R.V. Having Fun Yet?
BxB Version
The next morning, Betty was the first to wake up. "Up and at- Ohh! Mother of mayhem!" The rest of the mothers woke up to Pumpkin making a huge mess in the RV. Phil opened the door to the bedroom, and the kids saw what had happened. Chuckie was staying on the bed, as Shenzi was still peacefully asleep.
Just then, the dog grabbed Phil's backpack in his mouth. "Ah! My collection!" The brunette boy yelled, before he engaged in a tug-of-war with Pumpkin. "Give it, you little fleabag!" Soon enough, Pumpkin let go of the bag, as Phil sat on the counter away from him. Kira looked to Kimi, who giggled nervously as the others stepped out.
Chuckie looked to Shenzi, who was still out like a light. "Um, Shen?" He gently shook her shoulder, "It's time to wake up."
"Hmm?" She looked up at him with her eyes drooping. "O-oh." She yawned and rubbed the fatigue out of her eyes. "M-morning."
"Morning, Tuck."
Once she was alone, she changed into a regular outfit for the day. Betty had started driving while she was changing, but she kept her balance.
"Because of this morning's dog mishap, we're a little behind schedule," Didi told the kids, "So I've mapped out a tour of the world's most amazing natural wonders you'll ever see." She laid a map on the table the kids were sitting at.
"You'll all have precisely six minutes at each stop, or I'm takin' off without ya," Betty warned them.
Chuckie blushed when he saw Shenzi's outfit after she exited the bedroom; black and dark blue zebra-print skinny jeans, a simple black cropped t-shirt, a polar blue extension, a Tokidoki Mermicorno hair bow, black bow earrings, and black lace-up combat boots.
The group took photo ops at the Hoover Dam, a canyon, a Petrified area, a cave, a doughnut shop which Kira ran from sickly, and a giant fire hydrant enjoyed by Pumpkin and some other dogs. At another stop, Shenzi watched from the gift shop as Chuckie approached a girl on a bridge. She didn't know why she felt so weird; It wasn't like they were boyfriend and girlfriend or anything. So why did she feel so lousy? Did she actually want to be his girlfriend? "Hi uh, my name is Chuckie." He sat on the rail of the bridge. "I'm uh, traveling across the..."
The girl turned around, revealing to be a middle-aged woman. "Hello, Mike."
"W'aah!" Chuckie screamed in shock, "Oof!" The woman watched in concern as he fell off the bridge, and into the river. Thankfully, he wasn't hurt; Shenzi and their friends helped him out of the water.
"Man, could this trip get any worse?" Tommy wondered aloud. And sure enough...
"Look what we found in the gift shop!" Betty called out, walking to the kids with Charlotte, as they wore blue caps with the bridge on them. "Matching hats!"
"Doesn't this just scream "tourist" in a tacky, yet trendy kind of way?" Charlotte remarked. They put more hats on all of the kids, Shenzi's making her ears fold down.
"Oh yeah, this'll really help me with the ladies," Chuckie muttered to himself. Another photo op was taken of the group, with all of them wearing the hats. They had also stopped at a giant chair sculpture, with hats that resembled it, a giant cowboy hat, and a giant silver horseshoe with matching hat, while Dil made a goofy face by stretching his mouth horizontally and sticking his tongue out.
Soon, they stopped at the Grand Canyon. "Ah, the Grand Canyon," Didi admired the sight, "You know Tommy, it takes 4 billion years for Mother Nature to make a rock tower like that."
"And you're going to make me stand here and watch her make it, aren't ya?" Tommy asked her in a deadpan.
Lil was feeling nervous, while still kicking her ball, as Pumpkin started growling. "Kimi, can you try to control that stinky little mongrel?"
"It's not my fault," said Kimi, "If Phil didn't carry around his bag of death..."
Sure enough, Pumpkin slipped out of his leash, and bit on Phil's backpack. "Ow!" He shot up with a yell. He fell face-down in the dirt, accidentally knocking Tommy down as Kimi tried to control the dog. After noticing some audio coming from Tommy's video camera, Phil took a peek. "Whoa!" He exclaimed as Tommy tried to take the camera back, "I love this movie!"
"Uh oh," Shenzi muttered quietly.
"Movie?" This caught Lucy's attention, "Didi, I thought the kids weren't supposed to zone out on this trip."
Didi turned to her oldest son. "Tommy?"
"I downloaded a DVD," He confessed, as Phil continued watching, "I needed something to get my mind off leaving Rachel."
"And the Grand Canyon wouldn't do it?" Didi exclaimed, her last two words echoing.
"Not like Revenge of the Grim Comber Five," Phil smiled. Kira rushed to a trashcan and emptied her stomach for what seemed like the hundredth time to her.
"Nice work, Betty," Charlotte sarcastically remarked, "From now on, I pick the lunch spots."
"Oh well, look who's getting' all loaded off, fancy girl!" Betty retorted.
Susie whistled to get everyone's attention. "Excuse me! But have you all forgotten what this trip is for?!" Her last word echoed in the canyons.
"To make you even more insufferably perfect than you are?" Angelica replied with annoyance.
"And to promote the good work of America's hard-working cheese producers!" Susie answered her own question, ignoring Angelica's comment.
"And it was about us moms getting closer to you guys," Didi chimed in.
"Well, I'm sick of getting close," Tommy decided, "I'm sick of being told what to do. And I'm sick of having a mom!" He finished with metaphorical bang. Dil gasped in shock as his older brother stormed away. He looked to his mother, who looked hurt and guilty.
"Maybe we should be going," Didi smiled nervously. As the group headed for the RV, Didi tossed a pebble behind her back, unknowingly causing a tower of rocks to tumble down.
That night in New Mexico, the kids sat on rocks around a campfire. "What you said to Mom, T, about you not needing her; Harsh," Dil remarked.
"Yeah well, wait 'til you're older," Tommy retorted, "You'll understand."
"I will never understand not loving my mommy," Dil crossed his arms.
While no words were exchanged, a strange boy came up to them. "Hey, you guys seeing the Curtain of Tears tonight?" He asked them, "I need a ride."
"Curtain of Tears?" Kimi smiled with interest.
"What's that?" Shenzi asked him.
"Oh man! You've never heard of it?" The kids shook their heads. "The story is: This Indian princess, Soyiani ditched out some bogus dude her dad wanted her to marry. So her tribe left her behind the Star of Death by the red rock not too far from here."
"Whoa, talk about harsh," Dil commented.
"They say she cried so many tears, the geyser was made in that spot," The boy continued telling the story, "Every year at midnight, it blows and you can see the princess rise in the mist, and hear her screams echoing in the rocks." The kids were incredibly intrigued. The boy then walked away from them.
"Guys, did you hear that?" Dil smiled with excitement, "A genuine apparitional sighting! With water feature!"
"Finally, something we wanna do," Tommy remarked.
"Our moms aren't gonna let us go out in the desert alone at midnight," Lil pointed out.
"Oh," Phil frowned with disappointment, "Yeah. We might touch somethin'."
"Well, we can always sneak out after they go to sleep," Tommy suggested.
"Sneak out?" Shenzi's eyes widened, "I can't even sneak into the kitchen for a glass of water. The floor is too creaky, and my parents are light sleepers."
"Sneak out?" Susie walked up to them, "What for?"
"To see a real-life dead Indian princess," Kimi told her. "Out in the desert."
"Sounds epic," Susie smiled, "But I dunno if it's such a good idea. I gotta sing in New York in 4 days, and I don't even have my song down yet."
"Maybe Susie's right," Tommy sighed reluctantly, "We don't even know how to get there. We better bag it."
"Kids?" Didi walked up to them, with the other moms following from the RV.
"We want to apologize to you kids," Lucy told them.
"We haven't been listening to what you guys want to do," Didi added in.
"So tonight, we're goin' to a real southwestern fiesta!" Betty finished.
At the fiesta, the group of kids and mothers watched a Mariachi performance while sitting at a long table. "Uh huh! Show me how it's done!" Kira exclaimed as she danced to the music.
"Mom, stop it!" Kimi protested in embarrassment.
But soon enough, the mothers were invited on the stage, so they started dancing in front of the bands, as the kids watched in horror. "Ugh, that's it!" Tommy exclaimed, "We have to get away from our moms."
"Oh boy," Shenzi muttered to herself.
Later that night, the mothers were out like lights from all the fun they had at the fiesta. After Dil gave the signal, the kids' plan went into action; They stuffed clothes in their sleeping bags to fool their mothers into thinking they were sound asleep until they came back from the geysers. Shenzi stuffed some extras in the top right bunk, so it looked like she was next to Chuckie. When Kimi stuffed a shirt in, she grew concerned at the large lump it created. "Does that shirt make me look fat?" She quietly asked Angelica.
"I hope this works," Shenzi whispered.
"Whatever is it you're dragging me into, it'd better be worth it," Angelica glared at the preteens after Phil opened the back window. One by one, they climbed out the window and headed for their destination. "We've been walking an hour, and I haven't seen any red rocks. You've been conned." All of a sudden, they heard a howl in the distance.
"What was that?" Shenzi jumped on Chuckie in fear, effectively surprising him.
"Nobody worry," Dil told them, "I'm on lookout." He paused, before Tommy hit the back of his head to snap him out of it. "Thanks," He smiled.
"Whatever it is, it's probably checking Phil's bag of bones," Lil remarked, "I told you, you should've left that thing!"
"I did," Phil retorted, "But you came anyway!" Lil bounced her ball on his head in retaliation.
"Okay that's enough, you guys," Shenzi glared at both of them, "Or we're going back."
"Who made you the boss?" Phil glared.
"You stop it!" Chuckie glared hard at him, keeping his voice down, "Don't talk to my best friend that way!"
"I shouldn't be doing this," Susie muttered worriedly to herself, "The entire cheese industry is counting on me."
"Yeah, I'm sure a whole economies will collapse if you don't sing about sour milk," Angelica said with sarcasm.
The group stopped and looked down from a ledge; They saw a group of people around a campfire.
Meanwhile, Betty woke up in the RV, and looked at the road. "Would you lookee here?" She said to no one, "No traffic. Well! Time to rack up some miles!" After checking her watch, she climbed down the ladder to the floor, and drove off, completely unaware of the kids' absence. Just before the RV started moving, Pumpkin jumped out and on the road.
"9,625," Lil counted her ball kicks, "26, 27..."
"Hey T," Dil piped up, "Meet the Rogers." Triplet boys wearing alien hats and t-shirts walked up, and all said "hi" in turn. "They were cloned, and abducted by aliens! This place rocks!" Tommy was skeptical of the story, but kept it to himself.
As Susie practiced her song, Angelica was humming loudly to throw her off. "Angelica!"
At the geysers, Chuckie was sitting with a girl who had short blonde hair, and braces on her teeth. "And then, you see this bicuspid?" She held her mouth open, "They had to scrape the gum three times before it was right."
"Which headgear did they give you?" Chuckie asked her. "The G-Force Twister, or the Mandible Mangler?"
"Mandible Mangler."
"Ohhh. Me too," Chuckie replied quietly, "Nice night."
"Yeah," She agreed. Chuckie then "absentmindedly" set his hand on hers.
Shenzi frowned sadly as she watched them from a distance. Why couldn't she tell him how she felt about him? Why wasn't she in that girl's place? She knew him a hundred times longer than that stranger did! It wasn't fair; Why didn't Chuckie see her the way she saw him? She then saw Chuckie lean towards the eager-looking stranger with his lips puckered. Tears filled her eyes as she witnessed the scene. But she flinched when a geyser suddenly shot up! She stifled giggles upon seeing Chuckie jump on the girl's lap in fear. The rest of the gang watched in awe as two more geysers shot up with the first one, and they saw an apparition of a girl riding on a horse, associated with a feminine, ghostly scream. After the geysers ceased, the gang cheered happily.
"Did you see?!" Lil smiled with excitement.
"And the part where..." Kimi added.
"I know!" Tommy exclaimed. "And then when the..."
"I was so close," Chuckie said to Phil, "I could almost feel her overbite on my cheek." Shenzi's excitement was replaced with depression once again, from listening to her best friend, not to mention crush, swoon over a girl he didn't even know; She teared up again, but kept it from the others.
When they came back to the parking lot, they were horrified to find it empty! "Oh no! It's gone!" Susie yelled in despair, before they all gasped in terror.
"I don't get it! The RV was right here!" Tommy exclaimed.
"Maybe my mom went to fill up the tank?" Lil suggested, trying to keep her cool.
"Maybe someone stole it!" Chuckie said.
"The "I Am Crud"?" Angelica put her hands on her hips, "Please!"
"I think Angelica's right," Shenzi blinked her tears away, "Not even Al Capone would steal that junkbox."
"Or maybe it was payback for what Tommy said to Mom," Dil theorized, "And we've been left behind just like that Indian princess!"
"How long you think we're gonna last if we take turns lickin' this fuzzy mint?" Phil took a peppermint, which had hair on it, out of his pocket.
"Okay, okay, let's not get all wacked out about this," Susie suggested, "We'll just hike over to the rangers' station. There is a perfectly good explanation for this." The gang then walked away as she stood in place. "I hope."
Meanwhile, the next day, Betty was driving the RV along the roads, still oblivious to the lower number of passengers. "Ahh, a hundred cups of blast on the wall, a hundred cups of blast!" Betty sang to herself as she drove. "Rise and shine, buttercups!" The RV stopped at a gas station with the sign for the world's largest pecan.
"Where are we?" Didi asked Betty after putting her glasses on.
"Brunswick, Missouri!"
"Not the home of the world's largest pecan!" A squirrel was biting at the exhibit outside.
"Yep, while you lazy heads were sowing Zs, I covered almost 600 miles! And you know what? I can do another thousand!" But then she fell asleep instantly, her head landing on the horn. She shot up, before leaning back in her seat.
Didi then decided to wake up the kids. "Wakey, wakey! Time for cakey!" She unzipped Tommy's sleeping bag, and was shocked to see it filled with a bunch of clothes. "Ohh!" The other moms checked their childrens' sleeping bags, and found clothes in there as well. Kira screamed when she found a fish skeleton in Kimi's.
Betty then snapped awake. "How's my drivin'? We in Missouri yet?"
"Yes!" Lucy yelled, "But our kids are back in New Mexico!"
Betty came in the bedroom, and saw the clothes in the sleeping bags. She then took command. "Didi, man the map. Lucy, grab me a cup of joe!" She then jumped in the drivers' seat. "We're turnin' this baby around!" She tried to start the RV, but it broke down right then and there.
Meanwhile, the kids were sleeping all around in the rangers' station. Kimi and Angelica were laying on the table, Dil was on two chairs, Tommy was awake at the desk, Susie was awake as well and looking extremely nervous, Lil was sitting in a chair, using her soccer ball for support, Chuckie and Phil were sitting on a bench, and Shenzi was on the floor by the bench, next to Chuckie with her head near his legs. Chuckie was smiling and mumbling in his sleep, before he unknowingly started kissing Phil's cheek.
"I'm sorry, Susie," Tommy said to her, "I know you worked really hard to sing in this parade."
"Don't sweat it, Tommy," She assured him, "We've still got 3 days to get to New York. I'm not worried."
"I thought you kids might be hungry," The ranger walked up with a box of bread for them, "I'm Ranger Wind Walking Little Feather, but you can call me Klaus."
"Klaus?" Susie crossed her arms.
"Easier to program in the speed dial." He set the bread down.
"You know where our moms are?" Tommy asked him.
"I sent my guys out looking for the RV," He told them, "Won't be hard to find something that butt-ugly."
"Chuckie, get off me!" A now awake Phil griped, before he pushed the redhead away, effectively waking him up and alarming him. Shenzi was snapped awake by his leg bumping her head. The phone rang as the rest of the kids woke up.
"Ranger Walking Wind Little um... Klaus here," He corrected himself, "Yes. They're right here."
He gave the phone to Tommy. "Mom?"
"Tommy?" Didi answered in the RV, "Oh, thank heavens you're alright! I'm sorry!"
"No, I'm sorry Mom," Tommy apologized guiltily, "Where are you?" After receiving an answer, he turned to Klaus. "They're in Brunswick, Missouri!"
"Home of the world's largest pecan?"
"When're you coming back for us?" Tommy asked Didi. "A couple days?! We'll never make it to New York in time for the parade!"
"Wow," Lil remarked sadly, "Sorry, Susie."
"Yeah, tough break," Angelica smiled, "So, where's the nearest 4-star luxury hotel?" Shenzi put her hands on her hips and shook her head in disgust.
"I'll take you over to stay with my family," Klaus offered, "I'm heading up to Raton for a big inner tribal meeting."
"Hold on, Mom," Tommy said to Didi, before turning to Klaus. "Is Raton anywhere near where our moms are?"
"It's in the right direction, but you'd still have hundreds of miles," He told them with a map in his hands.
"Can we go with you?" Tommy requested.
"We've gotta get Susie to New York to sing on the cheese float in the Gracy's Day parade," Shenzi explained, as the girl in question had a pleading look.
"Susie, Susie, Susie," Angelica glared, "What will it take to kill this "can do" attitude of yours?" She looked to Tommy.
"I can get you as far as Denver," Klaus told them, as Angelica groaned in exasperation.
"Mom?"
"I heard, and I'm sorry, but we can't let you travel hundreds of miles alone," Didi told him.
"You've got to!" Tommy insisted, "I can't let Susie down; I can handle this!"
Didi then made her decision. "Alright."
"Thanks," Tommy smiled in relief, so the rest of the gang sans Angelica and Shenzi cheered with joy. Angelica was too jealous, while Shenzi was too personally depressed.
Soon, Klaus was driving a red minivan with the kids inside. Susie was sitting shotgun, Tommy, Chuckie, and Angelica were in the middle row, while Kimi, Phil, and Lil were in the back. Shenzi was squished in between Phil and Kimi from lack of a full seat for her, but she looked too mopey to care. "You have that credit card number your mom gave you to buy our tickets to Missouri?" Tommy asked Chuckie.
Chuckie reached into his red hoodie pocket, and took out a small sheet of paper. "Here it is, as good as money, my man." Tommy stashed the paper in a pouch around his neck, then zipped up his own hoodie to seal it.
"You okay, Shenzi?" Kimi asked the emo girl, "Aren't you happy? We're going to find our moms!"
"Y-yeah, I'm happy," She nodded, "It's just... I guess I'm still a little tired." She timidly averted her gaze to her hands to avoid eye contact.
Meanwhile, Pumpkin was running after the minivan.
In Klaus' hometown, the kids enjoyed a show put on by Indians marching around a campfire, with Dil joining them enthusiastically. "Good news," Klaus told them, "I found ride to the Rockies that will take you to Denver. So, here." He held out a mound of clothes to them.
"What're those?" Phil asked him.
"Those are snowsuits," Klaus replied, giving a set to each of them, "The roads to Denver are snowed in. You are going by dogsled." Angelica looked nervous at that, while the others were enthusiastic.
And sure enough, they did just that. Tommy, Phil, and a scared Angelica were on one sled, Chuckie, Dil, and Shenzi were on another, and Susie, Lil, and Kimi were on the last one. Tommy was completely oblivious to his pouch coming off, and falling in the snow with the credit card number.
Meanwhile, the mothers were at an auto shop where the RV was being repaired. "I'm beginning to think letting the pups trave hundreds of miles alone wasn't such a hot idea," Betty remarked nervously.
"Me too," Kira agreed.
"My Angelica may seem tough, but she's just a scared little girl with an inflated sense of self-entitlement," Charlotte said to Lucy, with tears in her eyes.
"What do you think, Didi?" Lucy asked the orange-haired woman.
"I think Tommy was right, and Lipschitz was wrong," Didi admitted, "Sometimes you've got to give your kids space." They nodded in agreement. "We did our job right, we would've raised right, capable children."
"What do you mean you lost the credit card number?!" Angelica glared at Tommy, "How're we gonna get to Minnesota?!"
"Missouri," Susie dully corrected her.
"Whatever state our moms are in!"
"The paper must've flown out of my pocket when we were sledding," Tommy guessed.
"10,463," Lil counted, "10..."
"Lil!" Everyone exclaimed in annoyance.
"Sorry," She apologized, "Break." She then stopped kicking the ball, but held onto it.
"Come on, guys. We can do this!" Tommy urged his friends, "You want to prove to our parents we're grown up, don't you?"
"No-o-o," Dil shook his head, "Right now, I'd be happy having Mom gently tuck me under the chin, and tell me everything's okay."
"Look, I picked up a map," Tommy took a map out of his pocket, "Now, we're here." He pointed to Colorado.
"In that state shaped like a board game box?" Phil asked him.
"Colorado?" Shenzi corrected the brunette boy.
"Yes," Tommy nodded, "And our moms are here."
"In the state that kinda looks like a shoe?" Chuckie asked him.
"Missouri?" Shenzi chimed in again; She didn't know how they couldn't identify the states on a map.
"Yes," The purple-haired boy replied, "All we have to do is figure out how to get across that big, flat state between them."
"Oklahoma?" This time, the emo girl rolled her eyes.
"Don't they teach you guys geography anymore?" Susie wondered aloud.
"I have a simpler answer," Angelica announced, "Give up. We have no money, no cell phone, and our moms are hundreds of miles away. Face it; Susie's shot at the big time is history."
Susie frowned miserably at that. "No! I'm not giving up!" Tommy yelled in determination, before he saw something: Hot air balloons. "I have an idea."
Later, the kids were riding in hot air balloons in their reunion mission. Tommy, Shenzi, Chuckie, and Dil were in one with a guide, while Susie, Angelica, Phil, Lil, and Kimi were in another with a guide. "Looks like we're not in Kansas anymore," Shenzi remarked.
"Nope," Dil pointed down, "That's Kansas; Look." She looked, and saw a field with "Kansas" cut in it, associated with interesting crop circle designs. Tommy looked behind him, and saw a terrified Chuckie sit against the basket in fear. In the other balloon, Lil was continuing her kicking, but her ball flew out of the basket! Using quick wits and her head, she hit the ball back in the basket, and continued her mission. On the ground, Pumpkin was still going after them.
Soon enough, they were back on the ground, with the balloons tied to stakes. "That wasn't so bad," Chuckie assured himself with a chuckle. But then he saw an attractive girl nearby; When she looked at him, he pulled on the string absentmindedly, but that caused the balloon to collapse on him and the basket. He tried to escape, but he was too late. Shenzi didn't feel obliged to help him, and she didn't know why.
"I found a guy who said he can take us to the next town," Tommy told everyone. "We can call our moms from there, get the credit card number, and arrange a ride."
In the western-like town, they stopped in a general merchandise store for help. "So, let me get this straight: You have no phones?"
"No," The store employee shook his head.
"No faxes?"
"No."
"Not even electricity?" The store had candles on the ceiling instead of light bulbs.
"What, are these people living in the 1800s?" Angelica wondered aloud.
"Yes, they're Amish," Susie answered her, "They don't believe in modern things."
"Not even... blow dryers?!" The blonde exclaimed in horror.
"No," The employee answered her.
"What kind of nightmare is this?!"
After hearing dialogue that they didn't understand, they turned and saw a young Amish boy.
"Cha," Dil replied, "Mother took a ride in the cart in Brunswick."
"Brunswick?"
The gang were confused as Dil and the Amish boy were in a conversation that they didn't understand.
"You understood all that?" Tommy asked Dil when they were done.
"Cha," He nodded, "Don't be shushly."
That night, they all slept in a thankfully quiet barn on cots. Angelica, who was wearing a sleep mask, fluffed her pillow in her slumber. Tommy was still awake however, feeling guilty about what he said to Didi.
"Tommy!" Dil said, but was ignored, "Hey T!" He finally had his older brother's attention. "Olden the lights!" Tommy turned the candle off, before he and his little brother drifted off to sleep.
Little did everyone know, Shenzi was awake as well, but for a different reason: She was confused. Why did she ignore Chuckie when he needed help? Usually she'd be the first one to help him from anything. So why was that time an exception? Was she mad at him for not knowing her feelings? It wasn't like he was a mind reader; He couldn't know how she felt unless she told him. But she couldn't; It would ruin their friendship, especially if the feelings weren't mutual. She wished it was easier to tell him something big like that. Deciding to worry about it tomorrow, she went to sleep.
(A/N: There's part 2. You know the disclaimer. Most likely part 3 will be the last.)