The Leftovers

"You know, they say that Rome wasn't built in a day."

II.

Later, she would wonder if she'd still been drunk when she stumbled into the kitchen around noon, mechanically toasted and jellied a piece of bread, and started eating it while crouched under the table like a paranoid chipmunk. At the time, it had all made perfect sense, but after she dozed off against one of the legs and woke up in a queasy haze, the logic escaped her.

It wasn't until after this adventure that she remembered that she'd promised Naruto she'd be at his daughter's birthday, and—she checked the time—she was already quite late. She stared at her watch for a moment or two before this sunk in completely, and she sprung into action, trying to ignore the dull throbbing in her head and the lingering nausea.

There was definitely no time for a shower; too bad she was so filthy. She washed her face, changed her clothes, and brushed her hair quickly. A glimpse in the mirror told her that she looked decent—or at least, as decent as a woman with a hangover could. It would have to do. Sakura hoped she didn't smell too bad—a fresh layer of deodorant and a quick spray of perfume would have to suffice. She almost forgot her gift as she rushed out the door.

Half an hour later, a panting Sakura knocked on her friend's door. The short trip had been a harder one than she remembered. She was never drinking again.

It was Hinata who answered with a smile. "Sakura! There you are! We were starting to worry!"

Sakura tried her best to look pleasant. "Sorry I'm late," she said, and she held out her present like some kind of offering.

Hinata, graceful as always, took the gift with a smile. "Thank you. I'm sure Hikari will love it. Come in?"

Sakura followed her quietly, glad that the party was a quiet one. She didn't think she could handle noise right now. She should've stayed in bed. Sure, she'd promised Naruto she'd come, but a bowl of Ramen and all would be forgiven, and… when had the sun gotten so bright? She shielded her tender eyes.

Everyone was gathered outside, clustered in twos or three, for the most part chatting about polite, dull things. Sakura surveyed the yard with a frown.

She almost continued following Hinata, but she noticed that the other woman was making her way over to Tenten and wisely steered away. Both expecting themselves (Hinata was on her second child now), conversations recently had see-sawed between the best baby names and (her favorite), "Oh, Sakura, when are you going to have one of your own?"

She peered about the yard, looking for other prospects. Naruto, Sai, Lee, Gai, and Kakashi—good heaven, Kakashi had beaten her to the party—were talking about recent missions, which was normally the topic she would've chosen if not for the ever-enthusiastic combination of Lee and Gai. Not good for a hangover at all. Naruto noticed her and waved. Shikamaru and Temari were completely absorbed in one-another, like new couples were wont to do, while Ino shot them dark looks around her newest beau. Shino and Kiba seemed to be having a private discussion while watching the kids. Choji was busy with the cake.

Sakura found herself a seat near the edge of the yard, where she planted herself to watch the party. She wouldn't come to these stupid things if they weren't the only times she got to see her friends these days.

"You look bored."

She sat up, startled. She'd been drifting off. She was never drinking again.

A shiver of delight passed through her for a moment, and then calmed quickly when she realized it was just her tired mind playing tricks on her. "Neji?"

It was him, most definitely. He looked as well groomed as ever, and she felt a little stab of jealousy. How was it that he managed to look so perfectly? He'd been drinking too, she'd seen it! He didn't look like he was hungover, either. Some people. Shizune never got hangovers, either.

All was forgiven, though, when he held out a glass of water to her. "Here."

She drank it greedily as he pulled up a chair, spilling a bit down her chin. Oops.

"How are you doing?" he asked, softly enough that it didn't upset her headache but not so softly she couldn't hear him.

"Either I have a hangover from hell," she told him frankly, "or possibly I am still a little bit drunk."

He nodded. "You smell like it, too."

"Oh, God," she groaned. "I'm going to be Aunt Haruno, the Alcoholic!"

"It happens to everyone," he told her blankly. "Honestly, after last night, I am surprised you came."

"I promised Naruto I'd come," she said cautiously, noting that he was being awfully friendly today.

Later, once she'd gotten to know him a bit better, she would realize that this friendliness was a result of his gratitude for someone in his same situation, among other things. Now, though, to her he was still the sadistic fellow who beat up his cousin all those years ago…

She couldn't remember much; what if she'd told him all her darkest secrets? What if she'd told him about that dream, the one with Ino? Or that time in Suna last spring, or…

"You okay?"

'Act casual, Sakura. Casual.' "Yes!" She stiffened as he took a sip of his water. He was acting normally, but she saw the way those pearly eyes of his peered at her over the glass, the way they flicked to Ino briefly as she dragged her boy over to Shikamaru and Temari, the way he looked down at his water with a guilty conscience when she tried to catch his gaze…

"It was only a dream!" she exclaimed. "I swear, I'm not really attracted to Ino like that, it just happened, but not really, and…"

He was looking at her oddly. Okay, she hadn't mentioned that last night. Thank goodness. She allowed herself to relax a hair and went to take a sip of her water, but the glass was already empty, and she ended up looking like an idiot.

"I think," he said, "you are still a little drunk."

She peered at her empty glass. "Me too."

He walked her home like a gentleman should, though he seemed to have lost his talkative edge from earlier. She didn't mind. She was feeling sick again. Plus when he was quiet, he was more like…

"Thank you," she said, fumbling with her lock.

He disappeared without a goodbye.

'That's so like him,' she told herself, but she knew she wasn't referring to Neji at all.

It was two nights later that she found herself staring at the ceiling, unable to sleep. It had been a long day at the hospital. It was always frustrating when everyone decided to go off and get injured simultaneously. Added to that, she'd drawn the short straw and been responsible for telling that man's wife she was a widow now…

She hadn't cried. She had been very, very quiet, completely still for a moment, and walked out of the hospital stiffly. It wouldn't have stood out to Sakura as much as it did if that particular ninja hadn't been so outspoken normally.

Such things happened every day. Death was a part of a ninja's life, and it was a part of a hospital, too. She saw a great deal of it. The thing that bothered her was that on some level, she had been jealous of that grieving woman. She had been jealous of her grief, of her powerful bond with her husband. Sakura wanted that, too. To have such a love… she would like to feel that sadness someday, if it meant that she'd found someone she loved so deeply.

Well, if she wasn't going to sleep…

It was twenty minutes later that she sat down at the bar and ordered her favorite strawberry drink. Making her way to an empty table uncertainly, she peered about the room, not sure what she was looking for until she saw Neji in the far corner, his back to the wall. She suspected he'd picked the seat so he could observe the entire room without using his Byakagun. This table would eventually become their regular meeting place.

"Hey," she said, sitting down.

He nodded at her, but didn't attempt to make further conversation. For a few moments, the two of them sat there in silence, sipping on their drinks. It wasn't an uncomfortable silence; it was a pleasant feeling—she had company, but she could also sit back and think. She didn't get to do that much. Naruto lacked the ability to be quiet, and… there were others with whom silences drew her attention to the inherent coldness of the company.

She had finished her drink, and she began to run her finger around the rim of the glass absently.

She wondered if something were wrong with her, that she had been jealous of that woman. Why would anyone desire such sorrow? Of course, she'd known for years now that she was a real masochist. She could remember days of absolute terror, that he was gone, that she hadn't seen him yet, that they hadn't spoken in a day. She could remember the fear that he wasn't just late, that he really wasn't coming. She could remember waking up from a nightmare that none of it was real.

The most beautiful days have the darkest shadows. For some reason, though, she couldn't seem to remember those, though there had been that ecstatic glee whenever he was at her side, whenever he said her name, whenever he praised her. It hadn't lasted, but it had been beautiful while it had, and he'd made that promise…

Another drink was set in front of her. Only now she noticed that Neji had gone and gotten them both seconds. She thanked him with a smile.

She examined him surreptitiously over her glass. He was nicer than she remembered. He was strong, he was handsome, intelligent. There had been rumors floating around, before Naruto and Hinata had gotten married (how they had convinced her family to go along with the union, she'd never know), that he and his cousin had been engaged. She'd thought it was weird, but apparently it wasn't so rare for families like his to inbreed, especially when a prodigy has been born in the "wrong" branch. She was glad that that marriage hadn't come to pass; he might have been blessed in some areas, but she couldn't imagine Hinata having to put up with that personality. He was so cold…

But he wasn't, not really. He'd just bought her a drink!

'Right, Sakura. That totally redeems him.'

She liked his face when he was thinking, she decided. The way he had that distant look in his eyes, the way he occasionally focused on her… He kept looking as though he were about to speak, and then stopping himself. Could he have something to say to her? Probably about the disgraceful state she'd been in the other day.

It was when she'd finished her third drink that he finally opened his mouth. "The other day…" he began.

Inwardly, she cringed.

"…what were you saying about Ino?"

She shouldn't have come.

CY: Thank you so much for all the comments, guys! I'm really surprised there are so many people into Neji/Saku fics :D I'm also really glad you all liked the fish thing. For the person who asked how old she is: she's probably in her early or mid twenties. This is a little shorter than the last chapter, mostly because I was writing this instead of my essay (oops). Do you think my Neji is okay? I realized about halfway into this chapter that I have no idea how to write him so he's not totally OOC. I'm trying to make him like a friendlier version Sasuke. Expect an update around the end of next week, as I will then be done with finals.