2. Alone
"Come back with more soda or forfeit your life to an eternity of pain!" threatened Gaz as Dib left the house. "And stop being so weird!" she yelled after him before violently slamming the door shut. The black-clad boy ignored his sister as he continued quickly towards the house of his arch nemesis. He had an excellent plan to finally capture Zim. Every one of his previous attempts at snaring the alien in its base were foiled because the garden gnomes would disintegrate his weapons before he could use them, but today, he would target his weapon at the gnomes first.
Dib smiled sinisterly to himself as he ran around the corner and Zim's purple house slowly came into view. Every time Dib saw the odd looking house, he couldn't help but think about how stupid his fellow humans were that they never noticed. Then he would think about how odd it was that his family appeared to be the only intelligent human beings in the neighborhood, not counting Ms Bitters because nobody knows which neighborhood she came from, or even if she was human. Then he would think about how, despite his own father being a genius, Dib has never had a stimulating conversation with any other human being before in his life. The only 'person' he had ever had a meaningful conversation with before was with Zim. Whenever Dib thought these things, he'd get depressed, but this evening, he was so confident that his plan would work that all dark thoughts were wiped from his mind as he focused all of his attention on the target of his obsession for the past three years.
Dib quietly sneaked up to the house and aimed the gun…
"What are you doing on my base, monkey-boy?" he heard Zim's voice. He jumped in surprise and spun towards the sound of the voice. Zim was perched precariously on the corner of the roof, his legs dangling down as he eyed Dib uninterestedly.
"Oh, nothing. Just…admiring the architecture," said Dib nervously. He mentally cursed his luck. His plan did not include Zim spotting him first. Suddenly, Dib blanched as he realized a very important fact – Zim did not have his disguise on. Dib stuttered in astonishment as he pointed wordlessly at the alien, looking around to see if anybody was around to witness this. Of course, knowing Dib's luck, nobody was.
"Give it up, Dib. I have," said Zim, looking back up into the dark sky.
"Wait…what do you mean?" asked Dib, frowning in confusion. Given up?
"My leaders have abandoned me. I am without purpose," said Zim. He turned his head back down to face Dib, who shuddered unexpectedly at the unfamiliar look in Zim's eyes.
"So…you're not going to try to destroy Earth anymore?" Dib asked. Zim gazed at the human for a bit longer with that listless dead look in his red eyes, then looked back up to the sky.
"I am without purpose," the alien repeated softly, this time as though speaking to himself. Dib frowned. He looked down at his shiny new stun-gun that he'd only just received earlier today and sighed in frustration. What a waste of money.
"May I come up there?" Dib asked hesitantly as he tucked the gun away. He saw Zim shrug impassively. The pale boy looked around for a way up.
"Gir will let you in," said Zim tediously. Dib frowned as he carefully headed up the garden path, eying the gnomes with great distrust, but they simply sat there, unmoving, their bulging eyes trained lifelessly forward. Dib cautiously knocked on the door, and waited.
"Welcome home, son," greeted a pair of oddly dressed robots as the door swung open. He stepped inside, still suspicious of how easy it had been to enter the fortress that he'd been failing to penetrate for so long.
"Hi Dib!" sang the small robot as Dib strode into the kitchen.
"Gir, how do I get onto the roof?" Dib asked.
"I dunno," Gir shrugged, looking mystified. Dib sighed. "How do I get to Zim?" he tried again. Gir blinked blankly.
"You already have," said Gir, before rolling backwards off the bench and laughing hysterically at a joke in his own mind. Dib stared at the robot, unable to stop himself from admiring the alien for his patience with the mad little tin opener.
"How do I get to where Zim is sitting, Gir?" Dib tried one more time.
"You take the dustbin," beamed Gir, pointing towards a greasy-looking trash can in the corner of the room. Dib looked at it suspiciously, wondering if he should trust it, then shrugged, thought 'what the hell', before he bravely stepping inside. The dustbin began to ascend, and he soon found himself rising through the ceiling and onto the roof. Zim was sitting with his back towards Dib, hunched over as he stared at the ground.
"Tell master, okay?" Gir called up through the hole. Dib didn't know what the little robot was talking about but he nodded anyways and Gir smiled widely before marching to the TV.
"What do you want, Dib-stink?" Zim asked quietly as Dib stepped closer. The Earth boy quietly sat down beside the alien and shrugged.
"I was going to capture you, but now that you're all hunched up like this, there's no point, is there?" said Dib.
"There has never been one," said Zim, not looking up. Dib glanced at the alien from the corner of his eyes.
"What happened?" he asked.
"My servitude has been terminated," Zim replied shortly, not looking like he was going to divulge any information as to why.
"So…aren't you free to do whatever you want now?" Dib asked. Zim looked up at Dib, a perplexed look on his face.
"What are you talking about?" he asked. Dib stared into the alien's large red eyes and found himself unable to look away. He's never been this close to Zim before, especially while he was not in disguise. He allowed himself to admit that the alien's eyes were truly the most amazing things he'd ever seen. He wanted to examine them. Under a microscope. Dib shook his head. Now was not the time for that. "Dib-monkey! Zim is asking you a question!" Zim said loudly, breaking Dib's thoughts. Dib blinked and quickly looked away.
"Well, you aren't under obligation to do what they want you to do anymore, so you can do whatever you want," said Dib, frowning at Zim's mystified expression.
"What I…want?" Zim asked, sounding like he could not understand the concept.
"Well…yeah. What have you always wanted to do besides take over Earth?" Dib asked. Zim stared at Dib as though he had just asked "Where is the cow of your Ukrainian cork gluer?"
"Zim…does not understand your question," said the alien.
"You've got to want something right? For example, I've always wanted a Nitro-blaster 3000 but the only ones on earth are prototypes," said Dib.
"Why do you want one?" asked Zim.
"I don't know. I just like them, I guess," said Dib with a shrug. Zim stared at the boy as though he were mad.
"Irkens were not raised to want things just because they 'liked them'," said Zim disapprovingly. "From birth our purpose is to conquer. Should we fail, our purpose becomes to serve, clean, or maintain. If we are banished, we are given the purpose of eternally serving food, cleaning toilets, or picking gum off from beneath Zirconium space crafts. We are never without a purpose, and we only want what is required to fulfill our purpose," said Zim, "I have no purpose," he repeated, "So what could I possibly want?"
Dib stared at the alien for a minute, slightly stumped. "Guess you guys got it pretty tough," he mused. Zim glanced at Dib, a puzzled look on his face.
"Difficulty is not an obstacle to an Irken conqueror," Zim stated.
"Apparently," said Dib, smirking to himself. He had always wondered why Zim never just gave up when he failed time and time again. Although, to give himself some credit, Dib never gave up either.
The two sat in silence for a while, Zim gazing wordlessly into the sky and Dib at the ground, and occasionally at Zim. Once, Zim had caught Dib looking, and was puzzled when the Earth boy hastily looked away, a red tinge on his face.
"Does the Dib-stink think lowly of Zim?" the alien asked, frowning angrily.
"No! Well…not anymore now that you're not out to destroy my home," said Dib, looking determinably at his shoes. Zim glanced down at Dibs shoes, then back at Dib.
"Then why does the Dib respect his filthy booties more than Zim?" Zim asked, sounding increasingly furious. Dib stared Zim, looking puzzled.
"M-my boots?" said Dib, glancing back down at his shoes, then up at Zim.
"Perhaps it is filthy human tradition, but back on Irk, we looked into the eyes of those who we respect," said Zim, staring straight into Dib's eyes. Dib blushed at the implication and couldn't bring himself to look away. The two stared at each other for a while before Zim finally nodded. "That's more like it. I remember back at home when I was…," Zim trailed off, a lost look appearing in his eyes. He looked away and scowled. "Home…," said quietly. He shook his head and closed his eyes before leaning back to lie on the cold ceiling.
"I guess this is your home now," said Dib, gazing down sympathetically at the alien.
"How can this be…," Zim muttered quietly, his eyes shutting in fatigue.
"Hey, it's not that bad. What's so different about Earth anyways?" asked Dib, trying to sound cheerful. Zim's eyes snapped open furiously as he opened his mouth to yell at the Earth-stink for his ignorance, but then he paused.
"There are stinky humans on Earth. They understand nothing about the universe and never will and never want to. They live to die, filthy and more ignorant than new born Slorbeez. And Earth is filled with Irken poison, and food that burns, and acid falls from the sky," said Zim, "But it makes no difference, I cannot leave," said Zim, standing up and heading back, gracefully walking along the narrow beam where the two slopes of the roof met in the centre. Dib awkwardly followed, not keen on being left alone on the steep roof. He was surprised to notice that the alien had grown significantly taller during the six years that he'd been on the planet, and had now even surpassed Dib in height.
"Well, not all humans are that stupid, are they?" Dib asked self-consciously, not knowing if he should have asked, already dreading the answer.
"You're alright. But you still stink," Zim said shortly. Dib was willing to compromise.
"And, well, you've got all that technology. Can't you invent something to make yourself not allergic to human food and water?" asked Dib.
"I probably can," said Zim unenthusiastically.
"I – I can help…you know, i-if you want," said Dib awkwardly. There was a silence in which Dib began to doubt himself for offering.
"Sure, whatever," said Zim with a shrug. He entered the shoot and turned to look expectantly at the human boy on his roof.
"Oh! Right," Dib mumbled when he realized that Zim was waiting for him to get into the lift.
They stood in silence in the little compartment as it descended downwards into the house.
"Why have you offered to help me?" Zim asked quietly, breaking the silence. His back was turned to Dib and he was staring at some invisible point on the elevator door.
"I guess, I don't know… Since we aren't enemies anymore, we might as well be friends…or something…right?" Dib said slowly, carefully considering his words. The truth was, he was lonely. Everybody at school thought he was weird, and even his own family couldn't be bothered to understand him. He had always secretly admired the alien for his perseverance and confidence, but could never act on his admiration because, well, his home planet was being threatened. But now that it isn't, it's worth a shot trying to befriend the guy.
"What?" Dib asked when he realized that the alien was staring at him.
"You want to be my friend?" he asked, a look of fear beginning to appear in the crimson orbs.
"I-I guess…," Dib said, looking puzzled at the terrified look in Zim's eyes.
"I will not condone 'surprise parties' or 'waffles day'!" Zim yelled, sounding horrified at the concept of befriending Dib.
"What the hell? I hate parties," said Dib with a frown, "And I wouldn't want to eat waffles for a whole day…what are you even talking about?"
Zim narrowed his eyes in suspicion as he scrutinized the boy before him, "I obtained a human 'friend' before. It was HORRIBLE!!" he said, backing against the wall in terror.
"What…what happened to him?" Dib asked, not knowing if it was a wise idea.
"I…took care of his nutty ways…," said Zim darkly, before straightening up as the elevator finally stopped and marching out. Dib quietly followed, his eyes widening as the sight of the alien's basement greeted his eyes.
"This…is amazing," he breathed, staring at the various machines and contraptions.
"Yes, yes," said Zim uninterestedly.
"I can't believe you're just showing me this after I've been trying to sneak in here for so many years," Dib continued, carefully examining the strange gadgets and computers, careful not to touch or bump into anything. Zim spun around suddenly, causing Dib to walk straight into his chest.
"Are we agreed that there will be none of this 'parties' or 'waffles' or 'together foreverness'?" Zim asked warily, ignoring his curiosity as to why the human's cheeks had turned red.
"Well, definitely no parties, I like waffles but only once in a while," Dib said hastily, "And together forever? I'm no expert, by any means, but I'm pretty sure that's outside of strictly 'friendship' parameters."
"Good. I will be your friend, Dib, on the condition that you help me develop immunity to human filth, and teach me the obnoxious ways of your species," Zim said, his arrogance a sign that he was beginning to cheer up. Dib grinned and nodded. Zim scrutinized the Earthling for a few seconds. "You may skip the tests," Zim declared valiantly, before he marched off into the darkness of the lab.
"Um…thanks…"