Author's Note:
4/9/15: This chapter has been updated to reflect some stylistic changes. There are more changes to this than the first chapter, as well as a slightly different ending. Same idea, different execution.
Hope you guys enjoy this chapter too.
Many thanks to my beta, Arenoptara, and to you, my readers.
Seifer woke the next morning, considerably less depressed and significantly more motivated. He'd never been one to sit and wallow in self-pity; last night was the exception. If he didn't get off his ass and try to kick-start his life, then it sure as hell wasn't going to go anywhere.
After downing some much needed coffee at the hotel's restaurant, he was standing just in front of Balamb's front gate, a few hours after dawn. His foot tapped impatiently against the white bricks that made up the plaza's groundwork. Fujin and Raijin were supposed to meet him here after they ate, but they still hadn't shown.
He pulled his black leather gloves out of his coat pocket and slid them on, reaching for Hyperion, which he'd propped up against the wall. Deciding that the duo could just catch up to him later, he walked under the archway and nodded at the rental station attendant on his way out. Just because they didn't like him, didn't mean he couldn't try to be polite, right?
The attendant turned away from Seifer quickly and pulled down the curtain, hiding himself from Seifer's view. Seifer scoffed and glared at the window, a spike of hot anger running through him at the man's instant dismissal.
Whatever, he wasn't worth my time anyway, he thought bitterly.
He strolled leisurely along the asphalt road that led away from the entrance of the town, admiring the view. Balamb had always been beautiful. Even when he'd been an immature youth, skipping classes at Garden, he'd been able to appreciate the sights. The instructors assumed he left to do inappropriate things, but more often than not, he went to the beach and just watched the waves crash against the sand.
The smell of rolling meadows and a light hint of flowers tickled his nose. It was slightly tainted by the sharp, salty scent of the ocean. If Seifer could bottle it up and sell it as a candle, he'd do it in a heartbeat; except he didn't want people knowing he was that fond of where he'd spent the majority of his childhood.
When he was about halfway to the immense forest that lined the entrance to the Fire Cave, the sound of rapid footsteps reached his ears. They gradually increased in volume from behind him and he finally turned, spotting Raijin sprinting after him.
"Seifer, wait up, ya know?!" Raijin shouted frantically, his arms flailing through the air as he ran.
Seifer paused and noticed Fujin was just behind Raijin, also heading his way, but at a much more laid-back pace. He chuckled at the stark differences in their personalities and jabbed Hyperion into the ground, its sharp tip sinking into the grass. He leaned against the handle and crossed his arms over his chest, watching as they neared.
Raijin finally caught up and rested his hands on his knees, bent over as he caught his breath. Fujin arrived few minutes later and nodded curtly at Seifer.
"TRAIN?" she asked.
Seifer pulled Hyperion out of the ground and lifted it, pointing the tip at the forest in the distance.
"Kind of. We're running low on Gil so I thought we could go kill some stuff to grab some parts to sell to the junk shop," he explained.
Still panting, Raijin looked up at Seifer and asked, "Why didn't you wait for us, ya know?"
"I did," Seifer said, as he shrugged nonchalantly and continued walking towards the forest.
A light breeze started up and he breathed in again. The scent of grass and flowers was now replaced with the fresh mossy aroma from the forest and the ocean's salty undercurrent was much stronger on this side of the island. It had always smelled more like this at Garden and it brought back memories that he was surprised were untainted by bitterness, for the first time in awhile.
Though he'd told them he'd be by the gate this morning, he left early because he was sick of waiting-but also because he had wanted time to himself, to sort through his thoughts. Sure, he'd woken up in a considerably improved mood, but his concern over their situation last night had been valid. In addition to figuring out a game plan, he needed to confront his own emotions about everything that had happened a few months ago. It pissed him off that the past kept haunting him.
Not feeling in the mood to sift through his problems right now, Seifer picked up the pace and practically began to power walk to the forest. When Raijin saw that Seifer had sped up, he tried to run after him but Fujin laid her hand on his arm. He looked back and forth from Fujin to Seifer's back, confused as to why she'd stopped him.
"ALONE," she said sternly.
They came to a standstill, watching Seifer race towards the forest, lost in his thoughts. Fujin stared after him, her eyebrows furrowed in concern. Seifer had been...different since the end of recent events. He tended to lapse into moments of silence more often, and there were times where he'd check out of conversations altogether. Raijin would try to spark his interest by changing the subject, and Fujin would even order the Balamb Fish special instead of her usual alfredo and try to pass it on to him. None of it worked. When Seifer fell into one of his moods, it was impossible to pull him out of them-and that was what worried Fujin so much.
Up ahead, Seifer chopped at the underbrush in the outskirts of the forest, fighting to make his way deeper into the heart of the trees. A giant frond leaf swung in front of him and smacked him in the face, and he brushed it away with a scowl. He stepped over a few broken branches and finally came into an empty clearing. Well, empty except for the massive T-Rexaur that stood right in front of him, its face turned up towards the sun.
Seifer smirked and ran his hand along Hyperion's sharp edge, his muscles tensing in anticipation and tingles of excitement spreading through him. Nothing beat a little bit of battle therapy. Sure, he could talk about his emotions but this was so much better.
He rushed into the open area, letting out an exuberant shout, and the T-Rexaur roared in surprise as it turned to face him. He lifted his hand and flames began to surround it as he channeled a Firaga spell. As he ran and slid underneath the T-Rexaur, he unleashed the spell and it hit the creature right in the stomach.
It reared up, howling in pain. Seifer launched himself to his feet, now standing behind the T-Rexaur. It flipped around clumsily and charged at him, and Seifer smiled wickedly, rolling to the side and slicing into its thigh with Hyperion as it passed him by. Its leg buckled and its entire body fell sideways to the ground.
He stalked slowly towards the weakened T-Rexaur and began to cast Blizzaga, tiny snowflakes and ice crystals forming in the air around his hand. His chest heaved up and down as he stepped closer, and his smile had turned into something far more sinister. Seifer knew this battle was at an end, but not for him.
The T-Rexaur swung its massive gaze up to focus on Seifer and he paused, feeling an unknown emotion run through him when he met its eyes. He lowered his hand, the spell forgotten and the ice dissipated.
A moment passed where the T-Rexaur and Seifer simply stared at one another. The monster seemed to accept its fate but for some reason, Seifer hesitated. He didn't know whether it was regret over the fact that he'd chosen to kill an innocent being for no reason, even though it had never bothered him before. He knew this was how the world worked, understood it better than most. It was survival of the fittest and he had proven that he was better than the T-Rexaur.
If that were the case though, why did he feel so...upset? His lip curled in distaste at the sudden rush of feelings, and he immediately chain-cast Blizzaga on the beast, relishing in its dying cries. Even though he knew the battle was over, and the T-Rexaur was dead, he picked up Hyperion and slashed into the beast repeatedly, in an attempt to rid himself of the emotions he didn't understand.
A few minutes later, Fujin and Raijin rushed into the clearing behind him and Fujin yelled for him to stop. He was so in the zone, he didn't even register their presence.
Raijin shouted, "Seifer, you've gotta cut it out, ya know?!"
Fujin rushed forward and yanked back on Seifer's shoulder, bringing him back to reality.
Drained-both emotionally and physically-Seifer collapsed onto the dirt, Hyperion flat on the ground beside him. Raijin stared at the T-Rexaur's mangled body in shock. He peered down at Seifer and said quietly, "That was overboard, ya know? What happened?"
Fujin gently placed her hand on Seifer's shoulder and he brushed it aside harshly, avoiding her eye. For a brief moment, hurt flashed across her face and then her expression became impassive again. She stiffly walked over and stood by the T-Rexaur's corpse, her back facing them.
"Well, I'll grab any materials we can sell to the shop, ya know?" Raijin said quickly, and jogged over to stand next to Fujin, speaking to her under his breath.
Seifer couldn't hear what they were talking about and right in that moment, he didn't particularly care either. When Fujin nodded slightly in response to something Raijin had asked, Raijin bent down to start sifting through the carcass for materials they could sell. Fujin pivoted swiftly and stalked back towards Seifer.
She stopped in front of him and glared at him fiercely, her eyepatch making her expression even more brutal. When she just stood there and didn't say anything, Seifer stared up her, his gaze piercing into her one visible eye.
"What?!" he snapped.
Her eye narrowed and the glare intensified, if that were even possible.
"IDIOT," she spat out and angrily trudged past him, crashing back through the forest.
He scoffed in annoyance and got to his feet, pacing in circles in the clearing. Raijin turned to watch him and when Seifer didn't stop within a few minutes, he stood and crossed his arms. Seifer glanced towards him and came to a halt, daring Raijin to say something.
Raijin spoke hesitantly, trying not to antagonize Seifer further. "I only say this 'cuz I'm your friend, ya know? But Fujin's been worried about you for awhile now. You've been acting different, ya know?"
Seifer grunted in resentment and turned his back on Raijin, heading out of the forest. "Well, you both need to mind your own god damn business. I'm fine."
As he stomped back towards town, he happened to glance at Balamb Garden out of the corner of his eye, and slowly came to a stop. The massive golden ring that kept Garden afloat, rotated continuously. the slow pace bringing Seifer's mood back down to normal. The anger and resentment drifted away from him and he sighed heavily. Now that his mind was clear again, he felt bad for lashing out at Raijin and Fujin like he had.
He sighed again and pulled his glove off, running his hand across his face. Instead of continuing on the road to town, he turned and started walking in the direction of the beach. When the blades of grass started receding and intermingled with the beige grains of sand, his boots started to sink, which made it more difficult to walk.
As he trekked through the thick terrain, he could hear the waves as he neared the shoreline and the instantly recognizable sound calmed him even more. He felt peaceful, whole. Even though he couldn't explain why the sounds of the ocean soothed him, it was for that reason that he was constantly on the pier at Balamb's docks.
He groaned as he lowered himself onto the sand, and stretched his legs out in front of him, tossing Hyperion out of the way. The sound of the waves enveloped him and he exhaled, frustrated with his own behavior. He'd been acting like a pouty child recently. Of course he'd be the first to admit that when things went south and didn't end up in his favor, he'd been disappointed. He'd banked all of his hopes and dreams on Ultimecia and when it fell through, he was the one who suffered the most.
Well, and all the people he might have screwed over along the way.
Yes, it may have been his own fault, but that didn't mean he couldn't be upset about it. So lately, he'd been hung up thinking about what he could've done differently or not done at all. Had that really been him acting differently? Apparently Fujin thought so, and she did know him pretty damn well.
Hours passed unbeknownst to Seifer, and the sun moved from its zenith in the sky to rest low on the horizon. Its clear blue shade had turned into a burnished rose, highlighted with what little golden rays of light remained, and streaked through with lavender from the impending sunset. Another day was almost over. Seagulls cawed and flew overhead, in the direction of the town for the night, in the hopes of scavenging for food.
Seifer had been on the beach, lost in his thoughts, for longer than he'd realized. Lazily, he stood and bent over to pick up Hyperion, brushing sand off of its hilt. He looked back at the ocean once more, and finally hiked up the beach, back towards town.
His boots seemed even heavier than before and he stumbled back to the road, fighting to keep his feet on the surface of the sand. When he finally reached the road, he stomped them, trying to dislodge the fine grains from the soles of his shoes.
As he made his way back to Balamb, he came to terms with the fact that he'd probably need to apologize to Fujin and Raijin. Judging by the time of the day, they should both be in the restaurant at the hotel, waiting for him to return. He passed under the arch and glanced towards the station attendant's window, again out of habit.
The man turned from him once more and completely faced the opposite direction. Seifer was surprised he hadn't just closed up shop to avoid seeing him again, since he was sure the man knew that he'd be back.
Instead of feeling angry like he had before, Seifer just felt taciturn. He knew the townspeople didn't like him. He knew no one liked him. It was pointless to keep thinking their attitudes towards him would change. That also meant that he seriously needed to say sorry to Fujin and Raijin sooner rather than later. Having the whole world hate your guts sucked, but at least he always had those two.
As he reached the hotel, the sun finally set and night fell around him. Streetlights blinked to life and the junk shop's porch light flickered on as he passed by. He looked ahead at the hotel and saw that new waitress serving Fujin and Raijin through the window.
They hadn't waited for him. They usually always waited for him.
His face scrunched up and he pushed through the hotel's double doors, a little harsher than necessary, hastily heading into the dining room. He made a beeline for their table and sat down abruptly. Raijin glancied up in surprise at him.
"Seifer! I didn't see ya, ya know? Did ya just get back?"
He stared at them in silence.
Raijin cleared his throat at the awkwardness and said, "Well you're here now, ya know? I'm sure the waitress'll bring ya your food in a sec."
After he spoke, he glanced subtly at Fujin who was looking down at her plate, avoiding Seifer altogether. Seifer followed Raijin's gaze and stared at Fujin as well, expecting her to look up and ask if he was alright, since she'd left immediately after they found him in the forest.
When she didn't speak after a few minutes, he got irritated and grilled her. "Fujin, what's your problem?"
She glared at him, still closemouthed. Raijin tried to shake his head subtly in warning, but Seifer ignored it and kept pushing.
"Are you mad at me for earlier? I didn't do anything wrong, I just needed to let off some steam. You of all people should know that I deserve at least that. What's with your attitude, huh?"
She pushed back her chair back furiously, throwing her napkin down on the table.
"DONE," she exclaimed, her teeth clenched, and brusquely walked out of the dining room.
Seifer remained sitting down and stared after her, stewing in anger. The sound of his fingers drumming on the tabletop echoed throughout the restaurant and Raijin leaned forward.
"Seifer, I think you should give her some time, ya know?" he suggested.
Seifer scoffed and crossed his arms. "Time for what? She's acting like a little girl, pissed over nothing. I told you two what I was doing in the forest. She came in acting all high and mighty and has been upset at me ever since," he spat, irritated.
Raijin shook his head and murmured, "That's not why she's upset, man. Give her until tomorrow and ask her then. You both need to cool down, ya know?"
Seifer threw his hands up in the air in frustration, a sharp burst of air escaping from his mouth. He quickly shoved his chair back and stalked out of the restaurant, taking the stairs up to his room, two at a time. In jerky movements, he pulled his keycard out of his pocket, pushing his door open violently. It smacked against the far wall and as he walked inside, he glared at Fujin's closed door.
"Forget this, I don't need it," he mumbled under his breath, slamming his door shut.