Title: Babysitting a Blond Brat
Rating: T
Word Count: 2,232 approx.
A/N: Super late update! I'm so gomen. ; w; And I must warn you that I LACK HUMOR. So, okay yep. Also, thank you SO MUCH for all the reviews and favs and follows I mean, really I feel so loved. Thank you! I will work hard! And I had my sugoi nee-chan (whom I call BEECHAN because I can) beta read this because I have no faith in myself so arigatou I LOVE YOU! Well, that's it with my boring A/N ewe. Please do review, it means a lot! And I hope you enjoy reading! ～（ゝ。∂）
Chapter 2
"Didn't I tell you never to address me like that—even by mistake—Pretty Boy?" an extremely annoyed Hyuuga Junpei hissed. A vein throbbed in his head and he was about to go berserk. He didn't even care that people gasped on the street and walked past quickly, trying to get away from the eccentric and weird group.
A middle aged man with extremely short black hair that parted on the left named Moriyama, who was with them, said, "Oh come on, give the poor guy a break. He's been modeling the entire day." And after looking about at the swarm of people crowding and whispering about them, he said, "People are staring alright? Let's go."
And the 'poor guy' could only say, "Yeah manager! You're so mean! I only called you Hyuuga-senpai once to—" A punch landed on his stomach, interrupting his speech and causing him to yell out in pain. "It hurts! It hurts! I'm sorry!"
"Kise Ryouta… I'm going to strangle you right here and right now if you don't shut up."
And the Kise Ryouta didn't object. He knew that messing with his manager while he was in his clutch mode was a VIP ticket to death.
"I'm never going to understand boys."
The three of them turned to stare at the peach haired girl who suddenly said (and suddenly appeared) something weird. A teary eyed Kise yelped, "Momoicchi! Save me! Uwaah." He jumped at her and clung onto her, ignoring the abnormal extra softness he felt near his chest by letting out a nervous cough.
"Jun-chan is bullying Ki-chan again?" the girl with the F-cup asked, hauling the puppy like male towards herself and squishing him in a tight hug.
"Jun-chan?" The bespectacled man managed to say in a deathly calm tone, before the sounds of his knuckles cracking came into hearing range. "Momoi Satsuki, I have observed that you have still not gotten rid of that insolent nickname you have given me, Hyuuga Junpei. I want to say that—"
"Wow, you're smart, aren't you, uncle?" A high pitched voice, which couldn't have belonged to anyone else other than an underdeveloped kid—as the 'uncle' would have described the voice, if he hadn't just taken a bullet straight to his ego (which broke him for a while)—sneered.
Another one followed, saying, "Look at that uncle, taking their full names as if they're getting married."
Silence followed. Kise and Momoi could have sworn that they heard something like rumbling thunder noises being emitted from Hyuuga. (It was only way, way later; that they started the joke that maybe he was starving like a pig).
It was a while before any of them stirred. "I have coupons for a discount at Muk-kun 's Patisserie cum Café!" Momoi said cheerily, her cheeks flushed red, indicating her barely passed attempt at not laughing.
Kise—who wasn't looking any better than the peach haired girl—also chirped, "Yay! Murasakibaracchi's pastries! Let's go!"
During this time though, the forever distracted Moriyama stared at the crowd that was now disappearing, silently wishing that he had the girl-in-the-blue-sweater's number; or the loli -with-the-long-hair's e-mail address. He was oblivious to what was going on.
But Hyuuga was frozen, the expression behind his glasses imperceptible. Some would have thought that the sobriety on his face reflected his thoughts, which would have been something along the lines of meeting some president or deciding how to propose to someone.
But in all actuality, it was something like: "He called me an uncle. An uncle? I'm an uncle…"
-x-
After licking the icing off his fingers, Kise Ryouta let out a long, happy sigh. "Murasakibaracchi is the best at making cakes."
Ignoring him, Moriyama straight facedly said, "Kise, get me that cute but also very intelligent looking employee's number." He stared at a girl who had caught his eye and… continued staring.
"I don't even know who she is!"
"B- But she's been looking over here occasionally and smiling for no reason!"
"Eh? Isn't that obvious? That girl—" Momoi stopped to raise her fork and point it at Kise. "—loves Ki-chan."
"Bingo! I thought so too, Momoicchi."
"I still need her number."
"Stop being so ecchi, Moriyama-senpai."
"I'm not ecchi!"
"Yes, senpai is ecchi!"
"Ki-chan's right! Moriyama-san ecchi!"
"Shut up!"
"Ecchi! Ecchi! ecchi—"
The ear splitting 'shut up' which interrupted them made each one of them let out an equally ear piercing shriek (The most deafening one belonging to our dear blond model). It was a while before the three idiots turned to look at the monster who was also at their table. Silently, they muttered apologies and went back to eating their food.
The silence that had turned from uncomfortable to awkward seemed to be unbearable for everyone except Hyuuga. So when Momoi couldn't take anymore of Kise's restless fidgeting, she chirped, "Ne, Ki-chan and Juuhyuuga-san, what happened to that death threat?"
Kise 'pfft'-ed at the 'Juuhyuuga' but shut himself up quickly. He was glad to not have to deal with the quietness anymore, but the topic raised was a bit… weird. "I'm not sure… maybe, manager knows?"
Three heads cautiously turned to the monster who hadn't said a word since being called something really traumatic. It felt as if he wasn't acknowledging their presence; but without even looking up at them, he said, "The police have decided to assign someone to your case."
Almost immediately a gasp escaped the blond's lips as he stood up and placed his hands on the table, leaning in close to Hyuuga. "Whoa! I'm going to get an inspector all to myself? Really? I'm going to get to see investigations and get to use handcuffs and… A gun! Will I get a gun? Will I be allowed to wear a police uniform and walk around with a badge and show it to people? Can I—"
"Shut up and sit down, doggy."
Hyuuga could have sworn that he saw two ears atop Kise's head and a tail wagging at the speed of light when he asked all those ridiculous questions. He also saw the tail come to a slow halt as he was told to sit. It made his anger slim out a bit. A bit.
"You do that once again and I'm forcing broccoli down your throat tonight."
Kise gulped and slid back into his seat, mentally puking at the thought of eating broccoli. He straightened himself when his manager cleared his throat and continued, "Anyway, the inspector who's going to take care of you is some… Aomine? The new Deputy Chief of Police… what's his name now?" After pinching the bridge of his nose and shutting his eyes tight to recall the name, he finally looked up at them, remembering the detail.
"Aomine Daiki."
Again, there was silence at their table. Though this time, it was broken faster.
Momoi, who had been sipping a milkshake quietly since she asked about the whole death threat thing; stood up and almost deafeningly yelled, "Dai-chan!"
Kise joined in the yelling. "You know him?"
"No!"
A confused glance was shot at her. "Huh?"
She returned him a confused look of her own and quietly said, "His name is so cute. I mean, it's like, Dai ki! Dai-chan! Can't you see it?"
Moriyama shook his head slowly, not sure what the hell was happening.
The monster growled. "I am going to kill each one of you slowly, and painfully."
-x-
Kise stretched himself, his hands shooting up straight above his head. He had had a tiring day. Dealing with his evil manager had drained him of all his energy and he was glad that he wasn't slaughtered.
He shoved his hands into his pockets and putting his earphones in, he started making his way back home. It was almost six, and the sun was starting to set, making an orange shade encompass the sky. It made the blond kind of sad. He felt that the sun was saying goodbye; since it was going to disappear again for a while.
His life was pretty much the same. Wake up, smile for the cameras, make people happy, be loved by millions and then go back to sleep. He didn't even like people anymore. They were too troublesome (more like annoying, irritating, distasteful, selfish and way more whiny than him) for him. Just give him some soup, and he was a happy child.
He sighed and kicked a pebble and continued walking. He mentally checked things in his to-do list. 'Zunon Boy Photoshoot? Check. Return Murasakibaracchi his money? Check. Compliment that old-but-famous-photographer like manager said? Check. Buy toilet paper? Cross! Find out about the threat? Hmm, check?'
The name that was mentioned a few minutes ago came to his mind all of a sudden. Aomine Daiki. Kise wondered what he would be like. Would he have a moustache? Or maybe huge muscles that looked like boulders? What if he was a timid new officer who was secretly a sadistic ore-sama? He shook his head violently, pushing away the thought that maybe the inspector was just a pedophile or a whiny fan.
'I hope he's super cool— even cooler than me!'
Kise brooded over the various possibilities of his—his!—inspector and waited for the signal to turn green. When it did, he casually started walking to the other side, looking down at his own feet, hoping he wouldn't be recognized by anyone until he got back home.
Snap!
Literally, snap.
A blinding white light flashed at Kise, making his eyes lose focus for a second and stumble back. He cursed himself, muttering about how he spoke too soon.
'Oh man,' He mentally grumbled. 'Can't people ever leave me alone?'
His eyes were shut tight, unable to take the sudden brightness that made shocks of pain travel from his eyes straight to his brain. He should have opened them earlier though, because when he went back a few steps, his arms swinging about, swatting a nonexistent target, he actually did swat something.
Something he shouldn't have touched.
A slap across Kise's face made him yelp and jump another step behind, which made him step on something very… soft? The ferocious barks that followed a nanosecond later confirmed his suspicions. And opening his eyes, he saw a flushed old lady, barely five feet tall standing in front of him, her hand raised, ready to slap him again.
Kise wanted to yell at the woman that he didn't mean to touch her freaking old bust but he couldn't bring himself to do it. He yelped and took some more steps back when he saw the lady walking towards him. Ah, he was so screwed.
And in all this mess, a kid (who was scared shitless by the dog especially) ran right into the middle of the street and the most untimely thing happened. The signal changed to red.
Even though Kise could only stretch out his hand and yell for the kid to get back, he was too late. The cars had started accelerating, and he panicked. He closed his eyes tightly and desperately prayed to all the gods he knew, his hands now pressed to his ears, blocking out any noise. Until—
"Don't play near the streets anymore, kid."
"I- I'm s-sorry, I didn't—"
"It's alright. Things happen."
"T-Thank you, officer."
Opening his eyes, the blond saw the man to whom the voice belonged. The man was taller than him, tanned and in a police uniform. The word 'cool' resounded in his mind.
'Cool' soon turned to 'scary' though, when the man turned and started yelling at the two stupid girls (before they could abscond) who used their camera in the middle of the road, and then at the old woman who was ready to chop off someone's head for touching her.
It earned him a hard slap, and he could only hold his hand up to his face, slowly rubbing the skin that was stinging him, as he cursed under his breath. And then, he turned to face Kise. And our blond was instantly amazed.
Amazed at how he had worn his tie so wrong that it looked like a bell attached to a cow's neck.
He almost laughed out before the tanned man walked over to him, and told him, "I don't care if you're stupid, just don't make things dangerous for others."
Kise nodded, letting his hand drop from his face. He removed his earphones and said, "I'm sorry, officer."
A 'Yeah-I'm-the-boss' smirk spread across the cop's face as he said, "That's right. You better be."
The blond was astonished. A stranger had never treated him like this before. Among the few thousands of people he had met, they would either be all over him, yelling that they loved him; or would be staring at him like he was some sort of Greek god, completely unlike the cop in front of him, who was more interested in a big boobed girl who was walking past them than in Kise.
The shorter man didn't even bother thinking why he was thinking like a masochist but just stared at the tanned male before him. And without his knowledge, the words just escaped his lips.
"I'm going to be your kawaii and eroi sidekick."
The cop snapped his head back to the shorter blond and looked at him incredulously. He grunted. "Hah?"
What the hell just happened?