Your name is Eridan Ampora, and you believe that you've been dealt a cruel hand in life.
Then again, you're a bit overdramatic.
Most people who've had the displeasure of meeting you know you as 'that douchebag with the purple streak in his hair,' but you're also the heir apparent to Dualscar Industries, a semi-international manufacturing corporation known for building military-grade ships and vessels, thank you very much.
Because of this, your father has insisted that you take on more responsibilities in the company—namely all of his—while he left for a three-month vacation to Scotland and Wales. While you're not too keen on having to wait for a chance to breath in-between answering important phone calls and urgent emails from corporate, it's helped to at least keep your mind off of certain things, so there's that.
One a normal day when your father's not taking time off, you act as a regional representative for the Southwest Coast of the United States, taking frequent trips to meet up with military officials interested in purchasing or renting ships wholesale for their fleets. You couldn't count on ten hands how many times you've visited and left US naval bases with freshly signed contracts, stamped and ready to be filed, and you're barely pushing twenty.
Your father has expressed on many occasions that you'd be the one to take over the company when it's time, but if running this behemoth of a business is anything like it is now with him temporarily out of the picture for just a few months then you're not so sure you'd be up for that. You quite enjoy the leisurely position you already have, simply getting to travel and meet with amazing leaders once in awhile. You'll probably make this issue known to your father as soon as he gets back to town.
Academically you double-major in military history and anthropology at the local university, one which many of your childhood friends and acquaintances attend. However, unlike them, you do not need to worry about mounting college debt because your own education has already been pre-paid in full. Your friends say that you're lucky. You say that you've earned it.
In your free time you enjoy going to local indie shows, hanging out with your best friend Feferi, and spending a couple hours here and there questing on World of Warcaft when your guild doesn't fail to invite you on a game night. They can be real assholes sometimes—especially Vriska.
Fuck Vriska.
Currently, you're sitting at the computer in your home office, attempting to compose an email to your father regarding weekly updates with the business, but it's hard to think when your brother's shitty music is blaring throughout the whole house. Some days it's old rock n' roll from the sixties, other days it's beeps and bloops, and occasionally there might be Top 10 thrown in there when he's feeling rambunctious.
You hate it all.
"Jesus fuckin' Christ, Cro! Would you please do the world a favor an' throw your fuckin' stereo at the window?" you shout at the wall, banging on it for emphasis. He doesn't turn it down. "I can't think with that shit!"
He pops his head through the doorway with a smirk, unlit cigarette dangling from his lips and jet black hair messily combed back. "You need to loosen up, chief. Have some fun and relax!"
"If this is your idea of relaxin' then no wonder Dad never gave you a chance to be part a' his company," you tell him. "What's with the fuckin' dubstep music, anyways?" Aren't you supposed to be a greaser or whatever?"
He ignores the first remark and joins you fully in the room, falling back into the loveseat against the wall behind you. You turn in your desk chair to face him. "No true artist restricts themselves to just one music genre, Eridan. You'd understand if you were as passionate about music as I am."
"You need to get your ears checked."
He chuckles.
Most people your age would be thrilled to have their own two-story waterfront home with no worries when it came to a mortgage even if it meant they had to share it with a wild pack of wolves, but Cronus is much more worse to deal with. Living with your older brother of twenty-two has proven to be less pleasant than you could have ever imagined.
Under no circumstances were you required to give him a place to stay, especially since he was doing just fine with his own apartment and a job ever since he moved out of your father's home at sixteen. But as time passed he grew more and more desperate (or lonely, depending on who you ask) for attention and companionship, eventually landing himself on your doorstep with pleas of, "You're supposed to be my brother, Eridan! Who else can I go to if I can't even come to you?" So it was out of the goodness of your heart (which of course is made of pure gold) that you offered up a room to him earlier this year, but for the most part he sleeps on the couch downstairs; he likes to make things more difficult for himself than they need to be in hopes of getting some sympathy. You've called him out on this numerous times, making sure to remind him that nobody cares.
If you were being completely honest with yourself right now, you'd admit that the actual reason you let him stay with you was because you thought it would earn you some brownie points with Feferi, who loves charity like a fat kid loves cake, and if anyone should know a thing about cake it's you. You used to be sort of a chubby kid. Even today you still can't get rid of that extra ten pounds from your childhood, but that doesn't matter because as far as you know, you're fucking flawless.
Cronus managed to see himself through community college on his own and even has a well-paying job at a local garage where he works on cars like the grease monkey he is. Because of this, you're not stuck with him breathing down your neck 24/7 and are only subjected to listening to him bitch and complain about his non-existent love life most of the time, thank God.
Back in the present, he's opening his mouth as if he's about to spiral into one of his hour-long woe is me rants that you've heard far too many of in the past month, so you shut him up quick with, "Did a package come from corporate this morning? I'm waitin' for some important paperwork."
"How should I know? Pops doesn't want me touching a single hair on his precious little business; you're the golden boy star-child of the family."
"I'm really not in the mood for one a' your little jealous kiddy fits, so do me a favor an' spare me just this once."
He shrugs carelessly and fiddles with the unlit cigarette. You never understood why he has them when you're pretty sure he's never smoked a day in his life. "So, Meenah stopped by this morning—"
"Nope."
"Oh come on, you don't even know where I was going with that!"
You swing yourself back around to the computer and continue typing out the email to your father. "I know enough about where you were goin' with that to know I don't wanna hear it."
"You don't ever give me the time of day and I don't deserve that, alright?" he whines. "See, yeah, maybe I was gonna tell you about how Meenah totally came here on her own accord to actually talk to me for once, which is great because, sheesh, it's about time she finally came around. I'm not going to wait for her forever, you know? But you're just missing out on hearing what Feferi had to say."
Your hands go still on the keyboard. "She came?"
"No, but I bet I could make her."
You don't hesitate to grab the nearest thing and throw it at his head as hard as you can. He's lucky it was a stress ball and not the paperweight.
"Hey, watch it! I was just kidding," he shouts while rubbing his forehead. "Like I don't already know she's off limits. Can't a guy just crack a joke once in awhile?"
"Not when it comes to Fef, you fuckin' creep. Now answer the question!"
He frowns. "No, she didn't—uh, she wasn't here. I guess since Meenah was already on her way over to give me—I mean,seduce me—Feferi told her to tell me to tell you that she can't 'do tomorrow,' whatever that means? Something about her cell phone not working otherwise she'd text you herself or whatever, but I was kind of occupied with Meenah at the time so I don't remember exactly... if you know what I'm saying."
"Only thing you're busy with is your hand down your pants," you sniff and return to your task once more. You don't want Cronus to notice how visibly upset you are at the news that you'll be needing to cancel plans with Feferi. Tomorrow the two of you were supposed to spend the whole day together with nobody to interrupt like old times, back when she wasn't dating that asshole nerd with the lisp; you've barely seen Feferi outside of classes ever since the two of them started dating a couple weeks ago.
You wish you could put a stop to the whole train wreck that's still currently in motion, but there's nothing you can do. You knew she was slipping from your hands the moment she began hanging out with that loser after running into him alone at the campus coffee shop back in April. If you hadn't of been late to meet her there, perhaps none of this would have happened and they'd of stayed nothing more than online guild buddies.
"You alright there, Dannyboy?" Cronus' hand has found itself on your shoulder and he leans in to look at the computer screen with knitted brows. "I think you're a bit tense. It's the girl, isn't it?"
It takes you a second to realize the words 'HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE' have taken up a couple lines of the email. You promptly highlight and delete it at once, shrugging off your brother's hand because you don't want him touching you.
"What did I tell you about callin' me that," You smell a faint hint of cigarette smoke and cringe. "You smoke?"
He grins and takes a step back. "Well of course I do. What would I carry this around for it I didn't?" He points to the unlit stick of cancer now tucked behind his ear. You roll your eyes and choose not to tell him how skeptical you are about anything that comes out of his mouth. "Hey, I know you're into Meenah's little sis and all, but maybe you should try looking elsewhere. I mean, maybe not elsewhere as in anywhere around here since I'm pretty sure the whole town hates your guts, but maybe elsewhere as in online?" He shoves his hands in his pockets and shrugs with pursed lips. "I wouldn't know much about it since you know, I've got Meenah all over me now and whatnot, but maybe it'd work for someone like yourself."
You lift a brow and scoff. "Someone like myself? What's that supposed to mean?"
"Well, definitely not as successful as I am when it comes to picking up chicks, that's for sure."
You laugh—no, cackle—because you're not sure if he even hears the words that come out of his mouth, constantly contradicting himself, and wave his presence away with the flick of your wrist. "Would you please get the hell outta here before I'm subjected to stoopin' down to your level of disparity and stupidity? I have actual work to do and Dad's countin' on me to do it right."
It's written all over his face that he takes that last line as a personal jab in the ribs. Good, because that's what you wanted. Without another word, he turns and stomps out of the room like a child who's just been told to go stand in the corner, and you can't help the small victorious smile that creeps over your lips.
Finally alone again, you minimize the email and bring up a webpage prompting you to load up certain fields with personal information. You're still new to the world of online dating so you're missing a few things on your profile, like your education and a better detailed 'About Me' that doesn't just say, "lookin for someone wworth my time or wwhatevver."
Cronus can never know.
To be fair to the pathetic losers who actually use these stupid sites to find people, you've heard over and over countless times the stunningly-high amount of fulfilling relationships that online dating has forged, as well as some other bullshit about how these relationships are more likely to succeed or something, but you really don't give a shit. You just want something to keep you busy while Captor sucks up all Feferi's time.
Because the last thing you'd want is for someone you actually know to recognize you, you've set your location to the nearest major city and have taken the liberty of completely omitting any information that could be linked directly to one Eridan Ampora, including photos. Instead of a 180x180 headshot sits an image of the ocean from your back porch. You think this is more than sufficient, and anyone who might inquire about your looks can go fuck themselves.
You've got no new messages from any interested users which you're pretty sure has to be a glitch. It's been almost a whole week on this site and you're positive there's not a single girl within a twenty-mile radius who wouldn't swoon over the fact that you're two inches shy from six feet tall, make well over a hundred-thousands dollars a year, and that you're interested in history.
You remind yourself that they're most likely uncultured swine, so they probably don't know any better.
Having finished your routine check-in, you're about to switch back over to the email when something catches your attention. On the sidebar where 'Possible Users You May Find Interesting' are listed, there's a photoless profile with the username apocolypseArisen in small bolded text, and beneath that are your shared interests; history, travelling, learning new things, rainy days, MMORPGs, etc. and she's apparently within your area.
Curiosity piqued, you check out her profile which states she's eighteen and attends a local college in your town. She's studying archaeology which you can't help but find sort of cool, enjoys paranormal stories and sci-fi movies, and apparently has a soft spot for grunge rock and some metal. You make a face at her taste in music, but you figure you could deal with it. Everyone has their flaws.
Besides her zodiac sign (Aries) and her ideal boyfriend (someone whos not a self serving douchebag) there's no information about her salary or any other vital statistics other than that she's currently online, which kind of sucks because it'd be nice to know where she stands on the social ladder; these things are important, after all. But despite this and the fact that you have no idea what she looks like, you're fairly certain that she's the most competent person you're going to find on this damn site so you cut her some slack.
You're a bit hesitant at first, but you click on the messenger tab and send her a quick hello.
CA: hey
CA: thought id say wwhats up since wwe like some a the same stuff
CA: you there cause your little chat icon thing says youre online but youre not answwerin
You wait a few minutes but there's no reply.
Whatever.
CA: if youre just ignorin me thats kinda rude alright
CA: i can tell youre online
CA: okay wwell message me back maybe wwhenevver you get this i guess
You minimize the window and go back to the email, feeling a little irritated that she didn't answer you, but that's alright. If she doesn't want to talk to you then it's her loss, not yours. You were doing her a favor by giving her the time of day, after all.
It's not until around midnight when you're getting ready to crawl into bed a notification sound would go off on your phone, signaling that you had unread messages from something. You'd reach for it and tap on the blinking app icon, bringing the mobile chat messenger for that dating site into view, the brightness of the screen momentarily blinding you.
After blinking a few times to adjust to the light, you'd realize that apocolypseArisen had just messaged you back.
AA: hey im sorry for getting back to you so late
AA: i was out on this dig all night and i just got back to my room
AA: i dont usually log out of my account so that was my fault for being misleading
AA: i hope you didnt actually think i was ignoring you!
AA: oh woops its probably really late over there im sorry
AA: ive been in france for the past 3 months so i forget about the time differences a lot
AA: youre probably sleeping so i wont bother you anymore
AA: hopefully i can catch you at a decent hour next time
AA: it was nice sort of meeting you
AA: ill be up for a little while if you want to talk but otherwise goodnight!
Too tired to even consider responding, you'd toss your phone to the side with a sigh and flip over, leaving the conversation to be picked up later at some other time.