acknowledging her history, which is why they didn't have any sympathy for her.

And honestly, I was a little surprised to see the number of people who focused on BLT's anger at that and didn't stop to consider: How would you react if told to go fuck yourself by someone you just spent half an hour praising? Regardless of gloves off or not? If you want to hand BLT their asses, fine but at least acknowledge that that was the wrong thing to say.

When was the last time you told your friends 'fuck you' and meant it in a hurtful way? That's usually the end of a friendship.

(And BLT wants you to know that the only reason they didn't kick her to the curb is because of Ranger. If she had not apologized, that would have been her last day with RangeMan. Sue if you want; the RangeMan lawyers would bury her. They're a private company, Steph would have been fired 'for cause', and they owed her nothing. At their most generous, they would have bought out her contract and been done.)

Anyway, the encounter was three on one because it was initially called to discuss the status of RMSA's review. The entire discussion got off track, mostly because Steph decided to bring up a personal grievance with all of them instead of discussing it with Tank, her supervisor. If she wanted to bring up a personal grievance, as ML said, that was the wrong place and time. Everyone was wrong in that encounter, but Steph kept ratcheting the level up until she got hit and couldn't take it.

Like Lula (and I hate to keep harping on Lula), RLBH was furious about Lula's actions at the Stop and Shop with the gun, but did they tell her any of what they were thinking? No. Like good friends, people who care, they simply did what had to be done. Bobby told her, point blank, that she had to stop when she first visited. He said nothing to her when she returned. He kept his mouth shut. Les and Ches Deuce forced her to spend time in the range and Ches Deuce dragged her to meet his brother, who made the situation personal.

Tank emotionally manipulated Lula. He threatened to withdraw his love and support from her. He had to eat his words when she took responsibility for her actions and made the choice to put her gun down and embrace her new life. He apologized. Steph manipulated her by scaring the shit out of her with the threat of Trenton PD without realizing the very real fear of the cops Lula had.

So Steph is allowed to manipulate Lula, without a full understanding of all her fears and what drives her behavior, but when BLT does it, they're wrong? Or shall we admit that Steph was wrong for what she said and did to Lula if BLT is wrong for what they said and did to Steph?

Makes the situation look a bit different, doesn't it?

I can almost hear someone right now saying, 'But that was different! Lula put Steph in danger all the time with her mouth and her gun!' True, but Steph put damn near everyone around her in danger with her lack of preparedness and her lack of any kind of training. As stated previously, Lula's deficiencies affected Steph. Steph's deficiencies affected everyone around her.

Lula didn't come back on Steph for her manipulation. She accepted she was wrong, apologized, and they were able to move on. Lula didn't scream at Steph or cuss her out, but that's exactly what Steph did to BLT. She treated her friends like crap for caring when Lula didn't do that to her.

Review what Lula said to Steph in chapter 108 with Steph's words to Lula in Chapter 74. Steph hit Lula exactly the same way BLT hit Steph, with a reminder of the facts. To paraphrase Steph, "Where, exactly, have I said something that wasn't a fact?" And that scene between Lula and Steph ended with Lula admitting her history with Trenton PD to Steph, which made Steph immediately sympathetic and understanding.

But Steph didn't give Lula or BLT the same courtesy. As Lula said, "You don't want a friend. You want someone to tell you you're always right." That would be false friendship at best, which is why ML was a true friend and hit Steph where it hurt but with love. Lula realized she wasn't going to get Steph there without damaging their friendship, so she passed her off to the person who could, being a true friend instead of trying to continue to work with Steph to hammer the point home.

My Lula will make a great social worker someday.

RBLT did not do that to Steph. Ranger expressed his frustration (with language she'd never heard him use), but he didn't back away. He ended that call reminding her that he loved her.

Hector was the only person to tell her that if she didn't get a grip, he would back away. Her partner, the man she's closest to besides Ranger, was the one to tell her he'd leave her high and dry because he lives for his son. Steph and her irresponsible choices will not come before Mijo for him.

That reminder, that there are other people that are affected by her choices, people who she sometimes cannot see, served as a cold splash of water on Steph. The simple reminder of little Hector Manuel in tears over his beloved Tío's death was the cold water she needed to get it until Drew Stefanic's death really drove the point home.

But I don't see any reviews slamming Hector, just BLT.

—oOo—

5. The confrontation had nothing to do with the psyop. It was about the fact that Steph had completely changed her life.

BLT got hit with this because they were the catalyst behind Steph changing her life. She was no longer independent. She was an employee, a high-powered executive with responsibilities and duties. Steph was no longer 'Steph the screwup' and there was no going back to that comfortable life where all her problems could be waved away with a simple 'It's not my fault!' It was a complete change from what she was accustomed to and she'd allowed RangeMan to run her life. Again, forgetting the lessons Tank, Ella and Hal had taught her about getting away to clear her head.

So let's take it back to Chapter 72: Standards, Part II

I've been the victim of a psyop.

It finally clicked during the weeks at the beach. The insistence that I move out of my apartment? Cutting me off from family and friends during my recovery? The job that I'm not qualified for? Staying on 7 for a year? The insistence that I get the training?

My only question is whose plan this is, Ranger's or Lester's? It smells of Lester. Ranger would never have done this and that's the only reason I'm not upset with him about it. I know the guys and they know me. I never would have done this without coercion. They did it to force me to get the training.

[. . . ]

Now I'm not sure whether or not to be furious or grateful. I'm heading toward grateful, mostly because by forcing me to do this now, Ranger and I can talk about a relationship the moment he gets back and our talk won't have to include a discussion on the physical aspects he'd want me to change. Instead, we can talk about his terrible communication skills and my inability to accept anything resembling an order. Still, it was sneaky but the guys helped me with exactly what I needed, as usual.

So at her clearance, she was aware they'd run a psyop on her and was grateful for it. She saw the benefits to herself and realized that it meant that this was no longer a discussion topic for her and Ranger. They could talk about bigger problems when they started talking about their relationship.

I can't remember the last time I was criticized or hurt as a RangeWoman. The 'brotherhood' is great. For the first time in my life, I feel like I know what I'm doing. I feel like the people around me value me.

She realized that pulling her out of the Burg and surrounding her with support had made a difference in her life. It had helped her start caring about her life, her self, and everyone around her. This was a high water mark for Steph because she looked back on the time she'd had thus far, the time she'd spent in charge, and realized that this had been good for her. She knew she wouldn't have done it without help and the guys helped her with just what she needed.

So where did that confrontation come from?

What happened was that the longer they were under lockdown procedures, the more desperate Steph was to get away. She didn't tell anyone though. She allowed herself to get wound up, just as she had a few months prior, and she blew.

Again, Steph's communication when the issue is personal. She didn't tell anyone she needed to get away. She just started taking risks, which got everyone upset, in a bid to get some freedom. That's what she'd always done before. Ranger had Hector remove the sensors on her apartment during the Abruzzi situation because Steph would rather take a chance than learn how to use the remote effectively. She stunned Hal in order to attend a wedding shower before they were certain the 'Junkman' was really dead.

Running off to the mall? Completely in character for Steph.

Now look at Steph's discussion with ML in Chapter 108. Very little of it had anything to do with the psyop that she was supposedly so angry about. It was all about the fact that Steph had changed her life and no one appreciated it. She felt her life was not her own anymore, property of RangeMan LLC, and she no longer had any control over her life.

Whose fault is that?

"It just seems as if no one . . . "

"No one what, Steph?"

"No one cares. No one gives a damn that I've changed my entire life to make a life with Ranger," she whispers.

I shake my head. "I do believe I said this months ago. You have to give to get. You will not get your way all the time in a relationship with anything, not even a mirror. God knows I know," I mutter and Steph gives a choked laugh.

"Ranger will have to give to have a life with you. Have you two discussed this?" She shakes her head mutely. "OK, so you're getting pissed with the wrong people. If you're mad you've changed your life, the person you have to talk that out with is Ranger. If you want to change aspects of your job, talk to . . . who's your boss?"

"Tank."

Yes, BLT asked for her to run the company and yes, they played on her feelings to get her to agree, but they didn't force her to do it. They didn't say "Work for us or die!" Once she began working for them and had the first breakdown, Ella told her to take charge of her life and her time. If she needed something, tell the men and they would make it happen. If she needed time away, say so.

Whose fault is it that she forgot the lesson?

Whose fault is it that she changed her life? As ML said, she's getting pissed with the wrong people. If she's mad that she's changed her life, that's a discussion for her and Ranger. If she's upset with aspects of her job, that's something she has to discuss with Tank.

I believe I said it before. Ranger: Ambiguous communication. Steph: LACK of communication.

Again, Mrs. CJ saw the real problem.

"Who is Stephanie Plum?"

I blink. "What?"

"Who are you, baby? I know who you are to Ric, to Lula, to my son. I know who you are to Bobby, Les and your friends. Who are you to you? Do you know?"

I mentally gape at her.

She smiles. "Sounds to me like you forgot who you are. Makes sense. You been living for everyone else for so long that you lost sight of you. That's why you feel so confused right now. I been there. I know."

She stands and puts her gardening tools back in her bucket.

"Once you figure out who you are to you, you'll be able to determine how you want your relationships with everyone else to go." She smiles. "Now, don't stay out here too long. Mosquitoes will eat you alive."

She pats my hands and walks back to her house.

Who am I to me?

Good question.

It wasn't the psyop. It was that Steph didn't know who she was anymore and instead of taking this incredibly wise piece of advice, Steph tried to pull her normal 'Not my fault!' routine on BLT, just as she would have months earlier.

She forgot that BLT is not everyone else in her life. She came at them this time, unlike the confrontation in her apartment. They got her back, no holds barred. RangeMan is a company that doesn't accept excuses from their men (see Bobby's 'discussion' with Thomas after Thomas failed medical in the Mack/Thomas One-Shot). So now here's Steph, sitting in front of them, trying to pass the buck?

Never gonna happen. They treated her like one of the men. They treated her like any other RangeMan, regardless of sex. They told her to get over herself, take responsibility for her actions and her past, and quit trying to blame them. You don't get hired at RangeMan unless you've put your past behind you in search of a brighter future (RMSA Men one-shot). So why on earth would they accept that from Steph?

'Steph the screwup' is gone, hopefully never to return. Who is she now and could she be this person without Ranger and RangeMan?

Chapter 53: Holidays on Ice, Part II

Grandma stood up and kissed the top of my head. "If you don't pull your head out of your ass, Stephie, you'll watch from heaven as that man spends his life with some other woman. [. . . ] Don't be like the rest of the women in this family, sacrificing yourself for someone else. Put yourself first. Make your life and your needs a priority. If he truly loves you, he'll respect you more for it."

They've been warning her for months. She's had the benefit of three older women (Edna, Ella, and Mrs. CJ) and her best friend to help her understand. She hasn't been listening but ML has finally helped it sink home.

—oOo—

6. An argument could be made that the psyop was a failure because it didn't take into account Steph's personal demons.

(author smiles) I disagree. First, that would require Les know more about Steph's personal demons than he did. Ranger knew, Les did not, and Ranger would never have shared those details of Steph's life with anyone. He knows how she feels about being talked about. As Bobby mused, they knew eighty percent of it, but they knew it as random, dispassionate facts.

Details make the difference.

Are the details of your life, the tiny things that make you you, something you want discussed as another piece of the town gossip? Hector finally got a clue only because Steph told him, but even he doesn't know enough. He was a part of the psyop and working Les's plan without a full understanding of Steph until just recently.

Also, I want to point out something here. Hector is making an effort to learn about his partner, her past and her relationships. What does Steph know about Hector? His past? His demons? Until Tank told her, Steph knew nothing about Tomas and that was Hector's one and only relationship!

One of the reasons RBLT is so tight is because those guys have no secrets from each other. They know each other's pasts and demons. The guys know about Tank's and Ranger's juvie stints and problems with women. They know Les and Bobby had the normal childhoods (privileged in Bobby's case) and pushy relatives or friends determined to ensure they succeeded (Ranger for Les, Mrs. Brown for Bobby, Ms. Lucille for Tank, Piman for Ranger).

To give you another example, Tank and Steph are the only people who know about Lula's full past with Trenton PD. That wasn't public knowledge and Les, Bobby, Ranger and Hector still don't know. That's something that was one of Lula's personal demons and drove a lot of her bad decisions, but is that something RBLH needs to know? No. They don't need to know that and they don't. They'll learn that only if Lula cares to share.

That's why Lula's talk with Jason Deuce went so well. One of Lula's greatest fears is the cops and being surrounded by cops. Jason Deuce was locked up for 106 days. Lula surrounded by cops for that long? That helped make the point for her.

But did RLBH know that when Les started planning what to do for Lula? No, he did not and he still does not, but their plan for Lula is working because Lula's been shown (a few times) that she will be surrounded by cops if she doesn't get a grip. Most importantly, Lula is taking responsibility for her actions. She knows that she needs to work on her issues so she doesn't cause Tank and RangeMan any problems. The RMSA men are her little brothers, Les and Bobby are treating her like a true sister and Tank's behind her 100%. Everyone's stepping up to make Lula a part of the team so she's stepping up to take it all seriously.

Example of how seriously Lula's taking it? She stunned a fake FBI agent! She didn't shoot, she didn't run, and she dragged his butt back to RangeMan! Success! Then, in chapter 110, she stood up to Texas Highway Patrol for her friends! Steph and ML were standing there at gunpoint and Lula didn't hesitate to come to her friends' aid, unlike the Stop and Shop incident. She didn't run. Hell, she farted in the cop's face and told him to put his gun away!

Second, BLT had one simple overriding goal: get Steph trained and give her a job for the next year. They accomplished both. Success in their terms, which is what makes them so incredibly smug. They reached their goal. As Tank correctly noted: Plum Curve went into effect.

The self-confidence Steph gained getting trained and running the company translated into an improved mental state, to the point that she started standing up to the people who have treated her like crap for years, like Trenton PD, Vinnie, and Joyce. Even her parents got a chance to hear what their daughter really thinks of her mother's praise. She's now self-aware and brave enough to ask for counseling. Extra success for them! No one can force you to go to counseling and if you have to be forced, it's nothing more than useless time looking at the walls avoiding questions.

I saw a remark about, if they guys are this bad with the company, how on earth did they succeed as soldiers? One, running a company is an entirely different skill set. Two, as Ranger noted in Chapter 53: Ranger? Ranger's life is great. Simple. Orders are clear, money is paid, job is done.

As a soldier, you get the orders, you carry them out. As Rangers, the guys got their orders and they carried them out. You see that in the way Les planned his interactions with the gang task force agents in the FBI. His orders were to start a campaign of confusion and break Damian and James White apart. Clear, simple instructions and Les went to work.

Planning a psyop that requires a complete change in behavior and a true psychological manipulation requires more skill than Les has. The military has an entire cadre of psychologists they can deploy to capture 'hearts and minds'. As I often tell people, I know enough to be very dangerous in my job. That's Les's position: he knows enough psychology to be very dangerous. He knew enough about Steph to accomplish their goal and he knows enough about ancient and modern warfare techniques to adapt that training to their current goal.

-oOo-

BLT's slice of humble pie was in finally learning the extent of the damage Steph's past has given her. As they pointed out, they would have gone about their plans in a different manner if they'd had the details they do now.

As Bobby's thoughts reveal, it's one thing to know something about someone's past. It's another to have those details fleshed out for you. Someone who has learned not to trust doesn't open up to people easily.

BLT did not have those details and, as Ranger noted (mentally) in Chapter 101, Les and Bobby are the least sympathetic because they didn't have childhoods that left scars. They are unable to empathize with Steph in that regard, although you would think that Bobby would be more sympathetic to Steph. They both have pushy moms but Bobby's mom pushed excellence in all things. Mrs. Plum pushed excellence in 'Burg-focused skills.

Also, Bobby has always pushed back against his mother's demands, which is why he can't understand why Steph is unable to. What he doesn't understand is that his mother's love has never been served up with a heaping dose of criticism. Mrs. Brown loves her son and whatever he chooses to do, once she's aware, she's behind him, pushing him to be the absolute best. She doesn't allow Bobby to skate on anything.

'Do or do not. There is no try.' Bobby's motto comes directly from his family and their belief in his abilities.

That's the difference in their upbringings and why Bobby and Steph are the people with the most distant relationship among the five. That's why it was Bobby who held out on this plan for the longest, Bobby who was the hardest to convince, Bobby who told Ranger that he had concerns about whether or not Steph would actually come through. Bobby's patched Steph up so many times, and heard so many 'it's not my fault!' stories, that he has limited patience for Steph's excuses.

Tank sees Steph as another little sister who needs some guidance. Les sees another person to have fun with, even more than Ranger. Steph's ability to be sneaky and crafty calls out to Les's sense of fun and play. They find it easier to have a point in common with Steph.

Bobby? Bobby loves Steph for her ability, like him, to look past a person's outward appearance to the person inside, but as someone who grew up with a strong family background and a bunch of people behind him pushing him, what Bobby cannot accept is Steph's inability to take responsibility for her actions. That's what he slammed Lula and Chenae for, which is why it was perfectly in character for him to slam Steph.

It's what Bobby would do.

Hector's one-shot:

Les: "She sees Bobby as the man who wipes her tears and makes her feel better. She would be shocked if Bobby started putting her through the same grueling routine he put you through."

Hector: True. Bobby has no patience for whining and excuses. He'd completely break her, emotionally.

As Bobby mused in his one shot: My decisions, my choices in life. Some good, some bad, but no one is telling me what to do. Or, more correctly, I listen to the counsel of others but I choose my own path. I resist the pressure to follow my parents' plans.

Isn't that Steph, in a nutshell? So they both have the same sense of autonomy, of wanting to do things their way, but when Bobby screws up, he apologizes. He takes note of the failure, resolves to do better, and learns from it. He was the first to apologize to Javier for the NYC situation. Not Tank. Not Les. Not Ranger.

Bobby.

Who was the first person to pull Steph to the side and speak to her after ML filled in the picture in Chapter 110?

Bobby.

Bobby might have been the one to slam her the hardest in that confrontation, but he was also the first person to take note of his mistake and apologize. Did he have to? No. He could have pulled Steph into his office, given her that assessment and allowed her to go to Houston without saying a word, but he apologized first. Was it the apology Steph wanted? Nope but she got an apology from Bobby, which says a lot for him.

Steph? Quote from Three to Get Deadly: "I make lots of mistakes. I try hard not to make the same mistake more than three or four times."

So can you see where Bobby might have a problem with Steph here? You see where BLT might have a slight problem with Steph? Make a mistake once? Learning experience. No one's perfect. Dust yourself off and try again. Make the same mistake twice? OK . . . Maybe you didn't learn the first time.

Three or four times?

In canon, Steph had a purse snatcher to pick up as an FTA (Book 18). She took her purse when she went to apprehend him. What happened? (take a guess). Guess how many times it happened. He stole her car three times!

This is what would drive BLT mad! You know he's a purse snatcher! Why take a purse?!

To everyone who says, "How many times are they gonna sit up on their perch and condemn her for not being perfect!? They're acting as if they never make mistakes!", others answer "No one says she has to be perfect! She just has to quit making the same mistakes over and over again! When she makes mistakes, acknowledge them instead of saying 'It's not my fault!'"

That's why I love and hate writing from Bobby's perspective. Bobby is the voice that says "At what age do you stop blaming Mommy and start taking responsibility for your own life?!" Yes, there will always be that nagging voice of criticism in Steph's head, but find a smarter way to flip a finger to the world!

Some of you are unsympathetic to that point of view, but for others it's a valid response. To give you another example (and show you how I mirror what I plan to do far in advance of actually doing it), let's examine Armando.

—oOo—

Armando is first introduced as something of a cypher. You can't tell if he's weak, stupid, or just a bad leader. Because he's not that (mentally) supportive of Steph and he appears to be allied with Mark, he went to the enemies column for many of you.

Then, when the Housekeepers' War starts, you see Mando a bit clearer. He appears to be manipulative. However, Ella soon changes her tune on Mando and realizes that his leadership style doesn't work for Miami. He's not as bad as he seems. He's just weak. He has problems being the hard-ass and you can see why: he has an annoying relative working at the branch.

So why won't he fire him?

Throughout the Housekeepers' War, the constant refrain was, 'Armando's a shit leader and Steph needs to fire him and Tony!' I laughed because I kept thinking, "Steph gets hurt, takes forever to catch skips, gets more publicity than any bounty hunter ever should, and just barely manages to stay afloat. Should Vinnie fire her? Miami is the #2 branch in the company! Miami might be shit, but it was a successful shit! Mando might be unable to control his asshole cousin, but thanks to Diego and Thomas, the three of them keep that branch afloat!"

So we get to the weeks at the beach and Diego is up first. He pleads with Les to get rid of Tony. Not Mando; I don't know about you, but if I have a bad boss and an opportunity to plead for someone to get rid of him, I would take the opportunity to get rid of both of them. Diego didn't. He advocates for Mando and pleads for the removal of Tony. Les even gives Diego an opening to complain about Mando and Diego refuses to take it. He answers honestly but he backs Mando. Les takes that under advisement.

Then Thomas gives Steph a better understanding of the issues in Miami and it's an earful. You get to see not only how Maria was manipulated, but you get more of a background on Mando and he starts looking like a man under siege. Finally, Mando himself shows and the indecision, stress and resigned fury is clear within him. He doesn't know how to resolve this and he needs help, but who can he turn to?

Now let's look at Mando's family background. Steph's had a critical (some say abusive) mother. Mando's mother was verbally and emotionally abusive all his life and physically abusive when he was a child. His support? His father. All his siblings could do no wrong and he was constantly compared to his 'perfect' cousin. Steph had Val. Mando had all his siblings and his cousin. He went from that environment to college, then the military, then refused to buy a home near his family because of it.

The love of his life is his only emotional support after the loss of his father, but it was her versus the entire family. Mando escaped into his work to avoid it, but the introduction of the 'perfect' cousin into his workplace meant he didn't get any peace at work. The introduction of his mother and his youngest sister into his home meant he never got any peace there either. Everywhere Mando turned, he was beaten down and bullied and he was bullied all his life.

Sound familiar? Anyone surprised that Mando hasn't hung himself or been admitted to the mental hospital yet?

Ranger knows this, which is why he's frustrated with Mando (Chapter 15) but unwilling to remove him from his position. Ranger knew Mando in the military, knew the man had a core strength and a backbone in there somewhere, but he's been beaten down. Mando makes good decisions, grew Miami well as the XO, but he had a personal problem affecting business and was unable (or unwilling) to resolve it. It would have meant subjecting his family, his wife and daughters, to hell.

Mando would need to regain his backbone on his own, hopefully before Ranger got too fed up and removed him from his position. However, Mando's saving grace came in the form of Steph, who listened, learned more about Mando's family from Lucia, and realized that the best thing she could do is exactly what BLT had done for her: remove Mando from the toxic environment and give him time to come to terms with his life and what he wanted to do. Maybe if he had some space from his family, he'd find his balls.

Ranger can't help him there. No one can help Mando except Mando. But I saw a lot of comments about how Ranger should have done something. It was his responsibility to do something.

No, it's not.

For the same reason Ranger refused to manipulate Steph into accepting training, either to save her own life or to give her hope of being in a relationship with him, Ranger refused to manipulate Armando. Slippery slope. It's not Ranger's job to shore up this man's self-esteem. That's why it's called self-esteem. If Mando won't fire a trouble-making subordinate, he's just made his job more difficult and opened himself up to being fired. If he can't get his mother out of his home, who is Ranger to tell him what to do in his home?

Having been bossed around and manipulated by his sisters all his life, Ranger is sensitive to manipulation. He's very careful not to. Happily, Les will!

The most Ranger could have done was put Mando on probation or demoted him, but until a few months before Steph arrived, the branch wasn't really having problems. What was Ranger going to demote Mando over? Rafe and Thomas explained that Ranger wasn't really around enough to see the problems with Maria because he was either in Trenton or overseas. Maria never complained or filed a grievance and Ella dinged her on her annual review but didn't say or do anything else.

That's why, in Liaisons Week at the Beach, Part II Thomas said that Miami Core can finally say Ella's name without rolling their eyes. Ella finally did something to help. Maria reports to her, she sees and knows problems exist, she writes Maria up for failure to adhere to dietary guidelines on her annual review, but she did nothing until Ranger asked her to.

Good management there, Ella.

Mando, Diego and Thomas intervened to change the way the men treated Maria because they felt it was wrong. Maria didn't even see where the men were taking advantage of her! So the men who received the most scorn are the ones trying to fix the problem that no one else seems to give a damn about and they're fixing it why? Because they care and they have respect for Maria, even if no one else does, including Maria!

Should they have tried earlier? Yes. Should they have prevented this problem from occurring? Yes, but hindsight is 20-20. Everyone's a Monday morning quarterback. What matters is that they were willing and they tried to change the behavior without anyone in management prompting them to do it. But because they failed, they were sneered at and criticized for how they handled it.

BTW, just wanted to take a moment to point out that Ella isn't on probation or any kind of disciplinary action for her failure to discipline Maria over her failure to adhere to guidelines. Only Mando was blamed for it. Ella is Maria's boss, not Mando. Why doesn't Ella share in the disciplinary procedures?

Anyway, reasons to fire Mando. Well, the men straightened up when Ranger was there so that's not actionable. What else? At most, they were seeing a steady trickle from the bodyguard department, but the department was, for the most part, holding steady. They were losing contracts, and losing bids more often, but they were still seen as one of the top bodyguard firms in the city. The branch was still number two. This is not a problem to remove an XO over. This is a moment to see what your XO is made of.

But how was this issue resolved? A: because Ranger was finally around long enough to recognize that Maria's treatment was wrong and took action (and didn't even bother to tell Mando!); and B: because Steph acted just like BLT did with her. She saw a problem and stuck her nose in. She manipulated Mando into going to Charlotte. What did she tell him?

"The Charlotte branch is new. The only men there are new or Atlanta so you don't have a stigma. I want to see you surrounded by men who won't give you an ulcer. Plus, that branch is at the point where it needs a strong leader in charge to make some decisions. You are the second longest serving XO in the company and I think we both know I'm not moving the senior XO."

However, what had she just said previously?

"The information I have about you is all over the place. Some of it would make me think you're a good XO. Some of it would make me think you're a bad XO and the remainder makes me think you're a weak XO. Two-thirds of what I know about you isn't great, but you say it's a product of being in Miami."

—Chapter 67, Trojan Horse Redux

In other words, 'I'm sending you to Charlotte. Otherwise, I'm going to fire you." Well, there's a choice. So in one breath she called him a weak XO and in the next breath she called him a strong leader? Which one? But at no point did she lie to him. She told him everything up front, made it clear, even if she didn't say it, that he was on probation, and he knew this wasn't optional. He had to go if he wanted to save his job.

Anyway, did Steph really know the extent of Mando's issues? No.

Did she know the full history? Did she know every detail? Nope, but she made a plan off what she knew, which was a third-hand assessment laced with family gossip. I mean, since she didn't have all the facts and a full, true understanding of all of Mando's issues and his character, she could have done some real damage to Mando with her scheme.

Smells of Les's and BLT's planning, right? At least Les made his plans off first-hand knowledge of Steph!

Now, was Mando aware that he was on probation? Yes, he knew very well that he was on probation and he was glad for it. He went to Charlotte and his strength, his wife Mariela, demanded he go to counseling for his issues. She knew that they couldn't go back to Miami until he was truly ready to flip his entire family a massive finger.

So, with her support and encouragement, he went to counseling and put in the work necessary to start regaining his strength. Two months later, when called on to finally deal with the main problem that had been plaguing him for years, he did. Decisively and without hesitation. Why? Because he'd been removed from the toxic environment, given plenty of support and encouragement, had a partner who believed in him, and was working on his own issues.

The same reasoning that you use for Steph (critical mother, not a lot of support, always second best, been running from the manipulation/bullying all her life), does that reasoning hold up for Armando? Do you accept it for Armando? Would you allow it for him?

Steph: It's not my fault!
Armando: I can't! My mamí and my tía would have my nuts!

Same excuse, isn't it? Shifting the blame for what happened (or didn't) to someone (or something) else.

He was manipulated by the two people he loves/loved the most, his wife and father, into accepting his mother into his home. Should he lash out at his deceased father for extracting a deathbed promise from him? Should he blame his pregnant wife for pleading with him to take his mother into his home? Or should he accept that it was, ultimately, a decision he made?

He was manipulated, pressured, and bullied by his entire family into hiring his asshole cousin. His strategist convinces him (to his later regret) to allow said asshole into management. Again, it was a decision he made. Who bears the blame for it?

His failure to deal with his family issues, issues only those close to Mando knew the truth about, had an effect on everyone around him. Not just Maria, although she's the best example. His failure affected RM-Miami as a whole. The brotherhood there was broken because they had an asshole they knew their XO couldn't get rid of. They lost men because of it. They lost contracts. They snickered about Mando's balls being owned by his mother and his aunt, but this wasn't some man who was a 'mama's boy'. Mando had a hypercritical, abusive woman living in his house and he couldn't see any real way of getting rid of her.

And what does his new boss do to him?

She manipulated him into uprooting his family, his wife and children, and moving 11 hours away just to keep his job. What did Steph really know about him? What about his social obligations, to his church and anything else he was involved in? What about Mariela's obligations? Did that not matter? It was 'Move or be fired'. Some choice, but he agreed because he saw a benefit to himself. It was a decision he made. Does that mean he has the right, later on, to come back and blame Steph?

I mirrored the same manipulative actions BLT used on Steph with Armando's storyline and everyone applauded. Everyone thought Steph had saved Armando. So if I have Armando come back and tell Steph to go fuck herself, no one will complain, right? Because just like BLT, Steph will have earned that, right?

I literally foreshadowed exactly what I intended to do to Steph with Mando and, until Armando's had ENOUGH and The War at Home, very very few of you had any patience or sympathy for Mando. I painted Mando and Steph nearly exactly the same yet you didn't have his family background.

You had to make a decision about him based on his actions.

And most of you were ready to airlock him, when you weren't calling for his demotion or termination.

Now ask yourself, honestly: Did you have any patience with Armando before you learned about his family history? Even now, do you really like his character? Or do you still, in the back of your mind, think he's weak?

-oOo-

Steph's not involved in some profession where her actions are contained. Steph was a bounty hunter. Her failure to do something, anything to counter the negative thoughts and self-image she had internally had a real cost and it manifested itself in many different ways.

Ignore RangeMan. What did the Trenton PD Chief of Police say? The state police commissioner wanted to strip her of her license to bounty hunt. She'd been involved in millions of dollars' worth of damage in the state capitol. Trenton PD had asked Morelli to arrest her (and Edna). Leave RangeMan out of it completely and you see that Steph's unwillingness to get help (and everyone's unwillingness to say anything, make her get help, or even broach her carelessness as a topic) meant she was left unchecked. If the state police commissioner had stripped her of her license, she would have thought it unfair ('Not my fault!').

And when asked to get training, she ignored the offers and requests. The only person who could legally make her get training was Vinnie and he didn't care as long as she brought in his FTAs. This is also another way JE's world ignores reality. The laws governing bounty hunters changed between 2007-2009. Training and education is now required but JE hasn't touched on that at all.

Is it because the madcap silliness of her stories, which requires a suspension of all sanity and belief, would have to be abandoned in favor of a Steph who was a little more competent? In favor of a Steph that didn't need to be rescued quite as much?

BLT is the voice of those who watch people do self-destructive things, try to help, get stung, and don't want to bother ever again. You can't force someone to change but, as anyone with a drug-addict for a friend or relative will tell you, there's nothing more painful than watching someone engage in self-destructive behavior and know that you can't do anything to stop them. Well, Steph's not a drug addict but she was engaged in self-destructive behavior. How do you help when Steph's issues are so well hidden?

Don't tell me Steph has a deep sense of insecurity and self-loathing without telling me how you go about helping her fix that. The classic answer is that you can't help someone until they ask for it. True. However, if you can stack the deck, like BLT did, and make getting help seem irresistible, why not try it?

The court system does it every day. It's called 'Rehab or Jail'.

Stating the obvious is easy. Fixing it? Less so. That's the part that stung Bobby, Les, and Tank. They helped Steph get the training she'd needed for years then got blamed when she resented it. I'm called a Steph basher because I came up with a plausible way of helping her get to the point that she realizes she needs help. I didn't just wish it away. I didn't ignore it. And I didn't pretend like it wasn't there. But unfortunately, getting there hurt.

As trhodes9 pointed out so beautifully in her review of Chapter 109 (I encourage you to read it), this is an example of the difference between the moral right and an ethical wrong. Morally, they were right. Ethically? Very gray.

I was open, in A Long Time Coming—Ranger, about the fact that this story was inspired by Adalind's Consequences. It's true and the 'consequences' in Adalind's story are what I want to avoid. That's what everyone wants to avoid with Steph.

Steph's parents have always cut her down and left her high and dry. The guys knew that, but only in the most basic way. Now they have a greater understanding of why she reacts the way she does. ML giving them a more nuanced understanding of Steph's background finally helped them start filling in the gaps.

Ranger understands. He's the one with siblings who try to run and manipulate his life. He understands Steph's feelings, which is why he doesn't try to tell her what to do. However, his unwillingness to tell her those basic things had a cost. As he noted in chapter 54, doing those things, saying those things would make him no better than Mrs. Plum and Joe Morelli. Telling her she had to change would be the same as telling her she wasn't good enough as she was.

He wasn't going to do it. He wasn't going to tell her she had to change. He wasn't going to tell her, "If you got training, maybe I would consider a relationship with you." How does that make him any different from BLT or Joe? 'Either you change or I can never have a relationship with you.' It's emotional manipulation, no matter how you put it. Even Steph noted it in Chapter 9:

And that was an ultimatum. It was! Either I have to change or we can't be and it isn't fair because I'm doing all the changing and you get to continue to do as you like. This is Joe all over again only instead of marriage and babies it's guns and treadmills.

ML's response when they talked?

"Steph, if you want a life with Ranger, you're going to have to make some changes. Ranger's concession is offering you the possibility of having a truly committed relationship with him. It's the one thing he's never been willing to even contemplate with you before because of the supposed danger and because of your on-again off-again relationship with Joe."

And

"He told you, point blank, that a life with him means constant danger and that you would have to accept things you don't like, like panic buttons and safe houses. He didn't say anything about exercise or diet, did he?"

"No. . . not really. Safe houses, panic buttons, loaded gun, no running from all the things I run from now. That's not specifying diet and exercise, but it's included in there."

"Well, you should wonder what it says about you that your first thought is that he's trying to cram diet and exercise down your throat and that wasn't even something he listed specifically. All his specific demands had to do with your safety, not your personal lifestyle preferences. So that wasn't fair. He didn't ask you to change. You decided to take the position and you knew what would come with it. A week ago you were willing to make the changes just to have the possibility of a relationship with him. You started thinking about the changes you wanted to ask him for."

This is why ML correctly noted that she had joined the confederacy of people who told Steph she wasn't good enough as she was and that she would have to change. ML, as a happily married woman, is the only person close enough to Steph to be able to say (paraphrasing here):

"Steph, you cannot get everything you want in a relationship. All relationships are give and take, so quit yelling about how you have to change your life. The only thing Ranger asked for was you to accept panic buttons, safe houses and that you would always be in danger. Everything else is a change you make, either because of the job or because you want to, but to blame someone else is unfair. You cannot expect to continue to do what you want without regard for someone else's feelings. Give to get.

Now what do you want out of your relationship with Ranger?"

Only Ranger has not asked her to change for him. He's been lucky enough to have everyone else, his best friends and hers, make his case for him. Everyone else has finally told Steph that she had to get a grip.

So, what options are left?

-oOo-

7. Never once did Bobby, Lester, and Tank give Steph anything other than their support and encouragement verbally until that fateful meeting in Chapter 107 when she told them to go fuck themselves.

After that, they slammed her. If you don't believe me, reread from Steph's return to Trenton from the beach and find a sentence, a moment, where they expressed any kind of frustration to or with her to her. I promise you, you will not find it. While Steph was doing Ranger's job, they stepped up to be her cheering section, even though they were far let her know, constantly, that they were proud of her.

And their thank you was to be told to go fuck themselves.

She had no clue of their frustrations until she and Tank talked in Chapter 100. They left her history alone until she started trying to pull her 'I didn't know/it's not my fault' routine on them. Bobby hit Steph for her attitude with her mistakes just as he did Lula with the gun and the Slayers and Chenae with her attitude and her social climbing. But Bobby got slammed for hitting Steph and praised for hitting Lula and Chenae, as if Lula and Chenae don't have feelings and insecurities.

BLTH even recognized that Lula and Steph were very similar but Lula deserved Bobby's words?

There were a lot of points I wanted to make in the similarities between Steph and Chenae and one of the biggest was their reluctance to accept responsibility for their actions. Steph had not apologized to a single person around her and she had not thanked any of the many people who took their time to help her get to where she is. She finally thanked BLT for their help and assistance, but look at what it took to get there.

It took a long time, seven months, for Chenae to truly accept Lula as her future sister-in-law. In the meantime, she lost her big brother's support (as evidenced by both his wallet and his willingness to talk to Chenae for a while) and she felt she lost his respect and love. To an extent, Chenae did. Tank was stunned (and stung) by Chenae's attitude and it manifested itself in a very protective stance to Lula against everyone.

The same attitude Ranger has toward Steph is the one Tank has to Lula. Even Ches Deuce mentally noted it.

That's what is driving a lot of Tank's behavior with Steph. In Tank's mind, his willingness to support Steph, even when she frustrated him, should be reciprocated by Ranger's willingness to support Lula, even though she angered him with the Slayers incident.

To his credit, Ranger immediately stepped up and did exactly that. He let Lula know that, although he'll never forget it, he's putting the Slayers thing behind him. Lula has a clean slate with him and he'll do his part by acknowledging her position as Tank's number one and by not leaving her out in the cold. Lula saw that was true in Louisiana and was happy with it. Ranger is not going to be an issue for her because they're both willing to do what's necessary for Tank to be happy. Tank comes first for both of them so they came to one accord with each other.

For his part, Tank opened up to Steph in chapter 100. He let her know he was proud of her and happy that she and Ranger were getting together. He let her know that she needed to take her safety seriously and be responsible. Steph doesn't have the learning curve Lula has here because Tank's always been there with Ranger in Steph's world. She and Tank have a relationship and now they have to work out how Ranger fits in that dynamic. Tank and Ranger can more easily relate to Steph, which is why Tank was able to bridge the gap to Steph, once Ranger showed him the parallel he needed to see.

In this instance, what we're seeing is the brotherhood opening up to include women. Not just within RangeMan, but within their personal lives, just as Tank told Les. They expected Lula to be the difficult one, with her penchant for shooting at everything and the way she runs her mouth constantly. Instead, Lula was the easy one. Away from Trenton and her normal sources of mayhem, Lula calmed down. She didn't have to prove anything to anyone. She has a new identity to embrace and a new family (the men of RMSA and the LaPierres) to make her feel welcome.

Steph is turning out to be the difficult person to bring in because she straddles both a personal and, now, professional line. I've reviewed the personal one ad nauseum. Best advice I once received about relationships was, "Remember, you don't marry a man. You marry a family." I never forgot that, which is why I'm single. Some of you, in your comments, have commented on the fact that you have/had the in-laws from hell. Well, same situation here. Steph has BLTH to contend with and, while many of you are saying 'Run!', if Steph runs that will prove to Ranger that she truly isn't willing to deal with his life.

He's known BLT for half his life and Hector for the past five. They are closer than family to him. They are his family and they've always had his back. They've come through for him over the past eight months, managing to accomplish what he never could: getting Steph trained and encouraging her to put her life first. They did it for selfish reasons, yes, but also because they wanted to see him happy with her. Ranger giving up his brothers? About as likely as Steph truly turning her back on her family, no matter how much they frustrate her, because she loves them.

Would he if forced? Yes, but talk about regret. He would give up his best friends and business partners for Steph but, if you love someone, would you really ask them to make that sacrifice? Would Ranger ask Steph to give up her family and friends? If she chooses to disengage from her family, it needs to be because being with her family is more pain than pleasure. If Ranger disengages from BLTH, it needs to be because his friends no longer have his back and enhance his life.

Now, what will Steph need from Ranger to be happy in a relationship with her? He doesn't know yet, but he's already making changes. He's made a sacrifice she isn't aware of but he's doing it for her. He's not taking any more long-term missions. Nothing over six months, preferably nothing over three months. Steph was prepared to ask for that only in the event that they had children, but Steph and her needs mean so much to Ranger that he's already prepared to give up that part of his life. No one asked him to, no one coerced him and, frankly, he shocked BLT when he told them, but he's ready.

He's ready to make some changes for her.

Is BLT a bit smug? Yeah. Was I done with them? No, but that's when my Muse decided she'd had enough of being bashed. I was planning BLT's payback and pooped out.

This is why I asked, repeatedly, that you separate their thoughts from their actions. Thoughts are rarely pretty but actions? That's why one of my favorite sayings is:

When someone loves you they don't have to say it. You can tell by the way they treat you.

—oOo—

Are the guys perfect? Hell no!

For Les, there will always be that fear that Steph's unwillingness to take responsibility for her actions (evidenced yet again in that meeting in Chapter 107) will lead to Ranger's death. It reminds me of a former employer whose son crashed car after car and they kept giving him cars (guilt from the divorce), even after he proved irresponsible. Only when the passenger in his car was killed and his politically powerful daddy couldn't make it all go away did he get the point (the jail time also helped).

That's Les's fear: how many times do we have to say this? Ranger's already been shot once trying to back her up (Lonnie Dodd)!

Now that Steph and Ranger are attempting to forge a relationship, Les's protective instincts are in full swing. Ranger having a romantic relationship with Steph is no longer this abstract concept to Les. It's a real thing and, because of Steph, Ranger is coming out of his shell and being open.

So far so good in Les's opinion. He sees where his cousin is trying with her. He's happy. He and Bobby have been concerned, for years, about the fact that Ranger and Tank kept mistresses rather than deal with women on a personal level. Now he sees that Ranger is prepared to truly put himself on the line for Steph emotionally. The last thing he wants is for this to go horribly wrong and Ranger shuts down permanently.

Les has been Ranger's less ethical protector for years (Tank is the ethical one). Tank did not lie about that. So Ranger will need to, and has started, putting Les in his place. Les will need to understand that he has to stay out of it and Tank was the one to point that out to him. What happens between Ranger and Steph is none of his business.

Ranger is taking a gamble on Steph and vice versa. If it doesn't work out, it will be because neither of them was the right person for the other. Les needs to have a relationship with both of them, just as he's forging one with Lula. Tank told him to be her friend again, give her a listening ear and helping hand and try to treat them equally. Ranger is not perfect and Les needs to be reminded of that.

Tank? I remember one reviewer who said she always had a feeling that when Tank spoke, something major was about to happen. She was absolutely right. Tank is the canary in a coal mine, the orange in The Godfather.

When he and Steph spoke in Chapter 109, Tank still didn't apologize, but he screwed Steph even further. He tightened Bobby's thumbscrews by making Steph feel guilty and reminding her that, without them, she would be unemployed, injured and struggling to pay medical bills. She already felt guilty about telling them to go fuck themselves. Tank added two tons more guilt by pointing out that they gave her a job without making her beg and he told her he didn't tell her that to make her feel indebted to them.

Well, what other response is there besides gratitude, embarrassment, and indebtedness? Hello, Guilt.

Steph's going to carry that for a while and that will curb her interest in attempting to tell them to go fuck themselves again. Tank did to Steph what he did to Chenae when he cut Chenae off. He still loves his little sister, but she's well aware that she's not really in his good graces right now. It'll take a while before Steph sees the same thing.

That's why the guys keep saying that Tank can perform a true mind-bender. Steph got a taste of it that night in Chapter 100. Hal is Tank's protege for a reason. He's learned some tricks and he got her. Tank? Tank showed her time and time again where Hal and the guys had screwed her then he cut her off from delivering payback in exchange for 'giving' her back her freedom. He gave her back something that he could never 'take'.

Steph's not ready to play in Tank's waters.

Tank told her about Les to keep Les off her back but also to scare her shitless. She needed to know and understand that threat. Even Tank is slightly afraid of Les's vengeful nature.

Tank got Les by telling him he needed to go get laid and get out of Ranger's business. More importantly, he forced Les to admit that Bobby is his #1. Not the cousin that he'd kill for. The RB who has been through hell with him. The man who understands him best. So just as Steph will be Ranger's #1, and there's no shame in that, Bobby is the most important person to Les right now. Les needs to step back and accept that. Ranger knows that he's not Tank's #1 anymore. Tank knows he's not Ranger's #1. They're in accord with each other. Bobby accepts it, although Steph's irresponsibility makes him nervous. Les? Les was reacting emotionally to the situation and Tank forced him to accept that.

Tank's failing? As Lula said, he responds to things emotionally without thinking sometimes and Tank does hold a grudge. That's why Tank rarely says anything. He's well aware of his faults and keeps his mouth shut in order to determine what's really going on. This is Tank's childhood rearing its head and that's the reason he has so much bitterness to everyone in Carencro outside his own family. His mother bore the brunt of the gossip for years but Tank saw the truth of the situation because he kept his mouth shut and watched.

Once Tank has a grudge, as we saw with Antoine, it's hard for him to admit he's wrong. With Steph? Thankfully no one brought up the embezzlement charge so that never needs to be mentioned but he recognized that he responded to that emotionally. That's tied up in his family issues and everyone drags some part of their childhood into their adult interactions. Whenever you interact with people, your childhood is right there on your shoulder, helping you interpret the situation, for right or wrong.

It's the reason that Tank is protective of Steph. She frustrates him because, in her personal life, she doesn't accept responsibility for her actions and she rarely takes a moment to truly examine all the implications of a situation but, like his mother, he watches. She's not always the one at fault and it's rarely her fault entirely but the gossip about her is vicious. He sees what Ranger sees in her and it helps him understand.

Bobby? Bobby's life is tied up in the company. It is his visible success but it is also his way of showing his mother that he cannot be manipulated. Bobby's life outside the company has not changed since he and Les met. Working out, partying, dating, and scheming. Bobby and Les are perfectly matched.

Bobby's biggest issue? He has an explosive temper. He holds everyone to the same standards he holds himself, which is high. He asks no more of anyone else than he expects of himself. When he's been disappointed or betrayed, he has problems holding onto his temper. Bobby will eviscerate someone verbally and he'll do it without hesitation. Lula, Chenae, Steph, Liam, Rodney, Thomas, and Ranger. Bobby knows how to hit verbally and hurt.

It's another reason Steph and Bobby can't spend a lot of time together. Steph's Italian way of screaming and flailing her arms wouldn't work with Bobby. Bobby cut Steph like a hot knife through butter and she's not accustomed to taking that kind of attack. Note the way Bobby communicates with RLTH. Direct and to the point. Only slightly hysterical in chapters six and ten. Calm and cool otherwise.

That's what made his confrontation with Steph in chapter 107 so devastating. It was calm, cool, and precise, a verbal 'exit interview'. She's never faced that kind of attack before, having dealt with Joe's screaming and her mother's whining. This is why Hector asked her to practice putting a blank face in place. She had to learn not to blow up in the face of an attack and she managed it in Miami and in the face of Tank, Les, and Bobby.

No screaming, no arm-waving. Steph took the blows and walked out, an improvement on her previous way of handling confrontations.

Collectively, the guys' biggest problem with Steph is the fact that no matter how gently she's told that she's wrong she doesn't accept it. Steph cannot take criticism well, not surprising given she has had a lifetime of it. That is why the 'pillowcase' holds such a profound meaning to her. Pillowcase is her new touch word for criticism, but for her it means constructive criticism.

That's how meaningful that event was to her. Hector didn't sugar coat his attack. He didn't hold her hand and detail his concerns to her gently. He just scared the shit out of her. He made it cold and personal then helped her deal with it. He gave her a standard from the beginning:

I like you but we are not friends. You are my partner. I have a rep and you will not put it in danger because my rep is what keeps me alive. It's how I protect my son and his mother from 800 miles away. You will not put my life in danger. Take this training seriously or I will make you.

Well, that pillowcase was him making her take it seriously.

She'd already proven she had no respect for him and their partnership. She took off to the mall without him. She refused to take the training seriously. Hector couldn't care less about whatever brilliant thing she did for the company. If she didn't get her act together, he'd end up dead trying to protect her and he wasn't having it. Mijo is his life.

He was doing his part. He sent her flowers to cheer her up. He made Sarah make the training fun for her. He was teaching her Spanish in advance of the trip to Miami, but she wasn't doing her part.

The difference between the criticism she's always gotten and Hector's pillowcase attack was the fact that Hector's attack wasn't a criticism of some vague, nebulous concept ("You need a man!" She has two men. Are you trying to say she needs to settle down? Get married? Try a new hairdo?). Hector's attack was specific.

He directly attacked her assertion that she didn't need training.

She was handcuffed and at the mercy of whoever walked into that apartment and he reminded her of that. That was a flashback to the infamous 'shower' moment with Joe and Ranger. Joe put her in danger and left her while Ranger rescued her and left her. He reminded her, in a single moment, of all the times she'd waited for a rescue while taunting her about the fact that her normal rescuers weren't there. No one was coming to save her this time and when Ram showed up, he refused.

Think about that for a moment. Steph's handcuffed, has to pee, and is expecting Ella and Ram to save her. They refused. RangeMan refused to save her. So if Joe and Ranger aren't around and RangeMan won't save her, what's left? Her family? There was no way for her family to get to her. So how does Steph save herself?

Hector put her in danger and with his help she rescued herself, but Hector didn't leave. He stayed to teach her more. Over the months they've had together, Hector showed her how to rescue herself, not just physically but emotionally. He set a standard with her and kept it up while romancing her and bringing her into his family. Hector, unwittingly, undid a lot of damage from her childhood and early adulthood, just as Les anticipated, simply because he didn't have the conflict of interest.

Hector's One Shot:

"She won't fight you. You love her but you won't accept her excuses because it's your life and your rep at stake." Damn right! Les grins. "Plus, you're gay. Zip sexual interest between you two, so there'll be a true friendship, a true partnership. Ranger will trust you with his woman and Stephanie will know that anything you say to her won't have a sexual tinge to it. You can truly act as her friend and mentor."

I consider his words and agree.

Stephanie Plum is now my partner. I hope she's ready.

I refuse to die. Even for her. She's going to have to live, for me.

Hector's main goal was making sure he could count on his partner. He trusted her from the beginning by revealing he knew English. That's one of his biggest secrets and one of her biggest concerns. Now she needed to deliver on what he needed from her, someone to have his back.

Steph can accept criticism from Hector because he was her partner first then her friend. The relationship between them is clear and it's not as clouded by a history of explaining embarrassing mistakes (her) and a concern for Ranger's life (BLT). She can accept criticism and truth from Hector because, as BLT often says, Hector is uncontrollable, just as Steph is. He's going to say what he wants and he trusts that Steph is mature enough to deal with it. She'll give him the silent treatment, or cry, but eventually she comes back and acknowledges he was right.

Hector's failing? He's overprotective with those he cares about, even Ranger. Tank called Hector correctly the day they met him. It amuses and frustrates Ranger but he accepts that in Hector. Look at Hector's actions during the Miami trip. Knowing that the op was meant to target him, the moment the news hit that Ranger might be stateside, Hector immediately went to Miami to pull attention onto himself, to give the networks something new to chatter about. Ranger tried to talk him out of it, but he insisted and it worked. Talk in Miami quickly switched to speculation about Hector's 'reappearance'.

He killed Mauricio to protect his son and gained an even more fearsome reputation. He barely wanted to allow Mijo to swim because he was scared he might get caught up in a wave! He's watching Manolo carefully, even though he knows he can't intervene in the training.

If Hector is going to throw himself into danger, he'll do it because he wants to, he's prepared to, and he's mentally accepted the consequences. Steph? He's been extremely protective of his partner, but with Steph it also means that she has to accept that she has to be responsible. He's not putting himself into danger simply because his partner is careless! He'll restrict Steph's movements and be the most rabid bodyguard she has before he allows that.

The only person Hector can't push? Nikki! She's the only person is Hector's life he defers to and he does so because she's Mommy. She's also long been the only person in his family who accepted him as he is. Nikki is the mother of his precious son and she calls the shots. In order to stay in Hector Manuel's life, he has to follow her lead. Thankfully, Nikki loves Hector and sees him as Mijo's father, so she allows him full access and decision making authority and they successfully co-parent.

At the moment, Hector is the most important person in Steph's life. He is the one she trusts most, even more than Ranger. Example? She's never questioned Hector's sincerity. She questioned Ranger's in Chapter 109 before deciding that she believes he's always been truthful with her. Hector is Steph's other ML, but closer. Yes, ML is going to be on Steph's shit list for a while. She can accept pillowcases from Hector but no one else.

That's a problem, when no one can say things to you because they know you don't take criticism well. It means that no one can help you. Consider what Tank told Diego and Mark in WE Run This Show: "Criticism may not be agreeable, but it is necessary. It fulfills the same function as pain in the human body. It calls attention to an unhealthy state of things." He invited Mark and Diego to criticize RMSA fully because he's not afraid to hear criticism if it can improve the branch or its functions.

Everyone else is able and prepared to take constructive criticism. Steph can only take it from Hector and, to a lesser extent, Ram. How will she take hurtful comments from Ranger, now that they are in a relationship? Before, his hurtful comments were easier to ignore, although she's never forgotten. Now? That'll be interesting, but when you're in a relationship with someone and can never be truthful, or you have to tiptoe around the truth, communication suffers.

Ranger and Steph can't afford any more communication lapses.

Chapter 41: Unbelievable, was a glimpse into how they would resolve conflicts without help. Steph barely pushed her points, making her main point the next day with who? Hector! Ranger held back on a lot of things he wanted to say. They both soft-balled that fight in the interest of not parting on a sour note.

That's what happened in Louisiana. No one could be truthful except Chenae, because she didn't care. She doesn't have a friendship with an emotionally fragile woman to maintain. Mrs. CJ was also able to reach Steph for the same reasons.

Considering that RBLT, and now H, are her bosses, not being able to take criticism from any of your friends means your friends are, for lack of better word, lying to you. Hector and ML (and Ram). That's it. Only they can be totally honest and blunt with her. Everyone else has to tip toe around it. Everyone else has to figure out how to say what they need to and want to say without damaging Steph's fragile ego.

Look at what happened to Candy after the Giovichinni showdown. Candy correctly called that entire situation ("Joe's sent you a message that he's met someone else instead of giving you time and space you don't need to make a decision in favor of him that you won't make.") and had to modify her bluntly truthful sentence with something more PC ("Joe is on the West Coast somewhere but instead of believing in you and giving you time to make a decision, he's decided to take this 'off time' to date other people and have fun because by the time he comes back he thinks Ranger will be back and it'll be back to status quo again?").

Better an honest enemy than a false friend.

Now that BLT has cut Ranger off from being Steph's protector in business discussions, Hector being her boss will be the mitigating influence that Ranger would have been. He's really the only option she has left but, again, Hector is a cold-eyed pragmatist. He loves his partner but he's honest about her. He gives credit where credit is due, protects her, and loves her, but he was the first to tell her to get a grip.

Ranger? Ranger's issues are detailed in his version of A LONG time coming.

—oOo—

8. Now, Steph's current frustrations? As she realized (finally!) in 108, those are on her because NO ONE knows what she needs to be happy. This is the point I've been trying to make. If you think about it, with every other major character (except Bobby), we know what it takes to make them happy.

Ranger? Quiet time with Steph. It doesn't matter what they're doing as long as he's with her. Sitting in her chair in her apartment, watching movies, sunbathing at his house, he doesn't care. Just quiet time with Steph.

And flan. Flan is a close second.

Tank? Fishing, Lula, and his family.

Hector? Mijo.

Les? Activity, especially if he gets to screw with other people (poor Javi!). A new RangeMan recruit class is heaven for him! All those impressionable minds! (Tank and Les's agreement says Les has to leave the men alone. The recruits aren't covered!). Les is also into sports and fitness, clubbing, flan and, well, Little Les has lots of party hats for a reason!

Bobby? I know I haven't covered it, but Bobby's a fitness fanatic and he does a lot of charity/volunteer work. I know I touched on it in one side story, but Bobby's volunteer work is important to him. Medical dramas, clubbing, sex, and keeping Les out of trouble also rank high for him.

Everyone knows shoes, meatball subs, donuts, cake, family dinners, and sugar for Steph, but 'time away from RangeMan and all RangeMen' is a new one and the most important. She needs to know she still has her independence and no one knew that. Not getting any praise? As BLT pointed out, Steph has to see it to believe it (best illustrated by wanting to see Tony before having him fired), so they were waiting until she made it to RMSA to give her the praise she'd earned, but they praised her when they saw her at her clearance and while she was at the beach.

-oOo—

Final problem?

9. The RMSA visit turned into a Lula-centered occasion.

Before I launch into my Lula discussion, let me just say that the way JE has written Lula over the course of the series has been offensive at best and racist at worst. Lula has gone from being a brave survivor of rape and torture to being a fried-chicken eating, spandex- and gold jewelry-wearing, Kool-Aid colored joke and punchline, the laugh track to Steph's straight man routine. I'm sorry, but that's offensive and I am offended. Very little about Lula over the course of the past fifteen books has been funny to me. There was no way in hell Lula was going to continue to play Sambo in my story. I took Lula's character all the way back to book one and restarted from there.

(off soapbox)

Not only was the RMSA visit not going the way Steph wanted but, for the first time in their relationship, the tables were turned. Lula was in charge and livin' large. ML and Connie were there to help Lula wedding plan. They went to Louisiana to meet Lula's future mother in law. Lula had a full schedule and things to do.

Lula was not there solely for Steph.

Yeah, I know, shocker, but that's what Steph was musing mentally in Chapter 110. Lula, the person who had always been there, Ethel to her Lucy, ready to ride, had really blossomed in San Antonio. Now that she was no longer Steph's sidekick, everyone had a chance to see who she was and they found they liked her. Les and Bobby like her, the RMSA men like her, even Ches Deuce likes her (especially now that she doesn't have a gun).

Lula is surrounded by love, warmth and family. Tank's family has adopted her and she and Mrs. CJ get along wonderfully. Her relationship with Tank's momma is healing Lula's wounds with her own family. The RMSA men treat her like their big sister, letting her in on the jokes, asking for her help, working with her. Maria is her partner in crime and her newest best friend. Maria's helping her get fit for the wedding and get the building, her home, straight. In return, Lula helps her with the grocery run and whatever projects Maria needs done. Les and Bobby? You've seen that they'll put her to work with projects and they hang out with her. She's finally developing a relationship of her own with them. With her relationship with Rosa Deuce, Lula's starting to make new friends closer to her new home.

Lula is trusted and relied on to do things and she never was in Trenton. The Trenton men treated her like a nuisance, at best, and to be treated like that hurts. When Lula first started getting to know the RMSA men, she avoided the Trenton men especially because she didn't think they liked her. They never did in Trenton, so why would she think their opinions had changed? However, the glaring favoritism toward Steph in Trenton doesn't exist in San Antonio. Tank runs that office, it's his home base, and Lula has all the rights of access Steph had in Trenton. Lula became the 'big sister' in San Antonio

As Steph thought, I'll probably always be Ms. Plum to that office.

Lula's life is on track and, as Steph mused, she's the only one of her friends, again, without a settled life. Now everyone around her is in love and in a happy relationship and she's the only person who isn't. Joe's not an option and Ranger?

How many more versions of this man is she going to meet? It knocked her off balance.

Between Lula and Ranger, Steph was unmoored. The two people she could count on to never change had changed and one had changed significantly. Tallulah Jackson wasn't 'Lula the ex-ho' in San Antonio. She was Lula, the future wife of Tank, college student and bride-to-be. Lula's identity was greater than her position as Steph's sidekick and her history as an ex-ho. Plus, as one reviewer pointed out, Lula was helping out in the office and she wasn't trained, but Steph did that for years. Even as an employee, Steph ducked the training. Lula? Lula's getting the wives training, but she was contemplating getting full training to be able to help out even more. Her choice. Her decision.

Lula wasn't waiting to know what they were going to do next. She had her own plans, her own schedule, and if Steph needed her, she could call her in her office.

That's what threw Steph about that conversation and she couldn't put her finger on it: Lula wasn't just sitting there waiting to know what they were going to do or trying to tempt Steph into blowing off the review to make a food run or to go shopping.

Lula told her 'Call me'.

WTH?

The discussion about the tracker? That was disturbing on a few levels. One, Lula had all the freedom to move and go where she wanted and she hadn't finished RangeMan wives training. She asked for a tracker and got all the freedom of movement that Steph has to negotiate. It was another sign of Lula's maturity and her love for Tank that she'd request it, not submit to it.

Two, Steph always assumed Lula shared her feelings about the tracking and the over-the-top surveillance. To hear Lula tell her, bluntly, that she put her man above her personal feelings was a shock. It left Steph wondering about Ranger. That's why she kept questioning Lula about it. To Steph, her autonomy and independence is important, but here was Lula, with the same autonomy and independence but Tank was aware of her likely movements. Tank could track her. Tank could find Lula if something happened.

WTH?

That's part of the reason why Steph brought up the tracker with Ranger. She wasn't sure what she wanted to accomplish in that discussion with him and Ranger couldn't figure it out either, which is why that discussion tanked. What Steph couldn't say, because it would feel like a defeat, was that she wanted to know when and why Ranger would watch her trackers.

Lula reminded Steph that Tank was a busy man. He wasn't likely to spend all day watching her trackers. Steph had had trackers before and knew the guys at the monitoring stations had always tracked her, but would they track her if she had a tracking chip? Before they tracked her because it was unusual circumstances. She had a stalker or a crazy after her. What would happen if Steph wore a tracker 24-7 like RBLTH?

What she forgot was that she was already living in that situation. Hector has six trackers on her now, all the time. There's a tracker in her phone! If she wanted to know how often she was being watched, she simply needed to ask Hector or Hal, as they are the only people who can see her trackers.

This new, independent Lula was a shock and that threw Steph. That's what began the melt-down: it was something else she hadn't been told. Another thing she wasn't prepared for and didn't really understand. Lula truly wasn't coming back to Trenton. She was in love and making a new life in San Antonio and it was a full, busy life. That's not to say that Lula wouldn't make time for Steph, but for the first time in their relationship, Steph was going to have to ask her to make time for her, just as she'd have to ask ML or Connie to make time for her. Lula didn't want to interrupt Steph's work on the review, but she also had her own schedule.

Again, a moment to show the lack of communication that defines Steph. Connie and ML were out with Lula, doing her registry and helping her plan her wedding. When Lula was in classes and Steph was doing the review, Lula coordinated with the RMSA men to ensure ML and Connie had bodyguards and transportation to go where they wanted and needed to go. That's what they meant when Steph wanted to do a runner. They were in a RangeMan vehicle and out with RangeMen at the mall. Running to join them wouldn't achieve the desired effect. Lula and Candy were in 'Lula's' office, so of course they talk. Only Steph wasn't talking to anyone and when Lula popped in to check on her, that might be the only time Steph talked to her or Lula got a hint about Steph's needs. Lula arranged for the RMSA men to check on Steph while she was in classes, but did Steph inform anyone that she might have other needs?

Communication is a two-way street. Lula had RMSA men checking on Steph, she popped in to check on Steph, everyone was checking on Steph but Steph wasn't telling anyone what she needed.

At a moment when Steph's life seemed so unsettled and confused, seeing Lula happy in her life and relationship hurt Steph. Not because she was unhappy for Lula but because she wondered if she really knew this person, just like Ranger.

As for no one saying anything to Steph about her attitude, I know it doesn't seem fair or right, but again I called on personal experience (and lots of internet sleuthing) to write the trip to Louisiana. I've found that personality changes, especially around weddings, are pretty common.

All of a sudden, best friends turn into enemies, women who were happy for you suddenly couldn't care less or don't have time, and friendships are ruined. I wondered if it was just me, but you would not believe the number of articles written on correct bride-bridesmaid behavior. Seriously? It's so common you need books to address it? I never knew and, all of a sudden, the behavior I experienced in the last wedding I participated in made so much sense.

A sorority sister of mine was getting married and we were all excited. Now, she started out with a maid of honor and three bridesmaids. I was serving as a hostess with another sorority sister (what in the hell is a hostess, you ask? A bridesmaid who doesn't get to wear the pretty dress. Anyone want an ugly shiny silver satin backless halter dress? I'll give it away!)

Anyway, over the weeks and months, said sister turned into a diva, a mini bridezilla. Why? Well, two of her proposed bridesmaids are married women and they did what married women tend to do: they got pregnant. The bride was furious because they no longer looked good in their dresses and they would be obviously pregnant, 6-9 months pregnant, at the time of her wedding.

Meanwhile, the other hostess and I looked at our dresses and cringed. I'm built somewhere between Lula and Connie: all chest, short, big butt. A halter? My body couldn't figure out where to spill out of that dress first! Meanwhile, the bridesmaid's dress was perfect for me and the other hostess, but the bride refused to allow us to wear that dress. She wanted to differentiate between us and the bridesmaids. So I was asked to wear this extremely ugly dress, that I had to pay for, in order to support her.

Yes, I was tempted to tell her to fuck off but I held my tongue. This was my girl. I was going to be there come hell or high water and, since it was her wedding, I'd do as asked.

Well, the day arrived and the bride only had a maid of honor and a junior bridesmaid while the groom had all his groomsmen. Why? Because the bridesmaids had blown up at the bride, telling her that as married women, if they got pregnant, so be it. She needed to just deal. I begged the sister I knew to come to the wedding and she came to the reception as a guest. That's how pissed she was. Meanwhile, the bride took one look at me and the other hostess and had a fit. I'm chesty. The other hostess is hippy. We looked terrible, as we told her we did, in her chosen dress.

Now, mind you, I expended money and precious vacation time on this wedding, showed up in a dress I hated, persuaded a pissed-off bridesmaid to attend, got my best friend (another friend of the bride she'd ticked off) to attend and what thanks do I get?

To be told that I looked a mess! Well, FU! I knew that but I did as asked because it was her day, not mine.

I went out to my car, changed into my jeans and a T-shirt (yeah, I took it there), and returned to the wedding as a guest. So did the other hostess. Everyone who had been stung by her behavior sat in a little corner, nursed our non-alcoholic drinks, and talked shit. Cherry on the top? When she went around to thank everyone for coming, she purposely nodded at us and walked by. Her excuse? 'I was greeting friends of family who came first.'

WTH?

To this day, I rarely talk to her. I get the update maybe once a year. All over a wedding that happened about four years ago now. Everything I saw online told me that this is not an uncommon experience.

So, in my mind, Lula did the right thing, even though she was hurt. She recognized that something was going on with Steph and she kept her mouth shut. If it was Ranger, Steph wasn't going to talk about that until she was ready. If it was her wedding, the last thing Lula wanted to hear was that Steph wasn't happy for her. She wanted her 'White Girl' with her when she married Tank, if Steph still wanted to be there. If it was the RMSA review, this is supposed to be a work-free weekend. Don't want to talk about that right now. Lula kept her mouth shut and was rewarded with Steph coming out of her funk and opening up to her.

She could have pushed but was Steph really in a place, mentally, to talk about any of that? You know your friends. You know when to push and when to leave something alone. Even ML left it alone and she's known Steph all their lives. Hector said nothing, even though he's the person closest to Steph. Ranger said nothing, waiting for her to be ready to talk about it.

Another instance of where Lula would be a good social worker and Chenae a poor one. Chenae looked at this woman, who was obviously in pain, and slammed her for her treatment of her friend. Was Chenae right?

Yes and no.

As Lula's best friend and the maid of honor, Steph really should have put her issues to the side and supported Lula that weekend. That's what you do for friends. Her behavior was pronounced. It wasn't some little slight that no one noticed. Everyone noticed, even Chenae and Mrs. CJ, who were just meeting Steph for the first time.

Lula's bragged about her best friend to everyone, gotten them all excited to meet her, and Steph's treating Lula horribly. That's how badly Steph was behaving, to the point that it hurt other peoples' feelings to see Lula treated that way by Steph (ML, for instance). Chenae now accepts Lula. She's family and if no one else was going to tell this woman that she was being a bitch, not just to Lula but to Ranger (who Chenae is deathly afraid of), Chenae didn't mind doing it. Steph needed a reality check.

Besides, that was not a weekend to cater to Steph and her needs. That weekend, the entire reason Connie and ML were there, the reason Hector was meeting Mrs. CJ for the first time, the reason Ranger came out of hiding, was to support Lula and Tank. That's another reason why everyone ignored her. They threw their support behind Tank and Lula and worked on their wedding, ignoring Steph.

I was honestly shocked by the comments and PMs about how everyone should be supporting Steph since she was so obviously unhappy and depressed. So are you suggesting that if Steph has another emotional breakdown the weekend of the wedding, everything should stop to revolve around Steph and her issues? That's selfish. Sorry. I don't have another way to put that. Suck it up, cupcake (Sorry!). Put your drama to the side and be a friend, as Chenae said.

Also, why is it always everyone else's responsibility to push Steph and ask her what's wrong? If she doesn't want to talk, fine. No one can make you talk, but that's always the response when Steph clams up: "Why isn't anyone asking her what's wrong? Why aren't they trying to figure out what's wrong? Why isn't anyone helping her?"

Why won't Steph open her mouth and talk? There's nothing stopping her from talking to Hector, ML or Ranger. She's surrounded by her friends and isn't talking. That's like someone dying of starvation in a restaurant.

On the flip side, it's hard to put your own drama to the side and be there for someone else when you're hurting and confused. Chenae didn't know enough about Steph to slam her like that. No one knew what was going on and everyone followed Lula in this, which is what Chenae should have done. Lula ignored Steph's crap behavior, asked for her opinions anyway, left her alone when she didn't want to talk, and didn't complain to anyone except Tank.

Quite frankly, that's the only person she should have complained to. Lula leaned on her future husband and shared her hurt and frustration with him only and that's what makes Tank and Lula such a great combo. Tank also followed his 'wifey's' lead and kept his mouth shut, not even confronting his RB about Steph's behavior until they returned to San Antonio. That's what makes Lula such a good friend. She didn't talk about Steph behind her back and she didn't get in Steph's face. She left it alone until Steph was ready to talk.

That was in line with the books. In the books, when Steph is angry or confused, Lula will keep up a line of nonsense designed to distract Steph from her troubles until she's either ready to talk about it or alone to deal with it. That's what happened after Chapter 107. Lula let Steph cruise San Antonio and vent then tried to help in a neutral way.

That's why Mrs. CJ was able to reach Steph when no one else could. She gave Steph space, allowed Steph to get comfortable with her presence then promised a listening ear without judgment. Once Steph told Mrs. CJ everything she needed to get off her chest, Mrs. CJ did not judge her. She simply asked one question of Steph without requiring an answer. That's why Lula and Mrs. CJ get along so well: neither judges the other and Lula has the benefit of Mrs. CJ's years of experience and wisdom to call on.

Steph doesn't have anyone she trusts like that in her life, not even Edna. The closest person is Hector. Ranger should be that person but she's not leaning on him like Lula leaned on Tank. She held herself separate from him, refused to talk about it with him, and left Ranger in the dark. Yet again, she requires emotional openness from Ranger but she won't give it to him.

I can hear "Well, she's learned not to trust! She's not going to just tell him everything! And he hasn't been around to earn that!"

First, Ranger's been there for her for four years. They've had each other's backs before. He's earned some trust. Second, isn't that the same argument being used for Ranger? Ranger's had a lifetime to learn not to trust women but he should trust Steph and tell her everything about himself.

When it's Ranger, the argument is rejected. Well, I'm rejecting it for Steph. Give to get.

That's why she recognized Mrs. CJ and her home as healing. Mrs. CJ's home is about support and encouragement, not being judged and having time and space to sort out your own issues. That's where Tank went when he needed to think on his relationship with Lula. That's where Lula was headed the night Tank made a mess of the discussion they needed to have about the pre-nup. That's where Chenae went every weekend: to see her momma and be encouraged. It's where the guys recovered from the ordeal of Ranger school and where they take R&R after their overseas missions.

That's why Mrs. CJ's children all have such a tight bond with her: they know their momma won't judge and she'll love and support them. As she herself said, I mighta had a shit husband, but my babies are my blessing. I stayed and prayed and did what was right and I was blessed with children who come when I need 'em.

Now personally, with the wisdom of hindsight, I wish we'd all done the same thing with this sorority sister's wedding: kept our mouths shut, played our parts, and gotten through it. We shouldn't have unloaded all our frustrations on her. It was her day and she was on edge, cranky, irritable, and nervous. She wanted everything to be right. We crapped on her with our issues and that's not how you support a friend.

What might have happened if everyone had attacked Steph in the state of mind she was in that weekend? Chenae pillowcased her and Steph was so hurt at being called a disappointment it was obvious. What if everyone else had said the same things, or similar, to Steph?

—oOo—

10. Ranger popped up to throw her off balance and Hector disappeared, completing the fall.

Lula being an entirely new person surprised Steph. Ranger popping up, as a surprise, finished her off. She didn't expect him to show, he scared the crap out of her, and told her that the op was over. Not in March, when it should have finished, but in November. Ranger finished four months early but since his cover is that he's overseas, he still can't go out in public with her. He's still in hiding.

---

Also, I'd like to take a moment to point out that, while Steph has had a rough year and she's been doing great things for Ranger and RangeMan, every time they parted company Steph was headed back to her safe life and safe existence surrounded by friends and family, but Ranger was headed back into the unknown, being hunted by rogue federal agents and sadistic gang members while trying to solve a puzzle and keep his 13 task force agents alive. While Steph was struggling to make standards, Ranger was wearing disguises and fighting men attempting to kill him while he gathered information and saved lives.

Every time Ranger disappeared might have been the last time Steph saw him. Ranger's goal for the year? To survive to come back to his Babe. We take it for granted that Ranger's just going to survive these missions so we fail to appreciate the danger he's in. So if you wanted to know why I forced everyone to share in the god-awful torture Tony experienced, that's why. It was a stark reminder that Ranger was facing that every day. The moment when Alberto swung his machete? That could have easily been Ranger. James White thought he was safe wearing a bullet-proof vest and meeting with a friend. So much for safety and friendship.

We don't think of our soldiers as individuals with hopes and fears. They have body armor and Kevlar and they're carrying fifty round rifles. They're invincible! No, they are flesh and blood mortals and they die as easily as anyone else, but as long as the war is not at home we forget that. We ignore their humanity in favor of photo ops designed to remind us of how impressive they are.

Well, Ranger was fighting the war at home, the one we ignore, and we condemned him for not appreciating what Steph was doing. He wasn't properly appreciative of her efforts or her successes. Au contraire. Even in the midst of his op, he put her first. He originally intended not to make contact with her at all over the course of the year. Toward the end, he was calling her constantly.

He puts her first.

---

Meanwhile, anyone notice that Hector completely disappeared? You know now, having read Promise, that he was keeping an eye on Manolo and checking out the wiring for the building (he was also doing a little sleuthing for Tank, to be discussed later), but I purposely had Hec disappear. Hint: You should always wonder what's up when Hector disappears on Steph when he should be right by her side. I don't mean, when he disappears to Atlanta, though. That's different. That's Mijo related.

So, Ranger pops up, yet again, and there's sex and warmth and some talking, but until that Sunday in Louisiana, they had never really talked about themselves. Now, yet again, a lot of you are saying, 'Ranger's not really talking. He's not really speaking.'

He did that weekend in Louisiana.

Is he talking as much as he needs to? No, not really but that's how relationships grow. Organically. You start sharing details of your life and learn about each other and, yet again, you see Ranger trying where Steph is not. Steph's told him she needed him to give her words so he's giving her words. Ranger talked about his childhood and what makes him the person he is. You got another piece of the Piman puzzle in his story.

What did everyone want him to talk about? Himself? He did. The company? She didn't want to talk about that. His hobbies, his hopes, dreams, what he wants from the future? He told her he's ready to talk about that when she is. Is Steph ready for that discussion? The man woke up every day wondering which version of Steph he was waking up with.

I find it ironic that we require much more from Ranger than we require from Steph. Ranger is the only one of the two required to get verbal diarrhea and tell Steph the story of his life. Well, I have yet to see anyone comment on what Steph needs to give Ranger. There seems to be this expectation that running RangeMan is Steph's big sacrifice and honestly, it's not. It's a job and neither she, nor the Leadership Core, is required to renew her contract at the end of her year in charge. If they decided to replace Steph with someone else in the CO role, then how is Steph showing Ranger she's really in this relationship with him?

Yes, Ranger has said some idiotic things to Steph, but Steph hasn't exactly shown herself, in canon, to be the most stable, emotionally committed person. Ranger's doing his part. His biggest issue has been that his words did not match his actions. Well, now he's trying. He's letting down some walls and he's talking. He's giving up a side of his life that he finds personally (and financially) fulfilling in favor of being there to support her.

Steph? She says she's in now. What does that mean? For all that she screams about fidelity, Steph has demonstrated none. Steph spent years running between Ranger and Joe, being emotionally and physically unfaithful to Joe and making him a laughingstock in Trenton every time she and Ranger were in the alley. Mrs. Morelli got her good when she said

"Well, when he broke up with you, he stopped putting your feelings first, just as you ignored his feelings every time Ranger took you to the alley. [. . . ] You broke up and got back together the next week. In between, Ranger had time to do whatever he wanted with you and my son was forced to keep his mouth shut and endure it. I'll bet that if the situation had been reversed you would have called him every name in the book. Perhaps even run him over and broken his leg again."

Think of the way Steph responded to the idea that Joe was cheating on her with Terri Gilman in a motel room in To The Nines. She nearly ruined a delicate undercover op for Joe trying to sneak up on the room to see what he was doing! He laughed off her lack of trust in him but (and maybe it's just me), I would have been hurt in his position. My girlfriend doesn't trust me and doesn't believe I'm faithful but I'm supposed to think her lack of trust is amusing.

But he's not supposed to have any feelings about Steph's actions with Ranger?

I know right now it might sound as if I don't have any respect for Steph, but this is the part of Steph's character I despise and I despise it because Janet's written her this way. Who respects this? Honestly? Who finds hypocrisy funny, amusing, or fair?

Joe sends her the world's crappiest break up note and her response was to act like a jilted lover when she'd already (supposedly) cut her emotional ties! She and Ranger have been meeting up with each other up and down the East Coast for months, but she had a right to get angry about Joe's note? Why not accept that for what it is? He's not interested, she's not interested, no one's holding out hope anymore. Good. Now she doesn't have to come up with a way to let him down gently. That's the adult response but hers?

What's worse is knowing I've written a 'true to canon' response and despising it.

That's why I'm a JE basher. Within my fic, I first have to write a response to a situation that would be true to canon, but shows Steph to be a complete hypocrite and, often, incompetent. I don't even want to enumerate the examples I have of Steph saying one thing in canon and doing something totally different. Then, to make her grow up, I have to force her to face her own actions, which is going to hurt. Painfully. Then she finally gets it, makes the change and we can move forward.

I don't bash Steph. I'd like to rescue the series from JE and assign it to someone who cares (I'm not so conceited as to believe it should be me).

Going to counseling to work on herself? That's the first thing she's actually done for their relationship that was not RangeMan related in any way.

What did Steph tell him about herself? What is Steph doing for Ranger? Not the company; again, separate the company from Steph. Steph has a job. Running RangeMan is her job for which she's getting paid. Working is not a sacrifice. What is Steph doing? Getting trained doesn't count either. A: that was for her and B: that was a requirement of her job. It doesn't count. She moved into his apartment and she's redecorating it for the both of them. She's cut ties with Joe, mentally. What else is she doing for Ranger?

Steph told Ranger she needed words. Ranger's giving her words. He came to see her. He's trying.

What's Steph doing? Steph was so confused by everything that had happened that she was holding her emotions and thoughts to herself. As jkgk pointed out in her review of chapter 70:

Its interesting that the things she needs from her man are emotional and personal but the things she is willing to do for him are work and fitness related. Work, fitness and safety are very important to him but I think she has more work to do on her list. He will need other things as well from a relationship.

Jkgk got that square on the head and that's what Steph realized later. What she gave Ranger improved his mental well-being but none of what was on her 'Ella list' was personal. None of it required her to give him words or emotions but that's what she's requiring of him.

-oOo-

Also, Steph takes from Ranger's conversations what she wants to hear. Dangerous. The day White was arrested, Ranger called her and told her. He also told her not to get excited, the op was not over. What's her first thought?

Thank god it's over.

So again, hearing but not listening when it comes to Ranger. Then Hector tells her that they want White released on bail because they expect him to die and she gets angry with Ranger for not telling her. Why? He told you this wasn't over. Did he need to spell that out? Why? Why not trust him when he says the op is not over?

So now she's irrationally angry with Ranger for not telling her everything? Is that fair to Ranger? Nope. If Hector had not popped in and said anything, she would never have known. She was satisfied with what Ranger told her until she learned that there were details she was missing.

I put that in there as a reminder that Ranger's world operates in shades of gray. Steph will never know everything and can't expect to but she does have a right to know what will affect her. Ranger's always been good about informing her of what will affect her, but running RangeMan has given her the expectation that she has a right to know everything.

This is the same situation as the black-ops group she knew nothing about. There was a perfectly legitimate, valid reason why she wasn't allowed to know and, when Bobby told her that she'd find out at the appropriate time, she took that as an insult. She missed (or chose to ignore) the part where Bobby said he didn't even know.

So Les's partner doesn't know what he's up to but Steph should?

Bobby was blunt, as he tends to be, and said exactly what he was thinking. He told her that it was common for Les and Ranger to formulate plans on their own, without informing the rest of the LC, then share at the appropriate time.

Steph took that as an insult. There was something going on that she knew nothing about!

Chapter 15: I'm Not Questioning Your Decisions, Ranger's POV speaking to Mark:

"First, the Leadership Core does not deem it a necessity to consult the XOs before we make a decision. We may ask your opinions, but the final decision belongs to us and that's the way it always will be."

In that moment, she did to Bobby what Mark did to Ranger and Bobby responded to her much nicer than Ranger did to Mark. Les is at a level higher than her. He has every right not to discuss what he's up to, just as the LC didn't discuss Steph's appointment with the XOs.

Steph's not at the LC level. She doesn't get to know what they're up to before they're ready to discuss it. It's not their responsibility to tell her what they're thinking. As a leader, Ranger holds a firm line there: we'll tell you when we get ready and we are not required to fill you in. If we want your opinion, we'll ask. Ranger does not cherry pick there and that's good management. That's why Les hadn't said anything to Steph. Steph herself practices this management, but when it's practiced against her, she has a problem with it, just as Mark did.

Then you find out in chapter 106 exactly what this idea is and what Les has in mind. The LC discusses it so you get a real understanding of what Les is up to and now Bobby's comments make sense. Security clearances are involved. This is true black-ops work and will require Ranger and Les to set it up. There are RangeMen in the company who will know what is going on and Steph won't because she can't.

But Bobby's feelings were hurt when you guys insulted, slammed, and yelled at him for what he said to Steph because you didn't have all the facts (and I do mean hurt. He took off in his Mercedes and wouldn't speak to me for days.). He said nothing more than the truth and warned Steph that she was micromanaging. Because Steph always feels as if she's not being told everything or left out, she was hurt. Hello, paging Mark?

However, as has been stated before, RangeMan is a front for their black-ops work. There will always be things she won't know about. If she can't be cleared, she won't know anything about what's going on in that division. Can she handle that?

Within canon she said she could when it involved Ranger. However, as demonstrated with Joe, she couldn't. Not well, at least.

As Bobby said later, details make a difference. So why all the anger? Because of the way he said it? His response was not degrading, insulting, or ambiguous. It was straightforward, but was treated as if Bobby had patted her on the head, presented her with a Barbie and told her to go play. That's not what happened. He admitted he didn't know what Les was up to and told her that there would always be things going on at their level that she wouldn't know about until they were ready. Her job was to concentrate on her job and wait on more info, just as he was doing.

Much nicer answer than Mark got.

Anyone notice, in Chapter 109, that Steph admitted she had ideas she was working on but she wasn't ready to discuss? Nice. No reciprocity with BLT. She wants to know everything they're up to, but doesn't want to share and bounce her ideas off them until she's ready.

Same thing happened with Ranger. He told her the truth. Did he give her every detail? No, but does that change the validity of what he told her? No. So why the anger? How much difference does that detail make in the grand scheme of things? Was that one detail, that they wanted White to make bail, so important she should be allowed to sulk and be angry at Ranger for holding back? If so, then that relationship will never work.

Ranger: Ambiguous communication. Steph: Lack of communication.

Please keep that in mind.

—oOo—

I recognize that people are defensive toward Steph. I suppose this is why I was called a Steph-basher so many times, because I try to paint everyone honestly. I won't begin to tell you guys how many times I've put a character in the exact same situation as Steph will face later, you guys are sympathetic (or not) but the moment it happens to Steph, the reviews are instantly critical of whoever was critical of her.

What I have enjoyed about writing Change in the Wind is the fact that I wanted to take everyone off their pedestals. BLT is not perfect. They are flawed human beings who get it right and get it wrong (they're all standing behind me clapping at that statement!). They are not perfect and aren't attempting to be perfect but they are working on better versions of themselves.

Isn't that why we've always loved them? We've always seen the side of the guys that shows their faithfulness, their constancy, their loyalty, and their humanity. In every story I've ever seen, the guys have been written pretty similarly, even though Bobby and Les have never made an appearance in any book in canon since High Five. We've all done our part to create Bobby and Les and to give Tank more personality and they thank every fanfiction writer and reader for our dedication to the cause.

(Les has finally, magically, replaced my OJ. About time.)

Ranger is not perfect. He gets it wrong and he gets it right, but he definitely will not turn into some emo character with me. No hospital bedside confessions of undying love over Steph's prone body here. Steph is not perfect but I use her imperfections as a basis for really making her grow without losing sight of who she really is. The original characters I've brought in all serve a purpose, either to press a point (Chenae and Armando), serve as villains (Mark and James White), or just make the story interesting (Mack(!) and Hector Manuel).

No fanfiction writer writes without being able to understand and empathize, even slightly, with the characters, even the hated ones, which explains all the lovey fluffy Voldemort and Lucius Malfoy fanfiction! They're not evil! They're just misunderstood!.

For some people, Steph's an unlikeable idiot. For others, she's a survivor. I take the view that Steph, while childish and irresponsible, is a survivor and a strong individual. I spend most of the chapters writing from her point of view, her perspective. If I didn't like her I couldn't do it, but Steph is not the only person in the world who responds to things based on her history or background. Everyone does.

What bothers me is when we excuse Steph's actions with any multitude of reasons, but when another character faces the same or a similar situation, we tear their hide off. Armando was my most pointed example but he's not alone. Lula, Chenae, and Mark are also a few of my "victims". I've put each one of these characters through some trial Steph will face or has faced at some point and the response to their reactions has been brutal. We don't allow other characters any excuses but Steph?

We'll perform verbal and logical gymnastics to excuse and explain her actions.

All I ask is that everyone treat each character equally. No one is perfect and no one expects anyone else to be perfect. Just try your best. That's all we can ask of anyone.

(Author steps down and walks away. Time to catch a plane.)