Hey Prongs!
How's it going? I miss you so much this summer. Can't talk now! Write back!
-Padfoot
Padfoot,
You do know that we live literally across the hallway from each other, right?
-Prongs
PS And that we saw each other this morning?
Prongsie-Poo,
You offend me! You don't even answer my questions, nor imply that you, being the spectacular human being that you are, have missed me, the spectacular human being that I am. My heart aches to see you again, dearest Prongs. Please, tell me you feel the same!
Most affectionately yours,
Padfoot
Padfoot,
Were you experimenting with love potions again? And I've told you this a thousand times: Don't call me Prongsie-Poo!
Annoyedly not yours,
Prongs
Dearest Lilykins
My Love
Dear Flower
Hi Lily,
Hope your summer is going grand. Mine's going pretty well- hanging out with my friends, making sure Sirius doesn't blow up the house, normal stuff. (He got himself a motorbike. A motorbike. He thinks that he's going to enchant it to fly. Let's just say that the shed hasn't been the same since.)
How's Sni Snape doing? Is he keeping his greasy hair away from you? I hope so, since you have lovely hair. Oops. Sorry, Padfoot forced me to write that. You know what, just ignore this entire paragraph.
Sorry, I am really mucking this up. Well, I better go. I smell smoke again.
Your friend, Sincerely,
James Potter
Potter-
Where on earth did you get the idea that I would like to correspond with you? Just because you were nice for once does not mean we are friends. It was the exception, rather than the rule.
By the way, I do hope Sirius did not blow up the house, as I quite like your owl and do not want her to be blown up.
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt. Keep that in mind, Potter.
-Lily Evans
Guess what!
-Prongs
You are going to the moon?
-Moony
You became Minister for Magic?
-Wormtail
You finally realized you love me!?
-Padfoot
No, No, and EW. Lily wrote back to me! Lily Evans wrote to ME! LILY wrote to me! Lily WROTE to me! Lily wrote TO me!
-Prongs
Amazing how many ways you can write that sentence and not explode. Anyway, good job, Prongs. Just keep being kind.
-Moony
Yeah, but what Prongs didn't mention is that she called him a fool. And that the only reason she didn't want our house to blow up was because she cared… about the owl.
-Padfoot
Yeah, but still, progress is progress. Next step is making her not hate him. It's like climbing Mount Everest. The second is the impossible one, but you have to start somewhere.
-Wormtail
Thanks, Wormtail. Wish me luck.
-Prongs
Luck!
-Moony
Luck!
-Wormtail
Negative luck!
-Padfoot
Um… I feel reassured?
-Prongs
Well, if I left it as it was, there would have been 2 lucks, which cancel each other out, so I had to subtract one to have at least one luck.
-Padfoot
Assuming that your extremely flawed logic is true, then you could have just added a luck and we would have an odd number of lucks, therefore ensuring that he has at least one luck.
-Moony
Well, fine. Luck, then.
-Padfoot
Well, now you've negated your no luck, and so mine and Moony's lucks cancel each other out, so now James has no lucks.
-Wormtail
Dear Lily,
Well, I never denied that I was a fool, so I shall write anyway. I won't get distracted by Sirius because he's busy arguing about lucks with Remus and Peter. I don't know. Sometimes I wonder why I'm friends with them. But then I remember that I'd be dead several times over without, so I guess I'll keep them around.
How's Alice? Are she and Frank married yet?
I don't really care what you say,
I'm going to write you anyway.
-James
Potter-
I'll say this for you- you are persistent to the point of impudence. Just know that I am only writing because I am holed up in my room for endless hours with nothing to do except write and read.
Alice is fine. She's in France right now with her family. Frank is also fine, but they both keep writing me telling me about how much they miss each other. I'm thinking of just sending their letters to each other so that they stop telling me about their feelings and tell each other. Though, I'm sure they tell each other enough, so my doing it wouldn't do anything.
What do you think you're playing at, Potter
No matter what you say, you're still a rotter.
-Lily
Lils-
Can I call you Lils? Just know that I will probably call you that whether or not you let me. Why are you holed up in your room? Are you in trouble or something? I thought Perfect Prefect Evans never got in trouble. Speaking of which, when do you reckon Hogwarts letters are coming? It's got to be soon; it's the beginning of August.
I don't know, Lils, but I gotta say
You might be starting to think that I'm okay.
-James
Potter,
No, you are not allowed to call me Lils. I will not respond if you call me that. It's not any shorter than my real name, and it sounds ridiculous. And, no, I am not in trouble, unless you call my sister and Severus trouble. Normally, I would go outside to escape my sister, but now every time I step outside, Severus tries to apologize. I don't even know why I'm telling you this. Probably because all my friends have heard it about ten thousand times, so you are the only other option.
And speaking of Hogwarts letters, you might want to check outside.
In no universe, Potter, will we ever be friends.
That statement is how this letter ends.
-Lily
Hey Marauders,
Guess who's Head Boy? Remus? Peter? Mickey Mouse? All more plausible than Dumbledore's actual choice: One James Potter. Want to place bets that Dumbledore's gone round the bend?
-Sirius
Ha ha, very funny. I do agree, though. What on earth was Dumbledore thinking, making me Head Boy? I'm not studious like Remus. I more often make the trouble than resolve it. Why would he pick me?
-James
James, you have a talent for bringing people together. Look at us: a disowned pureblood, a charmed heir, a nerd with a furry little problem, and a timid half-blood who became part of the most esteemed pranking group in the school. You bring everyone together, no matter what. That's what they really want. I doesn't hurt that you are one of the smartest people in the school, and the best quidditch player too… Peter wants to say that you'll great, and to not increase your ego anymore. As Lily says, its already big enough to prohibit your broom from lifting off.
-Remus
Why didn't Peter just write that?
-James
Let's just say he's… incapacitated at the moment.
-Remus
What did you do?
-James
Let's just say he had an accident with my birthday gift from you…
-Remus
OH! That gift.
-James
Yeah… so he's a little handicapped at the moment.
-Remus
Will someone please tell me what's going on?
-Sirius
NO!
-Wormtail, Moony, and Prongs
Okay…
-Padfoot
And thus with those inspiring words, the summer before 7th year ends.
Did you like what you read? What could I improve? You could let me know all that by reviewing! Thanks! And just by the way, I don't own Harry Potter.