I do not own Phineas and Ferb or the book Alice in Wonderland.

Down the Perry Hole

Candace awoke the next morning to see Perry sleeping on the end of her bed. Deciding to take this moment to get ready (even if she didn't agree with the early hour) she slipped out from under her covers. She got dressed in her usual outfit, left her room, went down the stairs and into the kitchen.

The sun streamed through the windows, causing her to squint slightly against the light. She grabbed some fruit from the bowl on the counter and took a bite of her apple. She wandered into the living room, her mind whirring. She had to figure out how she was going to go about this. She couldn't hang around Perry all day, after all. He might get suspicious. Uh…if a platypus could get suspicious.

Her mother was out at her cooking class, where she would be for the most of the day. Her dad was visiting her grandparents in England, having been there for the past week.

Candace grinned. She had the entire day to herself.

A familiar chattering noise caused Candace to hastily toss her half-finished apple into the garbage can by the kitchen door and do a superhero leap to get behind the couch. She peered over the top as Perry scuttled across the hardwood floor and then through his little dog hatch in the front door.

Candace quickly moved out from behind the couch and bolted out the sliding glass door and into the backyard. The redhead crouched behind the tree and blinked against the sunlight, trying to keep her vision as clear as possible. Perry came through the backyard gate and stopped in front of the house.

He didn't do anything for a moment, causing Candace to frown in puzzlement. What he did next, however, caused her jaw to drop.

Perry looked around twice and stood up, on two legs. He whipped a hat out from behind his back and put it on his head. Then, without warning, he disappeared through a hatch in the side of the house.

Candace slid down the rough bark of the tree and buried her face in her hands. So it is true. I'm insane. I guess it was bound to happen sooner or later.

But haven't you seen Perry in that same hat before? her second, calmer inner-voice pointed out. And you thought he was a secret agent once.

But I had been hallucinating! Or, I thought I had been hallucinating.

Candace bit her lip and slowly approached the spot Perry had disappeared into. She poked the same spot her platypus had touched and jumped back when a tunnel was revealed.

Whoa.

She thought Perry had a girlfriend he snuck off to see. She wasn't expecting this whole espionage deal. Secret entrances, double-lives-it was all something from a movie. But not all of her questions were answered (in fact, they only tripled) and she needed to find out more information.

"Only one way to find out." Candace gulped nervously. "This is kinda like Alice in Wonderland. I hope I don't meet someone who wants to chop my head off."

Closing her eyes, she jumped down the hole.

...

Perry sat down in his chair, half-listening to what his superior officer was saying to him. It was the same thing every day. Dr. Doofenshmirtz stole blah blah blah, his hideout is yada-yada, go stop him.

It was a routine he knew well, so he thought he was allowed to daydream every now and then during the briefings.

A shrill scream suddenly echoed through the base and Major Monogram jumped in surprise. "Carl! Was that you?"

"No sir." Carl joined Monogram on the screen in curiosity. Perry frowned as he struggled to remember why the scream was so familiar to him.

His eyes widened in shock when the answer hit him. Oh please no.

Candace shrieked as she whizzed down the dark tube before striking something hard. Groaning, she struggled to gain focus and get her bearings.

She was in a room with a bunch of flashing gizmos and weapons. But what made her jaw drop in shock-again-was the large television screen that showed an equally shocked old man with white hair, moustache and unibrow. Perry, her pet, was gawking at her as if he couldn't believe what was happening.

Join the club, thought Candace, unable to form any words at the moment.

"A real girl!" the geeky guy with glasses cheered happily. The old guy beside him sighed in annoyance and shoved the geek out of the picture.

"Who are you?" he demanded.

"C-Can-Candace F-Flynn," she stammered.

The man turned to Perry in disbelief. "Your owner?"

Perry nodded wearily. Candace bit her lip as she hesitantly raised her hand, which seemed like an appropriate thing to do. Perry smirked slightly and nodded at her.

Candace blushed. "Um, okay, guess I'll start with the basics. What's your name? And uh, where am I?"

He studied her for a long moment before sighing. "Well, I suppose there's no way out of this. This is O.W.C.A. The Organization Without a Cool Acronym. We are a secret agent base that defeats evil all over the Tri-State Area. Your pet happens to be one of our best agents."

Candace gaped before turning to Perry, who was smiling slightly. "So...I'm not crazy?"

That's debatable, Perry thought in amusement before shaking his head.

Candace sighed in relief. "Oh good. I mean, I should be freaking out right now, but with my brothers I'm used to odd things happening. Wait, you still haven't told me your name."

"I am Major Francis Monogram. Agent P's superior officer."

"I'm the intern, Carl!" Carl poked his head back in the picture and waved. Candace cautiously waved back. Monogram growled in exasperation and shoved Carl away.

"Go do my laundry or something! A-hem. Sorry about that. He's harmless, just overeager. But we have a little problem. No one is supposed to know about this organization except for the employees. You are a part of Agent P's host party. And in the event Perry is discovered...he'll have to be relocated."

Candace paled. "Wait! I promise I won't tell anyone! Perry can keep his job and stay with us! I mean, everyone already thinks I'm crazy. They wouldn't believe me anyways!"

Monogram studied her for a long moment. "You must do one thing to prove your devotion to O.W.C.A."

Candace felt relief flow through her. She wouldn't lose Perry and she had an awesome secret to keep for herself. "Anything!"

"You have to escort Perry on his mission and foil his enemy's evil plans. Without getting caught."