"… Well, now what?" Tameera asked, peering around the Sue-less forest. The only sounds were birds and a bear mauling some presumably-innocent bunnies (circle of life, people). Tameera looked around a bit, then quickly averted her eyes from the fluffy carnage. She looked at the sky, which was mostly blue with a few small clouds around the edges of her viewpoint. I think they're called cirrus, right? Or is that cumulus? I'm not entirely sure…
[Shut up, for the love of god, shut up and move the goddamned plot along, before someone flames this!]
Well you don't have to be so snippy about it.
[I will end you]
"Hello? I need a plot twist."
"WHAT'S THE MAGIC WORD?"
"Parsnip Pudding with Sprinkles on top."
"PLEASE STAND BY WHILE WE FULFILL YOUR REQUEST."
Cue the Jeopardy theme music.
Approximately five minutes later, Tameera heard the flap of leathery dragon wings, distant but approaching.
"Knew it," she muttered, checking her bag to see that she still had her supplies (If you're interested, her 'supplies' included, but were not limited to, a pack of gum, a Swiss army knife, the blue lightsaber which had been exiled to her bag for disobedience and lack of awesomeness, a kiwi bird named Steve, a notebook, a dozen or so pencils, a bookmark, some hair ties, an Irish Pennywhistle, a library card, and several grenades I have no idea how she gets through Customs with).
A red dragon landed roughly 10 feet from her. The helmeted man on top of it jumped down to speak with her. Yes, it's Murtagh. Yes, he was not pleased to see Tameera (See 'Fun Ways To Irk', and 'Tameera goes to Alagaesia' for the various reasons why). Yes, he tried and failed to decapitate her. Yes, there was a hilarious scene involving fruitcake and 3 tissue boxes. Wait… whoops, my bad, scratch the last one. That was what happened at a party I went to last Sunday. I had no idea flamingoes liked Pepsi so much…
[You know what? Fuck you. I'm getting a new narrator]
[Where were we? Oh, right. Tameera met Murtagh, he started to have an emotional meltdown, she informed him about the sue- oops, she hasn't done that yet]
"Murtagh, there's a Sue loose in Alagaesia."
"So? What does that have to do with me? I don't care about some stupid Mary-Sue. Satan's Spawn can do whatever the hell she wants, so long as it's annoying you."
"She's one of your fangirls."
"I'LL HELP, I'LL HELP, OH GOD, JUST KEEP IT AWAY FROM ME, I'LL HELP!" He started crying. Wow. Severe emotional scarring, perhaps? I have no idea what from. Honest.
"Spectacular. Let's just go get Angela and Solembum and we'll be off then, hmm?"
"*whimper*"
"I'll take that as a yes. By the way, Thorn is now our designated ride."
Do I have any say in this whatsoever?
"Don't be silly, of course you don't. Now, can you please grab your rider and maybe get him to stop twitching? It's rather distracting."
-A rather long and arduous flight with plenty of awkward silences and fear later-
"Yay we're here!"
Get away from me. Tameera ignored him and continued on to Angela's purple tent. She started to knock, then jumped back as Angela walked out of the tent.
"Hi!"
"You are doomed."
"There's a Sue loose."
"I'll kill you after her. I do have priorities."
"'Kay. Have you seen Solembum?"
"Yeah, he's in the tent, trembling and pretending he doesn't exist."
"That's nice." After a long and somewhat redundant series of events, the four of them, Murtagh, Angela, Solembum, and Tameera, were on the red dragon. That was when Angela asked the crucial question:
"Does anyone have the slightest idea where we're going?"
A/N: An update? Surely not!