Chapter 2
Steph was leaning into my body as we rode the elevator to the penthouse suite. I was amazed at how she was holding on, but I assumed that she forced it so as not to cause any kind of scene in the hotel. "Proud of you, Babe." I felt her smile into my chest as I pulled her closer to my body and rubbed her shoulder.
When the elevator doors opened I rushed her into our hotel room. I was desperate to get her behind closed doors, desperate to put this whole horrible night behind us.
She looked at me the minute the door closed. "I'll be okay. I just need to shower, need to get them off me." Her choice of words made me wince. I'm sure it was exactly how she felt, but it horrified me that she had to deal with that because of something I'd asked her to do.
I nodded and cupped her cheeks into my palms. "Anything I can do for you?" I searched her eyes trying to decipher her emotions. I felt the shakes from the adrenaline crash starting earlier, but she'd stopped it somehow and I didn't want her to slip into denial about just how close of a call was avoided tonight.
"You'll be here waiting, right?" It was the first time she'd shown any hint of vulnerability and I wasn't sure if I should pull her into my arms or let her go.
"Of course, Babe. Take your time. Do you want me to order some room service?"
She shook her head and turned towards the bathroom. I watched her close the door and let out a deep breath, trying to force my muscles to relax. Despite getting my hands on Martin, I was still wound up with rage over what Martin and his guards would have done to Steph if we hadn't been so close. My mind was reeling with how much I could love her and yet put her into a position where she could be so utterly devastated.
Walking into the bedroom, I put my weapons on the nightstand and was surprised not to hear the shower running. I walked to the bathroom door and let my hand rest on the knob as my worry about the curly-haired woman inside grew. I leaned my ear to the door and heard a sniffle that tore a hole in my gut. I hated hearing her cry, but hated even more thinking that she was crying and hurting alone to spare me in some way
"Babe? Can I come in, please?" I threw out the magic word early, wanting to avoid any resistance from her.
Her weak voice sounded from the other side of the door, "Okay."
She was naked on a mat on the floor, her knees pulled up to her chest, her back resting against the tub. Her face was red and puffy from tears as she looked at me. "'I'm sorry, I know it's over now." She started to shake. The crash she had somehow stopped earlier was back with a vengeance now. "They were going to rape me..." Tears flowed from her eyes in a steady stream.
I sat down next to her and pulled her quickly into my lap, my arms locking around her tiny body. Her head nuzzled into my neck as I tried to quiet her. "It is over now, you're safe." The urge to give her security was with me all the time, but was always stronger after she'd been hurt. "You're safe to just let it all out now." I wanted to promise her that I would never have let them rape her, but the fact that I let her go back there knowing how easily a distraction could go wrong stopped me from voicing that promise. Tonight was the closest call we'd had with that kind of harm and I was tense over it. She'd been hit and tossed around before, but this was the closest she'd come to being violated because of a job I'd asked her to do.
Her breath was coming fast as she shook against my body. "I know, I'm sorry, I'm sorry."
Running my hands up and down her bare back, I kissed her forehead. "Steph, stop. You don't owe me an apology. I should be apologizing to you for asking you to do this job."
She cried into my shoulder for several minutes, letting out all her fears, her body coming down from the rush of adrenaline. As she quieted her body her breathing slowed. Pulling back from my chest, her hand rested around my neck as her eyes met mine. "Shower with me?"
Her blue eyes were tentative and afraid of rejection, reminding me again how very much work I needed to do to earn the trust of her heart. "Of course, Babe."
I followed her as she stood, wanting to make sure she was steady on her feet. I stripped quickly and turned the water on, keeping her tucked into my side until the water warmed. I stepped into the shower and helped her under the spray. Her eyes were dazed and distant as I slicked back my hair.
Normally being in the shower with Steph would have my body reacting prominently, but tonight only my heart was affected. I worked to help her get clean, her body still releasing an occasional tremor, her hands unsure of what they should do. Running the wash cloth down her arms, I saw bruises around her wrists for the first time.
Steph started to pull her hands away from me, forcing me to look into her face to see what was wrong. "Why are you mad?" I furrowed my eyebrows at her, certain that I had my blank face on. "You're clenching your jaw. You only do that when you're mad. It's very slight, most people wouldn't probably notice."
I chuckled at that, realizing she knew me better than anyone else ever had. I ran the pads of my thumbs over her bruised arms. "I hadn't seen these bruises before and I was wishing I had gotten my hands on the man who had pinned you down and caused them."
Her fingers traced my jaw line as she met my eyes. "Tank and Lester taught the guards a lesson or two, I watched them. I'm okay. I know I was a little hysterical a bit ago, but I'm okay Ranger."
It wasn't a surprise to me that Tank and Lester had gotten rough with the guards. All of my men always made sure to teach anyone who dared to a lay a hand on their Bombshell a pretty severe lesson. Still, I regretted that I hadn't done some more of that lesson teaching myself.
"You're so good at distractions, Babe. I'm so proud of how you handle yourself and that stress, but it kills me to think of you being hurt even a little bit, let alone what they tried tonight. I'm so sorry I put you in that position."
Her eyes watched me, unsure of the emotion or apology I was expressing. It wasn't like me to be so open with her and she was struggling with how to accept it. Cupping her bruised cheek in my hand, I let my thumb caress her swollen skin before leaning in to kiss her lips gently. I wanted her, always wanted to devour her, but tonight the kiss was one more of devotion than lust, one of deep affection I wanted to make sure she knew I held for her and her only.
Pulling back from the kiss, she gave me a shy smile before wrapping her arms around me for a hug. I held her there, trying to comfort myself as much as her until the water started to cool and a small shiver shook her soft body. Turning the water off, I wrapped a towel around her and kissed her forehead.
"Give me just a minute to comb through my hair." She bit her lip, suddenly extremely modest in her half-dressed state.
Nodding, I left her in the bathroom and changed into my boxers before going to the kitchen to get us both some water. I sat on the couch listening to her move around and felt content. Having her in my space, around me, always gave me that sense of calm, a sense of peace I never knew until she came into my life. I tried to resist it, tried to push it away in the name of keeping her safe, but it was useless. Every time I pushed her away or gave her some kind of excuse about why I didn't do relationships, I felt part of myself slipping away.
I knew I'd hurt her deeply, though she never said it, never held it against me. Her willingness to take whatever I offered and be content with that always astonished me. If she had just cut me out I might have been able to walk away. It would have hurt, but not nearly as bad as having her so close and trying to keep her distanced from me.
She came out of the bedroom in one of my black t-shirts. I knew this was standard sleepwear for her from the few times she'd stayed at my place and the number of times I'd broken into her apartment just to watch her sleep. Her eyes were exhausted as I approached her, wanting to help her to get to the couch and relax. "Want some ice for your cheek?" Her face was very swollen, we should have iced it before she got in the shower, but I understood the desire to just wipe the night from her skin, too.
Touching her cheek gingerly, she nodded as I helped her sit on the couch. I grabbed a towel from the bathroom and filled it with ice from the refrigerator. Sitting on the couch, I grimaced when she winced at the cold on her tender cheek and pulled her into my body. Her entire body relaxed into mine with a sigh, causing me to want to puff up with pride at the level of security and safety I provided this beautiful woman.
We sat for a long time, my fingers tracing her arm as her body relaxed into mine. When she'd had enough of the ice she stood up and put it in the kitchen sink. Coming back into the living room, she stood before me chewing on her bottom lip. "It was weird having you inside the club with me. I'm so used to you being outside."
Tugging on her hands, I pulled her into my lap, wanting to feel her against me as I tried to understand just what weird meant. She got settled, leaning her head against my shoulder and resting her hand on my forearm over her legs. "Weird, how? Is that good or bad?"
"A bit of both, but more good than bad. I know you can't usually be inside because you're likely to be recognized in Trenton." Letting out a small breath her hand traced up my bare forearm before resting on my shoulder. I wanted to press, needed to understand her thoughts, but knew that I needed to let her do it in her own time and way. "Having you close reassured me more. I know you're always there when I'm doing a distraction and that the rest of the guys do everything they can to keep me safe, but being able to see you gave me an extra dose of courage because I knew if anything went wrong you'd be there rather instantly."
"Babe, you are the most courageous person I've ever known." I kissed her forehead, my hands tightening around her, wishing I could pull her inside my chest so that she'd always feel safe and courageous.
She giggled at my words. "I doubt that."
Pulling back to look her in the eye, I tried not to speak sternly. "Don't minimize my compliments. You know I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it."
"I'll try." She nodded before leaning her head back on my shoulder. "Having you watching though made me feel dirty. Well, dirtier than usual. I like doing distractions, like knowing that I'm contributing to RangeMan and doing something helpful, but they always leave me feeling dirty after. It doesn't last long, but it's there."
Her words were coming fast so I tried rubbing her back to soothe her racing mind. "I'm sorry, Steph. You don't have to do any more. I won't ask, I don't like seeing you in danger and I hate knowing how much they affect you."
Shaking her head against my neck, she continued to speak. "No, I want to keep doing them, don't think of trying to stop me." Her voice had an edge and I knew she didn't want me to force something on or take something away from her.
"I promise I won't." I pressed my lips to her forehead, wanting to seal the vow with a kiss.
"I can't explain why having you watch made me feel dirtier. I know you're always there listening, but it just felt different knowing you could see Martin putting his hands on me or whispering in my ear. Oddly, I felt like I was betraying you in some way, which I know is ridiculous on a whole host of levels."
Letting my hand run up her arm, I caressed her neck. There was so much emotion and confusion behind her words and while I wanted to address them all, I knew that I had to take it slow. Tonight just wasn't the time to confess any kind of deep feelings, she wouldn't believe them, would chalk it all up to the trauma of the distraction.
"Babe, I never want you to feel that way, ever. Watching was much harder on me than listening. I liked being there, liked knowing that if something went wrong I'd be the first one to reach you." After every distraction no matter how easy or horrible, I was always the one to comfort her, but rarely was I the first person to reach her simply because I tried to stay out of sight from the skips.
"Still, every time I saw Martin touch you or lean in close, I wanted to tackle him. I hated knowing that he was so close let alone putting his hands on your skin. I watched you close your eyes at one point and knew you were digging deep for strength and all I wanted to do was snatch you up in my arms and take you away to comfort you."
Steph moved closer to me, her hands gripping at my sides just before she kissed my neck. "I was so scared. I knew you were coming, but when they pinned me to that desk..." She shook her head as if trying to dislodge the memory from her brain.
"It's okay, Babe." I squeezed her tighter to me, wanting to give her security in my embrace while making sure she knew that she had nothing to fear now. "When I heard him slap you, I was scared too, but I knew I could get you out."
She smiled against my neck. "You always rescue me, Batman, always."
Silently I prayed that I would always rescue her in time. I rested my chin against her forehead as we both relaxed our muscles, slowly letting go of the tension of the night. She yawned into my neck a few minutes later though she tried to suppress it, not wanting to break the connection and go to bed.
The suite had two bedrooms and while I desperately wanted to sleep with her, I'd promised no pressure and I meant it. I needed to feel her close to me tonight and I was worried that she'd have nightmares and I didn't want her dealing with those alone. "Did you want your own bed, Steph?"
She sat back, her hands around my neck as she gathered her thoughts. "No, please stay with me, hold me."
My entire body released tension I wasn't aware it was holding at her words. Slipping my arm under her knees, I stood up and carried her into the bedroom. We slid under the covers quickly, the exhaustion of the day too much to ignore. I pulled her back into my chest and held her there as tightly as I could while still allowing her to breathe comfortably. "Get some rest, Babe. Tomorrow, we'll have fun."
I kissed the back of her curly head as she sighed and pressed into my body. After this night, we both just needed the reassurance of the other's presence. It didn't take her very long to fall asleep and just before I allowed sleep to claim me too, I whispered into her ear, "I love you, Stephanie and I promise to fix all the heartaches I've caused you."