Huge thanks to LOVEPocky for the first email! (Even though I asked her to... *shamed*)

ANYWAY!

From LOVEPocky-san to the Princes of Seigaku:

Dear Ryoma-kun,
Do you like Sakuno-chan? Do you even know who she is?

Echizen R.: The girl with the too-long hair, wobbly hips, and good food? I guess.

Momoshiro T.: Jeez, Echizen. They can't even tell which question you're answering, if at all!

Dear Tezuka-kun,
Why are you always so serious? Don't you ever smile?

Tezuka K.: ...yudan sezu ni ikou.

Inui S.: I have video evidence of Tezuka smiling from episode twenty-six of the OVA and from chapter three hundred seventy-nine of the manga.

Tezuka K.: Inui. One hundred laps. NOW.

Dear Eiji-kun,
Why is there always a band-aid on your cheek? Why do you act like a cat?

Kikumaru E.: Hoi hoi! B-because...? When we were Freshmen, I got hurt during practice, and Oishi-mama never let me take the band-aid off that spot in case it got infected, nya. And when I was little, I was always hanging around the family cat and I guess it became a habit.

Dear Oishi-kun,
Why do you always act like a mom? You're too nice sometimes. Are you ever mean or slightly mean?

Oishi S.: E-eh? Um, I think it's because I was always getting hurt as a small kid and my uncle told me to always be careful for myself and for the sake of others. I'm too nice? I've been told that that isn't the case when it comes to yakiniku...

Momoshiro T.: 'Not the case'? Oishi-sempai, when it comes to meat, you're a YAKINIKU FREAKIN' MAGISTRATE.

Dear Inui-kun,
Why do you make poisonous drinks? When/how in the world does blending in bugs help your work?

Inui S.: Poisonous? Au contraire; my creations are made for the sole purpose of benefitting the team. The ingredients I have included are strange because they are beneficial and they force the members to exert themselves in order to avoid drinking it.

Dear Taka-kun,
How does having a racket give you this BURNING energy?

Kawamura T.: Er, I'm actually not too sure why it does that. I can't even remember what happens when—

Fuji S.: Hai, Taka-san, racket.

Kawamura T.: GREAAAT! Not bad, kid! You've completely stumped me! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Dear Fuji-kun,
Why are you so sadistic? What's so fun about watching people in pain? If you enjoy it so much, why don't you bully people? (Not that I'm encouraging it.)

Fuji S.: I'm not sadistic per se. I simply enjoy the process of inner turmoil leading to epiphanous internal moments. And I don't 'bully' people into it because it happens often enough without my input. Like the way Ryoma has begun to self-evaluate his views of others because of a certain girl, for example.

Kikumaru E.: Eh? Does that mean Ochibi's finally starting to like Sa—

Momoshiro T.: I think it does, sempai! Ah, to be young...

Echizen R.: Sempai-tachi are being stupid.

Inui S.: Ninety-eight point seven percent chance of Echizen saying that just to makes us stop talking.

Oishi S.: Well, we shouldn't be talking about another person's personal affairs in the first place. Right?

Kawamura T.: ECHIZEN'S JUST BEING SHY! COME ON, KID, PROFESS YOUR LOVE BOLDLY!

Kaidoh K.: Ffffsssshhhh...

Tezuka K.: Stop wasting the email on your comments or it's two hundred laps!

Dear Momo-kun,
How can you eat so much and not gain weight? Where do you get all this metabolism?

Momoshiro T.: Ahaha! It's all possible because of tennis! Playing and practicing makes me hungry, so I eat and turn food into energy so I can play some more. It's a vicious cycle, right? But you can't keep eating and eating without using your energy on something. It builds up and makes you fat, which isn't good, not good at all.

Dear Kaidoh-kun,
Why do you scowl so much? It gives your face wrinkles, you know.

Kaidoh K.: Fffssssshhhhhhhhh!

Inui S.: The closest translation I can offer is, 'It's not my fault I can't look like how I feel! I was born with this face...'

Tezuka K.: Thank you for taking the time to email us, LOVEPocky-san.

Momoshiro T.: Yeah! It was a lot of fun! Ne, Echizen? ...Echizen?

Kikumaru E.: Ochibi? Is he out looking for Sa—

Echizen R.: Mada mada dane.

I had a lot of fun writing this. Seriously, thank you so much, LOVEPocky! Your questions made me giddy for whatever reason. :D *gigglesnort*

Please review if you want to see YOUR questions answered! It's open to all characters at all schools! (I'll even take questions for Midoriyama or Jousei Shounan or whatever schools you think of.)