I decided too keep this one up ;).

Part II: Mary-Sues

Mary sue will always exist, so brace yourselves. However, they're surprisingly rare in Hellsing fanfiction. With this, I mean that browsing through Hellsing fanfics I am not constantly faced with summaries like A mysterious girl shows up blah blah blah, like pretty much everywhere else, from Pirates of the Caribbean through Harry Potter to Eragon. Oh well.

Let's distinguish a few Sues, okay? I'll leave Classic Sue out 'cause you know the rant. I won't state if they're common or rare; I have seen a few sueing around.

Alucard Sue

General: She's a random vampire who loves killing other vampires. Is she bound to any random protestant knight organization which holds round-table meetings and fights against other vampires? Oh, never. She's free and kills vampires because they're evil. For she's a good one, you see.

Romances: Alucard, of course.

Angst: You need that. Give her a horrible childhood and a horrible memory about how she turned into a vamp.

Development: Alucard has to carry off Sir Integra's orders, but her power over him seems not to be enough to take him away on a mission while he's busy undoing Miss Sue's sexy clothes. For she can be hundreds of years old, her clothes are ones that would make Seras' skirt look like baggy pants. They're either in tune with the latest trends, or photocopy Alucard's ones. Ghouls can storm and destroy the Hellsing HQ; Alucard doesn't care. For vampires can lemon around and have kids, ya know.

Redeemable? Originality, sweeties. Then we'll see.

Seras Sue

General: The poor teenage girl is dying, and Alucard's non-existant heart is breaking. It is no matter he had nothing to do with her death; maybe he was just passing by as she choked on a cheeseburger. But nevermind that, he bites her, she gets some extra-short skirt and Sir Integra takes her presence in stride. Now Alucard, Seras and Sue can go kill some vampires.

Romances: Alucard.

Angst: Sue doesn't want to drink blood, obviously, and here comes the perfect opportunity to fill a few chapters with angst. Go you.

Development: If Alucard X Seras is presumed, the police girl either dies and is replaced by Sue (who cries bathtubs of blood over her death), or doesn't care, or mysteriously disappears. There's no need of her any more…

Redeemable? Give Alucard a good reason to bite her, fuck her and marry her. Oh, and try not to kill Seras or steal her personality.

Hellsing Sue

General: GASP! Integra's long lost sister shows up and, as a Hellsing, can control Alucard! Integra is either happy to see her or is brutally killed off.

Romances: Alucard.

Angst: "I have no one in this world!"

Development: "I, as your Master, order you to fuck me!" Then Alucard makes her a vampire, or we don't know.

Redeemable? For God's sake, WHERE CAN YOU SEE A PLOT HERE???!!! The ending is always the same…

Vampire Hunter Sue

General: Some random teenager can beat Alucard in fighting, as she can slay 100 vamps in, like 10 seconds. Probably wields a katana, for, you see, that's oh-so-much-sexier than the Casull or the Jackal. So of course Integra wants her to join them.

Romances: Alucard [Alucard screaming: AGAIN?! My undead cock can't handle all this!!!.

Angst: Vampire hunter teens are usually angsty emos.

Development: Alucard is so amazed by her that he begins following her like some lost (hell)puppy. For she's made leader of the Hellsing forces after she slays a ghoul which randomly walked inside Integra's bedroom at night. Sue wears black leather or something equally cool, but always extremely tight.

Redeemable? …I won't say a straightforward no, but still can hardly see this working.

Fan Sue

General: Miss Sue drools over the manga pages when she is suddenly catapulted inside, right in the arms of her man of choice. So many weird things happen in there, however, that he simply puts her down and carries on with his job, while she screams like mad "I LUUUV YOUUU!!!"

Romances: Mostly Alucard, but it sometimes depends on the organisation. She can fall into Hans Günsche's or Alexander Anderson's arms too, but generally tries to track down Alucard even in these occasions.

Angst: Her parents are divorced and she cries on Alucard's shoulder…

Development: She doesn't get killed, and completely shatters canon for she has read the manga, and know what will happen. So her fave characters don't die, she slays the ones she hates and rules the world alogside her one true love. Oh joy.

Redeemable? If you don't make a clumsy, overweight teenager miraculously turn into an anorexic weapons master, maybe.

A curious type: Outsider Sue

This is a weird Sue type. No matter which fandom, Outsider Sues are extremely rare.

General: By "outsider" I don't mean "alien". An Outsider Sue is placed outside the course of the story. She can live anywhere and have any job, it just mustn't have anything to do with canon. So, in Hellsing, Sue can live anywhere from a skyscratcher in New York to a monastery in Tibet, just not in London, Rome or general Germany. Transylvania is to be avoided as well. She cannot be a vampire hunter, either, or generally have anything in common with too many canon characters.

Romances: Impossible to tell due to rareness.

Angst: Oh, there's always room for that, trust me.

Development: The canon goes by without her interfering. At a certain point, however, she does meet a character – and takes them outside the story. But never joins the action and changes canon.

Redeemable? Absolutely. You're not forcing an unnecessary character inside an existing canon. But – beware! Outsider Sue can fall over the edge if you make the story unbelievable, e.g. she's having a walk outside her cute little house beside the Fujiyama when she runs into Alucard and they shag 'til dawn. That's not Outsider Sue, that's PWP, baby.

Oh, and don't forget: OMG! A CLIFFY!

Author's note: In Hellsing, I'm guilty of three (!) Fan Sues (at least they're all inside the same story, but still...) and one Outsider Sue. Some people told me she was a Sue, but she wouldn't fit into any other category.