Chapter 2: Penetrators
"So you and Chris, huh?"
The question comes as an eerie déjà vu, but instead of the guilt she felt when she heard it the first time, Eva has to physically supress the sheepish grin threatening to emerge. She remembers the same voice telling her not to long ago to break up with her boyfriend and hook up with Chris. She'd been taken aback and offended at the time, angry even. Like who did this person think she was, telling her to do something like that? But Sana had been straightforward and factual in her argument and despite feeling slightly insulted by the suggestion, Eva really could find no fault in Sana's reasoning.
"I don't know," she says truthfully, as she'd been with Jonas not ten minutes ago. "It's…complicated. He's complicated."
"Yeah but still," Vilde adds, looking at her in wide-eyed awe. "Landing the Penetrator Chris. The most infamous Penetrator after William. That's pretty awesome, Eva."
There's a cough that sounds suspiciously like Wilhelm from somewhere across the table.
"I mean, I wouldn't say I landed him, you know. Something would need to have actually taken off to land anywhere. I don't know if we're even in the vicinity of the plane, much less in it."
"So many plane puns," Chris muses to herself just as Sana says, "But he said yes to coming to the Kose party with you. That has to mean something. When have you ever heard of a Penetrator willingly coming to a party that didn't have sex, drugs or a bunch of girls lining up to hook up right off the top, especially when there was one such party happening at the exact same time?"
"The definition of coming to something is actually being here, you know. I don't know if you're seeing something I'm not cause unless I'm blind and stupid, he's not actually here. And he's not answering my text and all of a sudden I'm feeling pretty fucking dumb."
"That's Vilde's area of expertise tho, don't go stealing her job in the group she'll have nothing left to do." Sana says as-a-matter-of-factly, with the straightest poker face ever seen in all of Oslo. A beat passes as Vilde abruptly turns to glare at her before Chris guffaws out loud. Noora and Eva try hard to suppress their own laughter as Sana turns her frown into a dimpled smile directed at Vilde. "I'm just kidding, girl. You know I love you the most out of everyone here."
Vilde fights a losing battle to keep the cross look on her face and eventually returns Sana's smile with an adorable kitty-cat grin of her own.
Eva thinks that she really did luck out with this group of people in front of her. She can barely remember a time in her life when these four people didn't play such an important role in it; trailing after Jonas and Isak and Elias holding out for every scrap of attention. Not realizing at the time how much she wished to have what Jonas had with Isak and Elias and Magnus and Mahdi, how much she craved what they had: a comrade and companion, someone to watch her back, to tease her playfully and set her mind at ease over her own feelings of self-doubt and worthlessness. She had that with Ingrid once upon a time ago, and she threw it all away. She has only herself to blame for her loss.
But then Noora popped up out of the ground like some saviour fairy godmother right when Eva needed it the most. She was smart and kind and the most gorgeous person Eva had ever seen in her life. And then Vilde showed up with the wrong Chris, or was it Eva who showed up with the wrong Chris? Now Eva thinks that maybe both Chris' had actually been the right one. And they invited her into their little group. They wanted her, at the time Eva didn't realize how much she needed them more than they actually needed her. And then Sana pummelled through their reality with her straight forwardness and cynicism and wit but backed everything with irrefutable cold hard fact.
These four people somehow stumbled into Eva's constricting, self-inflicted bubble and made themselves far too comfortable and absolutely indispensable.
And she couldn't be more grateful.
"I just think you're not putting out enough, Eva."
Eva comes crashing back into reality at those words. "What?"
There a snort that sounds like a scoff that sounds like someone's failed attempt to quell a laugh.
"I'm just saying, look at Noora."
This time it was Noora who let out a mock offended, "What?"
"I mean, me and Kasper do it all the time. Like all the time. Chris has gone from like 3 or 4 sluts a night to just you, don't you think that's a bit of a step down? And William, you think he isn't in London banging a bunch of hot, upper-class English sluts? Way too naïve, guys."
Chris abruptly gets pelted by a bunch of homemade dildo decorations, including Eskild's rather suspicious contribution.
"Jesus Christ, Chris," Noora says, but all of them are laughing at the blunt assessment of their sex lives.
"She's not wrong though," Sana says after a while, but she has a smirk on her face and everyone just can't keep their laughter at bay after that.
"You're seriously the worst, Chris," Eva says, but her words hold no real malice and she knows Chris' doesn't either.
The laughter is light and merry with the Christmas music still playing softly in the background—Eskild has thankfully stopped singing along and instead is trying to lure as many people under the newly set up mistletoe at the entrance of the living room. Isak's new boyfriend, Even, is standing around after seemingly being the one to help him put it up.
A buzzing, vibrating sound sends everyone reaching across the table for their phones, Eva in the forefront. Dejectedly she discovers the lack of missed calls or text messages and she doesn't know whether she's more hurt or angry. She wasn't expecting Chris to say yes when she asked in the first place, but he had and truthfully she's more upset at herself for getting her hopes up then she was at his changing his mind about coming.
It's Noora's phone, and judging by the eye roll and the groan she lets out when she sees the caller id, it must be William on the other end.
"Trouble in paradise?" Eva asks when Noora slides her thumb across the screen to reject the call.
"No, just William most likely calling to apologize again for not being able to come."
"That's a bad thing?" Vilde asks as she reaches over for the purple paint across the table.
"No. Just, he's apologized a dozen times and I've said it's fine a dozen times and—uh…you know—" she lets out a small noncommittal shrug.
"You're not really fine about it?" Sana finishes her sentence without even having to glance over, once again giving more reason to support everyone's claim that Sana can in fact read minds.
Noora sighs unhappily. "No. He's an asshole."
"Maybe if you were less stingy with your asshole—" Chris starts but doesn't finish. She gets pelted by a myriad of paper mâché sex objects once again.
Noora rejects Williams's call another two times but reluctantly picks up the third time he calls. Eva had to give it to him for perseverance.
"Yes, Wilhelm?" she answers with an irritated sigh. Everyone watches her almost intently as her disgruntled tone and eye roll turns into one of confusion, her brows furrow when she says, "Yes, she's here," before handing the phone over to Eva. "He wants to talk to you."
Eva stares at the phone and at Noora and back at the phone a couple of times over before she finally seems to decipher what Noora had said. "What? Why?"
"I don't know. He just said he wanted to talk with you."
"Ooooh, scandal!" Chris says conspiratorially and a little too gleefully.
Eva shares a look with the rest of the girls before reaching over slowly and grabbing the phone out of Noora's hand. Williams's voice comes through the receiver straight forwards and to the point. Eva doesn't think she's ever had an actual conversation with William, so this whole situation was truly bizarre.
She hears his question but it takes her brain a couple of seconds to process. He's talking about Chris, which is nothing out of the ordinary, since objectively Chris is pretty much the only thing they have in common besides Noora.
"No, he's not here," she hears herself say, feeling the confused gaze of the other girls on her. "He probably decided not to come. Or he had another party last minute."
William speaks again and Eva feels her own throat becoming progressively dryer with every word he's speaking.
She maintains eye contact with Noora for over a minute as she tries to keep her concentration on every word William is saying, trying to convey her confusion as the other girls start asking what William is saying without causing too much of an interruption.
"Oh," Eva can't find anything else to say after William finishes speaking, she feels like she has cotton in her ears muffling all sound around her. She doesn't hear the other girls' confused and concerned questions of 'what?' being directed at her. Her heart is pounding in her chest and her throat feels like she's been walking through the desert without water for days. She can't speak. She doesn't really know what's going on but talking with William has brought a foreboding sense of fear she hadn't even considered before. "Okay—" she says into the receiver, aware of the stares of everyone around her trying to listen in. "Okay…umm, thanks. I'll try to call him too."
Eva's thumb has barely reached to disconnect the call when she gets pelted by far too many questions at once. It's Vilde's mild, reassuring voice from next her that she zeroes in on when Vilde asks, "What's wrong?"
Eva opens her mouth to speak, to explain everything William just said, to try and make sense of what he just said, but the area between her mouth and brain seem to not be in a cooperating mood. "I—William…uhh, I don't know. He asked if Chris was here. I said he wasn't and he'd probably gone to another party or something. But William said that he just talked to Chris this afternoon and Chris was definitely coming to this party. And uh—Chris called his phone like 30 minutes ago but there was no one on the other end so he hung up and called back like ten times but no one picked up." The words feel funny coming out of Eva's mouth because she can't concentrate on them at all. It feels like her voice coming out of a body that didn't even belong to her.
Thoughts and speculations get thrown out into the air around her but Eva fumbles for her phone, scrolling through looking for Chris number saved into her contacts. She clicks the call button and listens in as his caller ringtone starts playing. And playing and playing and playing until there's a beep and the mechanical voice of the answering machine comes flowing through. Eva repeats the action a few more times but with the same result.
Sana is saying something to Vilde and Chris while Noora pulls up William's number to call him back but judging by her frustrated and disappointed sign, she gets the busy tone in reply. Eva can't feel the brush in her hand anymore as she tries Chris' number again.
Still no answer.
Dropping the brush onto the table she almost jumps to her feet and seeks out Isak in the crowd, finding him laughing with Even, Jonas and the gang in the kitchen.
Isak barely gets off a hello when Eva marches into the kitchen and cuts him off mid word. "Have any of you talked to Chris today?" she asks.
"Chris?" Magnus asks. "She's sitting right there."
"No, not that Chris—" her answer comes out a bit too vehemently and she notices Magnus taking a startled step back. "Penetrator Chris. You have his number right? Can you try calling him please?"
"What's wrong, Eva?" Jonas asks. Whatever humorous air he had when she stumbled into the kitchen and scared the crap out of Magnus was immediately gone as he takes a step towards her with concern.
"I don't know. William called looking for him. No one can get in touch with him and he isn't answering his texts or his phone. I don't know what's going on."
She appreciates Isak immediately pulling out his phone and dialling the number, only to be left disappointed when Isak shakes his head in negative. She tries her own phone again but again the frustratingly annoying answering machine voice does nothing to ease her worry. She can see the question hovering over Jonas and she knows exactly what he wanted to say, but she appreciates that he eventually decides not to say anything, only pulling out his own phone to call someone. He calls a name she doesn't recognize but assumes it's one of Chris' Penetrator friends.
Eventually Sana and the rest join her and the boys in the kitchen, she hears Noora in the hallway talking to someone on the phone and assumes it's William.
"Hey," she feels a hand on her arm pulling her gently to the side and Jonas' comforting voice, "I'm sure everything's fine. He probably just got caught up somewhere and misplaced his phone. You'll both laugh hard about this later. I mean, after you thoroughly kick his ass."
Eva lets out an involuntary chuckle. Only Jonas can simultaneously calm her nerves and make her laugh. That has always been his speciality. All of a sudden, the overwhelming feeling of loss hit her like a ton of bricks and she leans into his chest, feeling his arms circle around her like a protective shield. In the background she hears Sana, Vilde, Chris and the guys tossing around speculations of their own. She barely noticed when Eskild and Linn joined them, obviously turning around from decorating the Christmas tree to find the living room abandoned.
Noora joins them soon after and the grim look on her face signalled that whatever new information she brought wasn't what Eva wanted to hear.
"William still can't get in touch with him and the other Penetrator guys don't know where he is. They were all at a dancer party and they said that Chris told them that he was coming to Eva's party. William has them out looking for him right now."
It wasn't at all what Eva wanted to hear but at least there were people were out there doing something.
"Is there something we can do?" Eva hears the deep, unfamiliar voice asking and looks up at Isak's boyfriend, Even, the newest member of their rag-tag group of friends.
"Yeah, you want us to uh, look around as well?" It's Magnus and Eva spares him a small smile. Even though she currently has her own worry, she's not oblivious to the way Vilde's eyes light up when looking at Magnus, especially in light of his noble offer.
"No, I—I don't want to spoil the party."
"You're not." It's Jonas and Eva looks up to meet his eyes. "You're worried because you care about him. And we're worried because we care about you. It's not rocket science."
"Yeah, Eva. A house is a heart with a—a heart is a house—uhh, something about a heart in a house."
Eva doesn't need to look to feel the intensity of Linn's eye roll when she cuts off Eskild and says. "Where there's heart there is a home. Idiot."
"Point is, this house has a heart and a guru, and this guru says that you being happy is more important than some stupid party. Even though this is undoubtedly the best party of the century."
Eva looks around at all the faces of the people around and she wonders how she actually got by when it was just her trailing after Jonas and Isak like a puppy. No Sana, no Noora, no Chris or Vilde in her life, no Eskild to comfort her and Linn to keep him grounded. She wasn't that close with Magnus and Mahdi and she just really met Even a few hours ago and despite his own problems, all of them were already willing to drop everything just for her. She loved her mother but even her mom had never done anything like that. She tries not to get all flustered.
"I—I don't know. Where do we look? Where do we even start?"
"At his house maybe, since he was probably on his way here. He could have gotten side tracked somewhere along the way. Maybe just a couple of us go, and the rest can stay here in case he shows up. Since the Penetrator Riot guys or whatever are probably already out there as well." Eva never fully appreciated Sana's logical and calculated approach to things until this moment.
"I'm going," Eva says quickly. She can't even imaging staying behind and stewing in her paranoia of not knowing where Chris was, if something happened to him, imaging all sorts of worst-case scenarios that may not even be likely.
"I'll go with Eva," Jonas says and deep down Eva is more than glad to hear it.
"I'm going too," Noora says. "It's good to be around in case William calls with news."
"I'll go too," surprisingly it's Isak who volunteers fourth, Eva is somewhat surprised by that although she feels like her surprise shows just how distant they've become with each other lately.
"I'm going with Isak," Even says and Eva's sentiment is mirrored by Isak when he asks 'Are you sure?'
"I'll stay and protect the girls," Magnus says, to which Mahdi adds, "I'll stay and protect the girls from Magnus."
"I'd come along, but I think having too many people around would be redundant and a hassle," Sana says. "Unless you want us to come too," she adds, but Eva shakes her head although she's appreciative.
Eva tries Chris' number one last time as everyone gathers their coats. She still reaches the same monotone answering machine and she doesn't know whether to be scared, upset or furious. "Chris, where are you?" she yells into his answering machine after the beep.
The only thing that answers her is silence and series of unanswered questions.
tbc.