First of all I want to thank cherrycokerocks for giving me the motivation of adding another chapter to this story; she gave me some great ideas to go on! Thank you girl! I'm really glad you guys liked this and I also want to say a big thanks for your reviews, they are always great and make me want to keep writing! Thanks xD

My Wishful Thinking

Today is going to be a good day.

I can feel it, I can feel it in my mind and I can feel it in my gut. Sure I had to lay in the couch all night long and that never puts me in a good mood, especially when I wake up to a sore back. But last night, as I lay there, high and alert my back was the last thing in my mind.

It wasn't either when I woke up this morning.

My mind was and still is compromised with the man that took over my bed, replaying over and over again that kiss, thinking about the possibilities it could carry and what does it really means.

I replayed the moment more than a few times, and every time the scene revived inside my head one little thing stood out; he was the one who kissed me, I mean Chris was the one who kissed me.

It still feels surreal, the way those stunning eyes delved into mine, the feeling of his lips, the taste of his tongue moving against mine… how he felt hot and ready as I touched him.

I mean that couldn't be alcohol talking, I've known him for a long time and he never gets touchy friendly while drunk. In fact, when drunk he just gets silly, annoying or in some rare occasions depressed, it all depends on his mood and the amount of GG he drinks; but never in all the years I know him he had gotten kissy, touchy-friendly… at least not with me.

There's that, and then there's that smile he send my way before passing out on me. When my mind was not replaying the kiss it replayed that smile…

That smile talked about possibilities and no regrets… or that's how I see it, because if it was alcohol talking he wouldn't have smiled at me that way… or would he?

While my mind flies away with all these images and memories I hear I grunt, I don't have to look to know it's Chris because… well, because he's the only one here besides me. So I don't have to look, but I do anyways, watching as he sit on the bed and starts to rub at his face with the palm of his hands.

His short blonde hair is all messy and his jaw is shadowed by a light stubble… honestly he looks like hell, but if anyone can put that look and get away with it that's Chris.

I've seen him like this before, so when he gets up to his feet and almost blindly starts to walk around I know that he'll end up in the bathroom. There he'll be a few minutes before walking out…

So I watch him get into the bathroom and then I wait, sitting by the small table in the room while I cradle a cup of coffee in my hand. I woke up early this morning and went to get something to eat, I brought for two…

While I wait I start to get antsy, I mean I was doing alright with my memories and stuff but now that he's awake I feel the full weight of reality hit me.

He's awake and when he gets out of the bathroom he's going to face me and the fact that we made out last night. I don't know how this will play and that's why I'm feeling so nervous… I mean this is Chris, we are friends, we have known each other for years and this is a turning point for us.

Maybe he regrets it and doesn't want it to happen again, in the worst case scenario he can be mad because I let it happen while his mind wasn't in the best of places… what if he hates me now?

Somehow I'm not sure if this is going to be a good day after all, it could turn out to be the worst day ever.

After a while I see him get out of the bathroom and as if in slow motion I watch as he approaches me, when he gets to the table he takes the only chair available and pulls it next to mine.

"I feel like a truck hit me and then ran over me" He grunts, reaching for the cup I have in my hands and drinking from it.

Now that was my coffee…

"I'm never, ever drinking again" He vows, still looking groggy as his eyes stare at the wall in front of him.

"I've heard that before" I say, almost in a whisper as I venture to take a look at him… I'm here getting more antsy by the second.

"Hmmm, I mean it now. My head is killing me and I feel like shit, I don't like feeling like shit on travel days" He says, drinking my coffee.

I nod, not saying anything because really, what can I say? Does he even remember what happened last night? It's not like he kissing me is something he would pass out in conversation… or what do I know, it's not like we've been in a situation like this before.

I bit on my lower lip and stare at the table, waiting, thinking… and as the seconds go away with neither of us talking I start to feel… I don't know, disappointed? "You were really out of it last night…" I say, trying to gauge his reaction and see if he remembers.

He chuckles and runs his fingers through his hair, his eyes moving to me, finally. "That bad?"

I sigh. His eyes are not telling me anything of kisses or inappropriate touches, what I see is that he doesn't remember a damn thing. That I got my hopes up for nothing… "That bad… maybe you should stop with the GG because I don't want to spend all my nights looking after you"

He does a double take and his eyes widen a bit. "Whoa, are you mad? What did I do now?"

Am I mad? I don't know if I'm mad, all I know is that he doesn't remember! And if he doesn't remember it means that he was wasted out of his mind and that I, his supposed to be best friend took advantage of that…

That doesn't only makes me the worst of friends but also a horrible person.

"I'm not mad, I just want to take a shower" I get up to my feet without looking at him. "When you get out lock the door" With that I walk away and get into the bathroom, closing the door and resting my back against it.

God I'm so stupid, I shouldn't have let it go that far; as the sober one I should have pulled away the moment he dragged me with him to bed, I should have stopped him! But no, stupid Jason got carried away and took advantage of drunk Chris, and instead of confessing what happened as I should I run and hide in the bathroom.

Dragging my hand down my face I take a deep breath that's supposed to calm me. I'm worth shit as a friend, and I'm supposed to be in love with him!

But what should I do, tell him everything and risk it all? Or should I keep quiet, pretend it never happened and wait and see if one day he remembers? But if he remembers by his own he'll end up hating me the same…

I screwed up!

Wanting to gather my thoughts I strip off my clothes and get into the shower, once I'm fresh and relaxed I'll feel better and I'll think things over. I'll think on what to do and what to tell him.

Turning the spray of water on I close my eyes and let it wash over me, while I'm here I don't want to think, I need my mind blank so I can plan on something.

"Jay?"

My eyes open abruptly when I hear that voice and I tense a bit, he sounds way too close, like right inside the bathroom.

I look around, the curtain is closed but I hear movement…

"Have you heard of the term privacy, I'm taking a shower here" I say and once again my tone sounds angry. I shouldn't be angry at him, I should be angry with myself… hell, he should be angry at me too.

"Come on, I know that you shower with all your cats lurking around and that's not very private…"

I soap quickly, rinsing… "I don't have any cats; Denise took them all with her"

"What a bitch, she didn't even like the cats" He says pulling the curtain open and peeking inside.

"Chris!" I pull the curtain close, turn off the shower and grab a towel to wrap around my waist. When I pull the curtain open he's there, standing with his arms up his chest.

"Tell me, what did I do?"

I take a deep breath and holding the towel secure I look down to the floor. I can't tell him… he'll hate me and our friendship will be over.

He chuckles. "Did I cause a scene? Did I get in jail or threw up all over you?"

I shake my head and mumble. "It wasn't you… I kind of kissed you" There it is, it's out… it's over.

"You what?"

"It was an accident, I didn't mean to… I mean you were drunk and I wasn't and I don't know how it happened, I'm sorry I should have stopped you but then… I'm sorry"

I can't even look at him, I feel bad, really bad. Hopefully he'll see it as… an accident and he won't hate me for it.

"So you kissed me while I was drunk" It wasn't a question, maybe he's trying to assimilate it, maybe he is starting to get angry at me…

"Well, you were the one who kissed me but you were drunk, you were not in your right mind and I don't know why I didn't stop you, I should have"

There is a moment of silence, it lasts too long…

"Did you want to stop it?"

I bring my hand up to my face and run my fingers through my eyebrow. If I tell him that I wanted to stop it maybe we'll put this behind us as something that shouldn't have happened, but if I tell him the truth… I don't know what can happen then.

My fingers are still on my brow and if I keep them rubbing I'll take my skin off, but what can I do, I don't know what to do or what to say.

"Jay…" He says and I'm almost tempted to look up at him, almost… "I know about the kiss, it's not like I was drunk out of my mind"

This time I look up at him, finding his eyes scanning my face. "You remember?"

"Of course I do"

I'm still staring at him… "But you didn't say anything"

"Neither did you"

My hand drops to my neck and is stays there. He remembers… and if he wasn't that drunk then that means it wasn't alcohol talking… he kissed me because… because he wanted to?

I don't say anything, and while we both stand facing each other I see him get a bit closer… then a bit more until he is just inches away from me…

It just gets to me that I'm wearing nothing that a towel.

"Then what does this all means?" I say while my eyes fix on his; I'm hoping… he is so very close that if I lean forward I'll be kissing him… but somehow I'm afraid to take that step.

As an answer he is the one that leans forward to brush his lips with mine. It's not a real kiss and more of a brief meeting of lips; he pulled away before I could even grasp the feeling.

But he didn't pull away that far, just enough so he could take a look into my eyes.

Chris has stunning eyes, up close they are even more breathtaking, just one look and I'm doomed, stunned and at a loss of words. This can mean so much, because not only does he remember the kiss, he was the one who started it and as things are going he could pretty much kiss me again…

"It means that I kissed you" He presses his lips to mine, briefly. "And that I want to kiss you again"

That's all it takes for me to be the one kissing him. It's not a forceful kiss or even a needy one; I just touch his lips with mine, a little chaste smooch. He returns it and before he can pull away I cradle the back of his head with my hand, securing him against me so I can feel a while longer the feeling of his soft lips on mine.

I'm tentative with this because even though I've been keeping my feelings for him guarded I'm no expert when it comes to this, and when I say this I mean kissing friends, man-friends…

It may sound weird because after all, I'm in love with one, but like I said before, this wasn't something that I planned, it just happened and that we are here doing this feels surreal.

Going back to what's going on, I move my hand up so I can run my fingers through his hair, and while I do this he nudges at my lips, asking for entrance. Of I grant it, taking a deep breath against his lips as our tongues meet again, sliding against each other, getting familiar.

It feels great, he feels great… and what feels even greater are his hands sliding down my sides and coming to a stop at the towel.

With a swift movement he takes it away… in that moment I mean to break apart, but he pulls me closer to him and I feel his arousal pressing against my own. It's enough to stop me from pulling away.

He is still clothed so he feels rough against my naked flesh, rough but so hard and inviting. It feels obscene, I like it.

Starting to participate more I reach to take his shirt away, tossing it aside once it's off and not caring where it landed; he doesn't care either because once it's off we are back to kissing and touching and the next thing I know is that his pants are going down and that's his boxers went down with them and that we are now flesh to flesh.

Hot and bared against each other.

Maybe this is too much too soon but this is Chris! If he isn't pulling back then neither I am.

But then he does pull away… his breathing labored and his erection pressing insistently against mine.

"Is this too much?" He asks in a whisper while his hand reaches down to grab me… I gasp; moving my hands to his hips, pulling him closer as he firmly runs his hand up and down my length.

Not even in my wildest dreams I thought that we could end up like this. I didn't have an idea of how he was behind closed doors so it feels a bit awkward… not enough to want it to end but… I don't know, this is Chris, and his hand is in my fucking cock.

"I don't know" I breathe out, my eyes going down between our bodies to see my hand reaching to touch him too. It does feel glorious, he is hot and hard and all because of me… "To tell you the truth I can't think straight right now" I chuckle, feeling flustered.

He smiles before kissing me again and then we resume what we were doing, drinking from each other and taking whatever the other has to give, the momentum building as we pant and moan against each other.

His hand picked up a steady rhythm and it clouds my mind, all I can think is that he's touching me and that I'm touching him and that if he keeps like that I'll end up making a mess out of his hand.

It's just a hand job, but damn it feels fucking good. I break off the kiss to tell him that, but before I could speak he locks his eyes with mine and utters a strangled moan that sends chills down my spine and directly to my groin. It made me forget what I was about to say and I just focus on his face, noticing the blush that has taken over him and how his eyes are a darker shade of blue.

He is a sight to be seen… with his moist lips parted and his breathing ragged… but then as I watch and feel he swirls me around until I'm pressed against the wall. He grinds against me, one of his hand going to my ass while the other one takes hold of his own cock as well, jerking it with mine and pushing his body to me.

"You keep doing that and I'll cum all over you" I grunt as a warning but he doesn't listen, he goes back to kiss me and before I could stop it my arousal gives a violent jerk in his hand and then I'm spilling everything I have.

I moan and throw my head back, feeling my legs about to give up as my release washes through me; meanwhile both his hands are on me and that just adds to everything.

It wasn't soon after that I feel him tense against me and he moans low in his throat. I hold him, my hands going to his hips and pulling him as close as I can get him, crushing his cock against mine as he lets go too.

The sounds he makes are motivating to say the least, the way his eyes shut and he bites at his lips astounding… I can watch him all day if I could. Of course I could think of a few things we can do all day too, and they involve more than watching.

As we both get back from our high I let out a deep breath, I feel like grinning and I do… closing my eyes as my head rests against the wall behind me. "That was…" Phenomenal… this is the kind of bonding I'd like to repeat many times, maybe a bit more next time.

"It was" Chris breathes out and I open my eyes to him.

"I know…" I mean it wasn't bad for a start. I breathe out, still grinning. I feel sticky, a mix of both our essences… and my hands are still on his hips so I press him closer before capturing his lips with mine.

It wasn't too much after all; it's never too much when it comes to the one you love. Yeah we took a wild turn in our friendship, a big step; we shattered all boundaries as we let ourselves be carried away in a wave of lust and desire.

But it's not all about that, yeah I loved it and I'm sure that as we start to get more into this things behind closed doors will only get better; but it's much more, I love him and he is all I ever wanted. Now my wishful thinking is more of a reality, we can't go back from this, I can't… and I have a feeling, a good feeling that Chris doesn't want to back away from this either.

Yeah, I knew that today was going to be a good day, the best of them all.

~*Fin*~