Boo! Here's chapter 2... yeh, i know farm animals was random and it probably didn't work too well... did i mention the replacing cussing with random words was the doing of Art is a Bang XD? Well... i case i haven't here it is...

I DO NOT OWN NARUTO...

Thanks to all those who reviewed so far-

Neutral Confusion for being my first reviewer!

Art is a Bang XD thanks for the constructive critics, yeah, i use word (can't live without spell-check!)

Wait.What, Thanks for telling me about the carnivour thing, i fixed it.

Chapter 2- The Grand Opening (Theme for Hidan's swearing- farm animals)

The sun rose into the sky, sending the crescent moon on its way. The birds twittered, sending their artful song into the Naruto-world...

"BIRDS ARE NOT ARTFUL!! EXCEPT FOR THE CLAY ONES I MAKE THAT BLOW UP, UN!!" An angered Deidara yelled from behind the stage curtains which depicted a calming scene of trees and birds flying in the sky-blue sky, ummm... what other colour would the sky be? To add to the peaceful picture, there was a birds twittering morning theme playing in the background.

The authoress ignored the bomb artist's comment and continued on...

That was... until the Akatsuki woke. Kisame had awoken hours before everyone else, in order reserve a spot for Itachi at the bathroom door. Tobi being so hyper could not stay in bed and bounded out like a rubber bouncy-ball. Hidan was the next to wake, accidently stepping on one of Kakuzu's sewing needles and swearing loudly, waking up his partner. Itachi didn't sleep much and had actually woken before the rest of the Akatsuki, but he wasn't bothered getting up from bed so he laid there, staring at the ceiling and thinking of his dear brother, until he got a headache and decided to finally get changed. Deidara was last to wake, as he needed his beauty sleep. Zetzu, Leader and Konan don't count because Zetzu has a greenhouse that isn't really part of the house but was in the garden and the leader and co-leader had their own private bathrooms and didn't really have to queue up for the one that the rest of the members shared.

When Deidara was finally done doing his hair, which took like almost an hour, he joined the others downstairs. The others were having a breakfast of cheap generic brand cereal (how boring), as Kakuzu didn't allow anything else as it was too 'expensive'.

After cleaning up the mess they made during the food fight in breakfast, they had a shower. Getting involved in a food fight can get highly messy. That took a long time too considering the fact that Deidara spent almost 2 hours in the shower cleaning the milk out of his hair, apparently milk wasn't the greatest fertilizer ever, according to Zetzu. Kakuzu pissed everyone off badly by complaining how much money they wasted in the food fight, while they waited for the girly blonde to finish.

"That was 13 boxes of cow cereal you pigs wasted this horse morning!" Kakuzu hollered, sounding almost as worse as Hidan.

"Tobi is hungry!" Tobi put in innocently.

"See all that money wasted and you are still bull hungry!"

"Shut the duck up! No one cares about your lamb money anyway!" Hidan yelled, if possible louder than Kakuzu.

"But everybody loves money!" Kakuzu said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"People don't give a piglet about your horse money!"



"Of course they do!"

There was a bang and Deidara finally walked out of the bathroom with his hair wrapped up in a towel (sadly, the bang was the sound of a closing door and not one that is blowing up) "Ummm..." Deidara poked Kakuzu "it's your turn, un."

Muttering under his breath (about money... what else?) Kakuzu slammed the door of the bathroom shut.

Once all the cleaning up was completed, the Akatsuki moved on to preparing for the store, Hidan and Kakuzu was in charge of putting price tags on the items (he wouldn't trust anybody else). Tobi volunteered, thinking that drawing tonnes of zeros and putting up ridiculous prices would be fun.

It was noon until the Akatsuki's garage sale was ready to go; problem was no one was willing to tend to it, turns out that the Akatsuki are just plain lazy.

"Itachi, Kisame you two do it," ordered Pein calling out the names of the first pair he saw

"Hell no," the sharky-looking man growled in a shark-like voice, even thought sharks don't talk.

Itachi simply glared.

Pein glared.

Itachi glared.

Pein glared back.

The Akatsuki got freaked out.

"Ummm... come on Itachi, let's just do it, at least it means that we don't have to do so later," Kisame was getting creeped out by the overload of glaring, so was the rest of the Akatsuki.

Itachi glared and then turned to follow his partner.

Dust-balls bounced outside the Akatsuki hideout, the streets were empty. No one was out. Itachi and Kisame sighed; it was going to be a long shift. Hours grew by and still there was no one in sight, there would be the occasional car driving by, but the people inside ignored the strange looking men sitting amongst the debris of a garage with tables out in front of them. Well, no... To tell the truth most passer-bys were too afraid of the beings to confront them and see whatever they were doing.

Kisame tried getting families out of their cars by waving to them as they past, but somehow that just made them drive away faster. Kisame being stupid had no idea why.

"Damn you two, it's all your fault no one comes, you're just too ugly!" an angry Kakuzu shouted from inside the Akatsuki hideout. The Akatsukis were watching the pair the whole time and after the 37th car passed without stopping, Kakuzu couldn't hold his rage in anymore.

"Hey, watch who your calling ugly!" came the Uchiha.



"Well, you don't smile enou..." Kakuzu's voice trailed off as a picture of a happy, smiling Itachi invaded his mind, "Screw that, you two suck! Kisame, you really need to see a dentist, your teeth are just too imposing for good business"

"I...I'm ss-scared of t-the dentist..."

"I'd like to see you try do better." Itachi growled, pulling the stuttering Kisame towards him into a comforting and protective hug.

"Fine then I will!"

"Oi, you rooster, this means we have to chicken work" called Hidan, who was also listening to the conversation. In fact so was everyone else.

"Well then, that's settled, Hidan and Kakuzu, you're on for tomorrow morning," came the voice of Pein, before anyone else could argue.

Tobi tugged at his Senpai's sleave, "When does Tobi get a turn?"

Deidara banged his head against the wall, so hard that a bump appeared on his head. "Tobi, YOU DON'T WANNA WORK, UN!!"

"I don't?"

"Yes, you don't, un" Deidara strode away from the annoying pest.

"How do you know?" Tobi responded, running after the blonde.

"I just do, un" Deidara quickened his pace.

"Oh, so you mean that your physic?

"Yeah, whatever, un" Deidara lied, anything would do to get rid of the orange basketball head.

"Errr... Tobi you might want to leave your Senpai now," Konan put in, trying to prevent Deidara blowing anything or one up. The cost of repairs would be just too expensive for the likes of Kakuzu.

Hidan and Kakuzu were kicked out of the house and forced to sell the crap they had. They too had the same luck as the shark and weasel. Until...

"Umm... sirs how much is this?"

Kakuzu looked up from his Icha Icha Paradise novel. He was actually surprised that someone actually wanted to buy something. But before he could speak Hidan butted in.

"Can't you Rooster read? Gosh you Pony you're almost as blind as donkey Itachi over there."

Itachi growled, "I am not blind!" he said to a brick wall, literally.

"Itachi-san, you might want to turn around," whispered Kisame, turning his partner to face him.



Outside an angered woman shouted, "You kids should show more respect for others, how do you expect someone to do business with you otherwise?!" With that she stomped off and back into her car.

"I am not a kid... I am 300 years old..." Kakuzu muttered to no one in particular, then turning to his partner, "You should listen to her advice, show some respect to your elders, like me, how else are we gonna make money? You sent off our first customer in 2 days!"

"She said others not elders. Anyways you should respect Jashin by doing so you will gain immortality!"

"I already have immortality...almost..." muttered Kakuzu

That night the Akatsuki had a dinner of Mc Donald's, not the healthiest of choices, and they sat in silence, until Pein brought up the subject of the garage sale.

"How much did we make today?" the leader voiced his question to Kakuzu.

"What do you mean, un?"

"Tobi made 3 cookies, 5 muffins and 7 banana splits for a snack today" Deidara looked almost a little astounded the idiot before him could cook... and eat all that in a day.

"Oh, I made 7 paper swans, 13 flowers and a rather large vase for the flowers."

Kakuzu being Kakuzu had his thoughts fly immediately to money, "Nothing..." He was sulking at the amount of money... or lack of, that they had made today after all that effort.

Feeling saddened the Akatsuki trudged up the stairs into their own rooms, leaving Kisame doing the dishes that Itachi was meant to do, but forced him to do them for him, if it made sense.

"Ummm... are we, by any chance going to continue selling stuff tomorrow, un? I mean we still have stuff left." Deidara felt the urge to ask, although he didn't really plan Sasori's memorial to turn out like how it did and he didn't really care about how much money they made, he felt disheartened that they made nothing. He wanted to give his idea another chance.

Kakuzu brightened slightly at the sound of the question, another chance to make money, it was worth another shot. "Can we?"

Pein thought for a second, "Well why not, except Deidara as it was your idea you can work tomorrow, Tobi can help you."

Tobi whooped, "Yay! Tobi gets to work! With Deidara-Senpai too! Isn't Tobi lucky?!"

Deidara slumped back down; working with Tobi was definitely not part of the plan. "Isn't Dei-Senpai unlucky?" He muttered to himself.

I'll give cookies if you review... The authoress is not at fault if the cookies are poisionous... it is Sasori's doing (i noe he is dead). Oh did i mention Deidara baked them?