Author's Notes: Thanks to everyone who took the time to review the first chapter. I welcome all reviews, good or bad. Just knowing you took the time to post a review means a lot to me.
Thanks go out to my betas for this chapter, Phantomoftheoperalover and knitzkampf.
Dedication: This chapter is dedicated to Leela Starsky, whose story 40 Days to Bespin is one of the best in that category I have ever read.
A Soldier's Heart, A Princess's Destiny
by Mako-clb
Chapter 2: Think Like a Smuggler
Leia sat in the lounge area of the XS light freighter Sun Dappler with a little less than half of the mission team. Thanks to a longer-than-anticipated delay in actively starting this mission, and a need for more troops on the Durkteel front, most of Leia's hand-picked team had been reassigned before the final plans were in place. Although disappointed, Leia understood that it simply didn't make good military sense to sideline qualified, needed personnel for a mission that most likely held little military significance even if it might hold great cultural and emotional significance.
Now, most of her mission crew came from the Pathfinder group that Han unofficially led. Unofficially because technically Han was a general-on-assignment. It was a step lower than General Rieekan or General Madine since it was a field commission without a consistent area of command. While that might grate on some, Han preferred it. He said it gave him just enough rank to be able to ignore a whole lot of orders he didn't like, and it gave him enough flexibility to be able to take action instead of pushing papers all the time. Mostly, Leia suspected Han enjoyed the fact that he could easily move from working in stealth ops with some of the Pathfinders to flying missions with his buddies from Rogue Squadron.
Right now, it gave Han the prerogative to personally fly the XS light freighter the Alliance had scrounged up for this mission. The XS was an Old-Republic-era, Corellian-designed freighter that had once been popular with smugglers and pirates. Then again, it seemed that just about every Corellian-designed freighter was popular with pirates and smugglers. Han said it was because the ships were designed to be easy to upgrade and modify and could be flown with minimal crew. In fact, the XS could be flown by a single pilot, though it came standard with a small crew quarters that could accommodate four. Since the strike team consisted of eleven, including Luke and Chewie, they had been forced to spread out in the lounge and take shifts sleeping in the bunks. Despite the fact that the Pathfinder special forces team included a medical specialist and an engineer, Han had insisted on keeping the original medical and tech support attached to the mission, though they were on a separate, smaller shuttle. In addition to Uno, Nightcrawler, and the support shuttle's pilot, an Alderaanian pilot from Gold Squadron was flying the shuttle's fighter escort.
Now it was just a matter of waiting, and Leia hated waiting.
It seemed like she had done nothing but wait for two standard months. Leia waited while Alliance Intelligence decoded and analyzed the rest of the data Han's team had liberated from the Imperials. Admittedly, she had been busy while she waited. Most of the decrypted data had not been related to the supposed Alderaanian temple, but it had provided the Alliance with invaluable data that had allowed them to take down Imperial strongholds in several systems. Leia had spent many long nights discussing how best to allocate the Alliance's limited resources, both Human and otherwise, to take advantage of that information.
When Alliance Intelligence had finally decoded and connected all of the Alderaanian-related data, they realized they had just missed one of the pre-arranged shipments. Worse yet, there was no way to track where the delivery was made. The whole thing was a series of misdirections and partial information. Imperial agents in completely different departments on different worlds had standing orders to package everything from ration bars to parts for water recyclers. Couriers received orders to pick up the packages, which were in sealed cases so the couriers didn't know exactly what they were picking up. Each package was dropped off at a different cargo holding facility. A series of smugglers had been hired to pick up the packages and drop them at secondary sites, and Han said they were clearly paid enough not only to pick up and drop off their cargo but also not to ask any questions. Although Palpatine contracted more than a drolden litter of smugglers for the first stage of deliveries, only four worked each run, and they never worked two runs in a row.
Leia was used to secrets and a healthy level of paranoia. It had become second nature for her since she was about 16 standard years old, when her father had given Leia her first assignment for the Rebel Alliance. She and the Alliance would never have survived if they hadn't closely guarded their secrets and been suspicious of anyone or anything that couldn't be verified.
Palpatine's level of paranoia and secrecy, especially when it came to this particular project, went beyond that; it went beyond even Han's ever-so-slightly crazed level of paranoia. As if the multiple pickup points and smugglers weren't enough, the smugglers themselves received their instructions and payments through third-party messengers. It wasn't clear from the data they found, but given all the other safeguards in place, Han figured the instructions were probably sealed so the messengers didn't know the details. Other messengers delivered instructions to a second set of smugglers. Like the first set, none of the second wave worked two runs in a row. And, not even Han was sure who the smugglers were. Each one was assigned a code number, so even the Imperial Intelligence officers couldn't track them.
Beyond that second set of smugglers, the Alliance had no idea exactly where the cargo went. In fact, the only reason they suspected it was in the Outer Rim was because of the size of the payments. Han had been able to extrapolate about how far the smugglers were traveling based on how much they were being paid. Even though every smuggler Han had ever known negotiated each job separately and tried to wring the job for all it was worth, there was still something of a going rate for smuggling jobs, usually depending on the danger of the cargo, where it was being picked up and dropped off, and how far and which routes the smuggler used. Based on an average of the payments over the length of time they had records for, Han had guessed somewhere in the Outer Rim, probably not near any of the major space routes, though beyond that he had no idea.
None of the secrecy and half-information stopped Han from coming up with the plan that she had finally agreed to. It was risky, though slightly less risky than many of Han's ideas. Since they knew when and where all of the next supply shipments would be stored before the first wave of smugglers picked them up for transport, Han had suggested monitoring all of those locations with two-man teams. Once the supplies had been dropped off by the Imperials, the teams could slip past security, if it wasn't too dangerous, and place hyperspace transponders in with the cargo. The teams would also watch for pickup and relay any data about the smugglers directly back to the command shuttle via a secure Alliance hyperspace communication. That gave them two avenues to follow—the trackers and a backtrace through the smugglers themselves. Han was bound to recognize a few of the players once he had information on what they looked like or what ships they were using.
That didn't stop Leia from worrying. She wasn't worried so much about the danger. On a relative scale, there really wasn't much chance of any of them being captured or killed, at least not until they reached their final destination on whatever Outer Rim planet that might be. No, the worry was that this wouldn't work, and she would never get another chance to find the Alderaanian temple and whatever secrets it or the Imperials stationed there might have. These supply runs were the last of the previously scheduled runs Alliance Intelligence could find, and with Palpatine dead, there would be no more. The garrison might eventually abandon the station if the supplies stopped arriving, or they might just be stranded out there. In any case, Leia would never get the answers she wanted.
There had already been two failed attempts at tracking the shipments. One of the Imperial supply depots that was the first leg in the journey had been destroyed during an earlier attack by the Alliance on Imperial holdouts, meaning there was no cargo for the smuggler to pick up and nothing to track. Han had stationed two Pathfinders to watch the pick-up point anyway, just in case the smuggler showed up. They might get lucky and be able to at least pump him or her for information on the drop-off point, but even Han admitted it was a long shot. The other failure had happened less than a day ago in the Xorth system. Han broke into the storage facility and placed the hyperspace transponder personally, with some assistance from Tomo Dasson. They returned to the Sun Dappler's docking slip, which was within sight of the storage facility, and waited. Han didn't recognize the man who took the cargo from the storage unit, so they waited for the ship to take off and the transponder to kick in. When the team picked up the ping from that transponder a standard hour later and it showed the cargo hadn't moved at all, Han and Dasson went back out to the storage facility. What they found was an empty hold, empty except for the transponder. Han shrugged it off, admitting he was expecting something like this to happen at least once. Back in his smuggling days, Han always checked the cargo for anything suspicious. Han had prepared Leia for that possibility when she approved his plan, but expecting it and experiencing it were two different things.
Right now, they were flying toward Leria Kerlsil. Just under two standard hours ago, they had picked up a signal from one of the last two hyperspace transponders. The signal was from the shipment scheduled to be picked up on Ator. Han had insisted that each transponder be set to broadcast at a specific frequency and with a distinctive pulse pattern so they would always know which transponder signals they were receiving and easily differentiate them from standard transponders. It had been expensive to purchase the transponders and set them up to meet those specifications. Leia had paid for it out of one of her personal accounts. She couldn't ask the Alliance to pay for it when there were so many other expenses related to rooting out the Imperials and setting up the New Republic government. And, Leia felt like she was finally doing something, personally doing something, for Alderaan and for its people and culture.
Despite being lost in her thoughts, Leia sensed Luke brush her mind. He smiled at her when she turned to face him.
"Credit for your thoughts," Luke said as he moved to stand next to her.
"Just thinking about the mission."
"About the mission or about the temple?"
"The mission mostly," Leia admitted. "It's difficult for me to imagine the temple right now. When I do, I picture the temple in Aldera. It was the largest temple on the planet, but even it was more like a shrine than a temple. The temples were made by local stonemasons out of the natural materials of the area. They were always round, never fully enclosed. Just a base and a dome held up by columns carved with depictions of local flora and fauna. There were pedestals positioned near the center of the shrine, one for each column that held up the dome. People could leave a donation of food, clothing, or other new or gently used goods on the pedestals. When a pedestal was empty, that's when you knew the goddess was seeking another donation."
"For the priests and priestesses?" Luke asked, curious to know more about his sister's home, her planet and culture. He also wanted to keep her talking. She spoke so little about Alderaan, especially like this, without the usual grief and guilt.
"No," Leia said, shaking her head. "There were priestesses once, long ago, back when Alderaanians actually worshiped the goddess."
"They don't worship anymore?"
"Not in the traditional sense, no. In modern Alderaanian society, it's more respect for the ideals the goddess represents. Every major city had a shrine, and even most smaller cities. Rural communities might just have three pedestals near the town center for donations."
"But, if there weren't any clergy, who were the donations for?" Luke asked. It all baffled him. On Tatooine, there wasn't any organized religion and nobody Luke knew had worshiped any deities. The closest thing they had was the Hutt—a devil who took whatever he wanted, and all you could do was pray that you stayed in his favor or stayed far below his notice.
"For anyone who needed them," Leia said. "No matter what form of government you have, no matter how much the leaders do to protect and help the people, there will always be those who fall on hard times and those who find success. Anyone who wanted to help others could leave anything they felt they could spare on a pedestal. A loaf of bread. A talla tart. A blanket. Once, I saw a bouquet of star blossoms."
"I don't understand," Luke said. "How would that help anyone?"
"Just seeing that people had left something, anything on a pedestal was a sign that there were people who cared. That they cared about people they may not even know. That there was no judgement about what a person might need or why."
Leia spoke with such reverence that Luke couldn't help but be moved, not just by the simple kindness that such places offered, but by the loss every being in the galaxy had suffered when the Empire destroyed Alderaan. He squeezed Leia's shoulder, hoping to offer what little comfort he could.
"Were there lots of Alderaanian temples outside the system?" Luke asked.
"Only one that I ever knew of," Leia said. "It was just three pedestals next to the Alderaanian embassy on Coruscant. By the time I was a senator, the embassy staff had already converted the area to a garden, with potted plants placed on top of the pedestals, to comply with Palpatine's edict prohibiting all religious sites."
"Yeah, I guess old and wrinkly didn't want anyone worshiping anyone but him." Leia looked over her shoulder to see Han had left the cockpit and was now standing behind her. "Not that I ever got why people did the whole religious thing anyway. No way there's some super powerful being out there granting people's wishes. 'Least, not mine."
"What did you wish for?" Luke asked.
"Doesn't matter. I didn't get it." Han said, and Luke noticed that Han evaded the question as easily as he did almost any question that might give someone even a hint to what his life had been like before he became a smuggler.
Chiya Urr suddenly spoke up from her place on the floor at the other end of the lounge. "You never got anything you wanted? That's pretty sad. But, if you don't want that ship of yours, I'll take it."
"Hey, I never said I didn't want the Falcon," Han retorted, both slightly affronted that anyone would think he didn't love his ship and flattered that a talented pilot like Urr wanted it for herself.
"That's what it sounded like to me, Solo," Urr challenged, but her grin took the sting out of her words. "In fact, sounded like you've got a lot of things you don't want, and some of us would be happy to take that stuff off your hands."
"Keep your hands off my stuff, Urr. That goes for the rest of you, too. You want my stuff, you better be prepared to beat me at sabaac." Han said it without any malice, and it was clear to both Luke and Leia from the laughter of the Pathfinders that Han frequently bantered like this with the men and women under his command.
"Does that apply to me, too, General Solo? Do I need to beat you at sabaac to put my hands on your stuff?" Leia asked suggestively. It wasn't like Leia to flirt so obviously in public, but she was enjoying the easy camaraderie that had sprung up and was especially glad that her presence hadn't intimidated the troops into clamping down on their usual banter. Leia so rarely got to be just one of the group that she didn't want to let this chance go.
Han laughed out loud and said, "Sweetheart, you can put your hands on my stuff anytime you want."
Everyone laughed. Everyone but Luke, who hung his head and groaned. "Did you forget I'm her brother?" he asked Han. "I don't want to hear this."
"Wait! Brother? Since when is there a prince of Alderaan?" somebody shouted.
Han saw Leia tense for just a moment, though he guessed nobody else had noticed. Han wasn't sure what Leia or Luke would say about this. It wasn't a secret; Leia had been firm about the fact she wasn't ashamed that Luke was her brother, but Han had no idea how she would explain that without explaining Vader.
"There isn't a prince of Alderaan," Leia said calmly and pleasantly, though it was clear to Han her earlier, playful mood was gone. "Luke and I are twins. I always knew I was adopted, but Luke and I only learned we're related a few months ago. We're not sure why, but we were separated and adopted by different families."
"Princess, does that make you a Jedi, too?" It was clear from Taron's tone of voice that he was being both serious and respectful, but that didn't stop Han from frowning at his weapons sergeant. Taron may not know it, but he was hitting too close to the kind of kest that upset Leia.
"Hey, Solo, permission to ask the Princess for a favor," Urr called out, and without waiting for a response, she said, "My new guy's from Alderaan. He joined up just after Endor, and his mom really hates the idea of him joining any military, even if he is just a supply clerk. I'm thinking if you join us for dinner, his mom might lay off, plus I could win some serious good will."
Leia smiled, one of those bright smiles Han loved. "I would be honored to meet any Alderaanian survivors. Thank you for inviting us."
"I'm just asking you, Princess. If Solo comes, my guy's mom will think the military is full of scruffy-looking degenerates."
"Why the hells does everybody think I'm scruffy looking?" Han demanded in mock indignation. "My clothes are clean and I shave." When Leia laughed, Han gave himself a reminder to treat Urr to a round of that nasty Seloti ale she preferred.
SW-SM-SW-SM-SW-SM
Han had left the piloting in the capable hands of Chiya Urr while he, Chewie, and Leia, took their shift in the bunks. Well, technically, Chewie was using one of the smaller holds where he and Han had managed to string up a hammock for the Wookiee. That left just Han and Leia in the actual bunk room. Leia had accused Han of setting the sleep shifts so the two of them could be alone. She followed up on that observation by making it clear that alone in the bunk room or not, nothing would be happening on a mission.
Despite his lewd response, Han had no intention of doing anything like that. Though he would never tell Leia, Han had arranged the sleep shifts so the two of them could be alone, but it was mainly to make sure Leia got some sleep. If she shared the bunk with strangers, Leia would only pretend to sleep for fear of having a nightmare. Though the nightmares came less frequently than they used to, Leia still sometimes cried out in her sleep. If it were just the two of them, Leia might actually let herself fall asleep. Plus, on a ship this size, the bunk room was about the only place the two of them could get a little privacy, even if all that was involved were some innocent kisses and private conversations.
"This will work. We'll be at that temple of yours before you know it," Han reassured Leia just before kissing her goodnight. "So, try to get some sleep."
"I know," Leia said as she settled onto one of the lower bunks. "I have faith in you and your team."
"Your team, too, Sweetheart."
Leia shook her head. "This may be my mission, but they are definitely your team. Don't you notice the way they follow your lead without you having to even give orders?"
"That's 'cause they're all good. Real good. They don't really need me to lead them most of the time."
Leia stood back up, getting on her tiptoes so she could kiss Han on the cheek. It never ceased to amaze Leia how Han could suddenly be so humble when most of the time he was such a braggart. Moments like that were among the many reasons she loved him.
Han gently held Leia's face, guiding her lips to his and giving her a chaste kiss.
"You okay?" Han asked before placing a kiss on Leia's forehead. When Leia only responded with a "hmmm," Han added, "About earlier with Luke?"
Leia nodded. "I meant it when I said I didn't want to keep it a secret that Luke is my brother."
"I know, but you still seemed…" Han trailed off for a moment, searching for the right words. Familiar with Han's particular way with words, Leia waited patiently until he finally added, "uncomfortable."
"Not with Luke," Leia said. "It was just that we never really discussed exactly what we would tell people if it came up. I love Luke. I always have."
"Yeah, I know," Han said so quietly Leia almost didn't hear.
"He always felt like family," Leia clarified, trying to soothe Han's irrational jealousy. It showed itself at the strangest times, and Leia was never exactly sure what Han was jealous of anymore. "But, there's more to my new family than just Luke, and I'm worried that one day someone will make the connection."
Vader. Han knew Leia was talking about her biological father, Darth Vader. He pulled Leia close and ran his hand slowly up and down her back. "Anyone who knows you won't care," Han said, his voice pitched in low, soothing tones. "And, anyone who cares isn't worth your time."
"I wish it were that simple," Leia said, her words muffled as she pressed her face against Han's chest. He held her close, wishing it were that simple, too. Even though it should be, he could almost guarantee it wouldn't be.
"Let's get some sleep," Han said as he gently pulled back from Leia before giving her one last, gentle kiss. He waited until she was settled on her bunk before taking the bunk directly across from hers.
After years of being forced to rest whenever and wherever he had the chance, Han was usually able to fall asleep quickly no matter the circumstances. But since he started sleeping with Leia, it had become second nature to stay awake until she was settled if not actually asleep. He didn't mind. In fact, Han always woke up feeling better when he slept with Leia by his side, especially if she seemed to sleep well. So Han lay awake, listening for Leia's breathing to even out, and as soon as it did, he drifted off to sleep.
Loud banging on the door woke Han. He was alert in an instant, but he felt like he had only been asleep for a few short moments, not an entire sleep cycle. It couldn't possibly be time for a shift change.
"Han!" Luke's voice called from the other side of the cabin door. "Lieutenant Urr needs you in the cockpit. She said the transponder is on the move."
Han hit the lights and sat up quickly, checking the time even as he reached for his boots. He had been asleep for longer than he thought, but it hadn't been even half of the scheduled sleep cycle. Not surprisingly, Leia was also awake. She was a light sleeper, so there was no way she would have slept through all the noise Luke was making. Han considered telling her to go back to sleep, but he knew she wouldn't. This was Leia's mission. She needed to be involved every step of the way.
"I'm coming!" Han shouted when Luke called his name again. He ran a hand through his sleep-tousled hair before standing and extending that hand to Leia. She pulled the laces tighter on her boots before taking his hand. She didn't need help getting to her feet, but she accepted the gesture for what it was, a sign that she had Han's support.
SW-SM-SW-SM-SW-SM
Han could hear Chewbacca shouting before the Wookiee entered the Sun Dappler's cockpit.
"What's your problem?" Han asked, knowing Chewbacca would get to it eventually, but only after he had growled and moaned for a little longer.
When Chewie answered, Han was incredulous. "Wait, you're angry because I let you enjoy a full sleep cycle while I've been keeping track of this bantha-brained pilot and making sure he doesn't realize we're tracking him?"
Chewie's response started out loud and still a bit angry, but as he went on, his tone became more curious.
"No, I didn't need you to co-pilot. I needed you to get some sleep so somebody around here is operating on more than just kaf or Jedi meditation mumbo-jumbo."
Chewie mumbled something about good leaders making sure the troops are well rested, to which Han mumbled, "Well, some of 'em mighta been sleeping until you started making all that noise, you big lug."
The Wookiee mumbled an apology, adding that he only wanted to help the princess. He would hate it if they missed this opportunity because he had been sleeping.
"Yeah, I know," Han said. He felt the same way, but as usual was not comfortable voicing his feelings. "But, there's really not much for you to do right now. All these short, hyperspace jumps are annoying, but nothing I can't handle."
Chewie cocked his head and let out a low hum that was basically the Wookiee equivalent of a human "hmmm." Han had been friends with Chewbacca long enough to know that was his way of asking Han to elaborate.
Han turned around, looking to see if anyone else was near the cockpit before speaking. "I'm not sure if the guy knows he's being tracked or if he's just normally this paranoid. I'm leaning toward the latter since he hasn't dumped the tracker yet, but he keeps making these short hyperspace jumps that are all over the place. He's definitely heading out of the Core, but he's back tracking a lot. It doesn't seem like he's landing anywhere, just coming out of hyperspace long enough to set a new course and take off again."
At that moment, Han piloted the ship out of hyperspace and into real space. As soon as he completed the transition, he sent a short hyperspace message, then started up the nav computer.
"See what I mean? This was the shortest jump yet. I'm starting to worry he may have caught on to us, and he's setting up some kinda ambush. Might be why he hasn't just ditched the transponder. It's why I'm having our support ships hang back. I just let 'em know we arrived safe, and I'll send them the new coordinates as soon as we've got 'em and the nav computer has run its calculations. That way if there is an ambush, they arrive later to provide backup, not with us in the middle of whatever trap we set off. And, I set up a rotation to make sure somebody's manning the laser canons all the time."
Chewie suggested they stay closer to the other ship, make the hyperspace jumps sooner and exit hyperspace right on his tail.
"Yeah, I thought about that, but if he's not already on to us and he sees us, we'll spook him." Han paused to evaluate the readouts from the transponder, then sighed when he saw where the next jump would take them. "I've got the new coordinates ready to go. Send 'em to Tacen. He knows to jump here first. Wait until that transponder is on the move again, then take us into hyperspace. I get the joy of letting everybody know it's probably going to be a long trip."
The soft whine let Han know his friend was worried how the princess would take the news.
"Yeah, I know," Han agreed as he moved around Chewie in the small cockpit. "I'm worried too."
SW-SM-SW-SM-SW-SM
Luke had delayed starting his sleep shift in case things had started to heat up now that the smuggler they were following was back on the move, but after Han's announcement and his insistence that anyone who was supposed to be sleeping get to a bunk and sleep, Luke had retired to the cargo hold Chewie had been using. There was room for Luke in the crew quarters, but he intended to practice some Jedi meditation techniques that should help him feel rested and go deeper into the flow of the Force. He was hoping to get a better idea of why he felt such a strong need to be part of this mission. Luke could meditate anywhere, but he was afraid it might make his bunkmates uncomfortable, and he didn't want to cause them to lose any sleep. Han was right that they all needed to be well rested and at their best since they didn't know what they were heading into and how they might have to adapt.
Although, after his years with the Rebellion, encountering the unexpected on missions was practically expected.
Luke sat down in one corner of the hold, far enough away from Chewie's hammock that if he decided to levitate while he meditated, he wouldn't get caught in the Wookiee's bed. He crossed his legs and rested his forearms lightly on his thighs. He closed his eyes and took several slow, deep breaths. With each breath, he relaxed his body and his mind, giving himself over to the Force.
The sense of anything physical fell away, as did the sense of time passing. It was like Luke was alone, only nothingness surrounding him. Then the nothingness was filled with the Force, and suddenly Luke was both nowhere and everywhere at once. Luke felt somehow separated from life and at the same time connected to it in a way that was impossible without the Force. In the void of everything, he reached out with his mind, calling, "Ben. Yoda."
When he got no answer, Luke tried again. "Ben. Master Yoda."
"Yoda is beyond your reach now. Beyond mine as well."
"Ben," Luke said, a smile in his voice. Though they did not have much time together before Ben sacrificed himself to ensure Luke and Han were able to rescue Leia, Luke would never forget the sound of his friend and mentor's voice. After all, he had heard that voice several times over the years, usually offering advice in his most desperate moments.
"Ben, I'm so glad you're there," Luke said, though he suspected the words and the sound of his voice were more a construct of his mind than anything else. "But, what happened to Yoda?"
"Nothing happened to him, Luke. He survived for a long time, longer than was normal for his race, thanks to his control of the Force and his strong will. But, once his work was done, once you became a Jedi strong enough to defeat Vader, he finally let himself join the Force. And, when his Force spirit saw that you had surpassed our greatest hopes, that you had not only defeated Vader, you brought him back to the light and in that way defeated Darth Sidious as well, he decided to let go of his sense of self and become one with the Force."
"Are you going to become one with the Force, too?" Luke tried to keep the loneliness and sorrow out of his mental voice, but he couldn't completely hide it.
"Someday, yes," Ben replied, understanding how Luke felt better than the younger Jedi could imagine. "But, not for some time. You must make your own way, both for yourself and for the Jedi, but I will be here as long as I can to offer what I can."
"What about my father?" Luke whispered, suddenly wondering if he would finally have the chance to talk, really talk, with his father. "Is he one with the Force?"
There was a pause so long that Luke wondered if Ben's spirit had left him already, then he heard Ben's voice once more. "No, but neither can he speak with you."
Luke bowed his head, disappointed that although he had saved his father's soul, he might never have the answers he needed or the relationship with his father that he had always wished for.
"That is not what you are seeking. You did not call for your father. You called for me and for Yoda," Ben said. It wasn't a question, for Ben clearly knew the answer, and though Luke's sense in the Force told Ben that the young man felt a bit guilty, Ben wasn't sure if it was guilt for not calling out to Anakin initially or at becoming distracted from the real reason he sought out the old Jedi masters.
Luke took a few moments to gather himself, to immerse himself in the feelings he had been having about the Force, his destiny, and how they tied in to the Alderaanian temple.
"Recently, I've felt the Force is pushing me," Luke paused, not feeling that the words he was using were doing justice to what he felt. Leia was so much better with words; he almost wished she had sensed the same thing and could help him explain it. "Maybe not pushing, but guiding, encouraging?"
"Go on," Ben encouraged when Luke paused again.
"Do you know what's been going on?" Luke asked, changing direction a bit. "What we're doing right now?"
"To some extent," Ben admitted. "I am no longer alive, and I do not truly exist in the world as living beings do, but I can choose to be aware of the physical world. And, you and I have a connection, so it is easier for me to sense things as they relate to you."
"Do you know why the Force is guiding me toward this Alderaanian temple?"
"I don't."
"You don't know or you won't tell me."
"I don't know," Ben said. "In many ways, I am more in tune with the Force than I was when I had a physical body, but I am still not one with the Force. There are things even I do not know. Things that even Master Yoda, in all his wisdom, did not know."
"But, how is that possible?"
"You must never think that you or any Jedi is infallible," Ben warned. "We may be more in touch with the Force. We may be able to understand it, and it may aid us, but we are like any sentient life form in that we interpret what we see, hear, feel, and sense through the prism of our own experiences and biases.
"I believe that is what led to the fall of the Jedi. Darth Sidious may have given the order, but it was the arrogance of the Jedi and especially of the Jedi Council that allowed him to go so far. We believed so strongly in our connection to the Force, that we understood the world better than other sentients, and so we were blind to what was really happening around us. I spent many years on Tatooine meditating on where I went wrong with your father's training."
"But, I thought Jedi are supposed to live in the now, not dwell on the past."
"We should not obsess over it or dwell on it so much it prevents us from living in the now, but that does not mean we should ignore the past," Ben advised. "We must learn from our mistakes, or what purpose do they serve? I meditated on these things so that I would not make the same mistakes in training you as I did your father."
Luke realized his conversation with Ben was straying off his intended topic again, but Luke couldn't help but want to hear what Ben had to say. It wasn't just that he wanted a better understanding of how and why his father had fallen to the Dark Side. It was also that Luke wanted advice on how to continue his own training and how to train others so they didn't follow Anakin Skywalker's path.
"What mistakes did you make?" Luke prompted when Ben fell silent.
Once again, Ben answered Luke's question with the three words Luke least wanted to hear. "I don't know."
"You don't know," Luke echoed with disbelief.
"No matter how long or how often I meditated on it, all I ever felt from the Force was that fate had gone very wrong, and yet there was still hope because the Force was telling me that as long as you and your sister were still alive, there was a chance for the galaxy, a chance for a great wrong to be set right.
"For some time, I thought that Yoda was right, that Anakin was too old when I took him on as my padawan. Or, perhaps it was that I was simply too young and inexperienced as a Jedi myself."
"What is a padawan, and why did Yoda think my father was too old? Was he my age when he became a Jedi?" Luke asked, not really wishing to interrupt for fear Ben would try to refocus the conversation again but needing to fully understand what he was hearing.
"Padawan is the term the Jedi used for an apprentice. And, your father was a young boy and I was a newly knighted Jedi when I took him on as my padawan." Anticipating Luke's next few questions, Ben added, "Most Force-sensitive children were identified within the first three years of life, and they were taken to the nearest Jedi temple to be raised and trained. Until your father, I had never heard of a boy his age being accepted into the temple, and it was equally rare for a child to become a padawan right away, rather than complete the youngling training first. But I insisted, despite Yoda's objections. And, I think the Council agreed only because of the great potential your father possessed."
Luke was eager to learn anything about his father or the old Jedi Order, but the more Ben shared with him, the more questions he had. Luke was also beginning to realize that as important as Ben had been in setting Luke on his path, he really knew very little about his mentor beyond what he had seen of the older man on Tatooine and what little Ben had shared before their capture by the Death Star.
Luke knew he did not have the time to ask everything he wanted to know right now. Although his Force trance took him beyond physical needs and senses, Luke was not yet a Force spirit and he still possessed a physical body that resided on that plane of existence, and time continued to pass there. He needed to focus, to prioritize.
"What potential? What made him so special that he was accepted and trained in spite of the rules against it?"
"Your father was nine when my master, Qui-Gon, met him. We were on Tatooine, and my master recognized immediately that Anakin was strong in the Force. He was stronger than any being ever recorded, stronger even than Yoda."
"Stronger than Yoda," Luke said. "How is that possible? He was nine."
"I said stronger in the Force, not wiser in how he should use that power," Ben elaborated. "He was such an innocent child, a testament perhaps to how his mother raised him considering how difficult it must have been to stay innocent and kind when you grow up a slave. But, he was afraid. He was eager to be a Jedi, but he was also afraid. Afraid for his mother who was still a slave, certainly. Afraid perhaps because the man who rescued him was dead. And though he never said a word about it, I think perhaps he was afraid that he could not live up to Qui-Gon's belief that he was the Chosen One who had been prophesied."
"There was a prophesy about my father? What was it?"
"The prophesy was about the Chosen One," Ben corrected. "It was so ancient that its origins were unclear. Jedi scholars had studied it over thousands of years. It said simply that a Chosen One would arrive who would bring balance to the Force. Many scholars believed it meant a very powerful Jedi who would defeat the Sith once and for all. That is what my master believed. In his honor, I took Anakin as my padawan, hoping to train and guide him to fulfill his destiny.
"Your father never believed he was the Chosen One. He was aware, only too aware, that he was possibly the most powerful Jedi to ever live. He was arrogant about that, but he never believed he was some prophesied savior. I must admit that I had my doubts as well. Not about your father's abilities or skill as a Jedi; no, he surpassed me in many ways. I doubted that Anakin was the Chosen One, even at the same time I wanted to believe that together he and I could end the specter of the Sith."
"Is that what you meant when you said the Force was telling you fate had gone wrong? Because father fell to the Dark Side instead of stopping the Sith?" Luke asked, suddenly filled with a powerful sense that he was getting closer to some very important answers.
"Yes, I believed it then, and I am sure of it now. The Force was crying out because a being so filled with it, so connected to the very fabric of life, had fallen to such depths of anger and hatred." There was sorrow in Ben's voice, sorrow for all the lives lost to the reign of the Emperor and Darth Vader. "But, even in that dark hour when my heart was filled with pain over losing a man who was like a brother to me, you and your sister brought two bright sparks of light into the galaxy. Watching your mother die was almost more tragic than your father's fall, but she did not lose her life in vain."
"You were there? You know who my mother is?" Luke asked. Strange how he rarely thought about his mother, but now that he had the chance to know, it was all he wanted.
"I was there when you and your sister were born. Yoda and Bail Organa were there as well. Yoda and I knew you were both strong in the Force, possibly as strong as your father. You both burned so brightly with the Light Side, I feared the Emperor would sense it and send his agents out to kidnap or kill you. We decided we had to separate you from your sister and hide you both until the Force told us the time was right. Bail insisted on taking your sister, and Yoda and I swiftly made arrangements to make sure she was protected. And, as you know, I watched over you on Tatooine."
"Tell me who my mother is, Ben. Please."
"You were both so strong, so bright in the Light Side that Yoda and I were certain that one or both of you would be able to defeat Vader. We thought that without him, one of us might have the chance to kill the Emperor," Ben continued as if he hadn't even heard Luke. "I did not immediately sense your sister on the Death Star. Somehow she was unconsciously masking her presence in the Force, preventing anyone from sensing her true power. Despite having no training, it became clear to me that she was as strong in the Force as Yoda and I could have hoped for. But, her light had faded. All she suffered at Vader's hands dimmed her light. It did not extinguish it, but it did not burn nearly as brightly as yours.
"I think that is why Yoda and I left her as a last resort, to only be trained if you failed." Ben's voice began to fade, and suddenly Luke realized he had never really asked the question that had prompted him to initiate this conversation. Now Luke had an even more urgent concern. Ben must have sensed Luke's worry because he continued even as their connection continued to fade. "No, Leia has not fallen. She is still firmly in the light. But, the mental and physical suffering she endured would dim the light in even the strongest of Jedi. I sense that soon we will all find answers to questions we did not even know to ask. And, if you listen to your feelings, you'll finally realize what you already know is true, what I am sensing from you, Luke. What you seek may serve to bring your sister some much-needed peace."
Ben was gone. Luke opened his eyes to see the darkened cargo hold. He took a few deep breaths before floating back to the floor. He felt rested physically, but Luke's mind was a jumble. There was so much information to process, and it led to so many questions that Luke didn't know where to start. Looking at his chrono, Luke realized there would be no time to sort through his thoughts and feelings right now, not even time to rest his mind, for his sleep shift was over. Not that any of that mattered right now.
What did matter was that he might finally be able to help ease his sister's suffering. She hid it well, so it had been a long time before he realized how traumatized she still was. He often thought that he, Han, and Chewbacca were the only ones who realized the true depth of her pain. If what Ben had said was true, and Luke felt the truth and rightness of it more strongly as each second passed, then finding that temple could bring Leia a small measure of peace. Luke would do everything in his power to make sure they found it and that they all reached it safely.
to be continued