Disclaimer: FFX, FFX-2 – neither of them belong to me, I'm just a poor, starving fan : )

A/N: I've updated the format and presentation of my chapters – hope everyone likes the new look!

Our Story

Chapter One: Gippal

I don't think I've ever been in love before.

There've been girls certainly – I'm not some kind of innocent. Before I joined the Crimson Squad there were plenty of girls. I mean, they've always been an interest of mine and I've always seemed to have been one of theirs. And hey, Al Bhed girls grow up pretty fast … but let's just say that I wasn't the most popular guy with the collective fathers on Bikanel. They all seemed to think I was more interested in single-handedly repopulating the island than spending my time tinkering with random pieces of machina, like a good little Al Bhed should do.

What can I say? Sure, machina is interesting but so are girls. Is it my fault that they find me devastatingly attractive?

Well … all of them bar Rikku, I guess. I mean, we grew up together sure, but she was never one of those girls who spent all their time trying to impress me. In fact, as far as I can remember, she never really noticed me at all. I knew her of course – she was our leader's daughter – but back then she was always more interested in pulling a piece of machina apart than trying to impress me.

Come to think of it, she never really gave me the time of day.

That really used to piss me off.

I can't remember when I stopped seeing her as 'Cid's girl' and really noticed that she had turned into a seriously cute young woman. Certainly it was before the situation with Lreav began, maybe as far back as when bumped into each other at Djose Temple while she was with the Gullwings. I mean, what with her being a Guardian and me joining the Crimson Squad, I hadn't seen her in years. And suddenly, there she was, standing in front of me and we were back to arguing like nothing had changed.

But some things had.

We weren't kids anymore. I wasn't as arrogant and self-obsessed as I had been – though I don't think Rikku would agree with me there – and she wasn't as inwardly focused. In fact, she seemed so much more alive, more real, than I had remembered; which, thinking about it, was probably a result of saving the world. I've heard it does wonders for you.

We still didn't agree on anything but for me at least, the previous animosity had faded. When she left the temple I found myself wishing I could have gone with her and when necessity threw us together again I was pleased to see her, not irritated by her presence.

It wasn't love. I don't think it was even attraction – at least, not at first. For me, it was more curiosity. I mean, here was this kid who was apparently impervious to my charm and didn't think twice about telling me exactly what she thought of me – how could I not be interested? And then she turned into this fantastic looking girl … I'd not be a guy if I didn't admit this was one of the turning points for me.

Then we beat Vegnagun and there were those endless parties that my so called 'friends' kept dragging me too and I thought, Hey, here's an opportunity. Me and Rikku in the same place for hours on end …

Of course, I hadn't counted on Lreav.

Nor the fact that my mere presence seemed to make Rikku reach for her knives. She was soon making a concerted effort to avoid me and it became a game; me pushing as many of her buttons as I could while still keeping a firm grip on my life, and her furiously plotting her revenge.

You know, I don't think she ever realised there was genuine interest there, in amongst all our insults. And not just on my side. Looking back it was like we were involved in this elaborate dance, the rules to which we both seemed to intrinsically understand. Who knows how long it would have continued if she hadn't left the party in Bevelle and I hadn't followed her.

Who knew if we'd still be alive. Sometimes I still can't believe how lucky we were that none of our friends were killed. Phoenix Downs are great but even they have limits.

It's ironic but in some ways I have the situation Lreav created to thank for breaking the impasse between me and Rikku. If we'd been left to our own devices we probably would have killed each other before admitting that we might actually like each other. Lreav's actions forced us to begin to acknowledge something we could have gone on ignoring for years.

But what exactly is that something?

Friendship.

Attraction.

Love …

Is that it? Am I in love with Rikku? Does the fact that I don't know mean I'm not?

It's all so confusing. I've never been in love before so how in Spira am I suppose to know if this is what it feels like? If this is the 'real thing' that everyone's always babbling on about?

Damn, I never thought the falling in love could be so complicated.

It's finally over.

The last investigation had been concluded, the documents had been carefully filed away and the case was officially being closed. While Spira would be feeling the effects for months, and maybe even years to come, we could start putting the whole damn mess behind us at last.

It's finally over … so why don't I feel reassured?

Maybe because some part of me still felt completely responsible. I mean, if it hadn't been for that accident when I was younger, then none of those people whose names were plastered across the media channels would have died. Children wouldn't have lost their parents and husbands wouldn't have lost their wives.

A deadly cocktail of self-pity and guilt swam up inside of me and I made no effort to push it aside, too wearied by everything that had happened in the last several weeks. It really was all my fault if you stopped and thought about it for long enough. I'd known Lreav since we were both children; how in Spira's name had I missed the fact that he hated my guts? Then there was the Machine Faction; Lreav had been working in close proximity with me for months. If I'd just taken the time to talk to him a little more, then maybe I could have prevented all the destruction he caused and the lives he stole. Looking back there had been so many opportunities; moments when something about him had struck me as a little strange, when the odd misplaced comment would reach my ears … why hadn't I done anything? I'd been blinded by the fact that I had considered Lreav to be a good friend and Spira had paid the price for my failure.

At least now it's finally over.

The thought provided me with little comfort. It didn't change anything that had happened. It didn't make it any less my fault. Besides, the actual event might have come to an end but I was damn sure there were plenty of people in Spira for who the nightmare wasn't going to end anytime soon.

Was I really any different?

Light footsteps behind me interrupted my black musings, drawing my thoughts back from the precipice they had been so dangerously dangling over. Grateful for the distraction from my overactive mind, I turned my attention firmly on the newcomer.

"Hey."

Even before she'd spoken I'd known who it was and my heartbeat had quickened accordingly. There was just something so individualistic about her movement; the way she almost danced when she walked, it was like no one I'd ever known before.

"Hey."

She joined me at the rail, the familiar fruity scent of her hair invading my senses. I glanced at her out of the corner of my good eye and found that she was staring out across Luca as I had been only moments before. She was dressed in her trademark shorts and boots but over the top of the yellow bikini I was used to seeing, she had slung a dark green jacket. This was complimented by a green bandana that had taken the place of her usual blue one and was, as usual, failing to keep her unruly blonde hair out of her eyes.

You know, it was her eyes that first interested me. I know that's not a very manly thing to say – it should have been her trim figure or her … assets … but hey, what's the point in lying? Sure, Rikku's pretty damn cute, there's no denying that but she's got this special sparkle in those huge green eyes of hers.

Or at least … she used to have. Come to think of it, I haven't seen that sparkle for a while. Huh, it's funny to think that she seemed happier – more alive – when we were fighting and carrying on the pretence that we hated each other, rather than … whatever we feel for each other today.

The word 'love' floated irritatingly through my mind and I pushed it firmly aside, resolutely deciding that spending too much time alone with my thoughts was a dangerous thing.

The silence between us was growing – and it wasn't one of those comfortable silences that neither person really minds. No, there was a definite awkward edge there; in the way I shifted my weight from one foot to the other and the way Rikku leaned forward and rested her forehead on the palm of her hand with a quiet sigh.

Suddenly being alone with my thoughts didn't seem quite so bad.

I wanted to say something to her, I really did, but the distance between us seemed as wide as the Ronso mountains of Gagazet and equally impossible to traverse. I phrased pathetic platitudes in my mind but every time I opened my mouth they got stuck somewhere in the region of my throat and all that came out was a gust of air.

Rikku must have thought I was having some kind of breathing problem; I was gasping like a wounded Sagahin.

For once my mind, so full of painful memories only moments before, was completely empty of ideas and inspiration. I just couldn't think of anything to say.

I couldn't understand it – where had this awkwardness come from? Me and Rikku had certainly had no problem expressing our feelings in the past. In fact, all the insults and arguments aside, she was actually the person I had felt most at ease with – back before this whole mess had started. I'd always known where I stood with Rikku.

Suddenly that had changed. Now I craved to know what she was thinking, worried that I didn't, and found myself desperately uncertain about everything in my life regarding Rikku. On top of struggling to cope with Lreav's betrayal and my own guilt, I felt like I was going to explode.

A rush of irritation surged through me, inspired by my own frustration at my inability to cope with this situation. Irrationally I began to direct it at the girl beside me, my private, inner emotions bubbling dangerously close to the surface.

I knew what she was going to say any minute now – she was going to ask me how I was feeling, just as she had done the last twelve times we'd been in this same situation. It's what the awkward silences always lead up to, plunging us into the same tired old conversation that I was completely sick of having.

Rikku wanted me to 'open up' and 'talk about my feelings'. She'd told me that Lreav had hurt her too and we could get through it together. To be honest, at this moment – and indeed all the previous times we'd had this conversation – I wasn't feeling very inclined to appease her. I didn't want to discuss my feelings; frankly, I've never understood the female obsession with it. Does it make things better? No. It just makes everyone else perfectly aware of your embarrassingly fragile emotional and mental state, and then you get laboured with all of those hushed voices and sickeningly sympathetic words.

Glowering, I waited for the inevitable question to rear its ugly head again. I was disappointed; the silence continued to stretch between us broken only by the sound of Rikku sighing again. It was such a desolate sound that it brought me back to myself with a jolt. I was being a total jerk. None of this was Rikku's fault – she was just suffering from the misfortune of actually caring what happened to me. She was worried about me and probably with good reason. It wasn't as if I'd really been myself recently.

The silence between us had stretched to embarrassing proportions. I knew if I didn't say something soon then she'd probably turn and walk away … and to my surprise I found that I really didn't want her to do that.

But what to say?

"How's Yuna?" I blurted at long last, some vague memory at the back of my mind informing me that Rikku had just come from a meeting with her cousin. This, then, was a safe topic to start with.

There was a brief pause in which Rikku dragged her eyes away from their inspection of the distant city of Luca and looked up at me. She looked tired; her eyes were dull and there were faint lines on her face as if she had been frowning a lot recently.

At my question she smiled, a little wanly. "She's fine. Tired, but fine. I mean, she's still got a lot of work to do but I think she's relieved the investigation side of things is finally over."

"She's not the only one."

"Yeah. It'll be good to be able to get on with our lives again, won't it?"

Her attempt at being light-hearted fell flat and I found myself staring blankly at her, wondering at her words. As much as I wanted to agree with her, I knew too many things had changed for me to just slip easily back into my old life. Just thinking about the business with Lreav left a sour taste in my mouth and the heavy weight of guilt in my heart – I pushed both feelings aside with difficulty. I had to stop getting so wrapped up in my own thoughts; the conversation had faltered again without my even noticing.

This time it was Rikku who broke the impasse between us, her voice quiet but no less intense than normal.

"So … what are you going to do now?"

Finally, a question I could answer without having to struggle for the right words. "Go back to the Machine Faction, I guess. Spira knows they've been without a leader for long enough." Someone the idea didn't hold as much of my interest as it once had. Maybe after the whole business with Vegnagun, and then with Lreav … well maybe I'd come too far now to simply go back.

And then, of course, there was Rikku …

"What about you?" I asked abruptly, suddenly curious about the answer.

She stiffened and I got the impression that something about my question had bothered her. "Urm … I … I'm not sure. I …" she trailed off and walked her fingers along the rail. "I guess I haven't really thought about it."

It was weird; my question seemed to really have thrown Rikku and she appeared unusually uncertain. She kept darting sneaky glances at me when she thought I wasn't looking, as if she was waiting for me to do or say something. It was kinda irritating actually – did she expect me to be some kind of mind reader?

"What?" I demanded after several moments had passed and her fingers still hadn't ceased their restless dance.

Rikku jumped and spun to face me, her emerald eyes as round as saucers. "N-nothing!" she spluttered.

"Rikku, you're as jumpy as an Iguion. Somethin's up."

"I just – I just haven't thought much about the future, okay?" She stressed the word 'future' as if it was particularly significant.

I stared blankly at her. Was she doing this on purpose, just to annoy me? What was it about women that denied them the ability to come out and say what they actually meant? Were they taught to hedge around subjects from birth?

"You could always go back to the Gullwings," I offered finally, my mind settling on this as an acceptable suggestion. After all, I was planning to return to what I'd been doing before the Vegnagun incident – it stood to reason that Rikku would as well.

Apparently Rikku wasn't as pleased with this idea as I had thought. She drew away from the rail and the look she shot me was such a mixture of emotions that I had trouble deciphering it. The principle impression I got from her was that I had upset and disappointed her somehow, but for the life of me I couldn't work out why.

"It'll be comfortin' to do somethin' you're used to," I tried again.

"It would also be good to do something new and different," Rikku returned pointedly, watching me carefully. "Something I've never done before."

I wasn't stupid; I could sense the double meaning in her words. The only problem was I had no idea just what that double meaning was and every time I opened my mouth I only seemed to make things worse.

"Yeah, that could be good too," I said quickly, seeking to appease her. Hoping she might just come out and say what she wanted, I added innocently, "Did you have anythin' in particular in mind?"

Rikku stared at me with that same funny look on her face. "Oh for –" she cut herself off and threw her hands up in the air, utter frustration in her eyes. "I give up!"

"Rikku?" The words had been addressed to the air but I got the distinct feeling they were directed at me.

"Oh, forget it." All her earlier nervousness and gentle words were gone. Now she just seemed disappointed … in me.

Now this was the Rikku I was used to.

"I'm going to my cabin," she told me without preamble, moving away from the rail before I could stop her. It never occurred to me to ask why she still considered a cabin on my ship to be hers when our adventure was over; instead I simply stood dumbly and watched as she walked across the bridge and disappeared through the door.

I was missing something here; I was missing something big. And for whatever reason, the fact that Rikku was obviously upset with me bothered me more than I cared to admit. Suddenly all of my own problems seemed miniscule compared to the importance of Rikku's happiness.

So what have I done this time?

This question seemed a prudent place to start. I mean, I'd obviously done or said something that had pissed her off and seeing as our conversation had hardly been sparkling it should be easy to work out where I had gone wrong. I was fairly certain my comment about Yuna had nothing to do with it – there was no way she could have taken offence from that, surely? No – that really would be ridiculous. Which meant it must have been something after that, but all I'd asked was what she was going to do now that the business with Lreav was over, and she'd said …

Oh.

I slapped my hand against my forehead – hard. How could I have missed it? Rikku had started acting strangely straight after I'd asked that immortal question! Of course – this was all to do with 'the future'!

As soon as the conclusion came to me, I began to feel uncertain again. Even though I'd successfully identified the problem, I still wasn't entirely certain what Rikku wanted from me – or even what I'd done wrong. Was it so crazy to assume she'd return to the Gullwings now that everything was getting back to normal?

Apparently so. But if Rikku didn't want to rejoin Paine and her cousin, what in Spira's name did she want?

I stared at the doorway through which Rikku had left the bridge and unbidden, an answer formed in my mind:

She wants to stay with you.

As soon as the words had struck me, I knew them to be true. Spira knows how – it certainly wasn't something that had occurred to me beforehand. It wasn't that I didn't want to see more of Rikku, spend more time with her; it's just … well I guess I just assumed she'd leave.

But if she wanted to stay … wait – was she expecting me to ask her? Was that what the previous painful charade had been about?

She wants to stay with me.

The realisation was startling. What was equally surprising was the vague feeling that maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea if Rikku did return with me to Djose Temple. I hadn't seen it before but the thought of parting from her was strangely unpleasant. I guessed it was a feature of our changing relationship … was this what love felt like?

Before I knew what I was doing, I was striding across the empty bridge, slapping the door-pad and waiting impatiently as the door slid ponderously open. In my head I was forming the words I would say to Rikku. I wanted her to come with me to the temple, but equally, I didn't want to seem overly eager. I'd be cool, calm and collected; my tone would be offhand, as if it was something I'd come up with on the spur of the moment. After all, appearances are important and I've got a reputation to think about, you know?

The door slid open and I stepped through, so deep in thought that I almost walked straight into the figure on the other side. Stumbling backwards to avoid a collision, I raised my head and recognised –

"Rikku?"

The girl in question swept her mass of coiled braids from her face and regained her balance. Her face was flushed but whether that was due to embarrassment at our collision or something else, I wasn't sure.

"What are you doin' out here?" I asked, thinking that she must have been taking minute steps if she was still heading towards her cabin.

"I was – I was just …" Her cheeks darkened even further. "I was just on the way to my cabin."

She was lying but I let it pass. After all, I'd been coming to find her and it didn't really matter where our conversation took place.

"Um … did you want something?" she asked after few more moments had passed and I still hadn't spoken.

Inwardly I berated myself. Be cool, be calm and be collected, I thought firmly. You're just asking her to come with you to Djose. It's not like you're making a commitment or anything …

"Er – yeah. I wanted to ask you – I wanted to ask you somethin'."

Real smooth, Gippal, I thought, inwardly cringing at how clumsy my words sounded.

Rikku tipped her head to one side, waiting. The disappointed look in her eyes was shifting into something much more hopeful.

I couldn't meet her gaze and so chose to stare fixedly at a spot just beyond her left ear. It was pathetic how I could stand firm in the face of a huge world-destroying machina and be reduced to a quivering wreck by a lithe, green-eyed girl. When had she gained this power of me? And why hadn't I noticed until now?

I gathered my remaining wits together and attempted to fix a confident smile on my face. "I was – I was thinkin' about what you said. About what happens now."

Rikku's gaze sought mine expectantly.

"And I was wonderin' …" Just say it! "I was wonderin' if you maybe – if you're not doin' anythin' else that is … if you maybe wanna come back to Djose Temple … with me."

It wasn't cool, it wasn't calm and it certainly wasn't collected but it had finally been said and I breathed an internal sigh of relief. I felt like I just played a Sphere Break match against Shinra – although not having heard the answer yet, I wasn't sure whether I'd lost or won.

The expression on Rikku's face instantly reassured me. She was smiling, albeit a little nervously and it was the first time she'd looked happy in days.

"I'd like that," she said simply, reaching out hesitantly and taking my hand, cradling it between her two small ones. At first I stiffened at her unexpected touch but slowly I relaxed and even went so far as to lace my fingers through hers.

We remained like that for some time; simply standing quietly and enjoying each other's company. There was a silence there but the awkwardness was gone, replaced with a comfortable familiarity that I was coming to associated with my feelings for Rikku. It wasn't love – not quite – but somehow I knew it could be.

Only time would tell.