Chapter 2

Some people are born with special talents. Some are born in families that have their whole future planned for them. Some are born with no need to figure out what they'll do with their lives, because they don't need to work a single day. Arthur was all of those things – a natural leader, a law student in a family of successful lawyers, and as rich as they come.

Merlin, on the other hand, was none of those things – but he was passionate, inspired and ridiculously good at what he did. He studied a lot, he worked hard, and he had a dream of a better future, and he wouldn't trade it for all of Arthur's easy choices.

When he was a young boy, Merlin had admired and looked up to his uncle Gaius. He dreamed of growing up to be a doctor and take care of everyone around Ealdor. At the age of five, he had his own medical kit – with tonics he prepared himself in the bathroom when no one could see, an old stethoscope and some Band-Aids.

He was eight when it all changed.

For the first – and last – time in Merlin's living memory, Hunith had agreed to go to one of his father's family's celebrations. It was his grandmother's birthday – seventy – and she really wanted her youngest grandchild to be there. The old woman must have used all the emotional tricks in the book, claimed she was too old and wouldn't live long and that she hadn't seen Merlin since he was learning how to walk. Still, his mother didn't agree to go until they all had been adamant that Balinor wouldn't make it – and warning that if she met him, she would come home immediately and they'd never hear about Merlin again.

His parents' relationship (or lack thereof) didn't bother him yet. Merlin knew his father travelled a lot with uncle Killdary, always moving to different parts of the world. Sometimes he'd get a phone call, a few times a year he'd get post cards and trinkets from every place they visited. He didn't even wonder what his father did, or why he moved that much – children hardly ever question these things. He knew his mother couldn't stand his father, but he thought it was because he was never around and kept travelling all year long.

He knew, of course, that his parents had broken up before he was even born – before Hunith even knew she was pregnant – and that they never spoke again. Of course, his mother hadn't told him any of this, but Mrs. Oswin from the bakery was a real gossiper and loved to share her knowledge – but when Merlin asked her why, she scowled and said it was no matter to be discussed with children.

Merlin just thought it was one of those things grown-ups made complicated when they really weren't, just because they didn't really say what was on their mind.

His grandmother's birthday had been a big party, full of people – and children. Although they had never met, Merlin was soon playing freely with his cousins and other kids. They were playing tag, running around, and after many complaints from the older people, moved a bit further from the middle of the party. No one took much notice when they started running further and further – closer to the plastic veil that divided the party area from outside.

Merlin had always being clumsy and hardly ever took notice of important things – and this was how he ran over the plastic veil, running away from one of the other children (Edward was his name, he still remembered the look on his face) to find out there was neither wall nor ground on the other side.

Merlin didn't remember much of the three story fall, it all happened too fast – he registered that there was no ground, and suddenly there was a ground, hitting him hard and stealing his breath, his whole body torn apart in completely unnatural ways.

The worst bit was that he didn't faint – at least not for long – and he could hear the screams of his cousins, the desperation of the adults, his mother's unreasonable accusations that this was his grandmother's fault, that she was right to have stayed away from them all along, the sound of the sirens coming for him.

Inside the ambulance hadn't been so bad – except for his mother sobbing. They gave him something for the pain, and drove him to the nearest hospital, where the doctors asked a number of questions and carried out loads of tests. Soon enough they took him to a different room and asked him to take a deep breath into a machine sending air and he knew nothing more.

When Merlin woke up, he registered considerable pain in many parts of his body. Soon he learned he couldn't move his legs that had been cast and were hanging in something he couldn't quite see. His head was also bandaged, and he had an enormous headache.

Hunith noticed soon that he was awake, and the doctor came to ask more questions about how he was feeling and explained to him what exactly had happened. He had broken both legs in several places, but luckily, the fall hadn't destroyed anything inside him. He had also bumped his head quite hard, and they had to open it to stop it from bleeding too much. Dr. Noreen assured that the headache would get better soon, but when he asked about his legs, his face said more than enough.

Merlin would have to stay at the hospital for quite a while – weeks. And even after that, he wouldn't be walking for a long, long time – years, maybe, if he did manage to walk again.

Another child might have sulked, but Merlin merely accepted it as his due for his own idiocy. Hunith was still crying, and uncle Gaius was talking about the advancements of medicine, and how he might turn out alright.

Two days later, he woke up to the sound of someone different sitting on his bedside. He was surprised to see that it was his father, with a look of deep worry in his face. Uncle Kilgare was by his side, and gave Merlin an enigmatic smile.

They talked for a bit, and he apologized for taking too long – while Merlin quickly pointed out he wasn't going anywhere anytime soon – and moved on to talk about their lives since they had last spoke.

Uncle Kilgare was in the middle of a funny story about their visit to the Dominican Republic when his mother arrived – she had gone home to wash and pick up some clothes – and all hell broke loose.

"Get this pervert away from my child" was her first sentence – and Merlin was shocked to hear usually calm Hunith talking in such fashion. She was pale with anger, and gesturing to the nurses. "I didn't give them leave to come."

"He's the father" said the poor confused girl. "Surely…"

"Fine!" she said sternly. "But I won't have this O'Garrah pervert anywhere near my son."

"Hunith…" started his father, but she didn't even look at him – she was staring at uncle Kilgare with murder in her eyes.

"Out. Out of here! How dare you? After everything? Wasn't it enough? You want to steal my son was well?"

Merlin was deeply confused, but Uncle Kilgare seemed to stay calm and spoke with his usual voice.

"You're not being sensible Hunith. I have told you before, I never wished to cause you harm in any way. Some bonds can't be denied, and even if I tried to fight against it, I couldn't."

"A bit rich coming from the man who stole my husband" she spitted, and Merlin gasped. She looked at her son horrified, and ran, holding him close and trying to close his rather large ears and if it would prevent him from listening. "Leave and never come near my son again. As you said yourself, O'Garrah, some bonds can't be denied and I'll do anything to avoid Merlin having to deal with people like you."

Uncle Kilgare left without another word, but giving Merlin a wink that made Hunith even angrier. She kept on shooing him as he left and that earned them a serious telling off from the Head Nurse, who wasn't amused at all at this little family reunion.

Balinor had apologized profusely and left soon, promising Merlin to stay in touch. The boy was absolutely pissed off with his mother, he had been really happy to see his father other than a strained visit during the Christmas holidays – which made his headache come back and Dr. Noreen lecturing his mother about how she should keep her head leveled not to harm her son further.

Which, at least, made Merlin feel a bit better about himself before dozing off to a blessed sleep fuelled by painkillers.

His initial acceptance of the situation didn't last long – soon the cast begun to make him itchy and he felt annoyed at having to stay in bed all the time. It made him feel like a big baby, using diapers, being changed, and all those small indignities. He wasn't small enough for them not to hurt and wasn't mature enough to accept them.

Merlin was about to burst when he was introduced to Dr. Annis, fifteen days into his hospital stay. She soon began to work into helping Merlin to stretch and move, light things at first, then increasing the difficulty of the tasks. Merlin heard that Annis was the Queen of Physiotherapy in the area, and she certainly behaved as one. She was patient, but stern; demanding, but kind.

She stood by Merlin's side for the whole process – through his weeks at the hospital, urging him to sit by himself, to strengthen his arms, and to do many things he had always taken for granted before the accident. Hunith stood by her son for the first few weeks, until it became clear that he'd have a long time before being able to go home – so she quit her job and came to work in the laundry across from the hospital. She'd come by every day before and after work, and rented the flat on the top of the laundry to be closer to her son, since she wasn't allowed to stay with him at the hospital overnight – Merlin never saw the flat, but from what he was told, it was a matchbox packed with fleas.

It took him the best part of five months to get the cast taken off for good, for there were many complications with his fractures, and even then he couldn't possibly stand. He'd spend a few more months in a wheel-chair. Although he'd be able to go home, he'd still be seeing Dr. Annis quite often. For the first sessions, she came over to his house – and afterwards, Gaius' would drive him to her office.

It wasn't quite an office; more like a big playhouse of physiotherapy (Merlin wished he'd have one like that one day). Annis never stopped believing in him, even when it took him longer than usual to get back to standing. She encouraged him to walk, even if it seemed that his legs didn't know how to do it anymore. When Merlin was moody or feeling like he'd never be able to run again, she'd talk to him and tell him stories of other people she treated. He even got to meet some of them, when everyone gathered for an early Christmas party.

On Boxing Day his father turned up, alone. His mum had known he was coming, and he was alone with Gaius for the duration of the visit. It was much later than the time they had set when Balinor finally showed up – Merlin had been afraid that he'd bail after the fight with his mother in the hospital. When Gaius opened the door to show Balinor – damp from the snow and looking thoroughly sorry to be late, Merlin forgot himself and tried go to his father. He didn't make it, but he took his first step after the surgery, which was a cause for general celebration. Even his mother found it in her to wish Balinor a good night as he hastily left after her arrival.

Soon enough Merlin was walking again, using crutches, but Annis wasn't ready to let him go. She found him knew challenges, taking him to the playground across her house for 'special exercise' – walking on the sand of the playground, using the swing by himself, climbing on the jungle gym, playing on the teeter-totter, and many other activities he had forgotten how much he loved. She didn't discharge him from her care until she saw him beating one of the playground kids in a run during tag, the crutches forgotten in the floor.

Merlin was healed – and even more than that: he had found his life's ambition.

He had been touched by how thoroughly Dr. Annis had taken care of him, by her dedication. And he knew that it wasn't only about Merlin, it was her duty, she'd say, to make each one of them heal: the children with broken bones, the ones that had defects, the old ladies and the young men. He had loved the idea of being able to fix people like Gaius did, but this was something else entirely: he wouldn't just patch them up and send them home to try and come back to their normal lives, he'd be ready to stick around for the whole process, helping them until they were as if nothing had ever happened, the way Annis had stuck with him until the very end.

Of course, as he grew up, he realized that he couldn't always do that, and the more he studied in the university, the limitations of his chosen career became more and more obvious, but it never diminished his passion or his wish to work with physiotherapy – it just made him want to find new, better ways to help people.

That was what Merlin was about, really.

Even long after he was healed, he still stopped by Annis' house to catch up or to entertain patients with his life story. It was also a refuge when the hard teen years came, and he realized exactly what his mother had meant when she said that Killgare had stolen her husband and how much she despised his father for loving another man.

Annis talked to him thoroughly about it, about how sometimes people had a hard time accepting other people's lifestyles, or how his mother was most likely bitter about losing her husband. When Merlin got angry at his father because he'd left his pregnant mother, she smacked his head and reminded him that he hadn't even known about Merlin and that if he had stayed, all of them would have been miserable, leading a life of lies that would inevitably lead to more pain than the one they had.

She was the only person in the world, save Arthur, who knew that Merlin liked boys. Annis had dealt with her fair share of his crises when he first fell for a (obviously straight and absolutely unattainable) boy – and even more of those when he found himself fancying a girl next. She had been the one to explain to him that he wasn't insane – or a nymphomaniac – but a normal person with normal feelings.

It was hard to come to terms with not being straight when his mother wouldn't even want to hear a word about the subject. Whenever there was something on the news about the pride parade or some LGBT movement, she'd change channels and complain about how it was taking time and money out of "things that are important for normal people".

Deep down he knew that his mother didn't exactly hate gay people – she just rather pretend they didn't exist. She didn't change when one of her friend's daughter came out of the closet and brought a girlfriend back from University for the over the Christmas holidays, but she really had a hard time dealing with the fact that she was known in Ealdor as the woman that was left by her husband for another man – an older man at that, since Killgare was around ten years older than Hunith and Balinor.

Teen years had been confusing and hard, struggling to deal with his sexual impulses in silence, the awkward conversations with his father where he tried to explain to Merlin what had happened, and the even more awkward fumbling with Emily Dane, his middle school girlfriend, and weird snogs with boys when he went in field trip to Manchester only to discover the pleasures of Canal Street and how it was to have actual sex with an actual man during High School only to find himself falling head over hills with a new girl, Lucy Pond, in his final year, and enjoying every little thing they did together, sexual or not.

Most kids in his position would have felt better when leaving the small town of Ealdor, deep in the Lake District, to the distant town of Caerleon, near Cardiff. Most kids would have experimented, told people about it, and tried a number of possibilities.

But none of them had his complicated history and a sick mother back at home. All the stress of her life and family history had taken its toll, and her kidney failure had advanced beyond her years (she even blessed Balinor for having granted her son perfect kidneys, the one positive thing she said about him in all those years). Merlin just didn't have the heart to tell her about himself – and become a major disappointment – then. Probably she wouldn't even understand, since he clearly had enjoyed his fair share of girls. Merlin had thought he could deal with that – for a while, for she didn't have that long – and then he'd still have all the time in the world and no one would be hurt.

Then he met Arthur – who was perfect, annoying, a complete prat and very much into Merlin. They had lived in the same halls in their first year, and Arthur pestered him and teased him until the last night of term, after a huge amount of unadvised drinking, he had given in to him and snogged him senseless inside his room. Thankfully, his roommate was more than busy with his girlfriend that night, and didn't arrive in time to find the room in a complete disarray, and Merlin had gotten rid of the worst of the sex smell that seemed to cling everywhere – not that Gwaine would have noticed, since he smelled exactly the same by the time he came around, late into the next afternoon and decided to share with Merlin his amazing experience with group sex.

He thought it would come to nothing – they'd change accommodation the next year anyway since the building was finally being refurbished, but destiny had other ideas. Arthur got hold of his email somehow (the man had his ways, Merlin had to grant him that) and they spent the whole summer emailing each other, which led to texting, which led to sexting. And sooner than he would have believed, Merlin had fallen in love with the ridiculous prat and told him everything.

Arthur was the out and proud kind of guy, but how much he had grown to care for Merlin as well was obvious by his acceptance of the situation. When they came back, they would meet in secret, and Merlin thought it added something spicy to the relationship. If they met in public, they wouldn't even acknowledge each other, until they happened to meet in the bathroom and have some kinky sex in a stall.

His new room proved to be a blessing, and gave him some of the best friends he could hope for – namely Gwen and Will – but even they had no idea about Arthur or even knew him more than in passing, as one of the guys from the Rainbow Table. Arthur managed to find himself a room that he didn't need to share (as only money can find), in which they met often at the most ridiculous times and under various increasingly insane excuses.

Almost four years later, Merlin couldn't regret a thing. They had been together for the good and the bad, and supported each other even if no one else knew about it. They shared an intimacy, their relationship wasn't dictated by pressures from outside, and Merlin quite liked it that way.

Just sometimes – late at night, after they had talked and shagged and cuddled, Arthur already fast asleep – he couldn't help but thinking that Annis would smack his head if she saw him now.

Merlin woke up to the sounds of a mess being made in his kitchen. For all Arthur's faults, none bothered him as much as his boyfriend being a morning person. He walked through the tiny flat, still scratching his eyes, to find Arthur happily turning an omelette on the frying pan as if it were a pancake.

"G'morning" he said, and Arthur turned to him, smiling.

"A very fine morning indeed! There's something that resembles the sun outside, I toasted some bread, made a cheese omelette and also" he added, as if it were a special treat "real orange juice from real oranges, unlike that crime you have in your fridge. You still have time for a quick shower and breakfast before you have to take the bus."

Merlin just groaned, moving back inside. It should be a crime to be so chirpy in the morning. It was the kind of thing that made him sure that he and Arthur could never live together, or he would literally kill him in a week. He just knew that his kitchen would be turned upside down and filled with leftovers of used oranges, broken egg shells and tiny bits of onion and cheese in the sink.

Once upon the time, he had found it surprising that Arthur could cook at all, before discovering that his abilities were limited to incredibly Americanised breakfasts and home cooked pasta – and by home cooked pasta Arthur meant actually making it and leaving the whole place under a fine crust of flour, and it didn't even taste like pasta. Thankfully, once they were close enough, Merlin had told him that and Arthur stopped trying to cook it – but breakfasts were still his speciality.

He showered as quickly as he could in the scalding hot water and chose his clothes without trusting much on Arthur's idea of having something like sun outside – it was January, for God's sake – he actually hoped there wasn't any, or some of the ice would melt and the accidents on campus would multiply to the point where everyone that had any business working in the University Hospital would end up dealing with them.

As he made it back to the kitchen, he felt considerably more awake and less annoyed with the mess Arthur had made. He sat on the table and looked sadly at the food for a few seconds.

"Wait for the final touch" said Arthur, coming with another plate and a mug, which he set in front of Merlin. He stared at it, amazed.

"I can't believe you made tea."

"You like to take it early" said Arthur, shrugging. "Milk and sugar as well."

"I'm properly scared," said Merlin, looking at him. "Tea and beans on toast. You must have done something really bad."

Arthur chuckled at that, and sat himself in front of Merlin.

"As I said, it's a fine morning, and I've been awake for a while. You didn't have any oranges – I got them from the apartment and came back for breakfast."

Merlin didn't have the heart to look guilty about that – he had arrived only yesterday, and it had been quite late so he had gone straight to campus and just bought a few things on his way back.

"You don't even have to be there until half past ten," said Merlin, sipping his tea. "I can't see why you didn't stay in bed for longer."

"You were asleep," said Arthur, accusingly. "And drooling all over the pillow."

"I wasn't drooling!"

"You were."

"Was not."

"Were."

"At least I wasn't snoring," said Merlin, throwing a crumb of bread at Arthur.

"I don't snore!"

"Yes, you do."

"I do not."

"You always snored. I taped it, remember?"

"You don't have time for this" Arthur replied, pointing to the watch. "Your bus will be here in five."

"Shit" he said, standing up and taking the rest of the tea in one gulp.

"I can't come over tonight" said Arthur, looking as he gathered his stuff. "We're taking Owain to a pub as a goodbye from the team. I'll see you tomorrow, ok?"

Merlin screwed up his face at that.

"I can't tomorrow – Gwen set up a date for me."

Arthur laughed at that.

"I hope it's better than the last one."

"Jesus, if it manages to be worse, I think I'll go straight to your building through the front door," said Merlin, picking his keys and leaning to kiss Arthur.

"Have a good day" he said, straightening his boyfriend's shirt, and Merlin beamed.

"I spent the night with you; it'll give me strength if it isn't."

"Don't be such a girl, Merlin" said Arthur, and Merlin laughed on his way out.

It was nearly lunch time when Merlin finally found the time to do what he had been wanting to do since his talk with Arthur last night. He knocked on the door of the Hospital's Chief and waited to be told to come in.

As soon as he walked inside, he regretted his decision. Nimueh didn't seem to be in one of the best moods, and looked at him from under her reading glasses as if wondering why she should entertain a physiotherapy student – honestly, Merlin thought that if she hadn't studied under Gaius back before he was born, she'd have sent him out immediately.

"Sit" she said, and went back to looking at her papers for a few moments. Merlin fidgeted with his sleeves nervously, wondering why the hell he was even there. Nimueh stopped what she was doing and dropped the pen onto the desk, leaning on her chair and facing Merlin directly.

"To what do I own the pleasure of your visit? Holiday greetings from Gaius?"

Merlin squirmed under her look for a few seconds before finding his voice.

"It's just… Something I heard about."

She narrowed her eyes at him.

"Go on?"

"It's… About Edwin Murdoch."

She rolled her eyes at that, and waited for him to say more.

"I've heard in campus that he went to the Rainbow Table last night and attacked some of their staff?"

Nimueh puffed in anger at that, and then eyed him again.

"I didn't think you attended such places."

"I don't," he answered hastily. "But you know my friend Gwen? She's dating this engineering guy, Lance? And he's responsible for a number of organizations…"

"Not the Rainbow Table, I assume, since he's dating Smith?" she said, her patience running short.

"No" agreed Merlin. "But as he did his beginning of term paperwork with the campus security, he heard them talking about it – it seems they had to take him out and kept an eye on Pendragon for his own safety until he left campus last night."

Nimueh looked positively delighted for a moment.

"I see. It's a pity Edwin didn't seriously damage the Pendragon spawn" she said, matter-of-factly.

"Dr. Lake!" Merlin was utterly shocked.

"Uther deserved it" she spitted, angrily "to have his son at my mercy."

Merlin chose not to say anything – clearly Nimueh had her share of problems with the Pendragon family, but it was none of his business.

"I just think it reflects badly on us as a whole," said Merlin, softly. "We're supposed to help all people, and then one of our Residents decides to attack someone?"

Nimueh eyed him quietly, analysing him. It felt as if she could see through him, but her only answer was a nod.

"I wouldn't want people to think that we're taking a hypocrisy oath here instead of a Hippocratic one," he added.

Nimueh's face showed exactly what she thought about his pun.

"I'll talk to him about it" she said, and Merlin knew that if Edwin had disliked him before, he'd hate him now. There wasn't a single person in the hospital – hell, probably in campus – that didn't fear Nimueh. Even the Dean seemed to go out of his way to please her.

"Thank you, Dr. Lake."

Merlin stood up to leave, and had his back to her and his hand on the door when she spoke again.

"I find it endearing that you are worrying about your father's causes" her voice implied that she didn't really believe it to be the case. "Just remember, Merlin, that since they aren't yours, your loyalty is to us."

"Yes, ma'am" he said, looking at her from upon his shoulder.

"You better not spread the rumour in the hospital, unless you want to find yourself in trouble."

He actually gulped at that, and Nimueh smiled, softly.

"Don't worry, I'll deal with Edwin and his terrible behaviour, and make sure it will never happen again. Now, run along. I'm sure you have somewhere else to be that is not in my office talking about things that do not concern you."

Merlin left quickly, not wanting to spend any more time than necessary in the room. He could see Nimueh looking at him through the glass walls as he left, and swore to himself that he would never – ever – talk about the Rainbow Table again. He'd rather not give Nimueh any reason to wonder about his sexuality more than she already did.