Hey guys I hope you like chapter 1, it's a little rough because I dont have anyone helping me edit, I will soon though !Also I would love it if people would review my story thanks! Also the format was off on the last chapter im very very sorry! Please review at the End of the chapter!
August 1st 2011 *6 Weeks Later*
This was the third time today I puked and the ninth time this week. I'm not stupid their could only be one explaination, But I tried to forget about it. But today I'm going to take the test, But first i'm going to talk to my Renee, theirs no one else who will understand more then her she had me and Emmett at 16...I got up from the toilet and brushed my teeth, I tried to fix myself as much I could and walked out of my bath room and room and went down stairs...
"mom?" My voice nearly cracked... I looked around the living room and Emmett was in their.
"Yeah sweetie?" My mom looked at me and put her book down
"Whats wrong Belly" Emmett gonna kill me, if not me he'll kill Edward.
"Emmett could I talk too mom alone?" he nodded and left. I started to get scared and shake.
"What's wrong?" my mom said putting her arm around me and sitting me down on the couch with her.
"You know how you had me and Emmett young?" I asked. She nodded.
"Remember how you said you would never be mad if i made that mistake?" She nodded again. Then she realized what I was talking about, her face went pail white.
"I never thought It would happen to you..Maybe Emmett but not you. You told me you and Edward were being careful not to long ago. I'm sorry I'm just a little disapointed, I never wanted you to make the same mistakes I did, I don't regret not having you both, I just thought you would learn from my mistakes.."
"I'm so sorry mom I never mean't for this to happen." I cried. I don't think I'll be able to handle a baby, but their is no way I could kill a child for my stupid mistake.
"Shhh, It's okay.I'm not gonna do the same thing my mom did. I'm going to be here for you. Are you keeping the baby?" Was I ? Its me and Edwards first child?Was I ready? What came out of my mouth shocked me more then anything...
"Yes."I looked at mom she seemed disapointed but trying to be strong for me. My mom was always understanding, she's helped me threw everything, but would she with this?
"Bella I am here for whatever you choose, I can't make you not do it because me and you father did it, and we had twins."crap I have to tell my dad. I don't know what Charlie will think what if he wants me to get rid of the baby? What if he sends me away. I can't stop thinking the worse. I'm so stupid I shouldn't have drank that night, I should've stayed home, or went to the movies instead. My life is gonna come crashing down in as little as seven and half months.
"Mom whats dad gonna think?" thats when we heard Charlie clear his throat...Crap. I just wanted to crawl In a hole and die.
"Dad.."I was cut off by him shaking his head.
"Bella I already heard.I thought you knew better.I thought I tought you better! Isabella you and Edward shouldn't even be having sex! You're only seventeen!" I've never seen my dad so disapointed in me...
"I'm so sorry" I cried. My dad looked at me with so much disapointment. I saw Emmett at the top of the stair case. He knew, he looked like he was about the cry for me too. He turned around and walked back. I disapointed my brother.
"Charlie! if we did it, Bella can. We need to support her unlike what your parents did." My mom got up from the couch and left the room and came back with coffee in a to-go cup.
"Well first things first we need to get you a test, then tell Esme and Carlisie" Renee said. Crap Edwards dad is gonna freak out. His dad was very focused on Edwards future. Don't get me wrong I love Carlisie, but he can be very strict when it comes to his kids futures other then that he's the most caring man, but what if he doesn't let me and Edward stay together... What if Edward wants nothing to do with me?
My mom grabbed her purse and keys, and we made our way to the car , and she pulled out her phone and dialed a number.
"Esme are you busy? No? Okay I think you should come with me and Bella we need to tell you something... Were outside in the car. Okay bye" My mom closed her cell phone and looked at me. My face dropped I wasn't ready to tell Edwards mom... I mean she was my god mother but still.
I saw Esme run out of her house. I don't know how I'm suppose to tell Esme , I loved her dearly and I don't want her to be disappointed in me she's not just Edwards mom she's my godmother and I trust her with everythingg . I especially don't want her disapointed in Edward...Edward is her pride and joy. I started to cry again.
" Hello ladies,whats wrong Bella?"She said getting in the car and turned around to face me. I started to notice the tears started to fall even harder now.
" Esme... Bella might be pregnant." I was kinda glad my mom was the one who told her. I looked over to her and noticed all the color left her face. I'm ruining Edwards life, maybe I should just put it up for adoption..
"Well their is no turning back now, all we can do now is to help Bella and Edward, And be their for our grandchild." She choked up when she said Edwards name and grand child. I felt so bad I was ruining her sons life... He was gonna go to dartmouth next year and and I was gonna go with him if we got in.
"I'm so sorry Esme... I'll put the baby up for adoption, I won't let anything ruin Edwards life, I promise."I said fighting back the tears. I couldn't let this get in the way of Edwards life.
"Bella, I think you and Edward would be able to handle this. We have a lot of time till we can figure this all out, try not to stress out its bad for the baby." Esme said and grabbed my hand. I didn't even realize my mom had already started driving, we were already half way to the pharmacy.
The rest of the car ride was silent, I just kept looking out the window watching trees go by. We finally got to the pharmacy and I realized Mike Newton was working the register...
"Mom , Mike's working.." I whispered too her.
"Oh, I'll go up and buy it then..." She sighed. We walked down the isle with Pregnancy tests and my mom grab aleast one of every test.
"Mom I don't think I'll pee that much..." I laughed, It kinda felt good to laugh.
"Oh don't worry you will." my mom looked at me and we made our way to the check out counter. I saw Mike and I got a little scared, He just stared at me. My mom put all the tests on the counter and she looked at Esme.
"Oh I hope I'm actually pregnant again, I mean my babies are leaving next year the house would be so empty" My mom said to Esme, and Esme just smiled at her and hugged her.. They really know how to put on an act...
"Bella wouldn't you love to be a big sister?" Esme looked at me and smiled.
"Oh yeah totally." I said putting on an act, Mike looked at us and laughed.
" Well Mrs. Swan if you are I want to congragulate you" Mike smiled, and finshed checking out the items, I looked over to the candies and had a sudden craving for kit kats. I looked over to my mom and she knew exactly what I was thinking, She grabbed two king sized kit kats and I laughed.
"Is that all ladies?" Mike asked and my mom nodded her head and gave him the cash. We walked out the pharmacy and made our way to the car. I looked over to my mom and saw her smiling.
"Mom why are you smiling?" I asked.
"Because theres a possibilty I'm gonna be a grammy" She started to tear up.
"Mom please don't cry I'm sorry." I seriously don't want to be crying this whole pregnancy.
"Bells its not that, I'm kinda happy." She smiled, and unlocked the car doors. We all got in and made our way back wasn't as quite this time. Esme and my mom were talking about what to do for the nursery...They seemed so excited.. I wish I was that excited, but I was scared, What if Edward doesn't want it...
"Esme?"I asked.
"Yeah sweetie?" She turned around in her seat.
"What do think Edwards gonna think? Do you think he won't want it..?"I was so close to crying...AGAIN. Seriously how am I gonna survive nine months of crazy emotions..
"Sweetie, Edward has dreamed about having a family with you since the day you two started dating. I know it might be a little soon, but sweetie things happen for a reason." Esme's thought reasured me.
We pulled in to my drive way and we ran into my house, and Esme called Alice, Well my mom ran into the fridge and grabbed two water bottles and told me to chug them back. After about ten minutes Alice was here, And I had to go pee really bad. I went into the bathroom with six different pregnacy tests.I was supprised that I was able to pee enough for all the tests. Now to wait ten minutes. I walked out of my bathroom and my mom started the timer. Esme and my mom went into the living room and sat on the couch. Well me and Alice sat outside the bathroom.
"Are you scared?" Alice asked. We were both sitting outside the bathroom with our heads against the wall. I turned my head and faced her.
"Of course I am. To be honest not one part of me is excited at all. I'm completely scared" I said, I rested my head back against the wall. Alice reached over and grabbed my hand and looked at me.
"Bella whatever you decide I will always be here for you, you're my best friend." Alice slid over and hugged me, we pulled apart when we heard the buzzer. Me, my mom, Alice and Esme ran into the bathroom. I picked up one pregnancy test after another...All positive .Its official in such little time I was gonna be mom..
"You can do this Bella"My mom hugged my shoulders and I cried.
"Mom , What is everyone gonna say..?" I said.
"Maybe we can homeschool you for a little bit and then you can go back after you have the baby?" Alice grabbed my hand and tried to make me feel better.
"No,I want to go to school." I told them.
I pulled away from everyone and walked up stairs to my bedroom. I started to get the depressed feeling again, the one that led to all my problems. I tried to fight the feeling as much as I could. The urge to hurt myself wouldn't leave. I got up and went into my bathroom and locked the door... The razor was taped under my sink. I grabbed it and I staired at it...I need to stop for the baby, but the urge was so difficult to stop... I took the razor and threw it in the garbage..I walked out of my bathroom and felt like a zombie. I don't know how I'm suppose to tell Edward or his dad...I lost my train of thought when I heard a light tap on the door.
"Come in." I chocked out.. I didn't realize how dry my throat was.
"Hey Bells" Alice said entering my room, along with my mom and Esme. I sat up against my headboard, and staired at my wall.
"Bella we decided we were gonna have family dinner at my house tonight so we can tell Edward and Carlisle." Esme said and sat on the bed with me and hugged me.
"Carlisle is gonna kill me and Edward , he never wanted this for his son"I cried.
"Sweetie Carlisle will be fine I promise, He'll probably be a little mad, but nothing to major.. I promise."Esme rubbed her hand on my back. I looked at her and smiled a little. I love how caring she is, You can clearly tell where Edward gets his personality from.
"Come on Bells we gotta get ready the dinner is at 6:30" My said, and I looked over at the clock, its already 5:30. I got up and Alice rapped her hand around my back. Our moms left the room and Alice picked out what I was wearing. I felt like a zombie. I tried to get my self Alice picked out my clothes I went in my bathroom and washed my face. My eyes were all red and puffy, I grabbed my make up bag and puts some on.I put on a light coat of mascara and lip gloss. I started to feel alittle bit better. I walked out of my room and Alice smiled at me.
"You look great" she smiled softly at me. She handed me my outfit , It was the one of the matching summer dresses we bought a couple weeks ago. Mine was blue and Alices was yellow and Rose's was pink. I walked back into my bathroom and got dress. I looked at my stomach, It still looked completly flat, but the lower part of stomach was just a little bloated barely noticable...Thes actually a baby in my stomach.
"Alice!" I yelled out and put my hands on my ran into the bathroom and looked at me nervously.
"Look"I said pointing to my stomach. Her eyes widend and she reached out and put her hands on my stomach.
"I'm gonna be auntie" Her eyes filled with tears and she smiled.
"Alice will you call Rose and tell her to come over here.. I want to tell her" I looked at Alice, and she picked her phone up and dialed her.
"Hey Rosey come over Bella's, she wants to tell you see you in five! Oh wait bring your pink dress we bought a couple weeks ago, We're having a family dinner tonight. Oh and tell Jasper to come! Okay see you soon!"Alice hung up the phone and looked at me.
"Bells I'm gonna go run next door and grab my dress, I'll be back in a second." with that Alice ran out of room and I dived on to my bed and staired at the ceiling, I reached down to my stomach and put my hands on the barely noticable bump.. I'm gonna be a mom. Its so weird to think that this time next year I'll already have a baby. Something that me and Edward created, I bet the baby will look just like him. It will probably have his beautiful green eyes, and his beautiful bronze hair. All I can picture is a mini Edward running around...
"Bella?" I looked over at the door way and saw Rose, she was already dressed and ready, her hair was in loose ringlets and her make up was very soft.
"Hey Rosie" I smiled at her. She walked over to my bed and sat on the edge of my bed and looked at me.
"So whats up?" she asked, I'm going to have to tell her.
"Rose...I'm pregnant..."I tried not to cry. I looked over at her and she was shocked.. and then she smiled.
"Oh my gosh...Bella, how far along are you?"
"About two and half months. I think.. I don't know" A smiled spread across her face.
"I'm so happy for you! I know its weird to say because you're only seventeen,But Bella this is a blessing" She slid over on the bed and hugged me. I was shocked at how she wasn't freaking out at me for being so stupid.
"So I guess you told her?" Alice said as she walked into my room, she was also in her dress.
"Yeah.."I said pulling away from Rose. We all walked into my bathroom, and Alice dragged in my desk chair, and sat me down. Alice and Rose did my hair and fixed my make up a little bit. I looked in the mirror when they finished and they made me look great, My eyes didn't have bags under them anymore.
"Thanks guys" I smiled at them and they hugged me. I looked over at the clock and it was now 6:20. I guess we should leave now. We walked out of my room, and made our way down stairs. When we got down stairs I looked around to look for my parents. You could hear them talking in the kitchen.I motioned for Rose and Alice to stay where they were and I tip toed to the door outside of my kitchen and tried to listen to what they were saying.
"Renee I thought we taught her better then this" Charlie sounded so angry, I tried not to cry , I've done enough of that today.
"Charlie, there is absolutly nothing we can do, she's a smart girl who made a small mistake, I did the same thing but at sixteen,Mind you we had twins. She's turning eighteen soon, I trust her she knows how to run her own life, I wouldn't let her screw her life up at all, shes my daughter and I only want the best for her. After all the problems she has had in her life, from getting bullied almost everyday in middle school, to her cutting herself, and now shes pregnant, I think this will be good for her. Charlie, Please trust me?" What my mom just said almost made me cry, I can't believe she actually thought I could handle it, She thinks having this baby will be good for me.
"I just want her to be able to enjoy her life, and wait till a proper time to have a baby. I imagined my little girl going to prom, Graduating, Going to college , then getting married , then have kids..I'm sorry Renee it's just very up setting for me to see my little girl having a baby..Renee your gonna be a grandmother at 33 and I'm gonna be a grand parent at 35. If anything we should be the ones having a baby, not our daughter" My dad sounded like he was crying...I screwed everything up.
"Charlie..she will be able to do all of those things except she's having a baby just need to be there for her Charlie...It's time to go.."Right as she said its time to go, I got up and ran to Alice and Rose, and whispered too them as fast as I could to them and told them what they talked about, before they came out of the kitchen. Alice and Rosalie both formed an oh shape with their mouths.
"Are you ready girls?" Renee asked cheerfully as she walked out of the kitchen. I looked over at me dad and he wouldn't even look at me. His face was full of anger.
"Yup" My voice sounded very shakey, and my mom could tell.
"Bella everything will be fine...Esme already hinted to Carlisle and he didn't seem to be mad at all, a little disapointed but that was it. It's all about telling Edward now." I was relieved to find out Carlisle knew. I wonder how Edward is gonna take it.
"Mom I don't want to tell Edward infront of everybody, Before dinner I'm gonna tell him in private...Is that okay?"My mom looked at me and nodded. We all walked out of my house,and walked next door to the Cullen residence. Esme greeted us at the door, and the first thing she did was hug me.
"Thank you Bella"She whispered in my ear.
"For what?"
"For my first grandchild." She looked like she was about to cry,but not a sad or disapointed cry, a happy one. We all walked inside, and Esme pulled me in to the den and we both sat down on the couch.
"How did Carlisle take the news?" I asked once the door was shut and I knew we were in private.
"Well Bella , He is a little disapointed, but he's such a caring man Bella. He just wants the best for you and Edward, And he said if you need anything at all for the baby he will help you will anything. He also said this baby shouldn't be an excuss for you and Edward to get out of going to college. He said he thinks you should take online courses at home and Edward still attend med school so he can later support you two, I know it may seem a little bit selfish or whatever, but its up to you sweetie...And me and Carlisle talked about you moving in with us after the baby is born because we have the space for two extra people, and your mom will be next door,and we can both help you."I was absolutly shocked at how well everyone was taking this I felt like I was too lucky. I feel like I should be getting yelled at and not aloud to do anything anymore.
"Esme..Why are you and my mom being so calm about this..?"
"Well sweetie, We just want the best for you. Sweetie you have a wonderful caring family who won't ever be mad at you , we just want the best for you and Edward , and that is making sure you two are both also have to remember I had Alice and Edward at eighteen and Renee had you and Emmett at sixteen, we understand what you are going threw." Esme always knew how to make everything that was bad sound like a good thing, and how to put me in a better mood. I looked at her and smiled. Esme reached over and hugged both got up and made our way to the living room where everyone was, I noticed Elizabeth was here to she gave me an smile but looked sorry, so clearly the adult were all talking about it. Me and Esme parted and I walked over to Edward.
"Hello Beautiful, I love how you ,Alice, and Rose have the same dresses but in different colors" He smiled and leaned down and kissed me. I could feel the blood rushing to my cheeks.
"Edward we need to talk.."I grabbed his hand and pulled him in to the kitchen.
"What is it baby?"He looked concerned, what I'm about to tell him could completly destroy our relationship, and our friendship.
"Edward...I'm pregnant...I'll do whatever you think we should do.. I just want you to be happy, and I want us to be happy together. I don't want anything to destory us and I don't want you to destory your future. I don't want you to feel like you have to do it because you don't... I love you Edward, I just want the best for you."He looked like a ghost...He knelt down and rested his head on my stomach.
"We're having a baby?"His voice was completly off and kissed my completly flat brought tears to my eyes.
"Bella I don't know what to first things first, you are not getting rid of a baby we both created out of love. We have a lot to figure out , But we can do this. I know we can no matter just have a lot to figure out.."He stood back up and kissed me.
"I also have something else to tell you.." I whispered, why wasn't everyone over reacting over this , People shouldn't be this understanding. I should be getting in so much trouble... why isn't Edward mad at me..
"What is it love?"
"Everyone else already knows..."I looked at Edward and he started to look angry.
"Why didn't you tell me right after you found out?" He shouted.
"Edward I was fucking scared, I didn't know what to do and I just found out this afternoon! Edward I was scared you wouldn't want it! You have such a big future ahead of you! I didn't want anything to get in your way! I don't want this to be a burden on your life!"I have never shouted at Edward so much in my life. He put my face in his hands and kissed my forehead.
"Don't you dare think I don't want this baby, It's apart of you and me. Bella I love you and I picture us having a beautiful maybe a little sooner then we expected but love things happen for a reason. Right now all I need to worry about is my beautiful girlfriend and my beautiful child to be . We can figure everything else as time goes on.I promise we can do this, We just have to take it step by step."
"I'm so confused...Why isn't anyone freaking out at me, Why are our moms so calm,? I should be in so much trouble right now.." I seriously hate these mood swings...
"Bella, I think everyones a little shocked, but Bella you're such a strong person. Right now they're just trying to cope with everything, you have to remember it's a lot to take it for them,I'm eighteen and you're gonna be soon and we're already gonna be parents. They want you to be happy, So there gonna be their for whatever decison you make.."After he said that,Esme came in the kitchen.
"Oh I'm sorry I didn't interupt anything did I? Does he know?"We both nodded.
"Oh okay good,I just have to grab the lasagna from the stove. Are you scared Edward?"Esme walked over to the stove and got oven mits.
"Kinda but I guess it is what it is. Things happen in life for a reason."Edward said to Esme. Atleast I'm not the only scared one..
"You guys both have a lot a head of you, and thats why we are here for you. Bellas mom had twins at sixteen, I had you and Alice by eighteen, Hopefully theres only one baby in there."Esme said resting her hand on my barely noticable bump.
"I forgot about that.." I said. Twins run in our families , I don't think I'll be able to handle two babies,barely one either.
"Don't worry when I talked to Carlisle he said he can get you into his office tomorrow at ten a.m for an ultrasound."Esme said, and relief washed over me,but so did awkwardness. Carlisle being my doctor for the pregnancy is a wee bit awkward.
"I'll take you to your appointment Bella" Edward kissed my forehead and smiled.
"Alright you two, go sit dinners ready."Esme carried the lasagna to the dinning room and we all sat down. There was an awkward silence.
"Well first things first, Bella what is your plan for school?"Carlisle broke the silence. Jasper looked at me no one told him.
"Well I plan on contueing with school, I don't think I'd like homeschooling very much, but I think after the baby is born, If we decide to keep it, I'm going to take two weeks off from school and take care of it."I don't know how I just came up with that on the spot. Jasper looked shocked. He whispered I'm sorry to me and I just nodded.
"Well Bella ,me and Esme want you too know that there is no way you and Edward will be dropping out at all , we will help you with whatever you need so you two can graduate and go to college. Also Bella, because Esme does a lot of her work at home during the week she is willing to watch the baby for you well you're at school. You two need to graduate and go to college get careers so you child can have a bright future. Esme and I manged to raise two babies well in college. We didn't get the help like you two are getting, We're offering help so you two don't have to struggle like we did."
"Carlisle has a great point,you two are very lucky to have the help everyone is offering you, we've all stuggled to get where we are today."Charlie looked at me and Edward, and he still looked sad.
"We really appriciate the help you guys are offering, we're very lucky, but I don't want me and Edward to depend on you guys are whole lives, we need to learn from our mistakes." I really don't wanna depend on our family for out talked more about what Edward and I should do for college and where we should stay, They all agreed that I was gonna stay at Edwards house for the first six months so Esme ,Elizabeth and my mom could help us, I also decided I was gonna take culanary classes at school this year so I only have to take one year of cullanary classes at the local college , so I can eventually open a bakery when the baby is old enough. Edward was gonna continue going to Med school which I was perfectly fine with, He should follow his dreams.
"Hey guys what about going to Isle Esme next week?"Alice looked concerned, she has been planning on going there for months now.
"I think I'll be staying behind , you guys go and have fun" I smiled at them.
"Oh no your not staying behind Isabella, you're going. You're not missing out on the trip"My mother looked at me and smiled. She's such a goof ball.
"But what if something happens with the baby?"I was truely concerned about the baby, what If i fell or something.
"Thats why we're going, Don't worry you guys are gonna be in the main house me and Esme are getting the one on the other part of the Island. So dont worry, I'll bring some of my equitment just incase."I felt some relief.
"Yay! Oh my gosh! I have to get us new bikinis! Rose shopping tomorrow?" Alice yelled and looked at Rose.
"Yes!"They both ran out of the room to Alices bed room.
"Well were gonna go kiddo, Esme thank you for the lovely dinner. Carlisle we still on for the Marners game tomorrow?" Charlie hugged me and Esme.
"Of course Charlie, I just have to check Bella out then we can leave."Carlisle and my dad having been going to baseball games together when ever they could since they were younger.
"Bella let us know if you're staying over tonight, its not like anything can happen know" Renee laughed..
"I will, I'll call you later and let you know." I kissed my mom on the cheek, and they left.
"Want to go to La push?"Edward asked when everyone was gone.
"But it's almost eight? " The sun was already almost gone and the moon was out.
"So? Who doesn't like walking the beach at night?"I smiled at him and grabbed his hand and walked to the door.
"Wait Bella! Take this incase you get cold!"Esme ran to me handing me a beautiful gray sweater.
"Thank you Esme"I smiled. She kissed both of us on the cheek and we left for La push. We got in his car and I automatically played his wasn't anything great on the radio so I plugged in his ipod. I staired out the window and watch the trees fly by. Everything was running threw my mind. How did I not notice the symtoms before? I mean my period has always been irregular so I didn't really think about that one, But how did I not notice the cravings,the headaches,dizzyness. I'm so stupid. I should've went on birth control, I'm suppose to go to college , go out and have fun...Maybe I should look into adoption... But I wouldn't get to see the baby grow baby. Crap what am I getting myself dinner it seemed like we had it all figured out,but now it seems like everyone was deciding my life for me,but there all so supportive..
"What's wrong Bella?"Edwards voice interupted my thoughts, I looked at him and realized I was crying.
"I'm fine"I wiped away the tears and faked a smile.I looked back out the window and realized we were parked and at La Push. Edward got out of the car and made his way towards myside of the car. He opened my door and got down on his knees. I looked at him and he face was full of concern, He reached over a grab my hand.
"Bella I'm scared too.."Edward looked like he was about to cry, He never cries. I let go of his hand and unbuckled my seatbelt and got out of the car. I walked towards the beach leaving him behind. I don't know why I just got up and left. I have so much on my mind. How am I suppose to take care of baby when I'm still trying to recover from my problems ,and being pregnant and having a baby isn't gonna help me at all,but not seeing the baby isn't gonna help either. I started to cry again. I looked around the beach , the only light around the beach was the moon and the street lights in the distance. I heard Edward running to catch up to me, so I stopped walking and crashed on to the picked me up and craddled me in his arms. All I could hear is my whimpering , and quite crash of the waves on the rocks.
"Bella listen,I know you're scared, but so am I... If someone told me we would be having a baby eighteen I would've been like never, But we are. I'm going to be here for what ever decision you 're not in this alone...I'm also not gonna be one of those dads who says he'll be there and ends up leaving a month after the baby is born, Esme and Carlisle raised me better then that, I could never leave my child or you, Isabella I love you and that little one is starting to grow on me, even though I just found out about it."His words shocked me. I looked up at him and his eyes were watering.I snuggled closer to his chest trying to comfort him and myself. Are we gonna be able to handle a baby? Well trying to finish high school and start college? I will have to manage to do it.
"Edward I don't know what we're gonna do, I don't want to depend on our parents, It's our problem not our parents. Should we look at adoption..?"I can't stand the thought of adoption, but if Edward thought it was whats best then so be it.
"Bella to be a hundred percent honest, I don't think I could not handle not seeing my child grow up with other parents..I mean I want to be the one filming my child taking its first steps, I wanna be there for when they say dada , I wanna teach them how to ride there first bike, I wanna see my beautiful girlfriend holding this child." he reached out and touched my stomach. I looked up at him and he was 're gonna be parents.
"So we're gonna keep it? I'm just scared Edward, What if I go crazy again? Maybe we should look into adoption just incase..." This is what worried me the most, I'm scared about going back to my old ways.I mean I haven't cut in couple months but what if I have a mood swing and I get depressed like I did earlier? I did stop myself and got rid of the blade. Maybe having this baby will help me move on..
"Then I will be there for you to help you. Bella I see your progress you've gotten a lot better , You've changed a lot. You're a lot happier lately. Bella I honestly think once you see that baby, your whole world is gonna change." And he was right...
**August 2nd 2011**
I walked up to he front desk of the Obg-yn office of Forks hospital. My mom had her hand behind my back moving her hand in circles to sooth me. She knew I was scared about today, So her , Esme and Edward came with me.
"Hi,, I'm here for and appoinment with Dr. Clearwater and " My voice sounded very shakey, the receptionist looked confused.
"Dr. Cullen only delivers babies, He isn't a ultrasound tech..." I looked over Esme and she explained to the reseptionist that Carlisle wanted to help with just this first appointment.
"Oh okay, It will be about ten minutes till they call you in, you just have to fill this out "She handed me a clip board and pen and we made our way to a couch in the waiting room. I filled out the papers in less then two minutes. Esme and my mom were reading baby magizines and Edward was looking at brochers on giving birth and birthing classes. He kept making funny faces at the giving birth brocher. I started laughing and Esme and my mom looked completly confused and Edward stuck his tongue out at me like a child.
"Isabella?" A tale russet skinned woman called from the door way. We all got up and followed her. Everyone went in to the room except for me. I had to get weighed and height checked out.I took my shoes off like asked step on the scale
"Isabella?"Dr. Clearwater looked concerned.
"Bella. What is it?"I asked.
"You're only 5'3 and 92 pounds, you're very under you are indeed pregnant you need to eat a lot more and gain atleast 35 pounds for this baby and you to be healthy. " I never thought I was underweight.. I mean I've always been really small but I never thought I was under weight.
"Alrighty, I guess I'll go to burger king after this." I laughed , I've had a sudden craving burger king lately, like a really bad craving.
"I'm perfectly okay with that as long as you gain weight darling" Dr. Clearwater laughed and led me to a room where she had some of my blood drawn for tests. I hated having blood drawn so much that she had my mom come with us to hold my hand. That's right I'm seventeen years old and have to have my mom hold my hand well getting blood drawn..
"Alright Bella that should be it for the blood drawn, but I need you too pee in this and place it in the cabinet. Then you can come back to the room and said he would be doing your first ultrasound? "I took the cup from and nodded.
"Well Bella ,I guess I'll see you at your next appointment! Bye" left and I made my way to the bathroom. After I was finished I made my way back to the room, Edward and his dad were talking about how the equitment works and Esme and My mom were talking about how they hope I have a girl.
"Hey Bella, How are you today? Edward just told me you guys came to decision?"Carlise ask as I made my way to the hospital bed. I smiled, after last night I started to feel a little bit better about being pregnant, because I knew Edward would be there every step of the way..
"Yes, we have. We decided we will be.."