Say It Twice
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"'Ere ya go, miss," came the friendly drawl of the man returning Neirah's basket. "It was good of you to come to town so late. Make's an ol' fisherman appreciate that he stayed out all day."
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Neirah's brow knotted as she pondered his tale and she slipped her hood back up over her ears in preparation to carry on her way. "Business is poor during the day?" She couldn't help but pry, passing off the fish and vegetables she'd purchased to her quiet companion. "How strange. These types of markets are usually bustling from dawn to dusk."
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"Aye, but lately, at least, things ain't been right," he informed with a wary look in his dusty hazel eyes. "Real seedy group of wizards've been stalkin' around and scarin' away business. "Causin' a decent, reputable guild a real storm of trouble too. Claim to be dragons of some kind. It's a real mess."
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Neirah raised her fingers to her throat to hide the way it forced the dry words down. "How unfortunate," she murmured empathetically. For good measure, she reached down to see to it that the Infinity Dragon insignia on her outer thigh was well covered by her cloak. "I do hope they find what they're after soon and stop scaring away the good people of the city."
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"Gosh, that's mighty fine of you miss. Does an old man's heart some good."
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Her smile was genuine as she beamed back at the kind sir. "I'm glad of it."
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The old fisherman took pause for a moment and scratched his ashy coloured beard. "You pups ain't from around here are you?"
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Neirah gave her head a swift shake, trying to remain as honest as possible. "No sir, just passing through."
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"Figured as much," he grinned back at them expressively. "Well, it's a good thing you brought yer hubby out here fer the travel." The old fisher continued to talk even as Laxus paled guiltily behind the small woman he towered above. "The forests 'round town fill with eerie noises at night."
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Neirah blinked back at the man inquisitively for a moment, but not because he mentioned the suspicious presence that she knew to be her own guild. "Er, I'm sorry?"
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"Eerie noises, lassie. Some even claim to hear dragon's roars and see 'ere fire-"
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"No, no. The first part?"
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"Ehn?" The old man observed the young woman carefully before looking back to where Laxus repeatedly shook his head. He adjusted his glasses with a bellowing laugh. "Wah hah! Oh, don't mind this old fool, lassie," he expelled in thunderous choir. "All the seawater's startin' to make me see things."
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Neirah laughed harmoniously with the man, although naively. "Don't be so hard on yourself," she chided. "I have a dear friend waiting for my arrival that I'm sure will just love the fish you've sold me."
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"Ah, it was truly my pleasure miss-?"
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Neirah's breath caught as she pondered the uncertain implications of introducing herself by name. If Zade really did have so much influence on that side of the kingdom, there would be no telling how far he'd go to seize her. At the same time, she didn't want to be rude. She stammered out her words in fragments. "Uhm, I-"
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"Hate to cut this short, old man, but that's our ship," Laxus rumbled. He strategically took Neirah's hand and led her away from the fisherman's inquiry. He thought nothing of the effort at first, but he wouldn't deny that the warmth of her presence set him at ease after nearly losing her that morning. "We'll be sure to stop by next time we're in town."
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"Til' then, th-" Neirah and Laxus had already had their backs turned, unable to see the immediate drop in the old man's expression upon their hastened retreat. "Just hold on there a minute!" He bellowed after them in demand.
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"Crap," Laxus hissed eagerly. His grip on Neirah's hand tightened defensively as sparks crawled over his knuckles like frightened serpents. They could send a hundred to try and arrest them, it wouldn't stop him from tearing them apart. "I was hopin' to avoid this."
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"I'm sorry," she mewled softly. Her own grip on his hand instinctively tightened with her anxiety for the impending conflict. Neither of them were in a condition to be fighting. "I shouldn't have lingered."
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"If the old man sounds the alarm, I want you to ghost the hell out of here in the shadows, got it?"
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"Laxus!" She whispered in outraged denial.
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"Just do i-!"
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"You! Boy!"
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Laxus flinched before turning and facing the man again, barely catching the sight of the bounding figure behind the material of his cloak hood.
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"Shame on you for makin' an old man guess!"
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Laxus cast his gaze to Neirah, she did the same to him.
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"Sorry?" Laxus mumbled tentatively. Both he and Neirah shuddered when the old man grabbed a hold of his belly and let out a jolly laugh.
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"You're Makarov's boy!"
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There was a hitch in Laxus' breath as the association was made.
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"Well, not 'is, but a descendant of his. Blah, blah, listen to me! Prattling on like a child in front of wizarding royalty," he gave another hearty chuckle. "You've come from Fairy Tail then?"
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Laxus diverted his gaze in the same moment Neirah focused on encrypting hers. "Not any-"
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"Yes," Neirah interrupted equally as strategically. "Yes, we have."
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She had become the queen of half-truths lately.
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"My word!" The man roared with delight. "It's about time they shipped some top-notch pest control out here!" He lowered his tone and wiped a delighted tear from his eyes that had raised by force of his laughter. "My word," he repeated quietly. "Well, this is a rare treat indeed."
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Neirah replaced her apprehensive smile. "You honour us, sir."
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"Hah, no, the honour is all mine miss-?"
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Neirah felt much better introducing herself with his enthusiastic embrace. "Neirah," she purred gently.
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"Neirah. Neirah… Joko. That's what 'ey call me by. S'A damn pleasure Miss Neirah. I hope we chat again real soon." Neirah nodded her agreement before turning to set their course of retreat but no more than a breath later, the man was interrupting them a final time.
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"'Ey lad!"
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Assuming that Joko was speaking with him, Laxus expectantly turned to face him.
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"I didn't catch yer name."
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Laxus thought on the request for a moment, unsure of why he had already expected to be swept under his grandfather's shadow for the umpteenth time. There was a flicker of hesitation in his wavering gaze before he finally replied.
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"It's Laxus… sir…"
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Joko gave a hearty nod and a tender smile as he waved them off. "Laxus, I reckon I'll remember that one!"
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Laxus watched him for another long moment, completely forgetting that his fib had already encouraged them away from company prematurely. Looking back at the man appreciatively, Laxus found the smallest of smiles gracing his expression.
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Neirah watched the recognition warm her companion and in doing so, her brow creased over her gentle smile. Reminding him of their situation, she gently reached out and repeated the unexpected gesture he had offered her a moment before. Without another word, she curled her fingers around his hand and took a silent step forward.
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Laxus' heart missed a beat as he was guided through the quieting market. Shops all around them were closing their doors for the night but they had managed to get the supplies that Neirah had come for before dusk had seen that time upon them.
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For a moment, he just watched her smile as she walked like she had been the one touched by old Joko's sentiment. He knew that deep down, although Infinity Dragon's master didn't like to talk about it much, she missed the home they had turned from to fight for the cause that, hours before, had almost seen them torn apart. Reminding himself of that morning, he saw his gaze wandering to her bandaged hand in his. His expression weighed negatively as the grim events resurfaced in his mind, and be it conscious or instinctive, his fingers tightened around hers.
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"What's a hubby?"
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Laxus shivered with her humble inquiry as they stopped along the street to grant passage to others. "Hmn-?"
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"A hubby," she continued. She turned her large, curious sapphire gaze to face him with a delicate wrinkle in her nose. Give him demons, give him dragons, but those eyes? "Joko called you a hubby. What's a hubby?"
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He knew spending time alone with her was going to get awkward after their encounter earlier that day, but he had really hoped that it would take longer. "Er… It's like a bodyguard," he fibbed. He casually reclaimed his hand to slide it back over his neck. "Y'know, personal protector-"
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One of Neirah's thinned brows cocked in amusement of his staggering retort. "If I ask my brother what a hubby is when we get back, what are the chances he'll give the same answer?"
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As an artist, he was sure she'd appreciate the palette of reds his cheekbones were in the process of displaying. "It's a slang term," he admitted sheepishly.
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"For?"
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It was the guiltless thirst for knowledge, the way her naivety was only as deep as she'd let it be. As a man of few words and even fewer delicate conversational traits, he couldn't stand how eager she was to nail him to the spot. "A husband…" Shortly after his surrender, he admitted that he probably could have been a little more delicate with the truth than he was, but as a straight-to-the-point kind of girl, he was sure she could appreciate his simplicity. Not to mention he was more than willing to spare himself the humiliation of trying to flower his words.
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Neirah smiled, a normal, regular smile as she diverted her attention like Joko's assumption hadn't made her nearly as uncomfortable as it had made him. "How cute," she mused out loud upon starting along their path again.
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And there it was, the bitter pain of ice wanting to rob his heart of a beat. It happened every time she outwardly denied that she had any interest in his affections, no matter how playful. It hurt worse this time, though. The sharp pain of his next few breaths had his step hesitant and his fingers reaching to his chest like they thought they could help. A pained hiss caught between his teeth before he realised that maybe the pain he was feeling wasn't for her blatant lack of affection and more the weapon that had pierced his chest that morning.
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Neirah was a couple steps ahead of him before she realised that she wasn't being followed anymore. With a concerned pout, she slowly turned to look over her shoulder. "Laxus?" A soft little whine found her chest as she rushed to his side at the sight of blood in his raised hand. It was leaking through his bandages. He may have just been looking at his upturned palm as casually as ever, but she couldn't allow him to be observed being so blatantly detached. "Damn, not good," she whined. She pulled the sides of his shirt in towards his chest to cover the leaking wound. "If people see this, they're going to ask questions."
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He blinked weakly down at her, his unamused expression stony with her utter lack of concern for his well-being. "Yeah, no I'm alright. Thanks for askin'." He snorted impatiently and turned his hushed murmur to one side. "Bitch…" Laxus' eyes widened as she reached out and slapped the unwounded, but still tender, flesh of his left pectoral. He had about a hundred sullied words he wanted to rain down on her head, but, with great restraint, he managed to contain them.
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"This is no time to be a smart-ass," she scolded while digging through one of her baskets. "You're lucky that half of my reason for coming to town was to get more medicinal supplies for Arihana."
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Laxus jerked his head to one side as she thrust a paper bag into his arms to cover his wound in her absence. "Great. What was the other half?" He didn't think about his words before he uttered them in disgust above her, but as her rummaging slowed at his feet, he started to offer his own implications a second thought.
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Neirah's cheeks warmed as she continued to search her purchases. It would do her no good to admit that after the morning they'd had, she had secretly just wanted to be alone with her thoughts. Mainly because, when he had stepped in and offered to accompany her, she forgot all about solitary thoughts and turned them instead to the warmth she'd felt during their intimate encounter that dawn. She wanted to be near him, she wanted to cling desperately to the tenderness she'd experienced in his arms that morning. But then a part of her wanted to be far away from it, far away from the lie that was the man before her.
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"The other half was the fish that I bought Pantherlily," she assured him curtly as she knelt motionlessly over her belongings. No, two could play the game. His lips had found their way to hers for the second time in their lives but like after the first, nothing came after it. He was as grim and lifeless as ever, and up until she'd suggested leaving, he hadn't said another word to her.
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She hadn't minded before; before she knew what such an embrace held for value. Joining Infinity Dragon, even under Kairyn's lead, had shown her many things about a simple kiss. Mainly, her education came from the young couple that now served under her. Frost and Wavebreak, Arihana and Damion; they were in love. Their kisses meant the world to them. She feared it hadn't meant much to the only man to ever offer her such an experience.
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Her mind was going a million miles a minute. The reason he could tell was that her thumb was picking at her middle fingernail, her gaze was searching the dust at her feet for an excuse. He hadn't meant to make her feel uncomfortable, but in the end, it served his purpose just fine. He felt a lot less guilty for the suggestion he was about to make. "Look, it's sundown and this mess isn't gonna be an easy one to patch up in the streets unnoticed." He hated how cheesy he sounded for even suggesting it of a man and a woman so pent with sexual tension you could carve a face in it. "Why don't we get a room here for the night and make our way back first thing. I'm not totally against the idea of a shower." He left out the temperature of the water just in case miss cult innocence picked up on his implications.
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Neirah whirled to face him swiftly with defiance on her gentle pout. He might've been able to take her more seriously if he hadn't of teased himself with its taste hours before. "I can't just abandon my guild after the day we've had. We didn't find Zade's body after your fight. Laxus, he could still be out there."
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"Or a pile of ash on the wind," Laxus argued sternly. "Yeah, the sword through the chest kinda hurt, but it wasn't what put me on my ass." His demand refused to budge on the subject. "You were."
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There it was. The heart-wrenching feeling of guilt twisting its finger in the heart Zade was inches from ripping from his chest. He sucked back a hard breath, his chest aching as his heart raced sporadically beneath it. She looked back at him like a dog he'd kicked and left in the rain all night. She had done what she thought was right and had disputed it internally for long before it was almost too late. She had no idea that the transfer of magical power between them would almost claim his life in the process. "Neirah, I didn't mean-"
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Neirah's wide and desperate gaze shifted as she watched a drop of fresh blood strike the earth in front of her. He was right. Her actions had almost cost him his life, but by the grace of the gods, it was also what saw them both to safety that day. Her selfish actions still stung open wounds and forced her blood cold. She had almost killed the man she loved, the least she could do was let him get a single night of decent rest before she threw him back into the fire.
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"No, you're right," she owned upon slowly climbing to her feet. "I was reckless, I didn't think of the effects my magic would have on someone like you."
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Someone like you. He trapped his words behind ground teeth, trying desperately to refrain from demanding what she'd meant by that statement.
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"I also never properly thanked you for coming for me," she admitted solemnly. She finally connected their gazes. "You saved my life, and I almost claimed yours in return."
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"Neirah-" His chest swelled with unintentional warmth when she looked up at him with an appreciative smile.
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It was nice to hear someone call her by her true name for a change, not Shadow, or Empress. Just Neirah… "I'm not afraid to account for my actions," she sang in a gently playful tone. "And look at it this way, it's because of that that you're going to get your way." She giggled. "And your shower." She reached out and gently patted the uninjured side of his chest. "Come on, Sparky, I think I saw an inn back here somewhere."
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He didn't know if it was the blood loss or the gently aware sway of her hips as she took to the path ahead that had his knees weak and head light with the haze of reality crackling between channels of perfection. It was that smooth and confident attitude that pushed him forwards when he wanted to fall to the floor. He was a dog on her leash and followed her like one. Followed her to the inn, followed her into battle… to infinity.
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Having her by his side made him want to be weak, made him want to escape the demons clawing around the dark passages they carved out with his own two hands. But at the same time, he wanted to be strong, to make her proud. He was caught between two very opposing forces, not just then, but every time she joined his presence. He just wanted to be… everything she wanted him to be.
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He tumbled back into reality when the little bell chimed above the door to the inn that Neirah had held open for him. She waved her free hand out to signal him to enter, and upon passing, made gentle mention of her suggestion. "Keep your wounds concealed," she ordered tenderly while warily eyeing the lobby clerk. She curled her lips into a slight smile as she raised on her toes and laid her lips against his neck. "If anyone asks if they can carry something for you, deny them."
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All Laxus could do was choke back the salivation her actions rose to his once parched mouth and nod once with her demands. Even after she'd left, the heat of her breath lingered on his skin and made him dizzy. Either that morning had made her brave or she was a better liar than he thought because she had never attempted the like before. His next breath shuddered as he silently prayed she had more to say. He was moments before asking her why she had to explain her demands to him the way she did, but that was before she was trotting her way giddily to the counter with a broad smile.
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"Such a good hubby," she purred. "Carrying my bags for me."
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A ruse. Another ruse. He was aching from head to toe with the flow of mixed signals conflicting inside him, tying knots in his veins and keeping his heartbeat irregular. He wanted to be close to her, the more time he spent with her, the more he needed it. But at the same time, he worried that getting his wish might be slowly killing him inside. He wanted to back her into a corner, he wanted to push her away. He wanted to cling to her side, but wanted to keep her far from the secrets he harboured; spare her his monotony and doubt. Then she turned and offered him a tender and affectionate smile, beckoning him forth to follow the attendant by her side. He looked down at her outstretched hand before hesitantly accepting its embrace.
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It was how she brought him back to life, only to kill him off again.
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A ruse.
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Which was the ruse?
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It wasn't that the assortment of articles he was carrying was particularly heavy, but by the time they had reached the room they were to stay in that night, his arms didn't want to serve their purpose any longer. His vision dimmed when he was met with a blinding view of the harbour sunset out of their fourth story window, in the moment wishing that his arms were a little more available to shield him from the umber assault.
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He turned away from it instead, a malcontented snort in his next breath. "What do you want me to do with these?" He shrugged the articles out to either side with his inquiry.
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Neirah's sigh was barely audible when it emitted against the door as she slowly closed it behind them and rolled the lock into the wall frame. "I know what you're trying to do," she murmured gently. She tipped her brow to the wooden slab for a moment of thought.
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Laxus cocked a brow expectantly as he stared at her back, arms still out and lined with the fruit of their travels. "Great, so I put them…?"
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She turned to face him with a desperate part-smile as she extended her arm to one side of the room. She hated that every time she wanted to hit him, she also wanted to laugh. "Smart ass," she muttered grimly in stride.
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Laxus watched her cross the room and close the curtains, almost like the sheer fabric would help, then she was on approach. "Well? You know somethin' I don't?" He reprimanded cynically. "Or are you just trying to make me come clean about the pain?"
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Neirah gently shook her head before taking him by the wrist and encouraging him to one of the bedsides. "Sit," she ordered sternly. She waited until he complied before she crossed the room again to rummage through her bags and boxes. She returned to him with fresh bandages in tow and took a seat beside him. "You know full well what I meant."
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He watched her carefully as she reached up to the corner of the bandaging against his shoulder, and that was when he realised that she hadn't looked him in the eye since they'd entered their room. He reached out and interrupted her steady work, snatching her wrist and trying desperately to command her attention. "Y'know, I don't think I do." He hadn't intended on sounding so edgy, but he really was in worse shape than he wanted to allow her to comprehend. "The only thing I'm trying to do right now is keep from makin' this room look like a murder scene. If it's coming off as somethin' else, I'd like in on it."
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He tipped his chin back with an aggravated scowl when her downcast gaze shifted over the fresh linen at their backs. His irritated scoff was matched by her delicate whimper when he reached out and took her chin between his fingers to redirect the gaze attached. "Look, I'm not in the mood for your head game bullshit right now," he informed her curtly. He was far too separated from reality to really judge the weight of his actions. "I suggested this because you're the one who wants to keep this whole thing out of the public eye. I'm not screwin' around. If I wanted a private audience, it'd be lights out for big brother. I wouldn't come out all this way for that crap." He took a moment to ponder the truth of his own words before his attention was slightly diverting. "At least, I don't think I wo-"
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"So, this has nothing to do with what happened earlier?"
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Laxus redirected his gaze to hers and when they met, he almost wished that she had continued to avoid him. It certainly wasn't the first time he'd seen a similar look icing over oceans, and he was sure it wouldn't be the last either. It was a look that made his skin crawl, the only look that could shut him up in an instant for fear of the wrath to follow. "Disappointed?"
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Neirah half-rolled her gaze and gave her head a light shake before returning her fingertips to his bandages. "I'm not surprised," she assured him rather coldly. "The only time you're not being a jackass is when our lives are in danger."
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Laxus recoiled with her insult like it was an attack, the contours of his face doing nothing to hide his aggravation. "Well, you aren't exactly sunshine and rainbows on a daily basis either, Princess."
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Neirah snorted with a wry smile and continued to reach around him to remove the dressing from his wounds. "Well then don't we just make the perfect couple."
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He wasn't sure why her shrewd remark made his stomach roll like a child anxiously awaiting judgment for their petty misdeeds. He winced with the pressure she laid alongside his wound as she peeled the gauze from his skin. "You've been ragging on me for the past two years now," he scolded. "Sorry for appreciating the few and far between moments that you take your claws out of my fucking back."
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Neirah drew her hands away from him to lay one set of bloodied fingertips against the bridge of her nose. She puffed out an exasperated sigh as she pinched her eyes shut and gathered her resolve. "Laxus, you're about two layers of tissue away from me being able to watch the sunset through your chest," she quipped venomously.
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"And whose fault is that?"
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"Look! I said I was sorry!" Neirah demanded upon pushing herself to her feet. She turned to face him, feeling a little braver once she had claimed the higher ground. "I was wrong! What more does that overinflated ego of yours want from me?!"
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Everything.
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She had never said it, but she had always marvelled at how quickly that man was capable of moving when he really wanted to. That aside, her whimper of surprise was weak with her alarm when he stood before her and in one step had her head backed against the wall beneath his palm. For his weakness in that moment, his opposing forearm braced against the partition to help keep him upright, or his version of it. His head was light from pain and blood loss, but regardless, he wanted her quiet and under his control... for a moment, at least.
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"Just stop… fighting."
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Neirah's brow creased as she looked over the webbing between his thumb and forefinger, her breathing shuddering beneath his silencing palm.
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He let his head hang alongside hers, slowly butting his forehead up against the textured wall at her back. "I'm so sick... of fighting you." It took a lot more effort that he wanted to admit when he raised his hand from her face and crossed his arms above her head. She could see the exhaustion weathering his expression as he looked down at her silently for a moment of thought.
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Neirah's gaze glossed beneath his shadow as golden rays broke in ripples around his trembling figure. She hated that he tried to deny the perspiration beading on his brow by blinking it away. It was almost like he didn't think she was savvy enough to see through the ruse he perpetrated, the pain he was suffering. She knew he was in agony, and with the way he shook in front of her, a lot of it. "I always feel more comfortable when we're fighting," she admitted with the return of her vulnerable, mousy tone that liked to accompany such moments.
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She was sure he meant only to blink, but the time his eyelids remained shut made her realise that even primary functions might be proving difficult for him as time progressed. She wasn't sure what was looking back at her in a split moment of weakness, but whatever it was, it looked out of place on the lightning dragon's face. "Why?" He whispered coarsely. That was when she realised that he was exhibiting traits of desperation and longing.
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Neirah's throat worked and she sealed once absently parted lips. "Because that's all I've known…"
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"Because that's all you cared to know."
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She was happy she remained beneath his dark shadow because the heat of the setting sun illuminating the curtains at his back was becoming uncomfortable. "Laxus, I didn't mean-"
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"I don't know how I'm supposed to feel," he rumbled softly. "I didn't know when I told you I'd help you do this… I still don't know…" He gently rolled his brow from side to side against the wall with his frustration. "When you say my name, say it like that, it doesn't sound right. Not like you."
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"You're my friend, and I care about y-" She choked on her conclusion when he opened his eyes and looked back at her, the confidence he needed to conceal his sentiment fading with every passing moment.
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"Is that all I was this morning?"
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She was growing incredibly uncomfortable beneath him and the intensity of his presence. "Laxus, your wound…"
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Reasoning took a vacation when he dropped his hand to one of hers and clasped her by her wrist to raise her palm to his heart. "Is on this side."
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She shook her head repeatedly, not sure whether she wanted to cry or scream with her welling emotional frustration. "Why are you doing this?" She whimpered in broken and weary tones.
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"Because somewhere between here and the first sunset we faced together, I've stopped being able to tell myself that there's nothing between us. You piss me off sometimes, but then other times, I can't get you out of my head." He released her wrist and drew unsteady hands to either side of her face. "When you fell over those cliffs, my world just stopped turning. Nothing felt real anymore. Not like this." He felt the well of weakness hindering his words when he rolled one thumb over the dark lines tattooed under her eyes. "I know it's never gonna be perfect… but it's good enough for me," he admitted weakly.
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He watched her for a long moment, her hand still resting against his chest. He felt like an idiot rambling on like he was, not really knowing what he wanted to say or how to say it. The black material of his open shirt on his back was causing him to perspire uncomfortably as the sun beat upon it through the curtains of their accommodations. "Fuck, say something," he begged frustratedly. "I don't have the words for this kind of shit, but you can't honestly be that naïve that you don't get what I'm trying to say."
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Neirah gently shook her head before raising her hands to his wrists and sliding his fingers from her face. After a quivering inhale she slowly looked back at him. "One thing I never understood about you people, people who grew up on the outside, people who've lived life." Seeing the heart-wrenching twist in his expression, she offered him a small smile for assurance. "You always make things, so complicated…" She diverted her gaze when his shifted curiously before her. "Putting titles on people… like Master, or 'hubby'. You need to label everything you see and feel."
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"What's wrong with that?" He murmured grimly.
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She straightened against the wall at her back and tried to keep her hands from shaking as she contemplated what to do with them. "Because it keeps you from saying the things that really matter," she humbly encouraged. "Things you said you wanted to say first."
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It was no surprise to him that he didn't do a good job at hiding the colour finding his face with her subtle inspiration. It was one thing to know in your heart that you wanted to say something so sincere and detrimental to someone you'd come to cherish, but to be put so blatantly on the spot made the whole encounter seem hollow.
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He panted out a couple hard breaths beneath the light trails of blood meeting the waistline of his pants. He couldn't be bothered with his pain in that moment or the fact that his arms were only half responsive. Growing rather confident that they were finally on the same page, he felt like he was finally willing to advance on her in ways that he hadn't dared to before.
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His hands were already on her hips since she'd parted them from her face so it hadn't taken much effort for him to roll clammy palms back over the curve of her firm backside. His parted lips inhaled her startled gasp as he drew her off her toes and settled her firmly between his chest and the walls around them. It put far too much strain on aching shoulders to accommodate the difference in their heights.
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Like he anticipated, it didn't take long for her to fill in the blanks because he could feel the pressure of her thighs closing in around him to take the burden off his forearms. If his heart didn't stop racing, he surely would bleed out all he had before he had wrapped his head around how far they'd managed to come since taking up arms together against Zade, and Neirah's wretched past. Even on an instinctual level, they had always been a team. She had no way of knowing how incredibly euphoric her clenching was, or how it raised his body's temperature. She was strictly doing it to aid in her elevation. Sometimes, they didn't need words to understand each other. They just got in the way.
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He was a healthy mix of wanting to protect her and being proud that he could walk away knowing that she would make it back to his side when the battle was over. The uncertainty of his feelings thrashing about within him added with the scare of death's cold embrace earlier that day had brought him to a conclusion; whatever was happening between them, he wanted to cherish it, cherish her…
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He had kissed her before on partially conscious whims, but the woman before him wasn't the same one he'd tasted. She was radiating a kind of vulnerability before him that he'd never quite experienced, a willingness to surrender to what she knew he had more experience with. It was unlike her. That willingness didn't mean that her lips didn't tremble when he traced them with his fingers, his brow pressed to hers and laboured breaths commingling in their airways with their nearness.
.
His mouth was dry from the ruggedness of heavy breaths, but every time his tongue moved to dampen parched fibres, undisguisable shivers were rattling his spine and forcing him to trap pained hisses behind clenched teeth. "You're one to talk," he ended up uttering. Neirah's gaze was forced quizzical with his statement before she realised he was adding to a conversation that seemed to happen a lifetime ago. "If you don't need labels, then I shouldn't have to say anything."
.
His whisper was so close to her lips that she wanted to thrash out irrationally violent. She was feeling things that she wasn't used to feeling, things that had only stirred for weak moments on rare occasions that she was offered the more genuine side of the Empress' right-hand man.
.
Luckily for her and the fingers that crawled back behind his head to fondle the roots of his hair, she had been well-educated in the ways of such interactions by nosey ex-guildmates that she still held to heart as her dearest friends. The part of her that ached to return to the guild she left in pursuit of Marionette cultists had her desperate to cling to the heart of the guild itself as he stood beneath her arms; Ryverika's Prince of Fairy Tail and the reason that she had found the life she had. Tears welled in her eyes with the surreal embrace that saw her pressed tightly against him. Her smile was weak, but she was sure that he could feel it curl against his lips as she offered him a weak, but affectionate peck on the corner of his mouth. "Then don't," she mewled urgently. She was ready to experiment with the powerful sensations curling her toes, to feed off his experience.
.
He watched a whirlwind of recollections flash behind his eyes where he knew she once smiled back at him. From the first time that she'd taken him by surprise at sundown in the East Forest of Magnolia, to the sun currently at their backs, and everything in between. The picture reel snapped free of his comprehension the moment their lips met upon his final ragged inhale.
.
His chest may have burned corrosively with the pressure of him forcing it on her own, but he couldn't move away, couldn't be any gentler. He needed her too badly to concern himself over the pressure threatening to suffocate him or the gentle, shuddering breaths trembling beneath the crush of his lips. Each breath was deep as he drew it in, and if his aching lungs would have allowed it without causing a hoarse cough to break their warm embrace, he would have breathed deeper still.
.
He had never admitted it to anyone before, and maybe it had taken a while for him to admit it to himself, but ever since the day they met, her scent was in veins. She smelled like springtime, crisp early spring mornings, just before the thaw had seen all the snow from the ground. Even in the moment her blissful sigh saw her lips parted with an invitation for him to devour, the stench of bloodied and battle weathered garments on their bruised bodies, she still smelled like sakura.
.
He'd gladly admit that he was a junkie for the high he got off her presence. Even if he resented the call of a beast forced to be a part of him, he couldn't deny that the sensitivity it offered her presence was something he was desperate to indulge in. It vexed him. How could such a strongly defiant warrior ensnare him with the sweet and delicate presence of a tiny flower?
.
With the heat of their encounter boiling already feverish blood and the golden sun on their back, he couldn't stand to be beneath the weight of his shirt any longer. It was suffocating. With the stable strength of her commanding thighs draped over his hips, he released her body to sink anxious fingertips into either side of his open-faced top. His exhale threatened to blend with a hungry growl as she remained stable against him. All he wanted to do was sink his fingertips into those thick, luscious thighs as they flexed powerfully around him. He refused to interrupt their kiss as he rid himself of the weight, tense shoulders aching as he pressed them together and let the prison fall with his escape.
.
The breath of relief had him indulging in her poison all over again and his fingertips immediately flexed and raked over the muscles clamping around him to draw him instinctually tighter to her curvaceous body. He remembered the first spring after they met, and how it had tortured him. He'd look over his shoulder like an escaped felon every three steps, hoping that the fragrant presence raining down around him was hers.
.
But it never fucking was.
.
He reached out and laid his fingers on her face, trembling with restraint. He wanted to touch every inch of her in an instant, hold her with all the strength he possessed. He was afraid that as soon as he let go, like every time before, the memory of her skin against his would fade and they would return to the way they lingered; parched and thirsty for more than they allowed each other to drink. He wanted to explore her, squeeze her with the frantic intensity weakening his self-restraint, but every time her delicate whimpers met his tongue he was spiralling back down into reality with a deafening crash.
.
She may have been a powerful wizard and his current guild's brave and dedicated master, but in his arms, if just for a moment, he held the flower; the delicate and beautiful woman who had somehow weaved herself into his very being over the course of the agonizingly long years it took them to figure out that their paths were meant to meet.
.
Just like this.
.
For the weightlessness he'd felt with his battle-weary figure wrapped up in her arms, they may as well have been somewhere floating along a springtime breeze far from the clawing shadows of the war they found themselves fighting.
.
Shadows.
.
Fairy Tail's Shadow.
.
He'd always scorned the way her brother, no matter how affectionately, referred to her as such. Then, to make matters worse, Ryverika was no better. Shadows, darkness, none of it described the vibrant woman glowing with affection beneath him in that moment. He was growing more anxious to see his senses overwhelmed by her presence and due to his vacant state, he didn't even care that he was acting like a primal beast in seeking it. He weaved his fingertips through satiny auburn waves and drew her deep into his kiss.
.
There was nothing dark about her.
.
She was radiant; brave, confident, and powerful while remaining devoted, beautiful, and fragile.
.
She was everything…
.
To him.
.
It hurt when he pried himself away from her for a moment, telling himself that it was out of courtesy to the poor breathless girl to allow her to steal her breath back for the sake of her collapsing lungs. He waited for panting gasps to subside and quiet to steal the room once more, and moments after she'd caught her breath, she looked back at him and smiled.
.
Her devotion had always made his heart ache. He had never felt like her affection and admiration for him was justifiably deserved. Even if they fought, she was always passionate towards him, always concealing that she knew all along that he'd held her heart. Even when he'd clenched it, squeezed it dry of life, it still beat for their quiet moments like the one currently enrapturing him.
.
At first, he was afraid of it. He'd run away from the pressure of holding such a delicate world with blood-stained hands. A guilty conscience delayed his sense of inner peace for another agonisingly long year.
.
But as she looked back at him with a playful little gleam in her glassy sapphire gaze, bearing the insignia of the force she led against elite cultists that threatened to darken the skies of the world they lived in, he wasn't afraid anymore. Not when something so tender could be so brave in the arms of someone so damaged.
.
They were a team. She had saved him just as many times as he saved her and neither of them asked for it. They were simply there, whenever the other needed. Their paths never saw them parted.
.
"I love you." It didn't even sound like his words when he spoke them so suddenly, too enthralled with the moment and the look in her eyes to adjust the hoarse catch in his throat. He shook his head, such an enormous weight rising from his chest that he was afraid that was all that had remained tethering him to the ground. She tried to deny the curl of her lips by capturing the corner of her lower one between her teeth, but she had failed to conceal her smile. She reached out and laid a finger against his lips with her acceptance of his admittance, a blissful grin illuminating her silent features.
.
He rolled one hot palm up her outer thigh over her Infinity Dragon guild mark and laid his other hand against her jaw. He almost laughed with the triumph of finally sharing a moment with her that he'd played through his tired mind many a sleepless night. "Fuck, why does that sound so good to say?" He whispered through the gentlest amusement.
.
It was a feeling he wanted to hold onto for as long as he could, brows and noses connected while matching smiles flirted with delicate snorts of awkward enjoyment. Neirah closed her eyes and gave her head a gentle shake, dusting her nose against his from one side to the other. "Then say it again."
.
He couldn't comprehend how such a delicate whisper could be filled with so much authority, so much passion. It had a throaty groan rattling his chest. "Yes ma'am," he teased through the rather lusting growl. His hunger saw ravenous little kisses over the neck and collar of his squirmy guild master. He had no idea at the time that those words were going to become such a weighty part of his existence from that day on.
.
Neirah tipped her head back against the wall in an unrestrained fit of giddy laughter. "Tickling!" She informed as her crossed sets of toes curled at his tailbone with her arousal.
.
When he had finally made his way to her ear, he laid his palm against her outstretched throat and felt her pulse race beneath it as he repeated the sentiment as sincerely as he knew how. "I love you… Neirah."
.
Sometimes, he just needed to hear her take a breath to know that his wasn't wasted. But to feel it, racing beneath her breathless wheeze, was overwhelming. For a moment, the pulsing of her life beneath his fingers filled him with purpose. In that moment, she was safe in his arms.
.
She was alive. He… was alive.
.
They were together.
.
But reality was harsh and cruel in the way it kept dragging him back down when all he wanted to do was dance with his tiny sakura. He recoiled in agony burying his face in her shoulder with a bitter hiss as his thundering heart got the crippling best of him. "Fuck," he spat out in hostile resentment.
.
Neirah flinched with his low curse and slowly adjusted so that she could communicate more clearly with him. "Laxus? Are you ok?"
.
'Sure, now she asks.' He forced out an annoyed sigh as he backed away from her and peeled his bloody palm from where it had been clenching his own chest moments before. "Well," he stated gruffly. "I remember how crazy you are for sunsets so I figured I'd clip those couple layers and give you a clear view."
.
Neirah visibly recoiled and tried to struggle out of his grip. "Uch, you're so morbid."
.
He smiled humbly and reached out to hold her face with his opposing fingers. "Relax, would you?" He murmured softly, placing another gentle kiss on her lips. "It's just flesh. It'll heal."
.
Neirah gently shook her head, obviously worried about the well being of a man that she held close to her heart. "You shouldn't joke about these things," she begged softly as she allowed him to steady her on her own two feet again. "Does your life mean nothing to you?"
.
He slipped in and out of vacantly present states as he leant down and gently kissed the top of her head. "Not if you're not in it," he whispered into her teased auburn locks.
.
As worried as she was, she couldn't help but be the slightest bit charmed with the brute's fumbling approach to romance. She smiled back at him and helped him take a seat back on the bedside. "You love-struck goon," she teased. She laid the back of her hand beneath his bangs against perspiring skin. "Alright, Prince. I need you cooperate while I play doctor."
.
He vacantly shook his head, his eyes barely remaining open to watch her shift around the room. "Nope, that's not going to help the fever thing." She comprehended that maybe he was trying to articulate his amusement for her comparison, but it wasn't very well. "Nope," he repeated as if assuring himself.
.
Neirah smiled tenderly and propped some pillows up behind him as he rolled his shoulders and settled obediently supported against the headboard of the bed. "Well then, I'll start with the cleanup and we'll work on your fever later," she teased moments from leaving to get some water and a cloth to soak in it.
.
Before she could stand, he was capturing her wrist and dragging her onto his chest like it didn't hurt or wind him with the strain of his effort. She melted tenderly into his touch as he smoothed her hair back behind her ear with bloodied fingertips and drew her lips back to his. Every breath he drew in against their kiss seemed to offer him a little more time in the conscious world like she was a form of life support for him in his lethally wounded state.
.
Upon parting, he kept her near as soft words murmured their desperate plea against her lips. "Don't let me forget that we got this far…"
.
Her heart sank to think that he'd been so eager to bring them closer that he would fear to lose the moment in his exhausted and injured state. With a tender smile, she raised her fingers to the tribal ink on his chest and encouraged him to sit back on the bed. "I won't," she promised him breathlessly. She gave him a slow, parting peck before brushing fingers lightly back through his hair.
.
He couldn't open his eyes any longer, he was too far between worlds. Even so, he managed to find the hand that pet him and claim it with his own. Upon doing so, his trembling fingers raised hers to his lips for a lax kiss.
.
He was too separated from reality to realise that his actions forced her to give her head a strong shake. Laxus – Laxus Dreyar. That was the man sitting before her in a vulnerable mess. It wasn't right. It was hard to believe it was real.
.
He tucked her hand up against his shoulder and rested his face against it. Moments later, he was gone.
.
"Big brute," she crooned tenderly. She waited a long, bewildered moment to reclaim her hand and set it to purpose. "You just needed someone to care." Her stomach churned weakly with the sight of the wound completely absent Arihana's prior treatment. As grateful as she was, like the others, she couldn't figure out how he had survived what he had.
.
"You're something else," she mused externally. She drew the top of her fist to her mouth and took a deep breath to steady and set herself to the task. She hated the stench of blood that filled the room and reminded her of the war raging on in the shadows of her past. "I guess all that muscle was good for something after all… Durable beast…"
.
She took one last trembling inhale in before moving on with her treatment. "I won't let you forget," she quietly promised. "Just make sure you live to remember, ok…?" She leant down and gently kissed his brow. "Stay with me, Sparky," she commanded in an affectionate whisper. "Stay with me."
.
.
"Quit acting like a fucking hero! You're not!" Laxus roared feverishly. "You're a selfish brat that's too damn proud to ask the rest of us for help!"
.
"I didn't ask you to come in the first place!" Neirah demanded, no holds barred on her assault. "I didn't want anyone to share the nightmare that is my life and I sure as heck won't let anyone die for it!"
.
"Did you ever stop to think that maybe the people around you here are the ones that want to be a part of that life?!" Laxus stilled, wishing he hadn't been so boisterous in his approach. He watched the fury fade from her expression and colour rise in her cheekbones. He panted heavy breaths and looked from side to side in hopes of coming up with an improvised version of his rant and fast. "I mean, Gajeel's your brother. You really think he cares what happens to him? He's here to fucking help."
.
Sloppy. He knew she'd see right through it.
.
Her tone adjusted moderately in catching his fumble. "I value that there are people who would risk their own safety to try and bring an end to this war, but this is MY battle," Neirah assured him distantly.
.
"If your old lizard couldn't end it, what the fuck makes you think that you can?"
.
Those were words that he probably shouldn't have said, but as quickly as they flowed from venomous lips, he was helpless to retract them. He knew that Neirah missed Ryverika and that a part of her still blamed him for the dragon's demise. He didn't mean to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, but Tenrou Island was spared Acnologia's wrath without Ryverika's help. It wasn't his fault the dragon gave his life for him that day.
.
"Neirah I-" Laxus recoiled mid-step when a malicious strike of violet lightning scarred the earth inches from where his first step tried to land. It was obvious that she didn't want to be followed.
.
He scoffed lightly, the tension of his ground jaw forcing his mouth to ache with restraint as he watched her raise her hood and start to walk away without another word. "What do I tell your idiot brother?" He shouted after her dainty figure.
.
"Tell him that my idiot second is in command until I return."
.
Laxus flexed his fist at his side, contemplating storming after her, putting her over his shoulder and carting her back to their guild. Infinity Dragon's master was a loose cannon, one that only he was equipped to deal with. She was becoming more reckless than ever as her power grew. But he knew as well as anyone that even powerful hands could tremble when they were afraid.
.
.
.
.
"Nice try, but she can look after her damn self!" Laxus roared, cutting tense fingers through the stagnant air as he threw his arm out to one side. "She's not a fucking damsel, she's a dragon! If you wanna play the head game card you'd better try a hell of a lot harder than that!"
.
"Is that so?" Zade no more than breathed.
.
Laxus didn't think that the fibres of his very existence could separate so vividly in front of his very eyes, that was, not until the moment that Zade kicked Neirah's unconscious figure out in front of him upon summoning it from where she had obviously fallen.
.
"Then consider me a brother, dragon slayer."
.
Broken, bloodied and left for dead, flesh torn from bones and chest neglecting to rise with the breath she vaguely tried to consume. The only thing that assured him it was her was the stench of her blood that proceeded to stain the earth beneath her motionless silhouette. It was unmistakably hers.
.
Laxus shook his head, heart heavy with denial as he held his breath to reject reality. "No," he wheezed in panic. He couldn't help but continue to deny that infinity had fallen. "There's no way."
.
"I'm not one to accept such accusations as your own," Zade hissed. "If you have a better reason to call me a liar, by all means, let us have it." His cold cerulean gaze iced over venomously. "But that girl is dead whether you believe me or not. I don't use emotions and empty claims like pawns in a larger game. I am not Marionette's Puppet Master, I am the Ghoul Knight."
.
Laxus cut his furious gaze from Neirah's wounded body to the deranged man ready for assault before him. "If she isn't breathin' when I get there, you'll be just as dead as the bastard that tried this first," Laxus promised while seething his uncontainable wrath through ground fangs. "And I won't be quick about it either…"
.
"Karua's fate will never be my own."
.
"Fate has less to do with it than my fist!" Laxus thundered, the ground crumbling beneath his feet as his charge began. "I'm not going to lose that light again!"
.
To think, that such a delicate hack for air was capable of silencing the storms in the sky that day and stilling the ruthless fist that commanded them.
.
But it was there, the tiniest, shuddering breath, and he heard it over the thundering of his heart. He redirected his attention and watched her struggle to reach out to him. "Laxus… illusion…" She forced her words through grit teeth, trying to make out his shadow with an eye and a half worth of vision. Her chest heaved a thick mouthful of blood before it was passing her lips into the dusty ground beneath her. Upon making slow eye contact with him, she slowly shook her head. "An illusion," she whispered a little more clearly.
.
Laxus stilled and caught his breath before blinking the haze in his crackling vision clear with her reveal. Neirah was in front of him, but so was an illusion displaying her condition as far more severe than it was. 'Bastard,' Laxus thought furiously. 'He summoned Neirah for her scent and then made her appear dea- Doesn't play head games my ass…' She was still incapacitated, but she was most certainly alive.
.
Against his better judgement, he stepped to her side, lowering a guard against an enemy who didn't like to offer strategy a chance. "Get up," he ordered whilst keeping a weathered eye on the devastated battlefield. "I don't know if I can do this without you."
.
"You can't," she breathed with a heart-wrenching look of defiance in her eyes.
.
Laxus turned to check on Zade one more time to make sure he was still. All the man did in response was drew his sword and adjusted his unsympathetic gaze. Surprised, Laxus switched attention to the frail woman at his feet who reached out and wrapped cool fingers around his ankle.
.
With a delicately small smile for reassurance, Neirah gave the last of her conscious strength to him in a brilliant burst of light.
.
"You won't be without me…"
.
Zade's brow furrowed over a narrow gaze as he watched the two disappear behind the light of infinity. "She wouldn't." Slightly alarmed, the man watched the dust settle around the two, waiting for Laxus to drop alongside her. "No mortal would be capable of absorbing the divine's strength." He assured himself confidently, watching a vacant Laxus linger on the sight of a motionless Neirah. "She'll kill him herself."
.
For a dangerously long moment, the battlefield was silent with Neirah's fleeting consciousness. Laxus remained unresponsive as the silence dragged on, breath withheld, sight unseeing. The only sign of life retained was the subtle twinge of previously seized fingertips at his thigh.
.
Zade had grown impatient with watching the fingers of his only upright opponent twitch like he was trying desperately to remain conscious. He was the first to admit that it was a marvel that Laxus had managed to remain on his own two feet since the transfer of Neirah's power, but he was certain it wouldn't be for long.
.
Laxus didn't even raise a finger as Zade strode up to him and thrust the cold steel of his blade through the man's chest with precise ease. There was a satisfied look of relaxation on the knight's face when he intercepted the empty gaze that had yet to rise from Neirah's motionless figure. "How anticlimactic," Zade crooned. He gave his sword a little twist to reinforce his certain victory. "Just the way I like it."
.
In the moment Zade moved to retrieve his blade with his retreating step, he was interrupted by a denying force. With a furrowed brow, he gave his sword another tug. After a moment, he decided maybe he should see what was stopping it from releasing from the flesh of his victim.
.
The colour flushed out of the lean man's face as he turned to see that Laxus had curled his hand around the blade inside his chest. "Impossible…" Zade rattled out uncertainly. His gaze shot only momentarily to the sight of Laxus' bloody hand clenching the blade without showing signs of any recoil to the injury. He quickly released his sword to scurry away from the beast's illuminated glower as it slowly rose to where he stood. "He should be-" He watched in horror as Laxus tore the blade from his chest, and in a negligent manner that likely increased the damage originally done by Zade's clean cut. The man remained unfazed.
.
Neirah wasn't the only one who marvelled at Laxus' speed when he was motivated to be swift. Zade would never forget the feeling of the defensive giant's grip around his throat as he watched his life flash before his eyes.
.
Zade's gaze trembled as he watched the battlefield light up with the wrath of gods before him. "It shouldn't be… he can't-"
.
"No…" Neirah murmured weakly. She continued to fade out of consciousness on the faith that their teamwork would prevail even if she wasn't well enough to fight by his side. She would be there when the sun had come up, but she hoped, when she finally closed her eyes, that Zade wouldn't be. "But we can…"
.
.
Flowers.
.
Everywhere.
.
He hated that a man of his reputation was so easily moved by their scent, but at the same time, maybe other men of his stature simply weren't equipped to appreciate the intricacies of the fragrance.
.
.
The look on his face spelt out more than she was sure he wanted to admit to her with his simple words. "I didn't ask to be this way…"
.
Neirah lowered her gaze, intimidated by the vulnerability in his sudden shift of demeanour. "None of us did," she whispered tenderly. She raised her right hand over the ebony Fairy Tail crest on her left breast and gently rubbed the back of her hand with the opposing. "But I guess when it's all you have left, you learn to embrace it."
.
Laxus turned away with a disgruntled snort. "Not a chance in hell," he whispered bleakly. "If Natsu wants to crawl through the dirt like a fucking dog, that's his own damn problem. I'm not…" He cut his gaze from hers with a heavy heart. "I'm not an animal…"
.
There was a look of hurt on Neirah's gentle features like his comment had somehow managed to offend her indirectly. She didn't look away from him no matter how badly he tried to keep their eyes from meeting. "Not all of us are so primal…"
.
.
But he was.
.
Every time he found himself lost or on death's door, her voice was in the beat of his heart like a siren, guiding him tenderly back into the cruel land of the living to spend another round of torture upon the lands they lived.
.
And the flowers.
.
The fucking… flowers…
.
He'd suffer a fate a thousand times worse than the one called life just to be near her, but he couldn't begin to fathom why. They fought like the dragons claimed to be in their blood. She had resented him, hated him, but he still couldn't get enough.
.
He could deny what he was all he wanted to, but the truth was that the force driving him to his knees in her presence was entirely instinctual. He needed her; to feel her, taste her, hold her. Death would have been easier than the miracle they tried to work, but he wasn't ready to die. Not when spring was in full bloom on the bed beside him.
.
She was there. He could feel it. Her warm comforting presence was calling to him in gentle song. And like a dog, he followed it; followed her light and warmth right back to the start.
.
Neirah sighed with relief as he opened his eyes, no matter how narrowly, beneath his knotted brow. She raised the cool cloth from his face with a tender smile. "Well look who just kicked their fever's butt," she crooned. She set her cloth down against the side table between the inn's beds. "Welcome back to the land of the living, Prince."
.
He strained to look at her curiously before slowly rising to her aid with a pained wince. Once she'd helped steady him, he moved his palm over the strain in his neck to chase out the kinks. "Neirah?"
.
"Disappointed?" She teased, glad that she had dimmed the lighting in the room since he'd been unconscious.
.
He wanted to quip back and make a war out of their playful banter, but he couldn't seem to wrap his head around wit at the moment.
.
"How are you feeling?" Neirah interrupted in kind concern. "You weren't out for very long, but you were making an awful fuss in your sleep."
.
He gently shook his head, wondering if his brain had managed to detach from the walls of his skull with the ache of the effort. "Fucked up dreams," he grunted.
.
Neirah curled her lips into a sad smile. "I was afraid of that," she mewled tenderly. "I'm sorry, I should've woken you."
.
He shook his head again, feeling a lot less disturbed for the effort. "It's fine." He flinched when Neirah outwardly laughed at him and he wasn't quite sure what he'd done that was so humorous.
.
"It's good to have you back, Sparky," she teased. She patted his thigh before climbing from his bedside. "Hungry? I ate while you were asleep, I hope you don't mind."
.
He gently shook his head to deny her offer. "Back?" He suggested. "You mean conscious?" He looked down at his clean bandages before touching them and observing that his fingertips came away unsoiled. She responded to his sentiment with a gentle giggle.
.
"Back to acting like yourself," she admitted. "I was cleaning your wounds and Arihana had you on some seriously strong sedatives. I should have warned her that she was working with humans in the job description, not farm animals."
.
He cut his weighted gaze her way with his lack of amusement. "Hilarious."
.
"Much better," she whispered as she sat on a chair at the side of his bed. "You're meant to be a man of few words."
.
"You really know how to kick a guy when he's down, don't you?" He chided, taking a look around the room darkening with dusk's last breath. "And we are?"
.
Neirah's expression dimmed sadly and it became harder for her to retain her smile. "We came to town for some supplies just before your wound reopened. I was afraid you might not remember…" She didn't want to admit her disappointment, but she couldn't help but feel like it was for the best. Every time she and Laxus had shared a tender moment, something always overshadowed it and it was lost to the sands of time. Just like the sundown they met in the East Forest, the night they overlooked the balcony towards Crocus' devastated remains or the night in the mountains where he told her for the first time that he refused to treat his light like a shadow.
.
As disappointed as she was, she wasn't surprised. In dressing his wounds, she learned more about the miracle that was his will to live. Not only was the wound substantial in size, but it was growing. It refused to accept treatment, even from the infinite healing capabilities Neirah possessed.
.
Arihana had numbed his senses to the pain, but she neglected to mention the severity of the situation. It was near to the surface, slowly crawling its way into his chest through the wound like it had been set there by the hilt of Zade's blade.
.
He had been poisoned.
.
The frustrating reality of his wounds was that even the clarifying traits of her own sky magic couldn't purify his body. She had seen some amazing things done with her own skills through Kairyn's hands while he was alive, but it frustrated her to think that she wasn't strong enough to help Laxus in the same way. A sickening worry kept her from telling him the unfortunate truth because, deep down, she sensed that something beyond their control was ailing him. In a few hours, he would need his wounds redressed again, of that she was certain. She only hoped that he didn't conclude to himself that his wound was growing rather than trying to heal because if his body continued to deteriorate at the rate it was, he wouldn't be physically capable of lasting much longer.
.
Their war with Reku and the rest of Ghoul Knight would have to wait. All that mattered to her was finding a way to extract the poison from his body and potentially save his life.
.
"What did you dream about?"
.
Laxus recoiled as her gentle inquiry interrupted his stampeding thoughts. "I- what?" He rattled out disorderly. "That's kind of a weird question to ask someone."
.
"I'm just curious," she admitted softly. "You stir a lot in your sleep."
.
"Creepy," he rumbled shortly.
.
"I was tending your wounds, remember?" She teased. "Don't make this weird."
.
He was about to proceed with a defiant rebuttal, but a part of him found comfort in divulging; if only a little bit. "I… Well they're mainly memories, I guess." He threw his legs over the side of the bed and tried to remember what it felt like to operate them. "Looks like my demons want to be my friends as soon as I close my eyes. Tsk, nothing new…"
.
"The past is nothing but shadows that can't be changed," she assured him kindly in a small voice. "You shouldn't treat them like weights to bear." She didn't know whether he was absorbing her advice or ignoring her, but either way, she let it be. "I've never met anyone who stays so tense while they sleep," she informed him casually. "I tried to lift your arm and-" She recalled the way he had immediately trapped her beneath it for the better part of an awkward twenty minutes. "It's like even when you sleep you're on high alert."
.
She hated how he looked up at her like the guilt he carried somehow involved her. She hated that there might be a chance that he could ever feel like he'd done her wrong. She looked back at him hopefully, catching her tired sigh behind her encouraging smile. "Do you not have anything you can think about to bring you peace?" He remained unresponsive. "What about Freed and the others back at Fairy Tail?" Silence. She sighed sadly with her folly. It was actually quite obvious that the thought of his friends wouldn't bring him peace, not when he carried so much guilt for leaving them behind. Even if it was to save them the struggles that Infinity Dragon currently faced, it didn't make the betrayal any easier. "I'm sorry," she confessed sadly. He was built to defend. For as long as he was the strongest, he would always carry the weight of his loved one's safety on his shoulders. "I know it's none of my business."
.
He didn't let on, but the silence he appeared to brood in was his active recollection of the events to transpire between them before he'd lost consciousness. The act made his entire disposition drown in sorrow when he realised that she hadn't done as he instructed.
.
She'd let him forget.
.
Again.
.
He didn't know what he had expected, for her to throw her arms around him and smother him with affection upon his awakening? He didn't understand how he could have still been willing to admit that she brought him peace when she was also the one who broke his heart every chance he'd exposed it to her touch. This fire that was their relationship; beautiful and spontaneous in combustion, but everytime he reached in to hold her, he got burned.
.
He loved it.
.
Just lingering silently in her presence. He really was a dog, sitting by her window wagging his tail every time she walked by on the other side of the glass. He may have relied on scraps to feed himself, but the hope of just imagining what his life could be like as hers was enough to make a stray beg for it.
.
The worst part was that he wanted to beg her to love him, ask her why she couldn't, but then the demons inside him would mock him with laughter. He knew why she couldn't love him. But that didn't mean he wanted to accept it.
.
He wanted to cling to the moments of tenderness that only she had taken the time to show him. The time, the words she'd saved just for him; to inspire, to console. She didn't mind breaking the awkward silences or the barriers he tried to put up around his heart.
.
And he appreciated that.
.
He was intoxicated by her habit, and the only way to free himself of the addiction was to turn away from it… something he wasn't sure he was ready to do or capable of doing. "I think…"
.
The room grew gravely still and silent as his next breath was interrupted by the gentle presence of her lips against his. He stared lethargically, even sadly, back at her from behind the contact, and even as he watched her trembling chest pump out her unsteady breaths, he couldn't hear a sound.
.
It was the first time she had ever initiated a kiss between them, aside from the innocent peck his cheek had received when they had met in the forest in X791. She was still inexperienced, still innocent. All the poison he wanted to keep pumping through his veins.
.
She couldn't take it anymore, the heartache displayed in his tired features. She had grown to know the weight of his heart and could see the suffering in his eyes.
.
The loneliness. It reminded her of the boy she met in the market over a decade before.
.
She promised herself that she would be the reason he was never lonely again, but that didn't stop her heartbeat from deafening her with its rhythmic rap against her aching chest. She worried it was too soon, that the remedy Arihana had prescribed him that morning might have loosened his tongue.
.
But she couldn't wait any longer.
.
'I'm sorry,' she mused weakly. Her trembling fingers were still unsure of their actions, but she managed to raise them to his face to trace the lean strand of scarring beneath his right eye. She knew if she had actually apologised, he'd just scold her for always being so apologetic to the 'likes of him'. 'But I can't bear to lose your smile…'