Drain Brameged Inc. Proudly Presents
A Mad-Hamlet Production
Blue: Cerulean
She drifted on a cerulean sea. Mirror smooth waters blending, moving, with that slow grace of something ancient, something satisfied with itself. She lay in that smooth, silk of life and gazed up into the skies; no great ball of harsh lights marred the perfect blue that stretched to the horizons, darkening as it moved away, fading down to the rich deep blue of the sea. It was impossible to know where the waters ended and the heavens began.
"Doctor T'Soni, this is a surprise."
A ripple marred the surface of the waters.
"Why would that be Doctor? I've been here every day."
"Well, yes but you've brought a friend. And you are?"
"Doc, I'm Garrus to my friends; you are not my friend since from what I understand, you're the guy who's going to kill Shepard."
From below in the midnight blues of the depths something moved.
"Dr. T'Soni, Commander Shepard has been brain dead for-"
"These readings do not indicate brain death!"
The waves grew, an ugly purple blossomed on the horizon marring the perfect line between sea and sky.
"You are right in essence Dr. T'Soni, however no matter how far above average Shepard's brain activity may be it is, as you can plainly see, flat-lined. It may be flat-lined at higher frequencies than the norm but she is still brain dead. You could lay bricks on that foundation!"
"Great bedside manner you have there, Doc."
"And what justification does Alliance High Command have for casually throwing away its greatest hero?"
"Doctor T'Soni, please, listen to reason-"
"Oh I know all about the arguments Doctor. How her implants have boggled the best scientific minds-"
"That's exactly the point! She was completely physically healed in mere weeks, bones knit, internal organs repaired and even after all this time she hasn't shown even the slightest sign of muscular atrophy. Hell, if anything by my estimates she's in better shape now than her last physical. Something...changed her implants. They're running in ways no one has ever seen. Even that former Cerberus Agent-"
"Miranda. Jack calls her a Cerberus Cheerleader. Hey, there's an idea- let's call Jack in. You can explain this to her; she hasn't murdered a civilian since...is it Tuesday?"
Cerulean was dying. The blue was being pulled away, toward the horizon, into darkness. The sky was being leeched of that beautiful blue. A wave broke over her mouth, she sputtered and tried to swim.
"It doesn't matter Mr. Garrus, Dr. T'Soni as you can plainly see I have my orde- Hey! Give those back! What are you doi...Don't EAT my orders!"
"Mmmm, I have to say Doc, these are perfect. Garnished with just the right amount of hypocrisy and bullshit."
The quiet, it had been so quiet, fell away as she paddled feebly. The water was now darkness and cold. A cold that crept deep inside; she could feel it sliding through her, intrusive, a thief from the dark- here to rob her of all peace.
The horizon rumbled.
"How dare you! I'm acting under the full authority of Alliance Command; I'm going to call security!"
"That wasn't helpful, Garrus."
"It was that or shoot him; what are they thinking? They really believe this is the right thing to do?"
"I...can understand it in a way. They could do a lot of good if they understood what's happened to her, how the implants have been- I would like to believe that part of her would be proud. I suppose. Being called to serve, one last time. It's been so long too; she hasn't moved since- she didn't...but she...her promise..."
"She couldn't keep every promise, Liara. She tried though; Spirits, we both know she tried."
Thunder came from below. It surged from the depths, the horizon leapt upwards and the thunder became a roar- a wall of black water, as far as could be seen, came seething towards her. Black water consuming the wasted remaining threads of cerulean sky.
She opened her eyes.
"Ow," she breathed.
Three things happened at once.
The monitoring devices around the room began to shriek.
Liara began to shriek, she could make out a few words: Goddess', Shepard, Goddess' again then a whole bunch of Shepards and even more Goddess'. The occasional thank, please and dream thrown in.
And Shepard's left hand snaked out at whip-cracking speed, smacked the nearest noise machine, one the size of a toaster oven, and sent it screaming across the room to explode against the wall leaving a sizable dent. She sat up holding her now dangling left hand.
"Son of a bitch!" she cursed holding the throbbing limb as she sat up then she was buried in blue.
Liara all but hurtled herself into Shepard, twining her arms around the soldier's torso, lips pressed frantically at her neck, jawline and moving up to her ear where warm breath tickled across the sensitive skin and her words came tumbling out, "Do not be a dream, Goddess, please do not be a dream, so many times I have woken from this dream, realized its a dream and cried and cried and cried, please do not be a dream, please, oh, please, please tell me you are not a dream; tell me-"
Shepard turned slightly so she could look at Liara, stilled her lips with a gentle kiss and whispered,
"It's not a dream."
"The dreams have said that too," Liara mumbled, she had squeezed her eyes shut; as if hoping that if she did it hard enough, and this was a dream, she could sleep for as long as she wished.
Shepard reached up, cupped Liara's face gently and turned the other woman's head so now she was breathing into her asari's ear and she whispered, "I keep my promises."
And the Liara kissed her and all she could think was, 'blue,' then her asari deepened the kiss and thoughts became more difficult while instinct took over wielding its favorites: desire and hope. That was until someone cleared their throats.
They broke apart, Shepard could swear she heard Liara's smile as the other woman lay her head on Shepard's shoulder. Looking across the room Shepard spotted Garrus. He was leaning casually against the wall, arms folded, studying the armored finger tips of one of his gauntlets. He glanced at her, "Oh hey Shepard," he said, raising a hand in greeting. "Didn't notice you there."
"Hey yourself," she replied with equal casualness, still holding Liara she slowly began to run her hands over the asari's back. "What'cha doin'?"
"Not much," the turian shrugged. "Came to see if an old friend had amazingly risen from the dead again and darn," he snapped his fingers, "she has. Now I have to pay her for that poker game. Rotten luck."
Liara's quiet chuckles were muffled by Shepard's hospital gown but continued to grow in volume until she pulled away laughing with ringing clarity. She wiped at her eyes, "I cannot- No, this is too... Oh Goddess Shepard, you're alive," she turned to Garrus, "she's alive, so much has happened and then this- the you two are- Look at us. So fast, all so fast."
She shook her head, closed her eyes a moment before leveling a steady gaze at both Shepard and Garrus and started again,"Look at you. Trying to be more relaxed and, I believe the term is, cool; you're both acting like children.. This is not a contest."
"Of course it isn't a contest," Garrus said nodding.
"Couldn't agree more," Shepard added.
"And even if it were," Garrus approached the bed, traded a glance with Shepard and they said at the exact same time, "I'd win."
Garrus' self control cracked, "Damn, it's good to see you, Shepard," they clasped hands fiercely. "I mean vertically, not flat on your back. Been getting lazy in your old age I guess."
He sat down in a chair next to leaving plenty of room for where Liara was leaning against Shepard, her arm snaked around the soldier possessively.
"Old? I'll show you-" Shepard cut off mid sentence; Garrus' hand was raised, palm out his head cocked to one side, listening. "Company," he hissed and moved to stand flush against the wall, beside the doorway. Shepard heard too, the heavy sound of booted footfalls and-
"I'd recognize that screech anywhere," Garrus murmured. "Our friend Doctor Orders is back and he's bringing guests."
Shepard heard the Doctor's voice as he drew closer, "...want those two removed from the premises at once; they are interfering with the authority of the Earth Alliance."
Leaning in quick, Shepard gave Liara a peck on the cheek and whispered, "I've got this. Just back me up."
Nodding Liara responded quietly, "Always, Shepard."
The security guards came in first, one moved left, the other moved right and up, folded their arms and did there best to look in total control of the situation; up the middle came the Doctor, "There's the asari and- Shepard?"
The human in question waved nonchalantly in greeting, "Ah, room-service. I'll be checking out now; please have my bags brought down to the lobby and call me a taxi would you? Be quick and I'll give you a shiny nickel."
"Shepard? Awake? Impossible," The Doctor went to one of the medical devices and spotted the damage. Ignoring it he examined the surviving monitors and readouts. The two women on the bed could overhear his excited mumbles. He spun on his heel, "Commander, I cannot tell you how thrilled I am to see you on your road to recovery; we'll be doing everything we can to patch you up and have you back on your feet. It'll take no time at all."
Shepard nodded slowly, "You're right. No time at all," she glanced at Liara, "we're leaving now."
The doctor smiled ingratiatingly; his entire body language changed. He relaxed, held his hands in front of him, fingers interlocked; the picture of the sympathetic and consummate professional "I'm afraid that's impossible Commander; you have just awoken and we have no idea what residual damage might remain. We have a battery of tests to run and then there's the therapy. All for your own good of course- you are, after all, a hero!"
Shepard shrugged a shoulder, "Funny, as I was waking up I heard I was in better shape than at my last physical."
The doctor's smile slipped a fraction of an inch. "I also heard," Shepard continued, "something about killing me."
The security guards blinked, turned and stared at the doctor, the man visibly began to wilt, "It was- I had my orders," like a mantra the words seemed to give the man back some resolve. "No, I'm sorry. It's impossible; you must remain."
Shepard replied, "I insist."
Liara's flesh lit with the glow of gathering biotic power. The hard blue light snapped and roiled over her skin throwing stark shadows across the wall. The doctor stepped back towards the door, "Don't just stand there, " he shouted at the guards. "Arrest those two!"
Garrus reached out and flung a friendly arm around each of the guards, "Sounds like an excellent idea; let's arrest Garrus Vakarian, close friend of the current turian Primarch who also happens to be one of the heroes of the Reaper War; not only that but let's also arrest Dr. Liara T'Soni, herself a hero of the Reaper War and Commander Shepard's partner, speaking of which let's also keep the recently recovered greatest of heroes prisoner in the hospital all on the authority of the doctor who was under orders to kill Commander Shepard not half an hour ago."
He squeezed the two men closer like old friends and loudly whispered, "Tell me gentlemen, does the term: bowel shattering, cluster-fuck mean anything to you?"
They stepped out the front door of the hospital onto a large paved area. White buildings, solid, heavy, fortified, ran around the perimeter of a large open space. Around them groups of soldiers ran in formation. Several transports idled as other soldiers and not a few civilian workers loaded and unloaded cargo. High up in the sky several warships hovered over the base, their large shadows sliding across the pavement slowly. A squadron of short range fighters, engines blazing, ripped across the sky underneath the larger vessels. Beyond them the buildings grew in height and complexity stretching away until they faded to the horizon. The tarmac ended what looked several kilometers away, opening up to a vast stretch of blue water, still and quiet.
"Bowel shattering?" Shepard arched an eyebrow. She was dressed in a standard fleet outfit. Heavy blue pants, work shirt with the sleeves rolled up and a cap, none of the articles of clothing reflected her actual rank but it was the only clothes that she was willing to accept from the hospital's hasty donations.
Garrus held up in hands, "Not my fault. I got it from your collection."
Shepard stopped mid-stride, "You touched my collection?" she said with a dangerous edge to her voice.
Liara, who had been walking beside her answered for the turian, "We both did. It was...a difficult time, you were here and yet not. When he visited he noticed I had all your things from the Normandy; it was his idea to watch them," she broke off, reached out blindly and took Shepard's hand.
"Thought it would help us remember the better moments," Garrus finished.
Shepard just squeezed Liara's hand in response, then smiled sadly, "Driven to such an extreme where you willingly used my bad movie collection for comfort? Desperate times."
"Honestly though, I do not think I will ever understand your obsession with those movies of yours. What did you call them?"
"B Movies," Shepard replied grinning. "Hey, everyone has to have a hobby."
She glanced around, "Where are we?"
Liara said, "Japan, the country was spared comparatively. No one's sure why but The Reapers came in, took out all the air and sea power Japan had and moved on. The leading theory is they believed the island would act as a natural prison, no need to increase the body count with such a large population in a relatively small landmass. The infrastructure is largely intact. The Alliance moved their central government here and has been supervising the reconstruction from Tokyo ever since."
Reaching out, Garrus pulled the brim of Shepard's cap low, concealing half of the Spectre's face in shadow. "You want to keep a low profile," he said.
"Considering you are the single most famous sentient ever, your first day back on your feet would be more relaxed without the-" he cut himself mid-sentence then finished. "Fans."
"Fans?" Shepard asked. "I have fans?"
"Yes," Liara replied. "By now, every living thing knows your name and face, Shepard."
Shepard paused and her companions slowed, turning toward her. "I've been avoiding the issues," Shepard admitted slowly. "But how long have I been-" and then she wobbled, her knees gave out and she started to fall. Her instincts wanted her to move, arrest her downward plunge by flinging out her hands and intercept the rapidly approaching concrete but they wouldn't listen; then two pairs of hands came into her field of vision for a split second and her plunge was halted.
"Got you," Garrus weezed.
"Shepard, are you all right?" Liara demanded.
Shifting her weight in their shared grip to test her legs, Shepard nodded. "Yeah, yeah I think I'm ok-" for the second time biology interrupted her. This time it was a very loud growl from her stomach. She grinned sheepishly, "You wouldn't happen to know where we can get a burger?"
"Remind me how you lived long enough to bring an end to an enemy that had been habitually raining genocide on this entire galaxy for millions of years?" Garrus asked eyeing Shepard's tray.
On a plate sat the most obscene amalgamation of ground beef, grease, onions, grease and apparently a detonated salad bar, with extra grease. Around the edge of the plate was a sizable mound of fries, drowning miserably in ketchup.
As Shepard took her first bite of the burger her eyes rolled back in bliss, she swallowed her bite, remarked, "I've been needing this for so long," and took another massive chunk out of her burger.
Liara cautiously took one of the fries and nibbled on the end of it, raising both eyebrows she bit off the top half. Chewing she said, "These have a simple flavor but I find them enjoyable," she finished the fry. "But I do not understand what connection they have, either socially or anthropologically with the country of France."
They were seated at a table in the far corner of tiny restaurant five minutes or so by foot from the hospital. Shepard had asked for a greasy spoon which, surprisingly Liara had understood. Garrus announced he knew a place though he did think a better term would have been 'a greasy everything'. The restaurant itself was small, tucked on a street corner taking up the ground floor of a taller building. The rest of the building was abandoned for the most part. Shepard had seen signs of repair work: replaced windows, scaffolds, large mounts of storage crates but had noted that for the most part it looked reasonably intact. They had taken seats in a far corner of the restaurant, directly opposite the entrance with their backs to the wall. Shepard's food had arrived quickly with both Liara and Garrus declining any for themselves up until Liara had stolen a french fry.
"I don't get understand something," Shepard stated, she took a sip of her drink, "I barely see any war damage. No rubble or wreckage anywhere. Hell, what little construction I have seen seems more day-to-day stuff. Road repair, window cleaning," another sip, "That has me wondering-"
Garrus interrupted, "One of the first things that was salvaged from The Reapers had a lot to do with it. Turns out The Crucible, you could say, fried their brains. Their bodies were mostly intact and what production points that had been built were untouched."
Shepard allowed the conversation to be railroaded, she trusted Garrus, "Production points?"
Garrus' voice turned grim, "Interment camps. Reprocessing. Where they made their armies, Shepard. Where they took our people and turned them into weapons."
He looked away for a moment. "I personally led the liberation efforts for a few of them on Earth right after London and then around a dozen on Palavan. Not fun," he shook his head. "But we got the survivors out all right and made a hell of a discovery in the bargain."
"Some see it as a bargain with the devil," Liara murmured around another fry.
"I can see it that way," Garrus replied. "But can you imagine the reconstruction efforts without it? What's been done so far might have taken centuries and in addition the races are still working together not focusing on just their own reconstruction projects and possibly even fighting over new resources."
"Care to fill me in?" Shepard asked quietly.
"Right, sorry," Garrus crossed one leg over the other and looked up, staring into space. "The Reapers used nano-tech, Shepard. Similar to your implants but far, far more advanced. From what little I understand their real ...some say potential...is still far beyond us but what didn't take long was some simple blunt work reprogramming."
Liara continued, "What he means is within a very short time the races learned how to program the nanos to basically recycle the the destroyed materials. It was no longer necessary to clear away rubble or clean up wreckage, the nanos would break it down into separate elements and reassemble them into a form that could be used for reconstruction itself. Near one-hundred percent recycling really."
"Wait," Shepard put down her burger, her eyes hard. "The entire galaxy is using Reaper-tech? Every civilized world is allowing pretty much untraceable, Reaper-based machines that can pull anything apart atom by atom to do as they see fit?"
"No, no," Liara said quickly. "There were very careful studies done. Everything was performed in perfect isolation at the beginning- controlled laboratories, airless moons for example and many people, Garrus and myself among them, voiced similar concerns...but..."
Garrus finished for her, "But then the races started falling apart. There were more than a few near misses that could have triggered another war. That damn merc army that Aria put together, turned out they had a lot of access to resources for reconstruction. Illegal mines, stockpiles, stolen hardware, mechs that could be used as a labor force, even slaves for the less physical work. And they offered it to any race willing to pay their prices," he sighed. "The turians considered it. It was damn close, I managed to convince The Primarch not to go through with it but it was a near thing."
"The Batarians had no trouble accepting the offer, I even got reports that they were given a discount," and Liara laughed bitterly. "Bulk rates."
"It gets better," Garrus said, "The Galactic market was in ruins and the Volus were not willing to assist in its reestablishment unless their worlds got priority in the reconstruction despite the fact that other worlds, like Earth, Palavan or Thessia needed to rebuild their infrastructures much more urgently."
Shepard shot him a glance, "Never thought you'd play favorites, Garrus."
He shrugged, "It's just the facts. Remember what you said about cold, hard numbers on The Normandy? More of our worlds were devastated than the Volus' worlds."
Shepard considered that and had to agree, "I get it. I hate it but I get it."
She nibbled at her food but her heart, nor stomach, were really in it any more, "Any other brights spots?"
"The Citadel," Liara said."
"What about it?"
"It moved back to The Serpent Nebula."
"By itself," Garrus added.
"And the bad news?" Shepard asked.
"Ah, she's figured out how the galaxy works," Garrus said, raising an eyebrow. "Yes, the bad news is the arms closed and sealed themselves shut. Attempts have been made to cut a way in but whatever The Citadel is made of has made that near impossible."
He shrugged, "Blowing a hole in the damn thing could work, but it would take a lot of concentrated effort and there's a real chance that it could cause permanent damage, maybe even destroy The Citadel."
"Don't forget the survivors," Liara said.
"Survivors?" Shepard started. "On The Citadel?"
"The Reapers only held The Citadel for a few days," Liara explained. "And that was just to keep it from the other races. The most popular theory is that they didn't have time to purge the station of all the millions of people stranded," she rested her hand on Shepard's, "It is only a popular theory though."
"It was decided that things were falling apart faster than they could be put back together," Liara went on. "So focus was put on understanding and using The Reapers own technology to assist in the reconstruction."
Garrus chuckled, clasping his hands in front of him, he stared at Shepard, his eyes unblinking. "You have to love the irony. The Reapers came to harvest all advanced life in the galaxy and now here we are, harvesting them."
The victors will harvest from the destroyed and grow stronger so as to face what is. As our time ends your people will harvest us. Learn from us, grow from us. Perhaps you will turn your new-found strength upon each other. That is acceptable. The victors will grow stronger from that still.
Shepard put her burger down, nausea crawled through her guts and she could feel harsh bile suddenly churning at the back of her throat. She swallowed with difficulty.
"Shepard?" Liara asked. "What is it? You've turned pale."
"Nothing," Shepard denied and stopped herself. "No, its something, but later. I want to- I need to get back on track. It can wait till then," she squeezed Liara's hand, "It'll keep, trust me."
Reluctantly Liara nodded in reply but did not let go of Shepard either, "Each world worked together to insure using the nanotechnology was safe with the most basic of tasks and after-" she paused and amended. "A time it was decided to allow the Reaper-tech to be used. After that reconstruction accelerated accordingly. In fact the greatest challenge now is not the procurement of resources but the transportation of those resources to where they are most needed. Sadly, this solution is only viable for bulk construction. Things like technological infrastructure are still in short supply. But progress is being made."
Shepard nodded and said nothing. The silence stretched between them as if by some unspoken agreement everyone knew what was coming, how hard it would be for them all and had agreed by silent consensus to let Shepard get it started.
"A short time," Shepard said quietly. "Much longer, a time, a few near misses; you've both been very careful not to state any specifics. You could be talking about weeks, months," she blinked and forced herself to continue. "Years even."
Shepard stopped, looked down breathing deeply, one breath, two, three and she continued, "What I'm trying to say is, I need to know; how long was I, dead again, I guess."
Liara sighed and rubbed at her temples, "This is going to be hard Shepard. Please remember that it is not anyones fault and that I am here-"
"We're here," Garrus added. "Well, until I'm not. Duties to Palavan etc. etc."
"The truth is that it's been-"
And then Garrus looked up, muttered "Oh damn," and them bahhed like a sheep.
The effect was instantaneous; Liara reached over, grabbed the brim of Shepard's hat and pulled it down, hard, effectively concealing the Commander's face. Then she leaned forward, put her elbows on the table and covered her face with her hands- as if she was suddenly very tired. Beneath the lowered edge of the brim Shepard could see a trio of figures moving through the restaurant, she noted how they would stop at random tables, smiling warmly, exchange a few words with the diners before moving on. They were coming closer and with every step Garrus grew visibly more relaxed and disinterested while Liara worked harder to conceal her face in her hands.
"Greetings brother-turian," said the person leading the trio. Shepard examined him from beneath the brim of her hat. He was tall, a bit thin. His jumpsuit was a nondescript grey with dark blue overalls on over it. He had thinning hair and an irritating smile, his hands were in front of him, palms together as if in prayer. The two others looked similar, both in what they were wearing and how they presented themselves. "Have you heard the good wo-"
"I'm really sorry," Garrus interrupted. "But as I keep telling you I'm not interested. Thanks for the offer though."
He folded his arms, leaning back in his chair emphasizing his point. The human continued to smile, "another time," he turned to Shepard. Just as he opened his mouth Shepard picked up her burger and took a massive bite and began to chew loudly. Holding the burger just right covered everything but her eyes and the noises from her chewing prevented real conversation; smoothly the man focused his attention on Liara- and froze.
"You!" he hissed between suddenly clenched teeth. Liara visibly wilted. "The cyan wolf-bitch!"
And Shepard saw red. Part of her idly commented that this was pretty much unfamiliar behavior as she held the man off the ground, one hand wrapped around his throat, while his two companions gawked. Her arm was trembling with the effort of holding the man up and the idea of her being weak repulsed her. She wanted more, more power, more strength and ...something... obeyed. A surge of power rippled along the length of her spine. The trembling stopped cold and she knew all the way to her core that one tiny squeeze would snap his neck.
"What did you say?" Shepard asked dangerously, quietly.
He kicked at her, she slapped his efforts away, he grabbed her arm and she ignored it with contempt, he looked her in the face...
"Goddess!" he gurgled and his two companions, who had been fluttering around the edges uselessly stared at her.
The fell on their knees before Shepard, "Forgive us, my lady!" the one on the right cried.
"We did not realize-" the other began and then broke off in a fit of hysterical sobbing.
Shepard stared at them, her eyes shifting from the man she held aloft, to the weeping one, to the one mumbling rapidly under her breath and then Liara was there, "Shepard," she said sharply and loudly. "Let him-" and her mouth snapped shut.
"Oh boy," Garrus muttered standing up. "Here we go."
Everyone else in the diner had stopped what they were doing and turned to watch the action- fights were not uncommon in these hard times and entertainment rare but at Liara's very loud use of Shepard's name all hell broke loose.
With various cries of "It is her!" "Can I have your autograph?" "Let me take a picture of-" and a many, many more demands, praises, pleas and offers, the people surged forward. Garrus moved to intercept and was roughly shoved out of the way. Shepard took a step back, absently dropping the man who a few seconds before had been the focus of her attention.
He landed with an audible "Oof" but wasting no time he scrambled to his feet.
"Go!" he commanded one of his companions. "Inform the others of this days events!"
The third companion, the one who was not sobbing hysterically leaped to her feet and forced her way through the crowd, running through the entrance and down the street shouting all the while, "She wakes! She walks among us once again! The Goddess has returned! The Shepard lives again!"
The crowd surged forward, a cacophony of voices raised in greetings, celebration, request, and other cries. She could make out snatches of words here and there, "thank you so-" "My children are ali-" "Saved us all-" and the mass was so full of excited faces, a seething mass of limbs and colors, civilian, military, young and old, male and female. Hands reaching, palms extended, welcoming, embracing and all she could see was a thing that was made of 'take'.
Shepard knew they were just people, people she had sworn to protect, to save and now she was the one who needed saving from the people; her instincts were screaming again, a red hue suffused her vision and something inside her demanded more. The reaction was like an adrenalin rush- the seething mass of people slowed down, or appeared to but it still wasn't enough. Somehow she needed 'More!' With the command given everything snapped to a near standstill and she saw the way out. It was through the crowd of course, people would probably get hurt but what other option was there? Her fists itched, a need for violence sang inside, thrummed deep and heavy and-
Garrus pulled the fire alarm.
A loud alarm bell started ringing. "Fire! Fire! Get out while you can! Go! Go!" Garrus shouted loudly indicting the proper direction. What had been a crowd of people became a rout as they all made a break for the entrance and away from the imagined threat. In a moment the restaurant was empty save for the three of them.
"I think we had better go," Liara said moving toward the entrance herself.
A moment later they were walking away from the eatery casually but with no small amount of haste. After a few minutes to lose themselves in the crowd Shepard said, "You're going to get in trouble."
Garrus put a hand to his chest, "I'll have you know that I am a very important person," his mandibles twitched. "Diplomatic immunity has its perks."
"And they did push you," Liara added. "Clearly they represented a threat to your person. You were only protecting yourself."
"Through non-violent means," Garrus nodded. "I'm getting pretty good at diplomacy."
"How long?" Shepard said, crushing any frivolity in the conversation flat.
Liara reached out her hand but Shepard twitched away. "No. How long was I-" she stopped herself. "I'm sorry, Liara. Just- I wake up. I learn that The Alliance wanted me dead, and then all this other-" she waved a hand helplessly.
"Not here," Liara said in understanding. "I've been given an apartment. We can go there, it's not far."
They sat in a tiny living room. It was rather spartan but clean. Cracks in the plaster were the only decoration to be found. The furniture itself was plain but functional. An L-shaped sofa took up one side of the room with two other large chairs opposite and a small table taking up the center of the room. The sun had begun to set by the time the three of them arrived, Liara turned on a few lamps set on tables in the corner. The room was cast in a soft orange glow as the lights bounced off the pale walls casting gentle contrasting pools of illumination and shadow.
Shepard sat on the sofa, Liara a short distance away but not next to her. Garrus was in one of the chairs. No one said anything. The two aliens were watching Shepard closely. The human sat rigidly, upright. Her back straight, knees together and her face an expressionless mask.
"Two years?" she said again.
"Roughly eighteen months to tell the truth," Garrus corrected.
"Seventeen months, twenty-nine days," Liara said softly. Shepard glanced at her; the asari was staring at her hands clasped in her lap. "I counted."
"I was dead?"
"They claim so," Garrus went on. "We found you at the base of the beam, Liara and me. We did what we could but," his shrug communicated volumes. "I called in an airlift, medical emergency but there was still so much chaos. They got there, but it was awhile."
He shifted his attention to Liara, "she wouldn't leave you."
Shepard nodded, looking at the table, but not seeing it. "I think I remember hearing something like that. Didn't someone call you a..."
"Blue bitch," Liara said still looking at her hands then she sighed. "I was hurting, hysterical I guess."
"Guess?" Garrus asked. "They had to sedate you, Liara. I was physically restraining you while terrified you were going to toss me through a wall."
The asari took in a shuddering breath, "That- Yes."
Garrus held up his hands, "Issue resolved. We had this talk already."
"Of course," Liara said. "It's just a hard thing to remember. But I'm not important now."
Shepard moved even closer, "Yes you are," then she said, "so then I died? Again?"
Liara took another deep breath, "You tell it Garrus, I- I'm going to get something to drink. Would you like anything? Shepard?"
"Anything with alcohol," Garrus replied. "That won't kill me of course."
Shepard shook her head.
Liara stood up and moved into a tiny kitchenette in the corner of the apartment and opened a primitive refrigerator as Garrus continued.
"We waited for two days, that's how long it took for someone to get back to us, can't blame anyone really. They were still mopping up the remaining Reaper infantry. Whatever you did wiped out the Reapers themselves but the ground troops just went berserk. Turning on each other and everything else around them. I took out a brute that was engaged in mortal combat with a park bench," he paused as if recollecting, "funny thing- I think the the bench was winning."
Shepard snickered quietly but didn't say anything leaving Garrus no choice but to fill the silence with the rest of the story.
"Anyhow, after two days we were told they had done everything they could and according to their best estimates you were clinically brain dead. Liara refused to believe it of course and demanded to see you," Garrus' mandibles flickered again in humor. "Poor doctor never knew what hit him."
Shepard's eyebrows went up, "she used biotics?"
"No, she hit him, one punch, " Garrus made a twirling gesture. "Bam, he was down. The next doctor was a bit less...reticent."
"She didn't get in trouble?"
"I don't think she gave a damn," Garrus said. "I don't know what she did when she went in to see you, I stayed outside to watch the door but when she came out the first thing she did was head back to the Normandy. Before I knew it, you were being transferred to the most intact hospital on the planet- that would be here," he paused again to consider. "I think that was Alliance Command. Everything was...crazy. We'd won, there were celebrations and others were trying to get the repair work started right away. Some of the fleet wanted to destroy The Reapers corpses; a Batarian battleship was caught trying to tow some to the nearest relay, claimed it was part of their 'cut'."
Liara came back from the kitchen, she placed a small glass of some odd yellow liquid in front of Garrus and held a narrow stemmed flute glass that bubbled.
Garrus nodded his thanks, picked up his drink and went on, "It was after you got here that I think Liara took a hand. Suddenly the hospital was getting flooded with hi-tech equipment and specialists from every species in the fleet arrived."
"That was not all from my efforts," Liara interjected. "Every race was, is, grateful for what Shepard had done and wanted to pay her, pay you, back."
She took a sip of her drink, "The end result though was the consensus that you...you...damnit," that got Shepard's attention.
"Since when do you swear?" she asked.
Liara smiled a half smile, one corner of her mouth arcing upwards. "I've grown to like that word. It has its uses. Give me a moment, I've never actually talked about this before, just had to live with it."
"I'm sorry, Liara," Shepard said quietly and finally moved all the way across the sofa to sit next to her asari who leaned her head against the human's shoulder and visibly relaxed. "Not your fault."
"But I was dead," Shepard repeated. "Right?"
"It was...a puzzle," Liara said. "Your brain activity was much higher than usual, everyone agreed on that but all the parts of your mind had the exact same level of activity at all times and there was no response to outside stimuli. The only physical operations left were your heart, lungs and digestion."
"So they called it 'Braindead'," Garrus finished.
"Then they tried to kill me," Shepard stated quietly. "I could use that drink now."
The small table in the middle of the living room was covered with empty glasses, outside the night was deep and heavy. Waiting.
"I should have asked this earlier, " Shepard said breaking the silence again. She sat in the corner of the sofa, her legs curled beneath her, head resting on the back. In one hand she held an empty glass, the other was stretched far enough so she and Liara could grasp hands. The last few rounds had been drunk in quiet. "What happened to the rest of my crew?"
"Short version?" Garrus asked. "All alive, believe it or not. Not all together whole and hearty but alive."
"Vega lost an eye," Liara said. "I did what I could to get him a adequate replacement but I lost track of him. Ashley as well. Last I heard she was sent to assist in the rebuilding of Eden Prime."
"Tali headed back to Ranoch," Garrus added.
"What about you two?" Shepard asked.
"I was there," Garrus replied. "But I was ordered to return to Earth a few weeks ago. Some sort of negotiation thing. It was boring, I'm heading back tomorrow actually. I can stay though-"
"No," Shepard shook her head. "You miss her and I'm willing to bet she misses you."
"Probably just my body," Garrus hedged, Shepard grinned. "But still, Shepard, she'd understand if-"
"She knows," Liara said. "I sent messages to everyone a few hours ago."
"Ah," Garrus said. "Then, if I was a betting man, and I am, I predict she's on her way here. Which will make things convenient."
"And the others?" Shepard pressed.
"Javvik vanished," Liara said. "Last I saw he said his vengeance was finished. He said goodbye, that he'd be in touch and just walked away. This was still in London. I haven't heard from him since."
Garrus said, "She was the last who saw him too."
Shepard stretched, "Getting a little tired," she grumbled. "EDI? Joker?"
"Still on The Normandy," Liara replied tipping the last of her drink back and swallowing. She pretended not notice Shepard watching her move. "I can find out their current assignment if you like, I think Traynor is still on board as well."
She put her drink on the very edge of the table, that was all the room there was, "She had strong feelings for you," she said to Shepard.
"Noticed that did you?" Shepard asked. "I havn't been crushed on in- well-"
Liara blinked slowly, smiled a tiny bit and pressed on, "I'd like to think I was a bit more sophisticated in my interest than a mere crush, but no Shepard. It was no crush. A few days after you were moved here she showed up."
Shepard sat up, "Oh boy."
"She was hurting of course," Liara continued. "We all were but she came, well...actually she came to offer me comfort. True, she broke down when she saw you but- well, she talked to me. Asked questions, head stories, offered a few of her own," again Liara smiled at a memory and then lay her head on Shepard's thigh. Rolling onto her back she looked up at Shepard. "Apparently you confused real world tactics with chess strategy."
Shepard groaned, "Lose one game of chess."
"Jack's still teaching; Earthside, though. Grissom hasn't been rebuilt yet," Garrus said. "Not sure what happened to Jacob, got a card when his son was a born."
"A son?" Shepard replied. "I'm happy for him."
But she was lying.
"Zaed? Kasumi?"
"Gone," Garrus answered. "They visited, paid their respects and went back to whatever they did before the war."
She was just going through the motions.
"Miranda?"
"She's here," Liara said. "On the base, you'll probably see her tomorrow."
There was a hole.
And she couldn't stand it anymore.
"Excuse me," Shepard shifted her weight, Liara sat up. "Have to use the bathroom."
"Through there," Liara pointed to a door at the other end of the room.
Shepard opened the door and found herself in a tiny bedroom. The double-bed took almost the entire space. A wall-closet was half open on the right with a enough room for one person to squeeze by the bed to get to it. A door led off to the left and there was the bathroom.
She put her weight on the edge of the sink and stared at her reflection. Her face felt fake, she poked her cheeks with one finger almost imagining the synthetic things inside her.
Something...changed her implants. They're running in ways no one has ever seen.
How much changed? Eighteen months worth of change. What did that even mean.
You did good, child. You did good.
"I don't feel that way, sir," she said to the air. She ran some water in the sink, let it run over her hands and watched as it followed the contours of her skin; beading here, rushing there. The flow of water splitting around some unseen imperfection in her flesh. She could imagine that clean, blue water rushing through her- washing away the machines, purging her, cleaning her inside and out.
She remembered the cerulean sea.
She remembered being safe and not ever wanting it to end.
And she hated herself for it.
She reentered the living room. The others had cleared the table and were talking in the kitchen.
"-something's really wrong," Garrus was saying. "She's overloaded. First day up and bam, right into The Flock."
"And waking up to hearing how your own government was a just moments away from ending your life," Liara added.
"Concerned about me?" Shepard asked.
Friends would have looked ashamed, friends would have tried to find excuses for being caught out, friends would have denied it; comrades-in-arms, loved ones, family, didn't do that.
"Yes," Garrus said plainly.
Shepard held up a hand, "I appreciate it Garrus but I'm okay, really."
"You will be," Garrus agreed putting his hand on her shoulder, firm. Supportive. She let it, it might mean something someday. "But you're not now."
"I'll be-," she began.
"Save it," Garrus put a little authority in his voice, she recognized the tone- she had used it often enough. "You've always put others first, Shepard. There was good reason at the time but that's over now. You've done what you set out to do."
"Don't patronize me, Garrus," Shepard warned, only half-joking.
"Who's patronizing?" He shrugged, looking innocent- a feat considering how expressive turians were. "Look, Shepard, the war over. Now you don't have to worry about anyone but yourself. So worry, talk, share," he paused. "That or drink yourself blind."
"What? And risk losing to you on the next time we're The Citadel?
"I could be drunk, blind, standing on one leg and the out of ammunition and I'd still beat you Shepard."
"That sounds like a story," Liara murmured, she had come behind Shepard and embraced her. She felt the human, her human, stiffen then force herself to relax.
"I-" Shepard tried. Then she, almost against her will she turned her head and saw Liara. Saw those blue, blue eyes. She took a breath, then another and without looking away she dove into the sea.
"Okay," she blinked. "Okay, I will."
"Then on that note," Garrus said, stretching. "I'm out."
"What about talking?" Shepard asked, she knew the answer but...
"I think that's covered," Garrus leaned forward toward Shepard, his eyes intent, the message clear;
Talk to her!
They returned to the living room and Garrus opened the front door, stepped through, turned back, "I met what I said in the hospital, Shepard. It really sucks I have to pay you your poker winnings." and then he was gone, the door shutting with a quiet click.
Shepard sat down with a groan and pushed her palms over her eyes. She could hear Liara moving around the sofa, making as little noise as possible- the silence, it had weight, she imagined giant, invisible, springs tightening; the creak of metal under stress, she could feel it inside her mind. She could feel Liara standing in front of her, the warmth, the softness and the anxiety. It poured off her like a miasma.
"Shepard?" The asari asked quietly. Shepard opened her mouth to reply and the words died in her mouth. She heard Liara take another breath, a fortifying breath and then she said, "Love?"
The springs snapped; Shepard's arms shot out she pulled Liara into a tight embrace, burying her face in the asari's shirt. The suddenness of the move must have startled Liara for it was a few seconds before Shepard felt the gentle caress of her hand's, her fingers, moving through Shepard's hair.
Shepard clung to her, her fingers splayed against Liara's back, arms squeezing, moving resettling and tightening again, her nose squashed uncomfortably against the asari's firm belly but she didn't care- she wanted to, she needed to feel- something. Anything. Through it all Liara made gentle, comforting sounds, a whispered word here, a shushing sound there and her fingers never stopped moving; tracing a lock of her from root to to its end, the other fingers moving, sliding caressing along Shepard's skin, pressure, gentle pressure sending tiny sparks of sensation through her mind.
But she didn't cry. She could feel the push, the cascade right behind her eyes but she held it back. Maybe later but not now. In her time, not in its time. She insisted, she forced, she fought- she won. The impulse eased and with a sigh Shepard leaned back; Liara made to follow, her asked her question with a look and Shepard pattered her lap in agreement. Liara sat on the comfortable seat of Shepard's thighs while Shepard snaked one arm around her shoulder, the other behind her knees and cradled her asari close.
One started to rock the other- neither was sure which had begun. Had Shepard started rocking Liara? Or had Liara begun to rock then Shepard moved in conjunction? It didn't matter, it was a comfort.
And in that comfort they remained. Through open windows they could hear life continue on; on the street below someone was shouting, whether in celebration or outrage was impossible to tell. The sky hummed with shuttles and other transports. For a handful of minutes the air rumbled gently as high overhead a capital ship eased into the upper atmosphere, leaving the night-side of Earth for the ever-night of outer-space. Dogs barked, people laughed, far, far away somewhere a siren wailed into earshot then faded away, the echo bouncing around the buildings and back into relative quiet.
Life went on.
The world lived.
"Anderson's dead," Shepard said, and it was like hearing glass shatter.
Liara said nothing.
"The brass assumed as much?" Shepard asked.
Sitting up slightly Liara replied, "He was listed as MIA, there was a ceremony. He was honored."
"When?"
"Several weeks after the war ended."
Shepard nodded, looked away, eased her arm out from under Liara's legs and wiped at her eyes with the back of her hand, she did not release her embrace however.
"For me, he died just a few hours ago," Liara said nothing, perhaps she wanted to, perhaps she didn't.
"I shot him."
The asari's sharp intake of breath was her only response.
"It-" Shepard broke off, pinched the bridge of her nose.
Look at the power they wield, look what they can do!
"It was the Illusive Man," Shepard continued. "He'd ...done something to himself. He believed it would give him power and it did. He was able to control me, control my hand, my fingers."
She examined her palm, remembered the weight of the gun in her hand, the burst of actual terror, shattering through her as she felt her finger squeeze the trigger not of her own will. The way Anderson's body had jerked but he had not fallen, could not fall because The Illusive Man would not allow it- and how close, how close she had come to screaming.
"Shepard," Liara breathed, a hand, gentle, soft, caressing her cheek. She could feel the blue.
"I killed him," Shepard said. "He got...upset. Angry. I think I made him believe he had been indoctrinated. It gave me a chance and I shot him."
"Then you opened the arms of The Citadel?"
Shepard nodded dumbly, the memories swimming through her mind like yesterday because for her they had been yesterday. She had killed her mentor yesterday, she had ended the war yesterday, she stopped the Reapers yesterday, she had been dying yesterday, she had died yesterday.
And it was today. Eighteen months later and it was only today.
She tried to push them back again, tried to push the need away, the prickling behind her eyes grew, she pushed back, she fought again, she even tried to get angry but this time-
-she lost.
"I left him behind!" and she cried.
And the words came out, a flowing, endless tide, inter-spaced with choked out, fought over and lost cracks of grief, fought and lost; again and again, she fought and she lost and through it all Liara cradled Shepard to her breast, holding her, holding on, weathering it, weathering her, moving through it, moving with it, waiting for it to pass; waiting for her.
And when the time was right, she asked a question, knowing it was a dangerous thing to do, but it was the only thing to do.
"And then what happened?"
Shepard wiped at her nose awkwardly, trying not to mess Liara's shirt. "I uh...what?"
"And then what happened?" Liara repeated patiently.
"After, uh, after I opened the doors, I...we were sitting on a … and there was the fleets all around us. We could see everything. He, Anderson, called it a hell of a view. I remember the Earth, hanging there behind all these ships, all this death..." Shepard remembered. "It was so blue."
Liara touched her forehead to Shepard's, her eyes closed, "Keep going," she whispered.
"He- he told me he- he thought I'd make a good mother," Shepard's sob cracked, mutating into a strangled giggle.
"Keep going," Liara whispered again.
"Told me he was proud of me," a great shuddering breath, another. "called me 'child.'
Liara held her tight, it was almost over.
Shepard seemed to pull into herself, "Then he died."
"Sshhhhh," Liara comforted, and this time she was the one doing the rocking. Easing back and forth, even while sitting in Shepard's lap, now she cradled Shepard against her chest, her soldier resting in the crux between shoulder and neck, breathing deeply, breathing slowly, rocking and Liara hummed. She hummed tuneless memories; she sang gentle songs of Thessia, songs her mother had sung to her, melodies of earth and sky; humming again, songs she had heard or remembered from half-forgotten memory- their source unknown, their words forgotten, the music remaining; she hummed, she sung, she rocked all the while Shepard was quiet, listening, breathing, living.
"Then Harbinger appeared," Shepard's voice was muffled but the quiet, flat tone chilled her, still she rocked.
She kept rocking as Shepard told her the rest; of Harbinger's words, his declaration, about The Cycle, The Crucible. How she had forced herself back to the beam. She told Liara of dying on Earth. How Harbinger had been there as well.
"It said I'd never know peace," Shepard intoned. "It called me Harbinger; I didn't care then. You were there."
"You kept your promise," Liara whispered. "I'm sorry."
And they were quiet again.
"It was cerulean," Shepard said, still embracing, still embraced. "The water and sky, where I was for eighteen months, it was blue, cerulean blue."
"Tell me," Liara replied.
Shepard pulled back far enough so she could see Liara, look into her eyes; she reached up and cupped Liara's face in her palms. "The sea was blue, the sky matched it perfectly and I couldn't see where one ended or the other began."
Liar turned her face, pressing her lips against Shepard's palm, not looking away, not breaking the connection.
"I- I felt safe there, Liara. I didn't want to come back, I didn't ever think, I was just there but- if I had had a choice...I felt so safe." she closed her eyes, brought her hands away from her asari's face, anticipating the rejection.
She felt Liara straighten up slowly, Shepard pulled away, knowing that soon that comfortable weight would lift itself away, and instead she heard the rustle of clothes. She opened her eyes to see Liara pulling her shirt over her head. She then stood up and without a word, she unbuckled the clasp of her pants; they fell to the floor without a sound, bunching gracelessly at her feet, to prove a perfect counterpoint to the moment, Liara's single step out of them was grace itself. She stood before Shepard, completely nude. Her skin, normally a uniform blue, now in this dark room, seemed to shift hue, from the blue Shepard loved, to deep purples in shadow, midnight blues and cerulean. Like the sea.
"Liara?" Shepard. "What-?"
Her asari smiled, it blossomed across her features, wide, warm, comfort. "Come with me," Liara replied holding out her hands. "We can be safe."
Shepard reached out to her.
They lay facing each other on Liara's bed.
There bodies touching.
Fingers intertwined.
Legs intertwined.
Breathing.
"Liara," Shepard began.
"Love."
"I told...it...the machine, I had one regret, one thing I wished I could have done differently."
"Go on."
"I only told you I loved you once."
Liara kissed her; closed her eyes and when she opened them again ebon glittered.
"Embrace-" and Shepard's fingers on her lips interrupted her.
"Not eternity," Shepard whispered. "Just you."
Liara's smile again, that smile, it told her of the sea.
"Embrace me."