Chapter 2 Guilt
So many thoughts kept racing through my mind, if I would of done something different would we be in this position. All he wanted to do was to protect me, was I the cause of this. After what had happened at the beach last night I hadn't said a word since, Brax was anxious to find out the truth but no matter how much I tried no words could explain what had happened. The police had already been round to try and get a statement but I still couldn't speak, I knew I needed to but I just couldn't face living through it all again. I had been sat in the same spot of the sofa all day dressed in Casey's hoodie, it was enormous on me but it smelt like him and I just want to pretend none of this has happened for a couple of hours. I wanted it to feel as if he was right there, sat next to me on the sofa beating me on the xbox, telling me stupid jokes and talking to each other, but I knew that that was never going to happened again.
Everyone was sat at the table organising a funeral for Casey , Brax was dis-interested and I could see him out of the corner of my eye keep looking over at me.
"We need to tell Heath and Cheryl" Kyle spoke
"I'll ring them tonight" Ricky assured
"What about the funeral arrangements" Kyle questioned
Kyle waited a while before beginning again " Brax, what about the funeral arrangements"
"Do whatever" Brax mumbled before walking over to the sofa where I was sat.
I keep my eyes fixated on the floor not being able to bare to look at Brax and see the pain in his eyes, he picked up the picture of Himself, Casey, Heath, Kyle and Myself that Ricky had taken of us before Heath had left for the city. I place my hand on top of his and squeeze it tightly.
"It's going to be okay" Brax mimes to me
A few hours later there was banging at the door, Ricky opens the door to see mum stood crying at the door. I could tell how upset she was, deep down everyone always knew Casey and I where her favourites because really we weren't actually Braxton's we where Barrett's, For my whole life I have been a Braxton and a few months ago that all changed when Casey and I found out were technically a Barrett. Mum had always taken a special interest in Casey though, he was her golden boy and could never do any wrong. I knew mum loved me but I always knew that I was only special because I was Johnny's daughter otherwise she wouldn't of cared, I've always known she didn't want a daughter.
Mum walks over to me, tears rolling down her cheeks. I could already smell the alcohol on her breathe before she even started talking.
"You need to tell us what happened" Mum demanded
"Leave off her Cheryl she been through enough" Kyle says protectively
"Well are you going to say anything" Mum scoffed
"She's still in shock she will speak when she's ready" Kyle added
"Well when she's ready isn't good enough, my little boy is dead and she was the only one there." Mum shouted "It was your fault wasn't it, that's why your not speaking because your feeling guilty"
"Why don't we just calm down" Kyle says firmly
"What's going on mum" Brax says assertively walking into the room
"I'm sorry" I whisper
"I think it's time you go Cheryl, I'll drive you home" Kyle suggested
"I'll find my own way home I can tell where I'm not wanted" Mum said storming out the house, slamming the door behind her
"It's all my fault" I cry
"None of this is your fault Paige, your mums just upset she doesn't mean anything she said" Phoebe adds
How would you know you weren't there, you didn't see him get shot none of you did, you don't understand " I shout
"Talk to us, make us understand" Kyle says sympathetically as he sits down next to me and places his arm around me.
"Casey told me not to, but I didn't listen" I croaked trying to fight back the tears
"Told you not to what?" Brax butted in
"I said something and he got angry, so he pinned me up against the wall and put the gun to my head" I continue "and then Casey... Casey tryed to get him off of me and then it all happened so quickly... The gun had gone off and... and he'd shot him" I sob barley able to keep it together
Kyle gripped me tighter holding on to me trying to comfort me as best as he could.
"Who was it?" Brax demanded
"It was..." I say before freezing knowing what I was about to say would turn my family into chaos
"Tell me, who was it" Brax says slamming his hands on the table
"Jake, it was jake Pirovic, he was after you" I announce
The room feel silent everyone looked at Brax who was stood white in the face, looking down at his tattoo. No one knew what to say, we all knew that Jake wasn't going to give up and was going to keep coming back until Brax is dead. I couldn't bare the thought of loosing another brother.