You know, I honestly did not expect so much adulation for this story; it was written on a lark (stupid plot gerbils!), and it's the first story I've written for the Haruhi Suzumiya fandom. This either speaks volumes about my talent, or you guys are VERY forgiving readers.
My money's on the later.
Anyways, here's another chapter while I wait for the amazing readers to submit there own. At the end I'll explain the three small requirements for submissions. (Don't worry, they really are small; mostly for continuity's sake.)
Now, enough rambling, on with Kyon's perspective!
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Have you ever had one of those days where nothing seems to go wrong, and by the time you have to go to sleep you can't because you're on such a high from the perfect day you had?
If so, please drop me a line.
Please?
I suppose you must be wondering why I'd ask that. Well, I'll sum it up for you in two little words.
Haruhi. Suzumiya.
Let me explain...
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It was actually a fairly typical day for the SOS Brigade when all the craziness stated; Haruhi was on the large computer clicking away at who knows what, Mikuru Asahina was brewing a batch of her heavenly tea (Nectar of the Gods is more fitting, and even that doesn't do it justice), Yuki Nagato was sitting in her corner reading one of those sci-fi books she seems to like so much, and Itsuki Koizumi and I were in the middle of a rousing game of Othello. Yours truly was currently in the lead.
See? Normal, right? Wrong; nothing about this club is ever normal.
And the proof of that is the "knock knock knock" on the door. Or to be more accurate, the package that the person knocking on the door is holding.
But I'm getting ahead of myself...
"I'll get it!" Haruhi shouted, leaping up from her chair (almost tripping in the process) and rushing to the door.
"I wonder what's gotten into Miss Suzumiya?" Koizumi said, eyes centered on said person. "Normally-" Please don't 'normally', it's very misleading "- she just says 'come in' or makes one of us get it."
Yeah, usually me.
"Must be really important is it make Haruhi want to answer the door," I said.
"YES!" she shouted, pumping her fist in the air. "It's finally here!"
"I hope it's not another costume," the angelic time traveler whimpered as Haruhi haggled with the delivery boy about some arbitrary issue she decided to have a problem with at that moment
Please don't do that Miss Asahina, it's killing me enough just with you in that maid outfit. I hate to admit it, but when Haruhi chose Miss Asahina to fill the "moe" slot in the Brigade line up, she chose right.
But even that doesn't excuse all the torture she's had to go through at Haruhi's hands. And it's made worse that she was to wear those demeaning outfit while it happens (though secretly I'll never say that out loud, not unless it turns into more than just groping). So far the most revealing things she's worn is the bunny girl leotard, but if Haruhi ordered something for one of those kinky lingerie websites, then so help me, I'll-
"It is not a costume," the usually silent humanoid interface said, (you know, let's just say 'alien'. It's much easier to remember), not even looking up from her book. Must be a real page turner.
"Really? What make you think that, Nagato?" I asked.
Then she actaully did look up. Her face was as emotionless as ever, but for some reason it felt like she was extruding vibes that said "Really?" or "...And you've known me how long?" or something to that effect.
"Do you know what it is?" the resident epser asked.
She nodded "yes".
"Could you tell us what it is?" I asked, wanting to know weather or not I should strangle Haruhi right there and save some trouble.
She shook her head "no".
"Well why not?" Seriously, it'll save Miss Asahina some embarrassment and give me a chance to vent.
"My hypothesis is that if Miss Suzumya did not tell us about it before now, then it is most likely she wanted surprise us with it when it arrived."
"That does seem to be what is happening," Itsuki agreed.
Pfft, brownnoser.
Miss Asahina was still hiding behind her serving tray.
So. Damn. Cute...
Focus! Haruhi + mysterious package = be worried. Exactly how worried I should be remains yet to be seen.
Anyways, I was jolted from my thoughts by the sound of the clubroom door slamming shut. I guess Haruhi was done arguing with that poor delivery boy.
"OK, it's finaly here!" she said, dropping the package on the table with a rather loud "THUD!" Well, at least lingerie doesn't go "THUD!", so that's a lode of my mind. "Everone gather around, I have an important announcement to make!"
So everyone gathered closer to our esteemed (note the sarcasm) Brigade leader. Except for Nagato. Her hearing was already a million times better than a bat's so she didn't really need to get closer.
She did, however, close her book.
"OK," she began, "I know we don't really have a lot to in here-"
You're telling me.
"-So I've decided to get us all a little something to help stave off the boredom!"
You do have a point there; this isn't really the most lively the school- Wait, did Haruhi just say that she got something for us? She get something for us? Maybe I'm running a fever...Nope, temperature checks out fine. Maybe I'm asleep and this is all some crazy drea-Ow! OK, not dreaming. And there don't seem to be any Horsemen of the Apocalypse outside, so my only question is-
"What are you up to this time?"
"Huh?" she said, a confused look spreading across her face.
Not the reaction you were hoping for, I take it?
"For one thing," I held up my pointer finger for emphasis, "you never get something unless you already have plans for it. For another," I held up another finger, "when do you ever get stuff for us?"
"I'm the leader," she said indignantly, "it's my job to look out for the well being of each and every Brigade member here." Then she crossed her arms and scowled at me, "And just for lack of faith in your Brigade leader, I'm giving you a fifty point deduction!"
Fifty points? Just for doubting her? Yeah, I'm still in this crazy outfit here...why?
Wait a sec, why do I even care about that? It's not like all those points she arbitrarily doles out and takes actually count towards anything.
Ignoring the points, I asked, "So what did you get, anyway?"
"I'm glad you asked, my dear Watson!" Watson? OK, you know it's time to start worrying when Haruhi geings to quote famous literature. Anyways, she ripped off the wrapping on the package with the enthusiasm of a four year old on Christmas morning, revealing the box of a Sony Playstation 3*.
"Holy crap!" I gasped, "How could you afford something like this? Don't they cost like, 35,000 yen* or something?"
"So what if they do?" she retorted. "The point is I got one, so no need to go asking pointless questions about it."
"I think it's a wonderful gift," Kiss-up McBrownnose said, bowing and flashing all-purpose plastic smile, "thank you very much, Miss Suzumiya."
"You're very welcome," she said, returning the bow. "1000 points for you!"
Go figure.
Felling the need to think of something else before my hate turned into rage and I ended up killing Koizumi, (I can't afford to go to prison! I ended up there once a la Haruhi, and...let's just say, NEVER AGAIN.), I looked over at Nagato's corner to see what she was doing. Why I didn't focus on Asahina I don't know. Let's just say it was temporary insanity or something. Not that I'm saying Nagato's unattractive or anything! I was just...Nevermind...
Wait a sec, did Nagato just blink? Boy, she must be really excited about this.
"Kyon, set this bad boy up so we can start pwning some uber noobs!"
Three guesses who that was.
The first two don't count.
"What? No! Do it yourself!" I protested. And as usual, my protests fell miles short.
"Are your carzy?" she piratically shouted, "I went out and got the damn thing, I'm not setting it up. And do I really have to remind you about the Leader/subordinate thing again?"
Finding no help at all from the other Brigade members (Nagato; indifferent. Miss Asahina; too scared to intervene. Captain Kiss-up; kissing up.) I emptied the box of it's contents and opened up the instruction manual.
After several events that I won't bore you with, I finally had the PS3 up and running on a borrowed television (To the Electronics Club, I'll give it back as soon as I can, I promise!). Needless to say the minute I plugged it in Haruhi (I know, big surprise) sat herself down in front of it and started playing some random RPG she must have ordered with it.
After what seemed like several hours (and many, many games of checker) later, Haruhi said, "Feel free to head home, you all don't need to wait for me." After again checking to make sure the world was still here, I grabbed my bag and headed out the door.
When I finally got home I was greeted by my little sister shoving Shamisen (who happened to be dressed like a magically girl) in my face. After liberating him from his torture (he and Miss Asahina should join a support group or something) I ate dinner and went upstairs to do my homework. Once that was done, I got changed and headed off to Dreamland, savoring the few precious hours of REM cycle I had before would make us search the city for aliens, time travelers, and espers tomorrow.
Yeah, little did I know that we wouldn't be doing anything close to that tomorrow...
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And that's the end of chapter one. Be on the lookout for chapter two. (Eventually...)
Anyways, as stated at the beginning of the chapter. there are a few simple conditions to follow for writing entries for the fic.
1. Please make the story self contained. (These first two chapter are each their own world, so don't worry about trying to make your story jive with these.)
2. If you want the SOS Brigade to use Gamertags or whatever, please use the ones from chapter one. (But if you decide to add other characters, feel free to make them up as you go along.)
3. Have fun with it! (This is a humor fic after all, so do your best to make people's sides burst!)
See? Simple stuff. Now, stop reading this and get writing! (After you review, of course.)
*Real product, I claim no ownership whatsoever!
*It's my guesstimate on what the price of a PS3 wold be in Yen.