Author's Notes: Ask what if questions in the review section and the What If Machine might answer them!
Alfred's 'What If' machine was getting very popular. Nations from around the world were coming to the World Meeting to see the magnificent machine in action. The questions were getting stranger and stranger.
"Alfred! Alfred! Can I ask a question?" asked little Peter Kirkland, the personification of Sealand.
"Sure!" replied Alfred enthusiastically, "Ask away!"
Peter cleared his throat and asked, "What if..."
"Sealand! You're not a country! Get out!" yelled Arthur who just came back from a tea break.
"I am too, Jerkland!" Peter said, sticking out his tongue.
"Yeah. 'Jerkland,'" added Alfred in a mocking tone.
"Ugh. Fine ask your little question," sighed Arthur, glaring at Alfred.
"Ok. What if I took over Jerkland?" asked Peter with a grin on his face.
"Hey! No fair!" yelled Arthur. Alfred elbowed him in the ribs.
"Time for you to get a taste of your own medicine," he said, grinning evilly.
"Here is your dinner, Master." Arthur said holding out a plate with fried fish and French fries.
Peter jerked the plate from Arthur, "Fish and chips again?" He took a bite and quickly spit it out, "This is disgusting! Make me something else!"
"What? This is the best recipe I've got!" Arthur said in disbelief.
"Well, then go get Francis to make me dinner!" replied Peter angrily.
"Ugh! Francis, really?" sighed the Brit, "Why don't you just make him your cook then?"
"Hmmm... Mainly because I hate you and I like to make you work!" laughed the Sealander.
"Fine! I'll go ask Francis to make you snails for dinner," replied Arthur.
"No, I don't want snails," Peter said, scrunching up his nose, "tell him to make me something more edible."
"Whatever," replied Arthur as he left to find Francis. Both he and Francis had been taken over by Peter when Alfred had lent him his Pocket Nuke TM.
The screen of the What if Machine suddenly went dark as Arthur punched the screen, "That's enough of that."
"Hey! We were watching that!" yelled Alfred walking up to the machine, "Arthur! You broke it!"
"What an ass!" Peter agreed.
"Kiku! Can you help me fix this thing?" Alfred asked as he banged the side of the machine, "Arthur broke it."
"Yes, Mr. America," Kiku Honda said as he walked over to Alfred. He picked up the machine and looked it over.
"Can you fix it?" Alfred asked, hopefully.
"Yes. I just need a hammer," replied Kiku. Alfred picked up a hammer randomly sitting on the table. "Will this do?"
"Um, yes," the Japanese replied, confused. He picked up the hammer and banged it repeatedly against the side of the machine until there was a good sized dent, "There. I believe it will work now."
"Ok, give it a try," Alfred said to Kiku.
"M-me?"
"Yeah! Ask it a question!"
"Um... what if... um..." Kiku said thoughtfully, "Um... I really don't know..."
"Oh! Can I ask one then, aru?" Yao Wang asked enthusiastically raising his hand and hopping up and down.
"Sure," replied Alfred. He put the machine down and aimed the microphone at Yao.
"What if I told Alfred that he had to pay me back, aru?" The screen of the machine changed to a scene of Alfred's house. Alfred and Yao were arguing.
"I can't pay you back! I don't have enough money!" Alfred said, pleadingly.
"Well then sell some of your stuff, aru." Yao replied, grinning.
"Sell my... no! I like my stuff!"
"Well, then you will be bankrupt and my slave, aru."
"...Fine! I'll sell some of my crap!
Alfred walked over to his chair, "Will this do?"
Yao pulled out a calculator, "You owe me about fourteen trillion dollars, aru... so, no."
"How about this?" said Alfred referring to his TV.
"Nope, aru."
"Ugh, then this?" he pointed at his home theater system.
"No."
"What can I sell then? My whole house?"
Yao typed on his calculator, "You need to sell everything... except for the tool shed out back, aru."
"What!" Alfred yelled, "I can't owe you that much!"
"I don't think you know how much 14 trillion dollars is, aru."
The What If Machine's image fuzzed out as Alfred turned it off, "Well that was boring! I'm leaving." He started walking away with the machine.
"Hey! We were watching that, aru!"
"Tsk tsk, Alfred," Arthur said, "You can be so rude sometimes."
"At least I didn't break it like you! Anyways, it's mine. I don't owe Yao fourteen trillion dollars!" he added.
"You're right, aru," Yao replied laughing, "You owe me more than that!"
"You guys are assholes. I'm going to start a TV show with my What if Machine!" he walked away, still carrying the machine.
Author's Notes: For Alfred's TV show, ask what if questions in the reviews section.