Chapter 2- To be Forgotten
Caitlin
Ever since she was little, Caitlin had learned to never get her hopes up. She had learned that being too hopeful was just a characteristic of naive individuals. Becoming too invested in an outcome was just a recipe for disaster, it was just going to get you hurt. And Caitlin hated feeling hurt, hated feeling vulnerable; and so Caitlin had learned to keep people at arm's distance. She had learned to always prepare for the worst.
It wasn't that she wasn't optimistic, she was, but to a certain degree. If Caitlin told a stranger about the experiences she had, they would understand why she gained that perspective. They would understand why she was always cold.
For instance when Caitlin was younger, she had always hoped that her parents would stop fighting. She hoped that exceeding their expectations in her academic life would cause for them to be proud of her and work out their differences. Exceeding their expectations did nothing, the day of her 9th birthday instead of getting a wonderful present, she received the news that her parents were getting a divorce...That was Caitlin's first lesson on why you should never be hopeful for anything.
Her second lesson on why not to be hopeful came when she was 24 years old. Caitlin's then boyfriend of five years Ronnie, was many girls definition of perfect. Ronnie was loving and caring with handsome physical features. He was "perfect" but he never made her feel like he was the one. She had hoped that with time she would feel like that, but she hadn't. Maybe it was her view point getting in the way, but Caitlin never felt that her and Ronnie's relationship was going to last. She had loved him yes, but she did not hope for a future together.
When Ronnie had told her about the future he had envisioned for them, she had merely nodded along not really seeing their future together the way he wanted her to. He had gotten mad and told her that, if she couldn't see a future with him, he couldn't see one either. The next day he left. And she never saw him again.
And even though she was hurt she continued on with her life. A lot of people would call her cold hearted but it was just the way that Caitlin dealt with pain. And so she focused on her career and gained a job at one of the most prestigious labs in the entire world. Star Labs.
There in Star Labs, she met her best friend, Cisco Ramon. He was like a little boy, fascinated with everything and eager to make new friends. It was hard at first, opening up to someone like Cisco, but slowly she did. To this day she didn't not regret a single thing. Cisco was one of the best human beings on earth and she was blessed to have met him. Even though he joked around a lot, he always made her feel better he was like her younger brother. Always looking out for her best interest.
Cisco got her out of her comfort level. Without him pushing her constantly, she would had never accomplished the things that she had. She would had never met the love of her life at a bar. She would had never met Barry Allen.
Barry was unlike any other person she had met. He was goofy with a heart made of gold but he still held this aura of maturity that she could tell came from a lot of pain. He was in every aspect of the word perfect. Her definition of perfect. Well maybe not perfect but he was very darn close to it.
Mark her words, Caitlin had never felt so drawn to a person as much as she had with him.
He got her in a way that one no one else had. He changed her for the better. Suddenly everything was brighter and finally she found a person who enabled her to hope for their future without fearing for the worst. Caitlin knew that Barry was going to be by her side every step of their journey together. So it was no wonder why she had said yes the instant Barry had taken out that beautiful ring. She could still picture that day as if it was just moments ago.
"How is the most beautiful scientist in the world?" A voice had whispered into her ear startling her from her book on evolution.
Barry had demanded for her to meet him at the park near the waterfront. It was her favorite place in Central City only because it was the place where she and Barry had spent their first date in.
Meeting him in their spot would have not been a big deal had it not been chilly. It was November and while the leaves on the ground made the environment perfect for a romantic meeting, she was kinda cold. Sure the coffee in her hand helped warm her a bit but she was still shivering.
To make matters a bit worse Barry was late again. He tended to do that, when it's an important date he tended to be a few min late opposed to being half an hour late. On their first year anniversary 3 months ago he had been so nervous that he completely lost track of time and arrived at the restaurant reservation 10 min late.
Caitlin never minded. She understood that no one was perfect and so she dealt with Barry's tardiness.
"Pretty tired, Doctor Harrison Wells had us working on some issues for the particle accelerator so that it would be able to go online next week. And while I was fixing the minor problem I found out that...and you really don't care about what I was just saying." Caitlin exclaimed as Barry shook his head smiling and giving her a laugh that brightened her day in an instant.
"I care about anything that you are passionate about Cait." Barry breathed in as he put an arm around Caitlin squeezing her as he planted a kiss on her cheek.
"Barry why are you always so cheesy? Anyways what was so important that you absolutely had to see me out here on this cold day?"
"I don't know I just wanted an excuse to cuddle, but do you want my jacket?" Barry asked concerned as he took his jacket instantly dropping it in her shoulders not waiting for her answer.
"Barry Allen we could have cuddled anywhere that was warm! You sir, are hiding something from me, tell me." Caitlin's exclaimed as she stressed the tell me part as she laced their fingers together.
"You know me so well Dr. Snow... I was just talking to my dad about the future and all I could think about was us." Barry whispered the last part as he looked anywhere but her.
"..."
"What's bothering you?" Said Barry after several seconds of silence.
"What?" Caitlin had said dumbly as she looked at Barry questioningly.
"You are biting your lip, that thing you do when something is bothering you."
"Have I ever told you why I broke up with Ronnie?" Caitlin said as she started into the familiar green eyes.
"Tell me."
"Well it was our five year anniversary. We were at his apartment talking about anything and everything when suddenly he asked me what I envisioned for the future. I told him that I wanted to continue my journey in science but he had hoped for a different answer. He wanted a future together, one with a lot of children out in Coast City. I told him I was not ready. The truth was I could not imagine a life together. I loved him a lot but I was never in love with him. He got really angry once he found the hidden meaning in between my words, he told me that if I could not see a future together he couldn't either. The next day he left."
"Do you still love him?" Barry asked as he shifted uncomfortably and looked at her questionably.
"I will always love him….Just like you will always love Iris. He was my first love but he was not the love of my life." Caitlin had said as she placed a kiss at the edge of his mouth leaving Barry craving for more.
"So what do you see in your future now that you are a scientist?"
"Well I see a family. A man and a woman who love each other. Maybe even a few kids?" Caitlin had said as she leaned into Barry whispering her hopes for the future.
"Well it is a good thing I brought this then..." Barry said as he cleared his throat and went on one knee.
No words would be able to describe how Caitlin had felt in that instant.
"Caitlin my whole life I thought Iris was the one for me. But ever since I met you, my life was changed for the better. Suddenly Iris did not exist in that way anymore. You achieved the impossible because no girl had ever made me feel like you do. Suddenly the only person I pictured myself with was you. When I first met you my breath was taken in an instant. You looked so beautiful with that black dress on and all I can remember thinking, was god she is perfect. While we have only had a year of being together I feel like we have been together our whole life. The minute that you became my girlfriend I knew that I would want to spend the rest of my life with you by my side. And while I am yours just as much as you are mine this next step will just make it official."
Caitlin didn't even wait for him to finish his speech before she jumped into his arms kissing him. Of course she was going to spend the rest of her life with him, how could she not!? He was her person. Her soulmate.
That day had been perfect. She had never expected Barry to propose so soon but she was glad he had. He was right, she was his and he was hers, marrying each other would just make it official on paper.
The week after he proposed was perfect. That is until he got struck by lightning.
And the pain that she endured was far greater than anything she had experienced.
Caitlin stood by Barry's side through those tortures 9 months. She barely left Star Labs, only left when Cisco or Iris insisted they would stay by Barry's side until she returned. She never lost hope, Barry was strong and he would pull through. He promised her that he would always return to her no matter what.
And she trusted Barry and so for the next 9 months she stood tight.
After nine months, he finally woke up. Her first instinct was to examine every part of his body. She needed to see for herself that everything was alright. Then she would relax.
Or not.
"Who-who are you?"
Caitlin at that instant felt herself shut down. What was going on. This couldn't be happening. The minute he uttered those words she had felt a stabbing pain like ice being put on the flesh of a person.
"You're at Star Labs." Cisco said as he took command of the situation seeing Caitlin freeze up.
"Star Labs? Who are you?" Barry asked once more looking at his surroundings.
"I am Cisco Ramon. You are going to be fine. Do you know who she is?" Cisco asked Barry as he pointed at Caitlin.
Caitlin silently prayed in her head that he would say yes. That he would say that yes he did know her, and that they were going to be okay. That everything was going to go back to normal.
"Of course not. Why am I at Star Labs? What is going on?" Ouch that one hurt
"She is Doctor Caitlin Snow." Cisco clarified as he tried to see the correct way to handle the situation.
"I need you to urinate in this" Caitlin demanded not wanting to break down in tears she took on the role of a doctor. She had to be unfazed by the situation, she had to pretend like it didn't hurt. Even if it meant not being able to go up to him kiss him and hold him in her arms.
"Not this instant-" Cisco exclaimed as he looked at Caitlin a silent question in his eyes.
"What is going on!" Barry demanded as he got up from the bed where he sat and turned a few feet away from them.
"You were struck by lightning dude!" Cisco said for a minute sounding like a child in awe.
"Lighting gave me abs?" Barry said as he stared at his reflection in the mirror.
No you worked out. That's how you got abs. Caitlin wanted to scream. He wanted to get fit so that he could never be late to any of their dates.
"That doesn't matter, look you should sit down," Cisco pulled Barry into the nearest chair and went eye to eye. "You were in a coma...for nine months." Cisco explained slowly.
"What!"
"Welcome back Mr. Allen. We have a lot to discuss." Harrison Wells arrived in his wheelchair in that moment as he took Barry out of the cortex and into the hallways of Star Labs.
A few moments of silence passed as Caitlin felt her heart start beating faster. She was on the verge of a panic attack.
"Cisco….He doesn't remember." Caitlin whispered as she tried to calm herself down. She was on the verge of tears something that Cisco had never seen her do.
"Cait it must be temporary. You can't give up hope.
"He looked at me as he would a stranger. We were supposed to be married and now he doesn't even know who I am. Cisco…..What am I going to do." Caitlin exclaimed as she let him hold her in his arms. She wouldn't cry not in front of anyone.
The only person who she would allow to see her cry was Barry. He was the only person that she wanted to be comforted by but he had lost her memory. He was the cause of her pain.
"Look everything will be okay. All of us will do everything in our power to help him remember. He wasn't just your fiance he was also my best guy friend. All of us want him to remember."
"Yeah you are right. Sorry for that. I just have to-"
"Your... family allowed us to stabilize you here at Star labs" Dr. Harrison Wells stopped her from finishing her sentence as he wheeled into the Cortex.
"Iris! Was she here?" Barry suddenly asked becoming all too eager as Dr. Wells nodded.
Caitlin pretended not to be hurt as she clutched her hands together.
"Yeah she came here everyday. She's pretty hot." Cisco exclaimed not helping Caitlin situation.
"Yeah anyways thanks and all but I really have to go and see her. Thanks so much and can I keep the sweatshirt?"
"Wait we still haven't checked if your body functions are okay" Caitlin protested as she watched the love of her life leave to be with his first love.
"I am fine. Gotta go! It was nice to meet you all."
Barry said as he barely took a second glance at Caitlin and went out into the world.
"Dr. Wells do you think he will remember us? Should we tell him?" Cisco asked noticing Caitlin pained expression.
"It seems that he has lost part of his memory, 2 years of his memory have been whipped from what I can see. I am not sure if we should tell him seeing as it could cause a trigger for something worse to happen. We still aren't sure of his brain is working the same as it has been before it it could be somewhat of a risk. But in the end Caitlin is the one who should have the last word." Wells explained as he looked at Caitlin.
Caitlin was having an inner debate as she glanced at her boss and her best friend. The very mention of something worse occurring to Barry caused her to make up her mind. She wouldn't tell him she was his fiancé. She just hoped that their love was strong enough for him to remember her.
Please remember me Barry, I am waiting for you.
OH MY God. You guys! Thanks so much for favoriting, following and reviewing this story! It means the world to me! I was having such a shitty day and suddenly I see that a lot of you guys are enjoying this story and it brightened my day! As a thank you gift I wrote this chapter and decided to uploaded it. Again excuse the spelling and or grammar mistakes, I need to polish my writing style. I haven't written fanfiction since I was 13 so it's going to take a while to get into the groove of things!
Anyways I was originally going to exceed 3,000 words in this chapter but then I decided to cut some things out. I like how I ended it. Hopefully, fingers crossed I will have another update by Friday, the absolute latest will be Sunday so be on the lookout for that!
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