Hi Everyone.
Thank you so much for the reviews and messages I had yesterday on not only Fanfiction but on the FSoG Fanfic Obsessed Group.
I had a few people message me asking if it's a HEA and if they were with other people in their year long break. I will answer your question if you ask so if you want to know just PM me.
This story is a story of She messed up. He messed up. She has regrets. He has regrets. It's a story about them becoming more mature and getting over the stuff that was holding them back. Some people will love this story and some will hate it but I have loved writing it.
Thanks for reading and reviewing :)
Cheers GG89 xoxo
TWO Months LATER. CHAPTER 2
"Ana, you need to get up out of this bed. It's been a month and all you have done is gone to work and then wallowed in your own grief"
Kate tries for the hundredth time to get me out of my funk but I think I will be in this state for a long time.
I have not seen or spoken to Christian in two months. He won't take my calls or answer my texts. I have tried passing messages on to him through Elliott but when I ask Elliott what Christian said he just tells me he promised his brother not to talk about him to me.
I feel so so bad about my behavior. I had the worlds most perfect man and I blew it. My god, He came to my office with a surprise picnic lunch and I sent him away. He sent flowers to my office and I hid them under my desk. Why was I so against him showering me with gifts?I think I need to book an appointment with Dr Flynn.
Me and Ethan had a major blow out and I screamed at him that I hated him, I slapped him and I haven't seen him since.
The day Christian kicked me out I came back to Kate's in floods of tears. Kate was very sympathetic to me but then when I told her of the way I have treated Christian over the last few months she chewed me out. She said she may not be his biggest fan but it was clear that he was madly in love with me. She then kicked Ethan's ass out of her house because he told her that he was in love with me and he was only trying to make me see that I had options. Her reply to him was that in my heart the only option was Christian and he deserved more than the way Ethan and I had treated him. She kicked him out of her house and has been cold to him for two months but she has been my rock. She told me I was stupid to act the way I had and I know that she has spoken to Christian on several occasions to help us find a road back to each other but it's all been to no avail.
"Kate I just want to be alone"
"Well too bad. I am sick of seeing you in this state so I want you to get up, get showered and then you're coming out for a meal and then dancing with me and Elliott"
"Kate"
"No, Ana. No more excuses. Get your ass up"
Two hours later I find myself being the third wheel between Kate and Elliott. We are in a small Italian restaurant not far from Escala. I came here once with Christian but the press showed up and we had to leave.
When I am half way through my meal I feel the static that is always around me when Christian is near. I eagerly lift my head up and try to find him. This could be my chance to apologize to him and vow to change my ways. He changed so much for me and I would not budge an inch.
I look around and when I spot him I once again feel my world crumbling around me.
He's with a woman. A very beautiful woman who seems to be enchanted with him. At first I think that this must be a business associate because shes got beautiful flaming red hair that cascades down her back and I know Christian only likes brunettes but then I see him reach across the table and kiss her on the lips and I know in my heart what this is.
Christian is on a date.
He's moved on.
Seeing the distress on my face, Kate and Elliott turn around and they are both in shock at what they are seeing.
Christian and the red head are laughing and whispering to each other and when I see him lean across and kiss her softly I burst into tears and run out the restaurant before he sees me.
Sobs over take my body and I fall to my knees. It hurts so bad my lungs feel like they will explode.
I can't believe he moved on. I thought we were taking a break? Taking a break means that one day you will be off that break and back together. Taking a break does not mean that you move on with some red haired hussy! Anger over takes me and I jump up intending to storm in there and give him a piece of my mind when I am stopped by Kate.
"Ana, Ana listen to me. I am sure there is a perfectly good explanation for this"
"Are you fucking kidding me? Kate, He just kissed another woman! It's clear he has moved on I just thought he would have the fucking decency to tell me it was completely over before he started sucking face with that whore!"
"I assure you, Anastasia that Amanda is no whore" I hear from behind me.
Christian is stood next to Elliott but his little friend is nowhere to be seen.
Kate grabs Elliot's arm and drags him away from us so we have our privacy.
"Fuck you, Christian! Do you know what I have been through these last two months? Do you know how guilty I have been feeling? How it has ripped me apart not being with you? And all this time you have been canoodling with..with Amanda" I say her name with such hate that Christian chuckles.
"Jealous are you? I assume you feel the same way I felt when I saw you locking lips with Ethan. The only difference is at the time of your betrayal, we were still in a relationship. I am a free agent. I told you that we needed time apart to think about things and I recently was given a good talking too and now I understand. There is a reason you would not accept my marriage proposal, it's because you didn't love me and didn't want to be tied for life too me" He finishes off with a nod of his head like he is 100% sure that the bullshit he just spewed is correct.
"You think I don't love you?" I scream at him causing people on the street to turn and look at us "Christian, I love you more than anything on this earth! It was only my own insecurity's that got in the way of me saying yes when you asked me. I always thought in the back of my mind that you would realize one day that I was not enough for you. I told you morning, noon and night how much I love you. How can you think anything else? Who gave you this "Good talking too" and told you I didn't love you?"
He shifts uncomfortably and I can see the answer on his face.
"Are you kidding me? You went to that Bitch Troll?"
"Ana, it wasn't like that. I didn't seek her out" He has a panicked look on his face like he knows hes fucked up. Which he has.
"I've told you once before that she was a hard limit for me" I angrily swipe the tears that are falling from my face.
"Baby, come home with me and we can talk about all this. Get everything out on the table and fix this. Fix us" He takes a step towards me but I step back.
"You seem to be forgetting your little date"
"Fuck her. She means nothing to me. I only agreed to this date because I knew you would be here and I wanted to make you jealous!" He stops talking when he sees the look of horror on my face.
I take a step towards him and slap his face.
"Job well done, Asshole. I'm not only jealous, I'm hurt, confused, angry and I feel like my heart has been ripped out my chest so mission accomplished!" I scream.
He holds his face where I slapped him and looks at me like the lost little boy that he is.
"I'm sorry" He looks like he is going to cry because he knows and I know that this is it.
"I'm sorry, too. I love you Christian and I probably always will but I don't want to be with someone who would purposely set out to hurt me"
"Ana, No you don't mean this!"
"But I do. Coming on the date with another woman to make me jealous I can see how your brain worked on that. But talking to Elena about me. Believing her lies when she got in your head and said I didn't love you? I wont forgive that. I told you once before that if you ever talked to that pedo bitch again that I would walk away. This is me walking away. We're over" I swipe the tears from my face and then gently wipe the tears that are now falling from his face.
"Ana, Please" He begs but I take a step back.
"Bye, Christian"
I sprint away from him as his cries for me to stop bounce off the buildings around us.
I jump in to a cab that has just pulled up and tell him to drive.
I can't believe I just left Christian but I will not tolerate someone who hangs around with a child molester. He is such a smart man in so many ways but when it comes to her he is blind.
When I get back to the apartment I quickly pack my bag. I email Jerry Roach my boss and tell him that a family emergency has come up and I need to take the holiday leave that he has been telling me I need to take for almost a year now.
I only pack a few outfits and my toiletries before I go to walk out the door. My eyes fall on the picture of Christian and I that I have on my nightstand. I debate on whether or not to take it but seeing his face everyday would only hurt me. I put the picture face down on my night stand and then walk out the door.
I scribble a quick note to Kate and then lock up the apartment. I toss my bag in the trunk of my car and then take off. I have no destination in mind I just know that I need to get away from Seattle and think.
Think about my future.
Think about how on earth I will survive without Christian Grey in my life.
But most of all I need to figure out how to mend the massive hole in my heart.