Title – Lamenting the Past
Disclaimer – I don't own CSI :(.
Summary – While on an emotionally, stressful case, Sara is shoved back into her past and worse her co-workers are witnessing it all.
Rating – T
Author's Note – This story takes place sometime between sixth and seventh season. Warning this story has disturbing situations.
Hey thank you to everyone who reviewed! I hope you guys find this story enjoyable. It is my first so this is kind of a practice round :)
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"Honey it really doesn't look that bad." Grissom argued from the front seat of his car driving towards the lab and viewing Sara's deep purple bruise on her rib.
"Not that bad? Gil our dog used me as a trampoline!"
He smirked, he shouldn't but he couldn't help it. This morning he tried to get some, and he was pretty damn close, but it seems that Hank didn't like to wait to be let out and jumped on the bed on top of Sara just as Grissom was going to pull her pants down. It was an instant mood killer and with the dog barking and Gil's cell phone ringing, whatever sex drive they had that morning, was gone.
Catherine needed Grissom and every body to come in early, she would clue everyone in once they all got in. Grissom said he would pick Sara up on his way in to cut time short.
"You better give me the best sex I've ever had for this morning." She grumbled poking and prodding at the oddly shaped purple and blue bruise.
"Well I can't say I'll argue."
Things have been getting better for Sara. She was really emotional about the Teri Miller case and settled down after a week. Now a month later they received the notice of the court appearances of the acting CSI's that were involved in the case. Sara was jumbled by the documentation but only because she hated courts and lawyers. They always dug into your private life and brought the most unnecessary stuff into the court room, just to make you sweat and loose your nerve. Half the time it worked too! Grissom always seemed to have such a way with lawyers.
Grissom had a way with everything, which was one of the reasons Sara fell in love with him. At first she had a feeling that when her father was murdered she never really had a father figure and "looked for validation in inappropriate places" like chasing after a man sixteen years older then she. She has always been one to want to be the star pupil of anything, it was her goal. Being neglected as a child made her strive for attention. After getting to know Gil Grissom she really fell in love with him. At first it was lust and longing to be the star but after working side by side with him, she really, truly, loved him.
Which was why it hurt so bad to be ignored by him. It hurt so much that it drove her to alcohol.
But all that was past them now. And as her fingers reached up and cupped his knee, and watching the smile grow on his face it really did make all of the difference. He was a real geek lost in his own world and for whatever reason he wouldn't let her in. but the minute he let the female version of him in, it was too late to push her out.
The minute they pulled up to the lab it was easy to put on a façade. Nobody suspected them of having an intimate relationship and that was how they wanted it to be. Go to work have nobody pry into their personal life then they can go home and do what couples do.
They walked into the break room to find everyone already there talking quietly or drinking coffee thinking to themselves.
"Hey guys cutting time huh?" Warrick teased from his position on the couch.
Sara shrugged and sat next to him, in between him and Nick.
"So what is so urgent that you called us in super early?" Gil asked getting straight to business.
"Teri Miller's case. The trial was pushed to today, in just a few hours actually. I know everyone has their stuff ready but I just wanted to make sure we don't miss that trial. I want that girl put away." Catherine said and placed the folder down on the table.
"Only Sara, Greg, and I are going right?"
"Yes, but the rest of us are allowed to be in the audience."
"Remember guys, this isn't about hate. Sara, look at me." Sara's head was turned staring at the coffee pot. When she turned her head to look at him he continued, "This is about the evidence. That girl committed a murder and it is our job to give them the facts. Do not make this personal. If you personalize it then the lawyers will feed on that and devour you. Do you two understand me?" They both nodded their acknowledgements.
"Let's get changed, we can swing by your place Sara since I picked you up and then Greg we'll meet you at the court house. You guys too." With that said Sara and Grissom headed out.
"You know how much I love that skirt." Grissom growled when she walked out of the bathroom.
Sara laughed and winked, "Well you know how hot I get when you're in your suit."
"Oh I know."
They laughed and as quickly as they came in they walked out.
"Ready for this honey?"
"I guess, it's so hard for me to not be emotionally involved like you. I really have to take lessons from you." Grissom just shrugged.
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She swore she blacked out. For whatever reason, she couldn't remember getting to the court room and meeting up with everyone before they all piled up into the court room. If she wasn't completely aware at this second she swore Grissom slipped her a sedative.
She sat next to Greg and Grissom next to Greg. They were in the front, just behind the lawyer fighting to have Teri put behind bars. They went through the introductions and the long boring speeches of what Teri Miller did to her baby girl. Teri was brought to the stand.
"Do you swear nothing but the truth and to tell nothing but the truth?"
"I do." She whispered.
"We may begin."
A middle aged man walked up, he had dark brown hair obviously his grays were covered by hair dye but he was still a handsome man in a well cut suit.
"Miss Miller can you please give us your side of the story?"
And she did. She went into full detail of how she could not remember but she had been slipped a date rape and just a month in a half after that she found she was pregnant. Her initial plan was to give the baby up for adoption but when the baby came she was alone and scared. Gave birth to her daughter in a bathtub. She cut the umbilical chord and pulled the placenta out flushing it down the toilet. After that she weakly carried the baby planning on to the orphanage. She caught sight of some peers from her old high school and freaked out. She placed the baby into the dumpster and wrapped her up in the bag.
"Miss Miller, why didn't you file a rape charge? We have no evidence what so ever to prove or back up your story."
"I… I was seventeen and didn't know what I should tell my parents. At the time they would have thrown me out."
"We understand that you must have been terrified miss Miller, but why harm this baby? Was your pride more important then saving this baby's life?"
"Objection!" The young blonde lawyer shouted. She was Teri's lawyer and a bitch at that.
"I'll allow it."
"I …. I freaked out… I wasn't thinking…"
Mr. Todd smiled sympathetically, "No more further questions, thank you Miss Miller."
Rebecca Freeman stood up and fixed her tight red mini skirt. Her perfectly manicured nails matched the apple red suit she wore.
"Miss Miller are you seeking psychiatric help for the unbearable situations you have gone through?"
"Yes mam."
"At the time you were claimed to have been mentally unstable?"
Again Teri nodded, "That is correct."
Rebecca nodded, "No further questions you may have a seat Miss Miller."
Joshua Todd stood up, "Will Gilbert Grissom please come to the stand?"
Gil stood up and walked over to the stand perfectly as if this has been rehearsed perfectly.
He stated his full name and that he swore to tell nothing but the truth and so it began. Sara studied his actions, taking on his tricks.
"At the crime scene we found nothing to suggest that Miss Miller is not telling the truth. Everything she has claimed is the truth. Although, there were major bruising around the baby's torso and arms." He paused and placed the slides up showing the bruising.
"We still have yet to find out what caused these bruises and the accused is not speaking."
"So is it possible that these bruises were sustained after post mortem?"
"No sir. These bruises were placed there before the baby died."
"Could it be bruises from passing through the birth canal?"
"No, there would be bruising around the head and possibly the arms but these bruises as you can see here," He clicked on his lap top to enhance the photo, "These are hand marks. The baby was grabbed roughly suggesting Miss Miller man handled the baby presumably to quiet her."
"Objection!" Rebecca shouted.
"Over ruled."
"A young girl, scared and not knowing what to do or how to do it probably roughly handled the baby in order to try and quiet her." Grissom continued.
"Thank you Mr. Grissom, I have no further questions." Mr. Todd said taking a seat.
"Ms. Freeman would you like to add anything?"
She shook her head, "No Your Honor."
"Very well, thank you Mr. Grissom. Will Greg Sanders please step up to the stand please?"
Greg slowly made his way to the seat and in the same order he was asked to give his statement on what evidence was brought in. He claimed everything Grissom did and more of the DNA evidence.
"DNA matches Sean Matthews as the father. Whether he really raped Miss Miller is not available in evidence. Although he has been interrogated. He denied any accusations and said it was consensual. We can't press charges without proof."
"Thank you Mr. Sanders no further questions. Will Sara Sidle please step up to the stand?"
Sara took a deep breath and stood up. She straightened her skirt and listened as her heels clicked across the cool tile in the court room. It was the only sound besides the occasional cough.
She took a seat and stated her name and just like everyone else swore by the truth. Sara went on to explain her findings and evidence which matches Grissom's and Greg's.
"I would like to believe Miss Miller's story, about how she was planning on going to the orphanage and take care of the baby, but with the bruises it makes it seem as though she had no intention of delivering the baby to a safe place." Sara explained.
Rebecca came waltzing up to her in those ridiculously high heels.
"If that was her original intent how do you explain finding the baby fifteen miles away from her house?"
"Hide the body. We see it all the time in our line of work. It is basic psychology; if we find a body miles away from the original link then it would seem that it can not be them."
"Ms Sidle you claim her intentions were to not drop the baby off at an orphanage, what do you think she could have done to prevent these events." Rebecca asked as she paced around the room.
"For starters she could have seen a psychologist, they do quiet counseling all the time. Even give out free programs without consulting the parents. Planned Parenthood would have taken care of her without ever letting the parents know. She would have had everything she needed and a safe place to give birth. They would have had all of the adoption papers ready and take the baby without her ever getting emotionally attached or detached. Adoption for this child really is the best thing for an unfit mother." Sara explained going into full dramatic mode but having to keep the emotion out of her voice.
"Like you Ms Sidle?" Rebecca straightened her skirt and came bounding up to the stand.
"Objection! Ms. Sidle's past has nothing to do with this case." Joshua cried from his seat.
"I wasn't talking about Sara's past, I was implying her trips to the adoption center."
"I … Don't understand the accusation."
"No? Let me spell it out for you." Mega Bitch walked over to her table and picked up a manila folder, "In the year of 2000 you gave birth to a Dylan Zachary with no last name. You gave him up for adoption and fled for Las Vegas."
"Objection! Ms. Sidle you do not have to answer this, this has nothing to do with our case."
"Sustained. What are you getting at Ms. Freeman?"
"That Sara Sidle thinks everything is a golden ticket when it comes to adoption. Isn't that right Ms. Sidle?"
Sara shook her head. This wasn't happening, that was a part of her life she never thought would reappear. This was a nightmare! She made mistakes in her life but for the most part she believed that this was one good thing. After all look how screwed up she was. How was she to raise a child when she couldn't even come to terms with her self?
"I was not fit to raise a child. He had no father and I couldn't raise a baby by myself, not with my line of work which keeps me away from the house at all hours. What I did was no illegal, I did not murder my own child." She whispered darkly.
Flashbacks of San Francisco came bearing back. She was twenty-six and scared. She planed to keep him, it was why she named him but then she freaked out at the last minute and decided she could not raise a child and gave him up for adoption.
"Of course you didn't and I am sure he is living a perfectly well life."
"I was adopted and I was brought up just fine." Sara argued. This bitch was tearing into her soul.
She gave her a distasteful look, "Right, well Ms Sidle did you know that four months ago Dylan Alex which would be… six now was placed back into the orphanage you placed him in. He was adopted a few months of being there and a horrible car accident left him parentless. That is a life wouldn't you say?"
"Objection! The cruel facts of life have nothing to do with Sara's decision!"
"I am done Ms Sidle you may have a seat."
Sara slowly stood up feeling dizzy from the adrenaline rush and somehow made her way over to her seat. She refused to make eye contact with anyone.
Sara was in a blur, after giving out the evidence and justification to what Teri Miller did the Jury finally came to a decision. Guilty.
Sara was up and out before anyone had any time to question her.
Grissom was in shock. She never mentioned this not ever. Maybe he could understand if they were just supervisor and subordinate but he was her lover now. They shared things that not everyone knew about. Her past was a secret to anyone that knew her and obviously she was keeping things from him too. He wouldn't hold it against her… he loved everything about her and the decisions she make are part of a learning experience. Although, women are more reserved, she probably felt unimaginable guilt for leaving a baby behind. He could understand why she never told him… but that still didn't take the hurt away.
"Sara… adoption?"
"Sara had a baby?"
"I knew Sara could be promiscuous but damn!"
"Shh She is probably upset!"
All kinds of things were being said and he didn't know what to say. The voices were buzzing around his head like a hot air balloon.
"Hey um… you guys heading back to the lab or home? It's my night off so I guess I'm heading home." Grissom said slowly.
"Um well we were going to head back home until shift starts tonight so yeah, guess we'll see you tomorrow or the next day whatever…" Catherine said standing up.
"Hey Grissom… Did you know? About Sara?" Greg asked quietly shuffling his feet.
"No… no I didn't. I think we should leave it at that."
They all agreed knowing this had to be a tough one for Sara and went their separate ways. Grissom spent fifteen minutes looking for her but finally he spotted her over by a fountain.
The sky was a dark grey and threatening to shed a downpour on their heads. The fountain Sara was seated next to was creating a soothing atmosphere, calming even his nerves. He took one look back up at the sky and then back down to Sara holding her hands and wringing them tightly. He sighed and set next to her. She didn't have to say anything for him to feel her anxiety.
They just sat there not speaking for several minutes, Grissom guessed at least seven minutes.
"He came two months early." If he wasn't concentrating on her breathing patterns he would have missed her words.
He said nothing but just continued to listen, although he did cock his head slightly to view her. She was deathly pale and her hair that was pulled back neatly was now slipping around her face.
"I was ready to keep him, that's how he had a name. I even bought him everything he needed, crib, baby clothes, diapers, everything. But when he showed up two months early I was terrified and fled to the hospital. I gave him up for adoption with all of his stuff the next day. I told myself, if I couldn't handle this surprise then there is no way I can handle taking on a baby whom is full of surprises."
Gil still said nothing, this wasn't about him right now. This was about Sara and needing to let go of her past. He took her hand reassuring her that no matter what he will always love her and protect her.
She sniffled tears falling down her cheeks, "Gil, take me home."
He didn't need to be told twice and took her by the waist being careful to not be too close to her in case somebody was watching but close enough to show that he did indeed care for her well being and silently they drove home in silence with her silent muffled cries. And god it broke his heart to hear her pain but not being able to do anything about it. He couldn't wait to be through the doors of their home and show her just exactly how deeply he cared for her.
Well now we know about Sara's past! What will happen next for Grissom? Will this break them or make them?! Please review and thank you to everyone who reviewed prior!!