Liftoff 02

She didn't want to go in. She couldn't go in, not after all that she heard. Natsumi sat frozen on the other side of the door, her hands stuck to her ears in a futile effort to block out the noise, her eyes shut tight as if to blot out the world. But she could still hear the screaming and shouting from the other side of the door. 'Why?' she thought to herself, sitting in absolute terror, glued to the floor, wishing that she could just vanish from here forever. But reality is not that kind.

Eventually the sound stopped. She heard a few whispered words and what sounded like a door closing before the distinctive gushing of water into the bath became faintly discernible to her. 'Is it over?' she thought to herself, her hands reluctantly leaving her ears as her eyes slowly pried themselves open. Natsumi herself didn't even notice the red puffiness of her face, a result of the sniffling and silent crying she had been doing; her entire mind was preoccupied with what she had heard inside. 'What did I hear? Maybe it was just a misunderstanding? Maybe they were doing something like role-play?' Natsumi's excuses sounded hollow and frail even to her but provided some little comfort. She had made a life out of excuses, or so she thought, as an aspiring actress she wished to be able to convince herself of any role but this…this was just too much.

Natsumi straightened herself out, clutching the strap of her school bag tightly in one hand, as she turned to face her room door. The door. It was amazing what personification could do. Whilst to Natsumi the door was normally merely a physical object, one of thousands, which she interacted with on a daily basis it had today taken on a character of its own. It loomed before her ominously today even though she knew it was actually quite a small entrance and even though she had seen its chipped brown surface many times it now seemed to be an immaculate onyx portal. Her overactive imagination ran wild as the door became more and more a Lewis Caroll like entity and Natsumi half expected the thing to start chanting riddles at her until…

"Deep breaths, deep breaths," Natsumi commanded herself quietly, becoming aware of the shaking of her limbs, trying to steel herself. 'Should I maybe stay somewhere else today?' Natsumi's own mind questioned her, trying to provide alternative solutions to a problem. As if she was trapped in some kind of visual novel Natsumi suddenly saw a list of options make themselves clear before her mind:

'Should she:

Enter and confront Kotaro!

Stay here

Scream for someone nearby

Run to find Ayaka

Attack Chizuru

Tell the Dean

Tell Takamichi-sensei

Tell Negi-sensei'

The list was quite comprehensive and she found herself struggling with which choice she should make which path to follow along the script. Eventually, incapable of making up her mind, Natsumi just followed her instincts on the matter. With a trembling hand she gripped the door handle and pushed it ajar. She took a quick breath to calm herself and then, with no fanfare whatsoever, stepped into the light of the room and all that was contained therein.

The room was in a mess; the table was smashed, the crockery lying shattered around the floor, and even deep tears in the carpet attested to what had occurred within. Natsumi found herself involuntarily gasping as her one hand reached to cover her mouth, her school bag dropping unnoticed to her side. Even though she had tried to steel herself for what she might find within she had underestimated the effect it had on her. Before was the scene of what could only be described as a rape and she had heard every minute of it, heard it and done nothing. The urge to vomit suddenly swilled upwards in her throat, but she successfully contained it. Her eyes surveyed the ruins of the room until they came to rest on the only living being within;

"Kota-ro-ku-n," Natsumi choked the name out, almost spelling it syllable by syllable, as she stared at him. The 10-year old boy was naked (a fact which alone caused Natsumi to feel terribly uncomfortable) and kneeling in the middle of the room, his head downcast and what were quite visibly tears dripping down from them unto the floor. For reasons she couldn't grasp he had only noticed her after she said his name; his ears pricking up like a dogs as his head swivelled to look at her.

For a terrible moment the two remained entranced by the others presence, staring into each other's eyes, Natsumi's horrified expression reflected in the mirror-like blank gaze of Kotaro and his own puffy red ones reflecting in hers. Then he was gone. Natsumi only had enough time to blink and he was already gone, an open window and slight breeze the only evidence of his escape. That was when Natsumi began to bawl, letting loose a monstrous feeling which had been welling up inside her since she arrived. 'Why? Why? Why? Why Kotaro-kun? Why would you do this to Chizu-nee? Why would you do this to me?' the thoughts were like one constant stream of conscious, leaving no room for introspection or interpolation, just flowing out of her mind as ideas and transforming into primal emotion as they left her mouth in the form of a wail.

"What on earth is going on out here?" Chizuru burst in from the bathroom, her body still very much naked and sopping wet, a towel ineffectually wrapped around her upper body. Her expression was harsh, as if expecting a fight, but when she saw it was Natsumi crying it instantly softened.

"Oh Natsumi, Natsumi," Chizuru whispered, moving gracefully to envelop her friend in her enormous cleavage, smothering Natsumi's face therein. Natsumi offered no resistance and simply cried her heart out; her tears streaking from her face onto Chizuru's wet body, her clothes becoming soggy because of the close contact between the two.

"There, there, let it all out, I'm here for you," Chizuru's words were gentle as ever and her friend responded by crying even harder. Chizuru patted Natsumi lightly on the back, like a child, allowing Natsumi to grip her long brown hair tightly with her hands, stifling her cries into Chizuru's shoulder. The two remained locked like this for some time as the morning began to drift into midday.

Kotaro lay on the branch of a large tree; one of many around Mahora Academy City, obscured from view by the large bunches of leaves which also kept him cool with their shade. On the surface his thoughts revolved primarily around the fact that it was midday and not night. He badly wanted to sleep, but knew it would still be sometime before nightfall. He wasn't naked anymore as he had nicked some shorts and a vest to wear from one of the empty dorm rooms. His legs dangled off the sides of the branch whilst his arms were folded on top of his head.

'Natsumi'

There was no more to the thought than that. It just hovered in his head like some irritating kind of bug, buzzing around in circles, impossible to dislodge, creating a dull thudding pain in his head. Thud. Thud. Thud.

It was a deadening feeling, if such an oxymoron was even possible, and Kotaro heard only the sound of the nature around him drifting in one ear and exiting out another. Occasionally this serenity was broken by the chattering of students or teachers moving by beneath him, but Kotaro paid this little to no mind. He couldn't pay them any mind.

Kotaro closed his eyes, hoping to blot out the world around him, trying to find some solace. His thoughts travelled in circles with no purpose or goal whilst his body merely felt weak and tired, as if exhausted with his use of it. It wasn't as miserable a feeling as he had feared, he would be the first to admit, more numb than sorrowful. He supposed that that had something to do with the fact that he was so busy trying to wrap his head around what Natsumi had seen, or heard, that he wasn't focussing as much attention as he ought to upon the incident with Chizuru herself. For this he could offer no explanation, even though he kind of got the feeling that he should feel guilty about it, the truth simply was that when he tried to think coherently; which was proving difficult at the moment, his thoughts almost immediately cycled back towards Natsumi's stricken face staring at him within the room. Her eyes unreadable and her face paler than usual, her one hand over her mouth in an effeminate display of shock or maybe even revulsion…revulsion at him.

Kotaro groaned to himself as he nimbly dropped from his treetop perch, landing effortlessly and with almost no sound upon the paved floor below, the disturbance of fallen leaves the only clue as to his motion. He straightened himself up, patting himself down to get rid of any remaining leaves clinging to his body, as he prepared to move on, hoping to order his thoughts with a walk through parts of the Academy he had never seen before. A gust of air blew through his hair, cold wind rushing over him, causing him to shiver as it passed over. He looked up to the sky for a moment, wondering where the wind, strange on a day with no breeze, had come from.

Kotaro's eyes became lost as he stared at the sky, glazing over as he began not to look so much at the world in front of him, as he did at the world behind him. The canvas of the open sky suddenly looked like a screen and pasted across it were images from his life, playing like reels of film, in black and white, sound following slowly after in a haphazard fashion. It was not beautiful, nor exactly pleasurable and although it was heart-warming it was at the same time biting cold. Nostalgia in the end was the only word he could think to describe it, nostalgia.

He saw the scenes of his life replayed like magic; Chizuru taking a seemingly innocuous puppy in with her, his violent reaction towards it, coming to be accepted as family, all his tribulations with Natsumi and Negi, his crying at the tournament and his pactio with Natsumi. It was all too much for him and, to his anger he found himself stifling back yet more tears.

"What the hell, what kind of loser am I, stop crying already," Kotaro berated himself verbally, tired of crying so much in one day, stabbing his claws into his own palm to try to blot out the pain he felt in his heart. 'Why does it hurt so much? I didn't get physically injured so why does my heart feel like it has a bruise on it?' his thoughts were a useless parade of questions without answers, each petitioning to be brooded over first. Kotaro hated the feeling; it made his gut feel sour, he wished he could just drown it out like he did anything else with the mindless repetition of training but; 'Who would I train with?'

Kaede was out of the question, he wouldn't be able to keep his composure around her, and he hardly knew the other strong girls like Ku Fei or Mana. He supposed there were girls like Yue but that would be an awkward and random request which would probably get in the way of her studying to assist Negi…Negi. 'Negi…no,' Kotaro didn't even need to think about it to know the answer. He couldn't face Negi like this…maybe never again.

"Ah!" Kotaro yelled incoherently, rubbing his hands through his hair frantically as he tried to shake his thoughts out of his head. 'Stop thinking brain!' he comically commanded in a fashion typical of the wannabee idiot-hero. 'Well at least I got the idiot portion down,' Kotaro glumly concluded, falling flat on his back on the path. He didn't really care if anyone found him right now, even though his tail and ears were sticking out, he assumed that with everything weird that went on here anyone not clued in would just assume he was a cosplayer. Either way it didn't matter to him. Nothing really mattered to him. His eyes slowly closed beneath the shade of the tree and sleep came for him mercifully.

"There you go," Chizuru said softly, now clothed in her more simple, yet still scandalous, attire, placing a tea cup before Natsumi on the floor. Natsumi, who was still sniffing through the last of her tears, could only marvel at how industrious Chizuru was. In the short amount of time that she had left Natsumi alone to make tea she had disposed of all the broken crockery, wiped away embarrassing stains and even moved the debris of the table to one small corner of the room. Natsumi gripped at the cup with shaky hands. 'Hot,' she thought, flinching, and hearing the cup hit the ground and spill its contents all over the floor.

Chizuru, almost as if telepathic, was instantly there, a cloth ready as she wiped away the spill, her face beaming. It was too much for Natsumi.

"Chizuru! Why?" A fresh bout of tears flowed out of Natsumi as her small amount of regained poise collapsed like a fleeting dream.

"Natsumi it is alright, it's just some tea, nothing major," Chizuru spoke as if nothing was out of the ordinary, as if Natsumi's tears were just some childish antic. Natsumi couldn't handle it; her mind felt like it was exploding. 'How can she be so calm? How can she be so normal? Doesn't she realize that I heard everything?' blood fizzed through her whole body. She wanted to run a marathon even though she knew she couldn't make it, she didn't care, she didn't care if she collapsed, as long as she did something to…to…to!

"Ah, what a wonderful day, I trust you all had a-"Ayaka's comment died in her throat as she took in the room. Her eyes passed over the crying Natsumi, the smiling Chizuru cleaning the floor, the broken dinner table stuffed into the corner of a room and she slowly processed the data before her.

"Who did this-"

"Ah Inchou, so nice of you to get here, please why don't you help me out," The question, which was an order from Chizuru's mouth, came out quicker than lightening and smoother than silk. Before Ayaka even processed the request she was already being steered towards the kitchen by Chizuru, her query left unfinished, and Natsumi scurrying off to hide her face.

"But Chizuru-"Ayaka tried to protest but before Chizuru it was feeble and she soon found herself dragged away. Natsumi couldn't help but feel a small degree at awe at the way Chizuru handled herself. Perhaps the reason she wanted to be an actress was because she always wished to be able to be like Chizuru? So perfectly capable of handling anyone. 'Then why couldn't she handle Kotaro?' the thought needed an answer. It was with this burning certainty that Natsumi quietly made her way out of the dorm room. She knew Chizuru would disapprove of what she was doing but she couldn't help it. In her heart Natsumi felt this was the right thing to do. She gripped the card she always kept hidden in her breast pocket tight, as if doing so would somehow bring her closer to him, before vanishing across the threshold of the room and into the day.

In a flash of swirling colours and magical lights the pactio was sealed, a kiss with Chizu-nee simply fulfilling the role of being the cherry on top, as Kotaro opened his bleary eyes to stare at his beloved friend. Chizuru kneeled across from him, a small blush evident on her features as she smiled coyly, the card which served as proof of their union dropping down into her hands. Chizuru however remained staring at Kotaro, her eyes not even bothering to take into view her magical gift.

"Chizu-nee, aren't you going to…you know, take a look?" Kotaro stuttered, feeling his face glowing with embarrassment as she kept staring at him, the uncertainty and insecurity he normally kept hidden beneath layers of bravado and stupid boasts melting like spring frost.

"But I'm already looking at what I want to look at," Chizuru said huskily, dropping her card as she inched her face closer for another kiss.

"Chizu-nee," Kotaro gulped, his eyes staring into hers, his lips inches from hers and his body aching for hers.

"Kotaro-kun,"

Kotaro's eyes flashed open in a rapid movement. Someone was coming. He appreciated his senses for detecting their approach so long in advance and the urgency of his situation gave him a chance not to focus on the burning feelings he felt towards his dream. Like a shadow Kotaro was back in the tree, a slight rustling the only sign of his passing, his eyes and ears attentive to the pitter-patter of approaching foot falls. Eventually a figure came into view but…it was a stranger, just some girl on her way somewhere, hurrying along.

Kotaro relaxed, easing himself into a sitting position on the branch. He wasn't quite sure why he had gotten so on guard, paranoia wasn't usually a trait he was associated with, yet he still felt like something, or someone was going to come for him. Kotaro should have been spending his time thinking about what had actually happened, but he was so scared to confront it that he rather tried to distract himself with meaningless and trivial thoughts. It wasn't as effective as drinking your sorrows away but Kotaro had yet to discover that adult way of denying the world and its problems.

Deciding he was too close to the campus of his roommates Kotaro climbed down the tree and began to walk away. He wasn't sure exactly which direction he was taking, or where it would lead him, he was content purely in the knowledge that it was not there but somewhere else.

The sun was shining down brightly and birds were chirping all around. The lack of wind meant that the trees remained stationary with only an occasional leaf dropping forlornly from its high vantage point over the world onto the floor. Kotaro walked on, trying to drink it all in, doing anything to distract his mind from actually thinking about what he was feeling. The sleep had been a boon, the sandman's blessing, but now that he was awake he felt as refreshed as ever, and this was going to be a problem for a boy who wished for the entire day to already be at an end. 'Training, I got do some training,' he knew it to be true, nothing focused him like training, the repetitive monotony of it, which for him was the height of enjoyment, would make all other thoughts and feelings play second fiddle. So Kotaro marched off, hoping to find a secluded spot, to train by himself, the way he had done growing up as a child.

Chizuru drummed her fingers lightly on the kitchen counter, a physical sign of the anxiety she was feeling. Anxious was not a word commonly used to describe Chizuru, in fact she couldn't think of someone ever asking her if she was anxious, so the experience was something altogether new. It was not, however, a pleasurable experience. She had managed to keep Ayaka from inquiring about anything by sending her on errands. In these situations the natural command she held over her peers came in useful for dodging difficult and potentially hazardous situations. 'What am I going to do?' for Chizuru the question was like a maggot wriggling around in her head. Her feelings on the matter were also as of yet unclear even to her so she had no idea how to talk about it. On the one hand she felt she should tell someone, after all it was a serious crime and her personal proximity to Kotaro should not necessarily protect him from justice, yet at the same time she just couldn't imagine what life would be like if she did tell someone.

Chizuru gazed out her window, watching as the afternoon slowly set on, wondering where in the vast expanse of the Academy Kotaro and Natsumi may be. She had hoped that Natsumi would have remained waiting for her but was unsurprised to find that she had snuck out whilst Chizuru was handling Ayaka. 'What should I do?' she had taken in the poor boy to raise as her own, it had been the happiest moment of her life, and she had thought she had done a good job. She had given a child who had no conception of family a family to stay with, she had watched him make friends and even maybe gain a lover in Natsumi, she had watched as he matured and grew into a fine young man and yet…yet…'Where did I go wrong? Did I go wrong? How could he have come to think so badly of me? No that's not the problem, when did we become so alienated from each other that he could mistake my feelings? Wasn't I clear enough? What changed so much to make him feel so scared about me?'

"Alright I've organized for a new table to be brought in tomorrow so now could you please explain to me what happened-" Ayaka's words were cut off when Chizuru promptly stood up and brushed past her for the open door, determination set on her brow, her wavy hair swaying behind her.

"Chizuru! What went on here, I am your roommate and deserve to have an answer, was it that brat Kotaro's fault" Ayaka's face and tone were imperious in a way only she could muster. Chizuru paused at the threshold of the door and room, turning her face sideways to get a glimpse of Ayaka. The rich socialite stood with her hands braced upon her hips, a look of stony indignation crowning her features, her eyes brimming with their usual confidence.

"I'm sorry, you're absolutely right, but I have neither the time nor the patience to explain right now, just wait please and I will return shortly," Chizuru gave a polite bow, an indication that Ayaka should drop the subject, before vanishing out into the hallway.

Ayaka was left standing, confused, for a short while as she stared at the open door. Eventually, when it became clear Chizuru was not returning Ayaka closed the door and went to sit on the floor. There, after making a furtive examination of her surroundings, her eyes ducking left and right, before closing the curtains to the room lest any peeping tom came around, she delicately, as if it might break, removed her pactio card from between her cleavage. Her face blushing at the mere sight of it, she kissed the small object and whispered words of endearment and devotion to the symbol of her love for Negi. The crystal of their love as it was.

Meanwhile, making good time, Chizuru was searching for her friend and Kotaro. She wasn't sure exactly where they were but she was confident that she would be able to find them. It was what she liked to call motherly intuition.

His hands moved in a flurry too fast for the untrained eye to see as he practiced drills and katas. In a secluded back alley, frequented only by stray cats and dogs, Kotaro was attempting to train. The attempting part had to be stressed since the small spaces involved, and the fact that he did not want to draw attention to himself meant that it was practically impossible for him to do anything more than a few physical drills. Considering the training he was used to this left him feeling completely bored. He wasn't even getting tired let alone losing himself in the monotony of it. In frustration he gave a slightly stronger punch, only to watch as it went right through the brick wall of the alley, leaving a cavity into an unused storehouse. He fell back into a sitting position with a groan. Nothing felt like it was going right, even the training was pathetic. He just wanted someone to do something to make the day go by. Every minute that he spent idly he couldn't help thoughts unwanted from popping into his head; 'What did I do? Should I go back? Did Chizu-nee tell someone? Am I evil!' for Kotaro thinking could sometimes be more dangerous than fighting. He picked himself up off the ground lazily, casting his eyes upward to the sun. 'At least its late afternoon, soon it will be night time and I won't need to keep myself hidden like this,' as Kotaro thought this to himself he decided to find a nicer place to sit and watch the sun set behind the horizon.

Ambling away yet again he couldn't help feeling like an aimless stray dog, moving from cover to cover, no real goal or point in mind just moving because…because…'Because there's nowhere left to go' his thoughts grimly concluded.

'Come on, come on where is he?' Natsumi thought to herself as she ran across the campus. She had at first been walking along but as midday turned to dusk, and she realized the true scope of the enormous campus, she had begun running in a blind panic to find Kotaro. She could feel her chest was clenched around her heart, yet even this did nothing to allay its pounding. Natsumi was scared, very scared, but for the life of her she couldn't tell what it was that was scaring her. All she knew was that she had to find Kotaro and fast. 'Or else…'

"Hey, Natsumi?" Natsumi was in such an automatic state the when she initially heard the voice she didn't even stop. A few seconds later, after her brain registered that someone had been talking to her, she attempted a quick stop but, like most things in her life, found herself failing catastrophically.

"Ah!" She yelled out as she tripped over her own feet, her tail bone hitting the pathway with a painful sound as she skid on the stones. Despite this Natsumi found that it hadn't really hurt much at all, the bruise on her heart made the physical pain feel quite inconsequential.

"Hey are you okay?" The voice was close this time and, now that she had slowed down, Natsumi could identify whose it was.

"Asuna?" Natsumi turned her head to face her fellow classmate who was approaching her. Asuna was garbed in casual clothes, unsurprising as class had ended quite some time ago. Natsumi couldn't help but feel, by contrast, silly for still being in her school uniform. Then again she felt silly compared to almost every single girl in her class…except the twins. Asuna's eyes had genuine concern but at the same time Natsumi got the feeling that she had been in a rush somewhere.

"Hey are you-"

"I'm fine thanks," Natsumi cut Asuna off as she briskly stood up and dusted off her skirt. She bit back a sudden choking feeling and turned abruptly, intending to be off on her way before Asuna could say something.

"Wait up, it's getting dark out already, we have a curfew, remember?" Asuna quickly caught up with Natsumi, standing in front of her in order to block any path of retreat, a confused look on her face as she tried to discern what it was that Natsumi was clearly trying to hide.

Natsumi and Asuna did not have a long history of association. Indeed Natsumi generally thought of Asuna as something of a main heroine thrust into a world of adventure and romance whilst she, Natsumi now, was a plebeian born to live an average life with an average lot. Although this could have left some people feeling hurt or envious, and maybe Natsumi did feel a little of those things, she was in general content. After all someone had to live an ordinary life or else the term extra ordinary could not exist. If there was no normal then there could be no super normal. In this case points of reference were absolute. That being the case Natsumi generally felt awkward in conversations with Asuna, although this might have had something to do with the fact that this was the only real conversation she could remember having with Asuna in her life, and this awkwardness would normally make Natsumi meek and shy, even more than she naturally was, but today she felt…different about it.

"I'm sorry but I got to go do something, I'll worry about the curfew for myself," Natsumi walked past Asuna, her face set in a determined look, her voice sounding just a little bit angry. It probably came out more hurtful than was intended, but Natsumi was unconcerned by the fact, she felt what could only be described as a little bit of pride crawling up her spine.

"Hey, come one, I'm just trying to help, you don't want to get in trouble do you?" Asuna was now marching alongside Natsumi, just a little bit behind, effortlessly matching pace with her. Natsumi grumbled in her head, she knew there was no way she could outrun Asuna, but she also didn't want to have to deal with any additional baggage right now.

"Look Asuna," Natsumi rounded on her, causing Asuna's eyes to widen in surprise, as Natsumi, who usually looked only comfortable with herself if she was hiding in a corner, looked at her with an expression she was more used to seeing on…well, her own face actually.

"What?" Asuna asked slowly, puzzled as to how she had offended the girl, and wondering how long this might take. After all she hadn't seen Konoeka and Setsuna in a little while and was on her way to meet them in the dorms now.

Natsumi's mouth opened, but no words came out, a look of anger briefly passed over her face but it was soon replaced with one of frustration. Asuna watched as the external indicators of an internal conflict caused Natsumi to go from looking convicted to defeated. Eventually she just hung her shoulders and blandly said;

"Don't you have something you should be doing with Negi?" the way Natsumi said it made Asuna feel like it was more of a plea than a question. 'What is up with her? Why does she want me to leave her alone so much? If that's how she feels then I guess she's on her own, Konoeka and Setsuna are probably waiting for me anyway,'

Natsumi groaned, 'Stupid! Why can't she just leave,' as both girls stood, unsure of how to progress next and the awkward tension between them lingered. Asuna couldn't understand why she felt like Natsumi was accusing her of something and Natsumi couldn't understand why she felt like Asuna deserved such accusation. A mutually negative bubble had encompassed the two and seemed not to be nearing a bursting point but rather just continuing to grow bigger and bigger.

The sun was halfway down the horizon, the sky was red in coloration, and the temperature was beginning to drop. Inside her head the sudden moment of silence was all it took for Natsumi to make a revelation. As she stared glumly at the visage of Asuna, contemplating over how great this girl's life was with all her power, all her adventure, all her romance, all her cleavage and all her friends, Natsumi realized what she had been scared of. "I'm such a dummy,' she thought inside her head, a sad smile slowly creeping along the corners of her mouth.

"Natsumi are you okay?" Asuna's voice was genuinely earnest, as her features became creased with worry and she reached out a hand to touch Natsumi. Natsumi recoiled from the offered hand, taking a step back or two, looking at Asuna with wide and enigmatic eyes. Eventually, after Asuna let her outstretched hand fall to her side, and Natsumi positioned herself along the horizon, Asuna began to feel like she was missing something. Natsumi lowered her head, until Asuna could no longer see her face, and just as Asuna prepared to speak again, concern for her classmate rapidly building up, Natsumi spoke.

"Asuna, you've got a lot of great friends, you know?" The tone of her voice was strange; as if she realized that this was a happy statement but hadn't got the memo on what happiness actually sounded like. To Asuna the voice was like a chocolate with some bitter filling in the centre. Although the exterior was pleasant inside she sensed, well, bitterness.

"Yeah, I know," Asuna replied with a nonchalant shrug, eliciting a short giggle from Natsumi.

"Do you really? Well that's good, someone with as many friends as you should know about it. It's a wonderful thing you know, friends, a person can really be defined by them. I mean, in a way, we become dependent on them don't we?" Asuna couldn't tell who the question was directed at, herself or Natsumi, but she could tell that something was wrong.

"Natsumi come with me, let's go find Negi-sensei and we can talk about this-" Asuna didn't mean to hurt with her words, and there was no way she could have known that her sentence would be painful, but this did not alleviate the fact that Natsumi suddenly felt a sharp stabbing pain in her gut.

"Asuna-san you just don't understand," Natsumi was frustrated but Asuna just couldn't understand why. 'Did I do something wrong?'

"Natsumi look, clearly your upset just come with me and lets go find a teacher, maybe you'd prefer to talk to Chizuru," Asuna was not equipped to deal with these kind of situations but, as was characteristic of her, she was to bull headed to give up on someone clearly in need.

"Asuna-san I just want to be left alone right now, please understand, that what makes you feel better does not necessarily make me feel better, I do not want to talk to a teacher, I do not want to talk to Negi-sensei and I definitely do not want to talk to Chizu-nee," Natsumi raised her head to look at Asuna, the look of conviction back and this time settled in for good. Asuna couldn't help but wish she was Negi in this position 'Darn brat always knows how to make people feel better and here I am trying to help Natsumi, I barely know her, someone help!'

"I will take things from here," Neither Natsumi or Asuna had to turn to identify the speaker. His voice was unique throughout all of Mahora Academy.

"Fate," Asuna commented, watching as the diminutive teacher strolled past her with his hands in his pockets, positioning himself between the two girls, glancing at Asuna with one large cold eye.

"Please return to your dormitory, I will take care of this student," Fate's voice was inflectionless and Asuna couldn't help the fact that she had a natural instinct to distrust it but, on the other hand, 'Negi says we have to trust him so, then, I guess'

Asuna gave a curt nod, took one last look at the now confused, and very red in the face Natsumi, before pelting off in the direction of her dormitory to meet with Setsuna and Konoeka as night approached.

Fate turned to face Natsumi fully. The girl took a step back, gulping, involuntarily remembering that this thing and its compatriots had once threated all their lives. She was shaking she knew, being alone with him, as night approached, she couldn't help but feel suspicious. Fate raised a single eyebrow in a quizzical motion, as if confused by her reaction, before giving a light grin.

"There is no need to be afraid, I am not here to punish you for violating your curfew, I want to talk to you about something far more important," Fate removed his hands from his pockets, crossing his arms in front of his chest, as he examined Natsumi.

"Talk? About what?"

"Kotaro-kun," Natsumi felt her blood freeze.

The wooden bench made a comfortable perch for him as he watched the last glint and ray of the sun dip away. Night had now set upon the Academy and the students were back inside their dormitories. Although noise still drifted through the grounds it was limited to certain areas leaving everything else, like the park Kotaro had chosen, empty and abandoned. Kotaro was now alone and not afraid to stand up straight. He leapt off the bench and stared up at the moon with wide eyes. Just a few years ago this would have been normal for him. Alone, in a park, a bench for a bed and gazing at the moon in wonder, the moon was something to look forward to as it signalled the darkness in which he could move freely, his tail and ears swinging free, not constrained by the world in which he had to hide in plain sight.

Night time was like an entire different world for him. He had forgotten what it felt like because he had come to feel…feel.

"Dammit," and the feelings were back again. It was like someone had struck him in the gut, his stomach churning despite being empty, and no matter how long he waited the pain always remained. When he was distracted it was almost as if there was nothing there but whenever he thought of;

"Dammit!" Kotaro growled, falling on his hands and knees on the grass and ground, claws digging into the soil, his eyes screwed shut. But the images came whether he wanted them to or not; Natsumi always so insecure and awkward, bumbling along in everything she did, Chizuru tall and intimidating yet she shone like the sun, generating all the warmth he would ever need, taking care of him and loving him like…like…like a mother, something Kotaro never had or would have and the there were also images of Negi.

"Dammit! Dammit! Dammit! Dammit!" Kotaro slashed at the ground in frenzy, his moon forgotten, as everything faded away into red.

"How do you know?" Was what Natsumi asked first, her eyes wide with astonishment, as Fate stood across from her calmly.

"Unimportant, suffice to say no-one told me, but that I have my own ways of picking up what happens at this Academy. I believe there is only one other aware of this event, other than yourselves of course, but she is so uninterested in anything that does not pertain to Negi-kun that she will not act upon it at all," Fate responded, sitting down on the pathway and motioning for Natsumi to do the same. She didn't budge.

"If you wish to find Kotaro-kun I will take you there but first we must talk," Fate sighed quietly, motioning once again for Natsumi to sit down with him. She hesitantly slid unto the floor, sitting opposite her new teacher.

"Very well let us begin at the beginning, eh? What happened earlier, just to clarify for you, is that Kotaro attempted to rape Chizuru. Whether or not he succeeded is something only Chizuru can determine so please do not ask me. Now you want to know why Kotaro would do such a thing or, more precisely, how he could since you presumed him to be incapable of such evil, am I correct?" The utter frankness of Fate's words left Natsumi incapable of doing anything but just nodding. Fate took this as a sign to continue.

"The answer is, of course, jealousy. Jealousy motivated the action and is motivating his refusal to return as well. In general this problem can be boiled down to jealousy. The question which you should be asking yourself is-"

"Jealous of what?" Natsumi blurted out, her voice returning to her, her eyes desperate as she leaned forward. She needed to know what could possibly be so terrible as to motivate her Kotaro, her friend, her roommate, the boy who had saved her life so many times, who fought on harder and harder even though he was outmatched and even though his own life left him with no real reason to do so, she needed to know her whole body screamed with it.

"Isn't it obvious," Fate's facial expression was almost…pitying. Natsumi shook her head in confusion 'How could I know?' she didn't understand what fate was saying, what was obvious about it, what could be obvious about it at all.

Fate sighed;

"Kotaro-kun is jealous, unsurprisingly, of Negi-kun and, I must note, his jealousy is justified, but not his actions, Kotaro-kun can simply not accept the fact, understandably, that he inferior to Negi in all aspects of existence barring being a slightly less terrible singer,"

"Oh," was all Natsumi said as she felt her shoulders sag alongside her and her heart give up.

A short distance away, lying on his back, breathing heavily, an enormous cavity where the park had once been, Kotaro stared up at the moon. It was beautiful and it could never leave him no matter where he went or what he did. It never judged and it never condemned. It was perfect for him. Kotaro was so tired he didn't even realize he was howling to the moon, joining the strays of the world in a choir of appreciation to the light of their world, the world of night. This was what being a stray felt like, Kotaro had almost forgotten how nice it was.

One other person was listening to the howling of dogs that night. She had a special appreciation for them since it was a stray dog, found on a moonlit night, which had changed her world. Chizuru followed the direction of the howling.

Mephiles: Is Kotaro a popular character? I don't really know. Regardless upon inspection of the manga I must comment that Kotaro is, I'm guessing, not going to be very important anymore. I mean he has no political influence and he is so far behind Negi in terms of power that he doesn't even make a useful sidekick. I guess that kinda makes sense since Ken wants to introduce Fate as Negi's new buddy and I kinda have to agree with that choice. Even when they were enemies Fate had more of a dynamic with Negi than Kotaro did. The two just never seemed to have a deep bond. My opinion of course :). Anyway I still hope that Kotaro and Chizuru make a pactio with each other soon.

By the way thanks to anyone who reviewed, I really didn't expect any, thanks for humoring me. I know I am not a particularly good writer so it means a lot. Also Darkenning I do not know if you got my private message because if you did I would be interested in your response and if you did not please let me know so that I can repeat it. Thanks!