- WARNINGS FOR THIS CHAPTER: Just swearing, methinks. In fact, I don't think anything REALLY sexual happens until chapter 4... And that chapter comes with a twist which I'm sure you'll all love. Oh, Kai and Tala have a bit of "fun" in the pool, but you can't really tell what they're doing. Just insert your dirty thoughts when you read it.

- A/N: I dedicate this chapter to MarianQ, as she said she was going to hunt for it after she finished work. It has been uploaded later than intended, though.

Chronicles Of Max

Chapter 2: Why, Yes. I Am Wearing Speedos

Wednesday 26th March '08

10.00 in the am

I don't know why, but Kai and Tala have organised a big group trip to the swimming pool in town. What's worrying is that:

A) It was Kai and Tala who organised it;

B) They invited EVERYONE;

C) We're having to skive off from school, and just hope that none of the teachers notice.

So, here we are… At the swimming pool, with people swimming around (obviously)… And I don't know what to do. Swim, maybe? Currently, I'm sat at the side of the pool, and Tyson is floating nearby. Mariam's still in the changing rooms somewhere, as are Kai and Tala.

It amazes me that Tyson can float. Seeing as he's pregnant, full of water already, and was fat even before he got pregnant. He seems to be enjoying it though.

"Look, Max! Can you see little feet kicking my belly?! Baby likes it!"

"Or, baby might just be saying, "please, Daddy number 1, baby no want to be in more water! Baby is fed up with water!" and is therefore kicking you to tell you to get out."

"Awww, nice baby."

"Tyson, it's not a dog."

"I know that. I mean, I've never fucked a dog, so why would I be pregnant with a puppy?"

Then we got distracted by the arrival of Tala and Kai. Or, to be more precise, what they were wearing.

"Er, Tala… Are those-" I began.

"Why, Yes. I am wearing Speedos," he replied.

Me and Tyson looked at Kai.

"Please tell me those aren't the bottom half of bikini," I said to Kai.

"Alright, they aren't the bottom half of a bikini," Kai replied, shrugging.

"He lies. They are, but he didn't want to wear the bikini top, because he said his moobs weren't big enough," Tala said.

"Tyson could wear it, though, if he wants," Kai said, whipping the bikini top out of nowhere, and throwing it to Tyson, who just lay there floating and staring.

"I'll pass," Tyson replied, throwing the bikini top back at Kai.

May I point out, that Kai's bikini bottoms are all stringy, and have "Babe" written on the backside. He worries me. Tala worries me, too, because he probably bought them for Kai. They both worry me.

"I was going to wear my very attractive, pink all-in-one swimsuit," Kai explained as he sat down next to me, "but I decided not to, because the last time I did, I managed to get both legs stuck in one hole."

Please, brain, don't let that image get into my head!

… Damn… Too late.

I was saved from the madness of Kai, by the arrival of Mariam. She was wearing a very pretty, floaty and baby blue bikini. I must say, she looks hot. And bikinis suit her better than Kai.

"Sorry for taking ages," she said, sitting down on the other side of me. "I managed to get both legs stuck in one hole somehow."

"AHA!" Kai exclaimed. "I just KNOW you were sitting there, Max, with images of getting both of my legs stuck in one hole of my swimsuit, thinking 'God, he's weird for getting both of his legs stuck in one hole of his swimsuit!' But look now, even your own GIRLFRIEND does it! How weird does that make me now?!"

I chose not to answer that.

"Kai…" Mariam began, looking him up and down, as he had stood up when shouting, and was still pointing at me, "are you wearing bikini bottoms?"

"… Yes."

"Why?"

"… Because I like them."

Mariam shook her head, and decided to say no more of the matter. Instead all three of us chose to watch Tala cannonball himself at Tyson. He missed, but plopped in just next to Tyson, causing Tyson to float away with the ripples, laughing manically.

"We don't have the normalest of friends, do we?" I asked Mariam, as Kai slid himself into the water going, "Oooh, it's warm."

"No… But then if we had normal friends, it would take all the fun out of life," Mariam answered.

I nodded, and we returned to watching Kai swim around in circles. Clearly he didn't see the big red blob swimming towards him underwater, but we could, and before Kai knew it, he was being dragged down by a Tala shark.

What we saw next… Made us wish we didn't see it. As Tala was doing something very sexual to Kai underwater. It was a good job the water was so ripply, otherwise we would've been able to see everything.

Tyson came floating back, paddling himself with his hands.

"It amazes me, y'know… That I'm full of water, but I still manage to float as good as a boat."

"Not all boats float good," Mariam pointed out.

"Yeah, like the Titanic. That sank," I said.

"But that was because She hit an iceberg. She was floating fine before that," Tyson said. "Anyway, the likelihood of me hitting an iceberg is zero, so I shall float to my hearts' content. Weeeeeee."

We just stared at him as he prepared to float a lap of the pool. Kai and Tala re-emerged, both very breathless. Whether it was from holding their breath for so long, or because of what they were doing, I don't know. It was have been both. I also noticed that there was suspicious white stuff floating next to them.

"Can you to please not do that sort of thing in a public pool?" I ask them.

"No," Tala replied, and got out, sitting next to me. He pulled up Kai to sit on his lap, and we all watched as Tyson came floating towards us.

"Are you actually going to do any swimming?" Mariam asked him.

"Why would I do that when I can just float?" Tyson replied.

We all just stared at him, when Kai started pointing at the diving board. We all looked up to see Hilary stood there with a megaphone.

"Like she needs one of them," Tyson said, referring to the megaphone.

Hilary put the megaphone to her mouth, aware that she had gotten everyone's attention.

"Everyone in this pool has sucked my tits," Hilary said.

"No they haven't," Tyson shouted back.

"What tits?" Kai said.

"She's more flat-chested than Jordan!" Tala said.

"That's really not a good comparison, since Jordan has big basoomas," Mariam pointed out.

"Alright, she's more flat-chested than me, then," Tala corrected himself.

"That's better," Mariam said.

We all watched as Hilary jumped off the board, and managed to land belly-first into the water.

"Ouch!" Tala said, and winced at the noise it made.

"Have you ever done that?" I asked. "It fucking hurts. I recommend not doing it…"

Hilary got out of the pool, holding onto her stomach-area, and looking in pain. It was her own damn fault for not diving right.

Biology

2.15 in the pm

Unfortunately, the teachers DID notice that we'd all disappeared, and we were forced to go back up to the school. That was alright, since we'd been in the pool so long, that we all looked like prunes.

So here we are in Biology. The only problem is that we don't have Mariam with us. She's in a different class. We do have Tala and Kai, though, and Biology with them is always interesting. We're dissecting things again, today.

We also don't have Tyson. Once he heard that we had to dissect a frog to find it's liver, he almost exploded his vomit everywhere. It was not a pretty sight. So I'm left with Kai and Tala AGAIN, and we're extremely behind everyone else, because every time Tala goes to cut the frog, Kai squeals and tell him to stop.

It's so annoying.

Tala's trying again… And…

"Ooooh, stop, Tala, you might hurt it!"

"For fuck's sake, Kai, it's already dead! How could I be hurting it any further!"

"I'm sure that when it died, it wanted to be buried in one peace, so why should we go and cut out it's organs?!"

"Kai, frogs don't have funerals, burials, or cremations, so stop whining and let me get on with it."

"But it wants to be buried! I'll bury it!"

"Fine, you bury it, just let me get it's liver, first!"

"Nooooooo!"

… Do you see what I have to put up with?!

P.E., Otherwise known as Physical Education, but something I know only as torture with balls, rackets, sticks and other equipment

3.15 in the pm

Final lesson of the day… I don't know if I have enough energy to do this lesson. It's hockey. It requires a lot of energy. Something I don't have a lot of, and therefore is the reason why I don't think I can survive it.

But I shall persevere! For Mariam is doing hockey, too. It's girls versus boys. The only bad things are:

1) I'm on a team with Kai and Tala (Tyson is excused because of his condition;

And 2) Mariam is on a team, with Emily.

Being up against Emily, and having Mariam on a team with Emily is very, very, very, very bad, because she will be out to murder us both. In the most brutal way possible. With her hockey stick.

Aaaaand, they're off! Kai's the captain of this team (a mistake, methinks), and has managed to hit the ball before the girls' captain. Who happens to be Emily. Kai 'passed' the ball to Tala (actually, he just hit in in a random direction, and Tala just happened to be stood there), Tala passed to me, I passed to Brooklyn, Brooklyn passed to Tyson, who was cheering at the sidelines…

"Brooklyn, Tyson's not playing!" I reminded him.

"Oh, yeah!" he shouted back to me.

So the girls now have the ball. Emily is running with it, Mariam's at the side of Emily, wide open… Emily changes direction, aims at Mariam and… HITS MARIAM WITH HER HOCKEY STICK IN THE ARM! What the fuck?!

"Mariam!" I shouted, and ran over to my little chicken dipper.

Mariam was crouched down, holding her arm with tears in her eyes.

"That fucking hurt," she mumbled.

The ref called off the match, and told Tala and Kai to take Mariam up to the medical ward (a big mistake asking them, to, if you ask me… Kai's bombarding her with questions you'd ask someone to find out if they had concussion).

I've walked over to Emily, who is smirking more evilly than I've ever seen her smirk before. In fact, imagine Tala's evil smirk. It's worse than that!

"Why did you hit Mariam?" I ask her.

"Because I don't like her," Emily replied, still smirking up at me. I've only just realised how much I've grown…

"Why? Because she's going out with me?"

"Too damn right."

I stared at her.

"Let me ask you Max… What does Mariam mean to you?"

"The world. More than you ever meant to me."

"Really? So let me ask you why you haven't slept with her yet."

"Sex isn't everything."

"That's not what you thought when you were with me."

"Well, I'm not with you anymore. And if Mariam doesn't want to sleep with me yet, then that's fine."

"Are you sure she doesn't want to sleep with you, because she doesn't actually like you or want to be with you?"

"No, she wants to take it slow. Anyway, stop questioning my relationship with Mariam, and just leave us the Hell alone!" I shouted at her, and turned away.

I began walking back into the school, when Emily shouted at me.

"She doesn't love you, Max!"

7.05 in the pm

We are all hiding out in Room 101. 'We' being me, Tyson, Mariam, Brooklyn, Kai and Tala. Kai and Tala seem to be in mine and Tyson's room more than their own, these days.

I decided that Mariam was going to stay in my room tonight. Well, actually, she asked if she could stay, and I wasn't about to object. Tyson announced that Brooklyn was going to stay in our room tonight, too, which was news to Brooklyn. Kai and Tala are here because they felt left out, apparently.

"You two aren't actually sleeping in here, are you?" Mariam asked Kai and Tala, who were both sat on the floor.

"Yes!" Kai replied.

"Well, there will be no sexytime, no moaning, nothing, you got it?" Tyson told them both, and they nodded.

We all took to looking at Mariam's arm, and as she lifted up her sleeve, we all hissed at the big purple mark that was there.

"The nurse told me that it's going to ache for a while, and so I should avoid lifting things and stuff with it," Mariam told us.

"So your knight in shining armour will have to help you out, then?" Kai asked, his eyes… Twinkling. Twinkling?!

"Yeah, I'll carry her bag around for her and everything," I nodded.

We all then decided that we were all knackered. What from swimming, mad Biology lessons (thanks, Kai), and P.E. with certain people hitting other certain people with hockey sticks… We were officially pooped.

Mariam cosied herself up in my bed, and Brooklyn cuddled into Tyson. Kai and Tala gave Tyson's bump one last stroked before snuggling into their sleeping bags on the floor.

I pulled Mariam in closer to me, and began stroking the bruise on her arm, trying to make it feel less achey.

10.13 in the pm

"Ohhh… Tala…"

"Shh, Kaisy, they'll hear you."

"Fuck me, Tala…That feels good…."

"WILL YOU TWO SHUT UP?!"

A/N: Holy. Crud. This chapter took me less than an hour to write! Does it look a bit rushed? If it does… You know the reason why.

Please tell me you know what 'moobs' are.

The line, "everyone in this pool has suck on my tits" belongs to Russell Howard. Google him. I have a bit of a crush on him. He is fantastic. In fact, I love him so much, that every time he comes on my TV screen, I do a tiny little wee.

… Not that you needed to know that.

I hope you enjoyed, anyway!