Author's Note: Starts around Quinn, eventual Faberry. Set between Seasons 2-3. Beginning is kind of based off of some feelings I've had recently. Enjoy?
Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or any of its characters.
Absolutely Perfect
Quinn was so tired.
Not tired because she didn't get any sleep the previous night, although that did play a part of it. But she was exhausted.
Tired of trying to be the perfect student. Tired of trying to be the perfect teenage girl. Tired of trying to be the perfect daughter. Tired of trying to live a perfect life.
Quinn had (just barely) managed to have a 4.0 GPA, but it was never enough. She was in pretty good shape, relatively attractive, but it was never enough. Quinn tried her best to be the second perfect Fabray daughter, living up to the pedestal that both her mom and (unintentionally) her sister had placed her on, but it was never enough. She was a shell of her true self, pretending to be someone she wasn't, but it was never enough. And Quinn was exhausted.
Everyone always expected more out of her. Teachers wanted more effort, horny teenage boys wanted her to put out, and her mom wanted her to pretend like sophomore year never happened. Anyone else just wanted nothing but perfection.
No one ever noticed how affected she was by this, because they were too busy focused on their own needs from the former cheerleader. Too engaged in pulling the girl in every direction that no one noticed Quinn's worst tormentor was herself.
She was constantly berating herself for every tiny mistake she made. Always noticing the flaws in everything she did, but no one else. It was just a small mistake, she'd tell herself. It never worked, though.
Every single time Quinn spoke, mental criticisms shot at her from all directions the second she shut her mouth. She used to think that she just believed in herself too much to let her potential go to waste. But the minute she finally phrased that, Quinn knew it was a lie. She had never believed in herself.
On the outside, she almost had as much confidence as Rachel Berry, but that was all fake. Everything about HBIC and intimidating Quinn was just an act. All of the slushies, insults, and threatening glares were just part of a façade.
The real Quinn Fabray was not even herself. The real Quinn was Lucy. Lucy Fabray.
After middle school, Quinn was sure she had left her "Lucy days" in the past. She was moving on. The blonde lost a lot of weight, got rid of her acne, dyed her hair, started wearing contacts, got a nose job, and within two short months, she had become a totally different person. She had become Quinn Fabray. And there was no turning back.
The minute Lauren Zizes had called her Lucy in the hallway, the girl's whole body went numb. After her long speech about how she pretty much stalked Quinn, she finally gave in. But she said that she loved herself, that she did all of those things because she had loved herself. It was really the exact opposite.
When she said that she hated the way she'd looked, that wasn't a lie. The whole story was the truth, but when Lauren accused her of hating herself, she knew she was already too vulnerable to admit that as well. So, Quinn played it over as loving herself so she made herself look better. But that was bullshit.
Quinn hated herself. She despised every little thing, from the dark roots of her hair to the tips of her toes.
"I've been that girl and I'm never going back." She had whispered. "I was a miserable little girl. And now I'm gonna be Prom Queen."
Prom Queen was her last shot at pleasing everyone. It was her last attempt at trying to feel good about herself as well and, like all good things in Quinn's life, it completely backfired.
Of course she couldn't have known that Kurt would get so many write-in votes, but that didn't lessen the hurt.
"This is your fault!" The blonde had shouted at Rachel. "Nobody would have ever voted for me, because they know he would rather be with you!"
"That's not true!" Rachel started, right as Quinn's palm came into contact with her cheek. The brunette had clutched her face in disbelief and Quinn looked horrified with her previous action. She knew that it wasn't true; she didn't win because she was never good enough for them, but the words came spilling out before she'd had half a mind to stop them.
"I'm so sorry."
Quinn cursed herself for being so vulnerable in front of Rachel, but ended up shedding several tears and sharing her fears with her.
"Look, you have nothing to be afraid of. Look, you are a very pretty girl, Quinn. Prettiest girl I've ever met, but," Rachel paused, waiting for the former cheerleader to recreate eye contact. "You're a lot more than that."
It didn't necessarily quell all of her fears, but it didn't go unrecognized either. And that was when Quinn knew that she was even more screwed, because she realized that she was hopelessly and completely falling for the diva. And there was nothing she could do about it.
Jean's funeral happened after that, and the event that occurred just minutes after leaving the funeral home was what finally drew the line.
"Why are you crying?" She asked, scared that she knew the answer to her own question.
"Because I'm breaking up with you." Finn mumbled.
Quinn wasn't even surprised. She knew that it would happen eventually, but she didn't predict exactly when. "Because of Rachel, cause you still love her," It wasn't even a question.
"That feeling that Sue was talking about in there, about being tethered to someone, I-I just... I don't feel that way about you."
The blonde foresaw all of this. And it was because he was still in love with Rachel. The girl that she was falling for.
"Do you feel anything anymore?" He nearly shouted, voice getting louder. "This is real, this is happening."
Tears streamed down her face, but Quinn wasn't all too sure why. It might have been because she was so used to crying after hearing yelling come from a man's voice.
"Are you happy now? Is this me feeling enough for you?" She choked out, feeling rage but not fully expressing it.
It was all bullshit. Everything in Quinn's life was spiraling down, and the trip to New York was just the cherry on top. She had been so excited to go to New York with her best friends. Little did anyone know, it was always her dream to visit and possibly live in the Big Apple (even before she met Rachel Berry). That or California, whichever got her the hell out of Lima sooner.
Even though her ex-boyfriend would be there, Quinn had the Glee girls and Kurt (by extension) to confide in and make the trip memorable. However, the second she noticed Finn making advances, no matter how small, on Rachel, Quinn knew she was in trouble.
She found out that Finn had taken Rachel out on a date, in the middle of their songwriting session. Normally, the brunette would refuse to go and insist that their work for the competition was much more important, but her "do anything for Finn at the drop of a hat" attitude was back.
"You know what? We get it. You're pissed about Finn dumping your sweet ass. Get over it." Santana had spoken, and Quinn finally snapped.
She raised her voice, getting furious, "I don't wanna get over it, okay?"
"The only person you're sabotaging here is yourself."
"I don't care about some stupid show choir competition!" Quinn shouted.
"Well, you should, because this is the one chance that we have to actually feel good about ourselves." The Latina replied.
"Aren't we supposed to be the popular girls? So, why can't we have our dreams come true?" Her voice suddenly got much softer. "She has it, Tina has it, even Zizes hooks up."
She backed away, sitting on the bed behind her. Brittany and Santana sat on either side of her.
"I just want somebody to love me."
It was hardly a whisper that came out of her mouth, through the cries that were unwillingly coming out of her. Quinn had finally spoken aloud what had been bugging her for months.
Why couldn't Quinn have a happy ending? Why couldn't she find someone who would love her as much as she loved them? It just wasn't fair.
Finn ended up kissing Rachel during their performance, costing them Nationals. Everyone was beyond angry with them, but Quinn didn't find herself caring that much.
The last day of school came and went, and it was officially summer. The ex-Cheerio didn't really have plans for the break, except for Santana and Brittany showing up unexpectedly to swim in her pool.
She was laying out in her backyard when her phone vibrated.
Hi.
The text message was from Rachel. Why in hell was Rachel texting her? Quinn only had her number, because they had exchanged them when preparing their duet weeks ago.
Hey. She responded.
Immediately, Quinn got a response. Would you want to do something today? Like, I don't know, go swimming or something? It's perfectly fine if you're still mad at me about the whole Finn thing.
No, I, um... Quinn found herself stuttering through typing, deleting all of that. Yeah, I've got a pool in my backyard if you wanted to come over?
If it isn't an inconvenience.
No, it's alright.
Ten minutes later, she brought Rachel through the gate to her backyard. The shorter girl began speaking, "This was kind of a spontaneous decision, sorry if I intruded on anything, Quinn. I just-"
"It's fine, don't worry. I didn't really have any plans for today, usually S and B just show up whenever they want to." Quinn smiled.
They sat in silence, and then Rachel blurted. "Finn broke up with me." Quinn looked at her questioningly and she continued. "I mean, he-um, it just took place yesterday."
"What happened?" She wondered, more curious than anything.
"I'm not too sure, myself. He said that things didn't feel how they used to before, you know, all of that." Rachel didn't need to elaborate more for Quinn to understand what she meant. "I don't really know why that led me here, I mean, you're probably the last person that would want to talk about this with me."
"No, I think that might be Santana." The former cheerleader laughed lightly. "You don't seem too upset about it."
Rachel took a breath. "I didn't think we would last very long, anyway. He knew that I wouldn't let anyone or anything stand between New York and me. Besides, I've started to have feelings for someone else now."
"Oh?" That got her attention.
"Yeah," She trailed off. "How about you? Any special people you've got your eye on?"
Yes. "No, not really." You can't lie to her. "Well, I mean, there's this one person that I think I've liked for a while, but I'm just now realizing it."
"Tell me about them," Rachel smiled obliviously.
"What do you want to know?"
"The basic stuff. Do they have nice eyes?"
"Yes, definitely." Quinn stared into them.
"Smile? Hair? Are they cute?" The brunette giggled.
"Gorgeous smile. Lovely hair. She-They're beautiful. What about yours?"
Rachel met her eyes, seeming like she was observing them. "She has amazing eyes a-and a huge smile that rarely shows, most of the time when she's laughing her adorable laugh. She has lovely hair as well, although she got it cut recently and no one's quite sure why."
Rachel was leaning closer, and Quinn's breath hitched. "Maybe she need an, uh, a change."
Their foreheads pressed together and the blonde's eyelids fluttered shut in anticipation. Rachel whispered, "Yeah, maybe."
Rachel closed the distance between their lips and everything around them faded away. All that existed was her and Rachel and nothing else mattered. The diva captured her bottom lip, gently sucking on it, and Quinn forgot everything.
The gate might have opened and Brittany and Santana might have entered her backyard, but she wasn't really sure. All she was fully aware of was the pair of soft lips attached to hers.
Quinn slowly, reluctantly pulled back, resting their foreheads together, and let out a deep breath against Rachel's mouth.
Santana laughed, "Aye, Tubs, save it for your pillow," At the same time, Brittany cheered, "Yay, Q!"
"Hey, you know that girl I was talking about?" Rachel whispered, picking up conversationally and meeting her eyes.
Quinn nodded and, in that moment, she realized it didn't matter that she wouldn't get her happy ending. Instead, she got to start over and that was better than anything.
"Quinn, let me tell you something about this girl. She's absolutely perfect."
Well then. This was supposed to be much more angsty, but I wanted to get it over with so, this happened.
