Goner

Chapter 2: Broken.

Emily stood in the middle of the Derek's house, she couldn't believe how many moment she shared with Derek there. In this house, was the first time Derek cooked to her, the first time they watched a romantic movie as a couple, and they shared a lot of kisses as well.

Her feet rooted to the spot. Her mind was a broken record, she couldn't stop remembering Derek bleeding in her arms, and all she could hear is her voice whispering "no" over and over again, she didn't want to do this. She shouldn't be doing this. She can't do this alone.

She blinked furiously to try and hold back the tears, she bit her lower lip to try and contain it all, but she could feel the cracks forming, and the emotion was pushing against all the barriers she had put up.

Her breaths came quicker as she slammed her eyes shut in frustration. She shouldn't be doing this.

The silence in the Derek's home hurt. And it was the loudest quiet she had ever heard there. When she got home after him, the music was always playing and he singing in any part of the house or he was watching a football match and yelling at the tv.

She tried to think of something, anything , but that, because she knew if she did, she would break. And she can't break. Not now.

Her steps are hesitant as her made her way toward the back of the property. As she got closer, she could feel the painful lack of his presence. it feels fundamentally wrong for her to be there. Without him. She didn't know what was she doing in his house.

Her heart bumped painfully when she realized he isn't there. And he never will be again. He's gone.

Three days ago it was real. They buried him. She saw his stone with his name. 'Fidelity, bravery, integrity". Anything else. His life summarized in three words. She tried to be strong, she couldn't break down in front of her family. They were heartbroken, crying for a friend. Luckily, she had Rossi, who had always a little smile for her. Nevertheless, she blamed herself due to don't tell anyone about their relationship. Maybe, if they had confessed their relationship, Derek will be out of the BAU and everything of this wouldn't be happening.

She hated Derek for leaving her. There's so much she want to say to him, she needed to tell him that he was going to be a father. Derek Morgan is a father.

She screamed out in frustration, "I HATE YOU!" But immediately after the words escaped her mouth, she felt sick. She didn't hate him. She never had, and she never will.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, suddenly feeling her legs gave out from under her. She collapsed onto the ground and felt everything began to pour out of her "I'm sorry, Derek. I'm so sorry," she repeated, hoping he could hear me. "I love you."

"I don't know how to be a mother. I don't know because I have never had one, I just call her mom but she acted as Ambassador Prentiss" She sighed "I don't know how to do this without you. Our baby needs you" she said brokenly, sobbed. "I need you" she cried in front of our image together.

"Please,Derek. I can't do this. I need you, love."

"Hey, you," Derek said with a warm smile on his face.

"Hey," she replied, flashing him a smile. "Everyone gone home?"

"Yeah, JJ and Penelope went a few minutes ago, they are going to the movies with Henry, so it's just you and me," he said

"Cool! Because we have a lot of things talk about" she came in to his office and she let the paperwork on his desk. She took a sit and she looked at him. He smile at her "You shouldn't kiss me last night"

"Why?" He frowned "Emily, I know it is difficult but you know my feelings for you, I feel ready to be in a relationship. With you"

She bit her lip, she couldn't say anything. She saw in his eyes that he wanted it. And she wanted it. What is the problem? Fuck, Emily. Say something

She stood up and got closer to him, she held his hands, the contrast of their hands was beautiful. "Derek, I know it is difficult. What will happen with our work?"

"It is not a problem, I will teach in the academy"

"And the team? I don't want to break this"

"Em, stop thinking of the rest of the world. Please, think about you. You deserve to be happy and you will be with me"

"I have never felt this for anyone. When you touch me, when you flirt with me. That kind of things make my day. You make me feel worthy of love"

"Is this a 'yes', princess?"

"Of course it is"

He wasn't there, and she didn't know how to live in a world without that unwavering strength, and love, and support. She'd give everything to just have another day with him. To be able to hug him again.

"God, I miss you so much, Derek"

She went to his bedroom. They were there a few days ago, he brought her the breakfast and she refused it. She put her hand in her stomach. Today she went to the hospital, she could see the little nut that was growing up in her. Emily needed to hold a hand, but she hadn't it. Derek couldn't be there with her. She cried. "I think this place needed one of this" She sighed as she let the white and black image on the table. She lay down on the bed. The sheets smelled of him yet.

Emily was happy but in this moment the sadness was beating the happiness.

A loud noisy woke her up, she thought someone was there, who could come to Derek's apartment?she thought. She took her weapon and hid behind the bed. When the door were opened she heard the scream of a woman, Emily knew her.

"Oh, god! I'm sorry Mrs. Morgan" she ran towards her "Are you okay?"

"What are you doing here? You should not be here" She said a little upset, maybe she does not know about her and Derek.

"I am sorry" Emily apologized again " I was gathering some things"

"You don't have to gather anything, my son does not want it!" Emily could feel a tear down by her cheek and Fran noticed it because she wiped away her tears. "It is okay, I know he is.. he was your partner" Emily nodded with the head "He talked about you, he was in love with you, I guess" Emily sobbed harder and she hugged her again to calm her down. "Don't cry, I know it's hard, I felt the same way when my husband died" she looked at her really surprised "You thought I didn't know?"

"I supposed Derek would tell you sooner or later, Mrs Morgan" I

"Please, call me Fran"

"I can't believe he's gone" Emily hang the head and tried to hold the tears back. "I can't close my eyes without seeing him" Fran rubbed her back with little circles. "I don't know how to live without him, he makes everything better and now…"

"I miss him, a mother would never buried a son" Emily didn't respond. Suddenly Fran walked away from Emily and she took the image that was on the table. Emily didn't say anything, just stared at her. Fran was reacting what she was seeing.

"Fran..." She put her hand in her mouth and closed her eyes.

"Are you..?" She asked

"Yes, I am"

"God!" She sat down in the beyond of the bed. She had her faces hidden with her hands. The Emily's heart broke when she saw that mother, that wonderful woman crying because of the lost of her son. "I'm going to be with you in this, you are not alone"

"You don't have to so that. I just need you as a grandmother to indulge this baby" Fran kissed Emily in her cheek. Fran was doing what the Ambassador Prentiss has never done, kissing her and calming down her.

"Emily, thank you"

"Why?"

"Because you taught what is love to my son"