Random and slightly pointless introduction: So this is another really short chapter. Sue me. I've been having writer's block, so it took a while to upload. Wimpy chapter. Yay. Hmm, I think I just might have an unhealthy interest in suicide... Next story, I promise, will be happy and bubbly. Or at least no suicide.
Warning: Suicidal themes. Don't like, don't read.
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I threw open the door. "Kenny!" I shouted.
He spun around. His shotgun was aimed at my head. Kenny had tears streaming down his cheeks as his hand shook. "What are you doing here, Butters?" he spat.
I stared at his shotgun. "I-I..."
He laughed coldly and without humor. "You saw the letter... Instead of Cartman..."
I looked up into his sad blue eyes with a pleading look. "You don't have to kill yourself, Kenny, please don't do it..."
He narrowed his distant, gleaming eyes at me. "Why not? Because you'll miss me? Because I have my whole life ahead of me?" His voice had a cold, mocking tone.
I looked at my feet. I didn't have anything to say to that.
"You don't know anything about me, Butters. You don't know anything about my life. Honestly, I don't give a damn if anyone misses me. And about having my whole life ahead of me... I know exactly where I'm going if I don't die now," Kenny continued icily. "I'm not smart, Butters. I know I'm not. I don't plan on marrying some rich bitch, either. So, in short, I'll become my dad. That's one thing I don't plan on doing."
"You're nothing like your dad, Kenny! You won't become him, I know you won't!" I insisted hopelessly. "Put down the gun, Kenny, I can help you..."
"I don't want help," he almost growled. "And I don't need it."
My vision clouded with tears. "Kenny, you can't just give up..."
He drew a hand up to his face and covered it, I guessed to hide the tears. "And why not, Butters?"
I looked down and shook my head slowly, my breathing becoming uneven, from trying to keep from sobbing. "Because it isn't worth it, Kenny..." I whispered.
His electric blue eyes narrowed. "What do you mean?"
I looking back up as the tears streamed down and hit the floor. "Taking away the pain isn't worth it."
"Isn't worth what?" he hissed.
"It isn't worth missing out. The thing is, you don't know what's ahead of you. You say you'll become your dad, but you don't know! You just don't, and you can't know unless you figure it out yourself!" I cried.
The gun clicked, but it wasn't aimed at me anymore. "That little speech might've worked on Stan or Kyle. Hell, maybe even Cartman. But not me."
I stared at him, drenched in tears, completely helpless.