Jude stood at her window a few weeks later, looking out into the mild summer night. She had stood there often over the weeks, listening to the noise of the city under her and thinking about her life and when she had lost control over it.

Had it been the night when these destructive photos had been taken? Or the first time she hadn't chosen the music she would sing, but had had to sing a cover? Or maybe the day she found out her father, her only constant supporter of her dream, had betrayed her and her family? Or even at the very beginning, when she had to rewrite her song to make it more suitable for her album? For sure was somewhere there she had lost herself and had never even realized it until Patsy's death had opened her eyes.

The shock that someone's life could go to pieces like that, had made her realize that it was important to know what you want. And she hadn't known it. When she was younger she always wanted to become a famous singer and with Instant star she had got the opportunity which she had taken and so had made her dreams comes true. But what came then? What were her dreams now? To make good music? But was the music she thought was good really good or did she only thought it was good because others told her so? Was she like a puppet on a string?

This thought terrified her and she decided it was time to change her life to find herself. What had Spied said again in one of his brighter moments, when she had told him she would take a break? 'You know what is really cool, Dude? There you can define yourself again. Nobody will think: This is the girl, who drank underage. You can make new impressions.'

And she was going to do just that. She was going to be the Jude she always wanted to be without someone criticizing her and without worrying about what others thought. And when she had found herself again, then she would decide if music was really what she wanted. Until then she would wouldn't think about making music. Because how could she make good music that she totally supported, when she didn't even now who she was?

Hearing loud voices from the bar across the street, she decided that now was as good as ever to start. Because in her new life Jude needed people, who loved her like she was, without the music and the hype about her person. And where could you meet new people better than in a bar?

It was a Friday night and the bar was jam-packed, every booth was filled with people. Jude made her way to the bar and seated herself on a stool and ordered a coke. The air smelled of smoke and different kinds of perfumes. She took a sip of her drink and turned around. Everyone was with someone else and they didn't seem to notice her at all. Great, she hadn't thought meeting new people would be this hard. Normally they recognized her and came to her and asked about her music or something. She had never done the first step before.

Should she just accost someone? Or wait until maybe someone came to her? But that would take hours on the face of it.

Argh, where came this insecurity from? She wasn't used to it. Was this how she would be from now on? Insecure and debating over everything in her head? Was that how the real Jude was, without her fame or influential people around her? Maybe this bar was a bad idea after all.

She was about to pay for her drink when she felt a presence next to her. It was a young man with blondish hair and and blue eyes. He seemed to be really stylish with his perfectly fitting jeans and his colour-coordinated shoes and t-shirt. He wasn't her type, but she accorded him the seat next to her regardless.

"So what is a young lady like yourself doing here all alone?" He asked sipping on his beer and watching her.

"Is that your best pick-up line?" Jude asked raising her eyebrow and cursing herself inwardly. She hadn't thought about what she would do if she only met guys, who wanted to get into her pants.

"It wasn't supposed to be a pick-up line. Just my curiosity speaking."

"Sure." Jude said disbelieved turning around again.

"It's the truth. You seemed lonely and I thought I could change that."

"If you only want in my pants? Piss off."

"Huh, feisty." the guy smirked. "I actually thought more about talking."

"Talking?"

"Yeah and maybe a bit drinking." He added.

"You won't try to get into my pants?"

"No, I won't .Of course if you want, I' won't be opposed." Jude glared at him and turned to the door. "No trying to get into your pants. I promise." He raised his hand showing her two fingers.

"Okay." Jude sat down again and ordered a new coke.

"Okay. I'm Owen by the way."

"I'm Jude." She held out her hand and he shook it.

"So back to my question. What brought you here on a Friday night?"

"Life." She answered simply.

"Life?"

"Yeah." Jude took another sip." And yourself?"

"My girlfriend." he admitted, causing Jude to choke on her drink.

"You flirted with me, even thought you have a girlfriend?"

"I didn't try to flirt with you." He said desperately.

"Right... So what's with your girlfriend"

"She's away for the week-end and I didn't know what to do with myself." he explained.

"No friends?"

"My best friend is a workaholic and is still working and my other friend has the disadvantage that he works with him, so he has to stay as well."

"Oh okay." She remembered how she used to stay at the studio until late in the night, often she stayed behind everyone else, even her producer, Jack, left before her. She just loved the quietness and solitariness of the building at night, nobody would disturb her in her own little world and she could work as she liked.

"You don't want to tell me what exactly brought you here?" Owen asked.

"Well, I decided to change."

"So you went to a bar?"

"Yes."

"That's logical." He said sarcastically.

"I wanted to meet new people." She huffed.

"And that you did." Owen smiled.

"Yeah. But I'm not so sure you are what I imagined." Jude retorted, looking him up and down.

"Well, who is now the one suggesting something?" Jude rolled her eyes. "So what did you imagine? A better looking guy, because then you'll have to wait a long time."

"I actually pictured a girl." Jude said, causing Owen's eyes to widen.

"Oh." He chuckled nervously. "Well, I didn't know you were...ugh... that way. You know, from the other side."

"What are you talking about?"

"I didn't realize you were a lesbian, sorry." He ran his hand through his hair and smiled sheepishly.

"What is wrong with being a lesbian?"

"Nothing. Absolutely nothing. I was just... I..."

"You are just shocked, you were attracted by a lesbian?" Jude asked amused watching Owen squirm.

"Yeah." He admitted looking as if he was shocked by his own answer.

"It can happen." She patted him on the shoulder supporting and smiled reassuringly.

They sat together in silence. Owen apparently still in disbelief that he was attracted by a girl, who he thought was a lesbian.

"And just for the record. I'm not a lesbian." Jude said, causing Owen's head to whip around.

"You're not?"

"No." Jude shook her head.

"Thank God." Owen sighed in relief. "Not that it would have been bad, but it would have felt weird seeing my girlfriend again and knowing that I had been attracted by a lesbian."

"You would have told her?"

"No. I don't know. Maybe. She usually senses it when something is buggering me and then I would have had to tell her." Owen shrugged and Jude nodded.

"So why did you picture a girl?" asked Owen, coming out of his state of shock.

Jude shrugged clueless. "I don't really know. I guess, because I only have guy friends at home and thought maybe I could find a girlfriend here."

Owen nodded in understanding, but then frowned.

"You have only guy friends at home, where is home?"

"Toronto, Canada. I just moved here two weeks ago." Jude explained.

"For work?"

"No, the opposite. To get a break. I'm only here for a few months, I have to be home for graduation."

"Okay. You're still in high school?" He asked, noticing now that the woman in front of him really seemed to still be very young. She guessed that she was at least a few years younger than him.

"Yeah. I'm in my last year." She replied.

"So you're 18?"

"No, 17, but in a few months I'll be 18."

"I have very fond memories of high school. There I--" He was interrupted by his cell phone ringing. "Sorry." he excused himself and walked into a quiet corner.

Jude looked after him, her first impression of him had been wrong, he was a decent guy and a good listener, too. She laughed, as she remembered his face when he thought she was a lesbian. This Jude she liked more. This Jude was witty, feisty and had fun. She was a bit like the Jude in Toronto, only that she hadn't once thought about any tabloids that could credit her yet again with a new relationship and she definitely hadn't thought about what Darius would think.

"Sorry, I have to go." said a smooth voice behind her and she turned to an apologetic looking Owen.

"No problem." She replied, realizing she herself had to go soon, as her tutor would come by tomorrow at 9 am.

"If you want and can maybe replace the image of a girl with one of a guy, we could continue this conversation tomorrow, maybe over dinner?" Owen suggested.

Should she do that? She hadn't planned to meet a guy. But he was nice and didn't pry like a girl would certainly do. Maybe he could introduce her to some decent girls?

Argh, here she was debating again. Didn't she want to stop that? And why had she pictured a girl anyway? Hadn't she decided to just see where this might go?

"Sure. Where should we meet?"

"I have to work tomorrow, so you can come there." He pulled a paper out of his jeans and Jude searched in her purse for a pen and handed it to him

He gave her the paper, after he wrote on it. "This is the address. When can you come?"

"Around 6?"

"Okay. I really have to go now." He waved and hurried out of the bar. Jude stood up as well, payed for her drink and left.

Back in her apartment she slipped off her shoes and flopped down on her couch. She was exhausted, it had been harder to meet a new person than she thought, but she felt they were on a good way and she knew she had made a big step towards finding herself today. Because not for nothing is the saying: A fault confessed is half redressed.

So that was my second chapter. I hope you liked it. A want to thank everyone, who has reviewed for the last chapter.

I've never understood why people said reviews make theiir day, but it's true they really make your day. Every possibility I go online and check for new reviews. So please review!!