If only it were that easy. Disregard everything you just read, except the parts about threesomes, those were awesome.
A long long time ago, in a town far away from the city, there lived Hinamizawa. Orgies were common with hawt Higurashi chicks, as Paul enjoyed them quite much. Quotes like "oh, ooh yeah, oh man that's rough, and that's what my mom said last night" were the most common things you heard around town.
Then one day some faggot came, Stephen. He moved in because there weren't enough faggots in the last town. He wanted to rape me. I was like "What are you doing" and he was like "lol i r smell you". So I got Rena's cleaver and sliced him up good.
Yep, that's the story. Pretty fucking amazing if you ask me. No I don't need no damn mcrophone, get the hell away from me you pervert.