Penelope laid awake in her bed, restless and nervous about the previous moments of her evening. She remembered her well rehearsed speech, her nervousness, her fears. She remembered Derek's kind eyes, warm voice and heart stopping smile. She remembered his words, his convictions and his vows.
But she mostly remembered his kiss.
The way his lips felts upon hers was like sending her soul into orbit. Like two magnets finding their way home, Penelope Garcia could safely say she had never felt more complete than in that moment with him. The way he kissed her made her feel like a goddess, like she was his universe. She knew it was in the heat of the moment, but she had never felt more wanted or more beautiful.
She turned over in bed and stared at her Mickey and Minnie Mouse alarm clock on her night stand. The numbers were bright between their heart shaped face. 2:27AM. She couldn't find comfort in sleep. She was still in disbelief.
In a huff, she rolled over on her back and stared at her star covered ceiling. She could place blame on the previous tenants for the stars, but she grew to like them when the nights seemed far too lonely. As she stared at the glowing ceiling, she allowed the seriousness of her new reality to wash over her. She was on the right road to becoming a mother. By the coming year, if all biological forces allowed, she would have her own miracle in her arms. A miracle made by her and her best friend: Special Agent Derek Morgan, FBI Profiler, Chocolate Love God and unknown keeper of her heart.
Penelope began reflecting on their very long and bumpy friendship. She remembered the beginning where flirting was new and exciting territory for the two of them. She thought about his unconscious intimate touches he placed upon her body when they worked the bombing case involving Bale, Gideon's greatest mistake. Her mind took her to their light and sexy phone calls and spontaneous movie nights. She chuckled remembering all the times she had watched him dance in a bar, growing hungry for him as he trapped women into his seduction. Her most treasured thoughts lied in the safety of being held in his arms and how she knew that she loved him, even back then.
Then Battle happened. She knew he said he loved her. She also knew he meant it as if he was talking to Sarah, Desiree, Emily or JJ. She was his sister, his closet confidant, his best friend. He never made a move toward her and in her time of vulnerability after being shot, she needed to be desired. She needed that sense of want. What she fell into was a comfortable and safe relationship with the tech known as Kevin Lynch. He wasn't Derek, but he kept the evenings less lonely.
Their distance was soon too prominent to ignore. It came in three forms, Agent Jordan Todd, his promotion and Tamara Barnes. Todd was less of a threat, as the new agent's eyes kept glancing over at the mature stallion, Agent David Rossi. However, Penelope couldn't help but feel the familiar flame of jealously flare inside her when her Derek would flash the beautiful agent his killer smile, a smile she wished to believe he saved for her.
His promotion was unavoidable. After Haley's tragic death, it was only natural for Derek to take over. He was strong, capable and a natural leader. His chocolate god status was not due to his perfect body alone. His innate ability to command authority in a room left her speechless and wanting. While this position seemed to be perfect for him, her heart broke a little each case as their nicknames became memories and phone calls from him were fleeting and far between.
Then Tamara happened. She was beautiful, professional and physically breathtaking. She was the sister to a victim who was vulnerable and was searching for her knight in shining armor to provide her security and answers. Derek fit the bill and he satisfied her needs. Penelope knew that she was selfish to tell him that his involvement with her was inappropriate. As much as she wished she could say she was looking out for the best interests of the case, she wasn't. She was looking out for one of the remaining pieces of her broken heart. If he moved on with Tamara, her heart would cease to beat with the same meaning. Penelope worked hard to keep the tears at bay when he kept his distance from her after that case. She told Emily to be the source of her calls. She couldn't handle hearing his voice without him breaking her in two.
When things seemed to be at their darkest, a case in Alaska seemed to lead them out of their funk. She rejoiced when she felt him near her, protecting her from the evils surrounding them. Looking into his eyes that cold morning and seeing nothing but love and loyalty seemed to heal her broken and jaded heart. The touch of his hands upon her face seemed to mend the scars within her soul and the brush of his lips upon her forehead sent her in a tornado of love she hadn't felt in so long. It was in that moment that she knew she couldn't be with Kevin any longer. Perfection was holding her in his arms in that moment. She would rather have an eternity of being single being his best friend than settling for someone she didn't love entirely and risk losing her Derek completely.
The next few months were filled with cases, some darker than others. However, what didn't change was her love for him. In his angriest moments, she remembered to be his light and guide him home safely back in her eyes and arms.
Yet, as she would spend her times watching young Henry or Jack, she realized that being his best friend wasn't the only thing she needed to keep her happy. She needed something else, someone who would love her forever. Penelope had wanted children for so long. After losing JJ to the pentagon, she realized that life could change in the blink of an eye. If Penelope Garcia wanted a child, she would need to do it for herself instead of waiting for what could be.
She had feared his reaction when she told him she wanted to have a baby of her own. Penelope had anticipated his anger, his resentment, and his denial. His reaction was one that came in her most secret fantasies. When he told her he wanted to be the father of her child, she felt her heart leap to her throat and her stomach plummet to her feet, not out of disappointment, but disbelief. She registered the determination in his eyes. As she stared at him and listened to the explanation of his purpose, she recalled how distraught he was after he had to let Ellie go be with her mother. This baby would be Derek's chance to be the father he wanted to be for her, even if he didn't know how to say the words.
Sighing, she rolled over to her other side and looked at her most precious possession. It was a photo of the two of them at Rossi's large house for the first christmas party he hosted since joining the BAU. The evening was full of laughter and eggnog and, to her relief, Kevin had decided to visit his family that weekend. The theme for Rossi's party was ugly holiday sweaters and, to the team's relief, Penelope had a large collection of bizarre sweaters. Hers had light up reindeer and Derek's had a drunk santa on the front. After a few cups of egg nog, Derek had pulled her in a warm embrace and was kissing her temple periodically. He murmured incoherent things to her due to her own drunkenness, but was grateful for his strong frame to hold her upright. Reid had been fiddling with a new Polaroid camera he received in the white elephant gift exchange when the best friends turned and posed for the young profiler. She had forgotten that moment until she went to Ester the next morning and found the picture underneath her windshield wiper with a note saying "You're Welcome and Merry Christmas - Boss Man" on the back. She treasured the photo the moment she received it and quickly framed it, keeping it by her bedside always.
Now she pulled the picture close to her and began stroking her best friend's face, taking in his fun and resilience. However, her heart sped up in fear when her thoughts drifted to the possibility of him leaving. She had prepared herself to raise this future baby alone, but now that it would be Derek's child, her love for the soon-to-be-created human tripled and her fears about her best friend began to scare her. She knew he didn't like to settle down, and babies need consistency. Would he be with her for all the pregnancy drama? What if he meets someone he really wants to settle down with and leaves her and their baby to be with her? What if she decides to tell him that she loves him and he runs, leaving her and their baby behind? Her heart began to race and tears escaped her eyes as these dark scenarios filled her mind.
In a moment of desperation, she grabbed her phone and pressed 2 on her speed dial. As one hand clutched her phone tightly, the other gripped her pillow tightly, hoping her tears would cease once she heard his voice.
"Now, what is my baby girl calling me for at 2:53 AM when we have to be bright eyed and bushy tailed, as she would say, the next morning for work?"
She took a shaky breath and she heard his tone of voice go from humorous to serious in a millisecond. "Penelope..."
"Derek, I'm so scared."
After a brief second of silence, he answered her, "Sweetness, babies are huge. They are something to be scared of. To love and be excited for, yes, but to be afraid of as well."
"What if you meet someone while we are raising this baby and you realize that a life with her would be so much more satisfying than what we have? You would have every right to want to live a life with a woman you love instead of just your best friend, my Prince, but what if you want to leave our future child? What would we do then?"
"Hey, hey, motor mouth, slow your roll," he said, halting her from this new rant. "Baby girl, I promise you I won't be leaving you or our child."
"How can you be so sure?" she asked, sad tears falling down her face.
"Because I promised you, silly girl," he said with a smile. "Remember my promise to you in Alaska? I promised to be there with you every day of my life reminding you of the beauty in life. What a better reminder than us and our one day gorgeous child?"
Penelope smiled at the memory of Alaska and smiled more when thinking of their baby. Was it going to be a little girl who looked like her with his piercing eyes, or would it a be a little boy who looked like a clone of his father but had her passion for computers and mischief? Would they run to her or Derek more? Who would wake up to change them in the night? Who would sing them to sleep? What would their smile look like? Were her dreams really coming true?
"Are you still with me Goddess?" she heard Derek say over the phone softly.
With a chuckle, she wiped away her now dry tears and replied, "Yes, my prince, Mama is here and have found exhaustion after relief once she talked to her Noir Hero."
He laughed and she realized she loved the sound of his laugh. She hoped their son would have his laugh. "You think you can sleep now, Mama?" he asked.
Placing their photo back on her nightstand, she answered, "Yeah, Daddy, I think I can."
"I can come over in a heart beat, woman," he said in all seriousness.
"I'm okay, Daddy, and besides, if you come by, baby making time would be in this moment with no sense of planning or romance. That is just unfair to do to a future Morgan clone."
He hummed as she knew he would be soon drift to sleep. "Okay Mama, whatever you say."
"Derek," she whispered, looking back up at her ceiling.
"Yes, Penelope."
"I love you, you know that right?" she whispered, new tears clouding her eyes.
She sensed him smiling as he answered, "I love you too, future mamacita. Now go to sleep."
Closing her phone and placing it on her bedside, she allowed sleep to consume her, as images of their possible babies filled her unconscious mind and a smile crossed her face.