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Dance In The Dark
Run, run, his kiss is a vampire grin.
It sparkles like a thousand suns.
And it paints the walls with rainbows.
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It's a heart-shaped locket with a diamond in it's center.
And it dangles from a silver necklace.
It's resting in my open palm, cold and full of promises that will never be kept.
I want to close my fist.
I want to destroy it.
But I can't.
I never can.
"It's beautiful," I say instead.
He smiles at me.
Then he picks up the necklace by the chain and circles behind me.
"I thought you'd like it," he says.
He swings the necklace over my head and lifts it up my collarbone.
The sound the clasp makes when he clicks it together is defeaning.
Another gift.
Another promise.
Another lie.
"I'm really sorry, Yuugi," he whispers in my ear.
He walks back around me so that he can look at me.
"I promise I won't ever hurt you again."
He reaches towards me, and I involuntarily flinch.
But then I feel his fingers adjusting the locket in the center of my chest, right over my heart, and I breathe.
In the next moment, his fingers are under my chin.
He applies pressure, and suddenly my eyes are locked with his.
No where to run.
There never is.
"I promise," he repeats.
I'd heard him the first time.
And I want more than anything to just believe him.
But I don't.
Not anymore.
But that doesn't stop me from smiling up at him.
I wonder what he sees when he looks at me.
I wonder if he sees the same pathetic, weak person I see when I look in the mirror.
I wonder if he knows that I practice my smile – the one I'm giving him now – in the bathroom everyday.
If just so I can fool myself, if nobody else.
I imagine Atem standing in front of me, with his eyes the color of fire.
I pretend that it's him opening up his arms to me.
But it's not.
And it could never be Atem.
Because he could never hurt me.
Not like this.
"I forgive you," I say.
I guess lying is contagious.
Suddenly, his arms wrap around my waist and pull me into a hug.
I try not to cry, as I reach up and touch the locket over my heart.
A possession.
Just like me.
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