Outside the room the cheering roars could still be heard, mixed liberally with drunken shouting and more than a few Dwarven battle cries. Inside the room there was a tense silence.

King Thorin flicked his gaze from his sister-son to the lad's new bride, then back again. He looked at Dis, who appeared pale and worried. Next came Thranduil, well, there was nothing showing on the elf's face to give any hint at his thoughts. Same for the other elves in the room. Dwalin was scowling, but that was normal at least. The rest of his Company were gathered as well, thought only Bofur was smiling in an awkward kind of way. Bilbo fidgeted in his seat, chewing his bottom lip and nearly wringing his poor hands. Thorin sniffed and turned to look at Gandalf, who was puffing away on his pipe, lost in thought. Bard. Thorin's eyes narrowed on the human monarch and wondered why he and his family were even in the room. Next to him, Dain crossed his muscled arms and lifted his nose in the air as if scenting something foul. Fili was sitting next to his own betrothed. Thorin's eyes narrowed, the dam wasn't looking worried, no … "are you bored?"

The gruff voice broke the silence rather abruptly. Bilbo actually jumped a bit, with Balin putting a hand on the hobbit's shoulder to steady him.

Zelke Steelforge shrugged, the light catching the faceted gemstones entwined in her beard. Fili's betrothed was the daughter of one of the finest Longbeard families, besides Durin's own line of course. She was wealthy, connected, and sharp. Thorin's eyes narrowed on her. Too bad she was also rather shrewish, nagging, and rather mean spirited at times. "I don't see the bother." The dwarrowdam curled her lips in Tauriel's direction. "The elf had …plenty …of time to ask pertinent questions BEFORE the wedding."

Fili stiffened, clenching his jaw. His betrothed had made no secret of her disapproval of Kili's sudden marriage, to an elf.

Thorin sighed. He had not done his nephew any service affiancing him to this one. In his defense, when he'd made the offer for the lass to be the next queen she'd been a charming ten year old. Fili had been five. He was going to have to do something about her, just not yet. He had to settle Kili first it seemed.

Dis sighed out loud, drawing attention. Thorin blinked, realigning his thoughts. His sister looked like she would like to leap over the tables and dig a blade into a certain Steelforge lass. Wait. Would that be a bad thing? Thorin winced. Yes, Zelke's father was necessary for political clout at the moment. Damn. Someone he needed especially since the disagreements had arisen with the Silverstone clan.

Thorin looked over at the group of interested Dwarven representatives of the Longbeard clans, weighing their responses. Only three met his eyes. Not good.

Thranduil stirred, making all eyes swing in his direction. "An allusion to the hasty wedding ceremony no doubt. Yes. I too felt all was done too quickly. That last battle was less than a month ago."

"My son and Tauriel are in love, and a celebration is just what is needed for one and all." Dis spoke, her tone crisp.

"I didn't understand." Kili sounded, and looked miserable. He turned toward Tauriel, his dark eyes melting. "I heard you tell me that the wedding night is what made the marriage official to the elves. I just didn't realize that …"

"Having sex." Dwalin supplied when the young prince hesitated.

"could only be done with the person you married." Kili reached for her, making all the elves stiffen.

Tauriel started to pull away, then stopped. She hesitated, then allowed his fingertips to graze hers. Sadly she smiled. "I let my emotions overcome me."

Dain rolled his eyes, grumping. "Din't know elves HAD emotions."

"Well of course they do! Strong ones!" Bilbo apparently couldn't take any of the tension any more, jumping to his feet and escaping Balin. "She loves him and he loves her!" He waved at the newlyweds. "It's just a matter of cultural differences."

Legolas nodded, earning him a smile from the small, curly haired hobbit.

Thranduil pursed his lips sourly. "Not quite. My ward married this princling, not knowing he was already wedded. It's a breach of trust."

Bard shook his head. "Not according to Dwarven customs."

"The bride is elvish, she has a right to be the only wife." Thranduil insisted haughtily. "We only marry once, even when a spouse dies. Only at one time in our long history has that been broken, to disastrous results."

"She married a Dwarven prince, in a Dwarven ceremony, and in a Dwarven kingdom!" Dain spit out the words emphatically.

Kili stood suddenly, turning to look straight into Tauriel's eyes as she looked back hopefully at him. "You are my heart, my love, my life. I would have no other, I will never look to another. I will be faithful all my days and all my nights. You are my one and only."

"Only …she's not." This from the Silverstone elder, causing a stir among the Khazad clan leaders. Interestingly, several dwarrow moved away from him as if trying to avoid being painted by his bitter words. "If the elf doesn't feel she is married properly, then she's not. And he's not."

Dain turned and spat to the side, making Bard's son jump clear with a startled look. The Iron Hills leader gave no notice.

"I accept that Kili did not deliberately mislead me." Tauriel said, a catch in her voice, but her eyes steady and true upon his face. Kili relaxed a bit, smiling at her tenderly.

"The fact remains, he isn't free to marry my ward." Thranduil stroked his chin, sounding sad in a way that Thorin suspected to be false.

Bard coughed, drawing attention to the human leader. "What ways do Dwarves …or Elves for that matter … have to dissolve marriages?"

"Death." A blonde she-elf stepped forward, a distant cousin of Tauriel's if Thorin's memory served.

"Death." Affirmed Zelke Steelforge with a hint of a smile. Fili jostled her and she gave him a cross look. He growled, settling only with a stern look from his uncle.

Bilbo hummed under his breath. "Separate holes."

Others chimed in, but Thorin stepped forward holding up one hand for silence. He turned to Bilbo with raised brows. "What?"

"Erm ..that is …for Hobbits, a marriage can be separated into two different households. Things divided. After living apart for five years they are considered to be single once more." Bilbo blushed and looked around, a bit abashed at being the center of so much attention. "It's most civilized, I assure you."

Balin pointed at the Hobbit with a hopeful look. "Kili and whomever has been in his past haven't lived together in the past five years."

"He isn't a Hobbit." Thranduil pointed out with cool logic.

Legolas stood up abruptly, moving forward. "Kili and Tauriel are in love, they are wedded. His past is Dwarven and should be taken as such. As long as he keeps his promises to her now and going forward, nothing else should matter."

Tauriel blinked uncertainly, then gave a grateful smile to her long time friend and near-brother.

"The legality of the marriage is in doubt. So too will be the legitimacy of any children." Silverstone said, a nasty look on his face, and a look of vindictiveness. He coughed suddenly, waving a hand in front of his face as a small cloud of smoke seemed to envelope his head.

"Pardon." Gandalf said gently and patted the dwarf on the back.

Thorin blinked. When had the Gray Wizard moved over to the other side of the room? "Eh?"

Gandalf smiled benignly at the crowd. "There is a Human tradition of divorce."

"Neither of them are Human." Dis said quietly, though pinning her eyes on the wizard with hope. "You have a point to make?"

"Basically, in Dwarven terms, it's a quit-claim." The wizard spread his hands in a non-threatening manner.

Dain sucked in a breath, then nodded. Thorin and his Company began grinning.

The elves appeared lost, however. Fili stood, facing the Elvish king. "If we get proof that none of those my brother has had congress with feel that THEY are married to HIM, then will you and yours accept that he is free and clear and …well, married to each other?"

Thranduil sat back, taking council with none. Long moments passed in silence then he abruptly held up one finger. "As long as there are no children involved."

Tauriel nearly jumped out of her skin, having not considered that question. Kili shook his head at her, indicating that this would not be an issue. She relaxed a bit, nodding.

"How many?" Legolas asked. "We can send out representatives on our fastest mounts. Birds. Whatever means we have available. I will ride."

"I too!" Fili grinned fiercely. Thorin grunted, suspecting his crown prince would not only do anything to assist his younger brother …but also wanted to be away from Zelke and any thoughts of his own wedding.

All attention turned to a hapless Kili, who blushed. "Er. Three."

Tauriel paled, while Bain snorted. "You're over seventy and only three? I've done better than that and I'm not twenty yet."

Now both Dwarves and Elves all blinked and turned toward the Human with curiosity.

"Da?"

Bard turned, not realizing that Sigrid was still behind him. He blanched. "It's different for males than for females." He muttered and sent a harsh look at his son that promised retribution. "You're not to let anyone touch you before you get married."

Thranduil chuckled lazily. "Not so different after all, at least for your girl child. Is that same double standard for Dwarves?"

"No." Dis straightened. "There is not."

"Mam could marry again, or visit with someone if she so chooses." Fili showed his teeth at the elves. "She chooses to honor our father instead and remain chaste."

Dis blinked, then slowly smiled. Suddenly Thorin and all other members of his Company had other places to look rather than at her or either of her children.

Thranduil blinked, then nodded. "I see."

Fili paled, but said nothing at the moment, looking around uneasily. He shot his mother a questioning look, which she did not meet.

"Alright." Kili clapped his hands together. "Three. Let us get this matter over and done with."

Gandalf held up a hand. "Sex. Defined as personal contact that brings a physical release." He ignored Bard suddenly shooing his children out of the room. "Not just the act that could bring children."

Tauriel looked puzzled. Kili blushed bright red. "Four." He amended quickly. The she-elf's green eyes went wide as she realized what the wizard was alluding to. Kili looked at Fili. "That caravan we guarded down south?" He asked.

The crown prince grimaced and thought about it. "Sorry."

Kili winced and shrugged. "Five I guess."

"Guess?" Tauriel's voice rose alarmingly.

"Definitely five." Kili's voice firmed.

Dain chuckled and shook his head. "And here I thought attending a wedding would be boring."