Naruto slowly woke up and frowned. It was quiet. Unnaturally quiet.
Sure, he was living alone, but even in an empty apartment he should be able to hear the ticking of the clock or the creaking of his bed-
Right, wood under his fingers… he'd actually fallen asleep on the floor yesterday.
But still, he should be able to hear something, and be it only his breath-
He froze, then breathed in and out, exaggeratedly, loudly-
Nothing.
In a panic, he finally opened his eyes and-
The panic was momentarily forgotten as he puzzled over why it was so dark that he couldn't see anything.
Had he slept that shortly? Or that long?
He frowned. Even if it was night, there should at least be starlight or light from another apartment shining through his window and illuminating his surroundings, at least enough to not be this inky blackness.
Naruto stood up, starting to get frightened. He put a hand on the wall and retraced his steps from yesterday to find the light switch next to the entrance door. There!
He flipped the switch and-
Nothing.
He flipped it again.
No results.
And again and again and-
Why was it suddenly so hard to breathe…?
Slowly, as he fought for oxygen to reach his lungs, he realized that he was hyperventilating. Damn, he should slow down his frantic breathing before he passed out and maybe hurt himself.
So he focused on controlling his breathing, frowning as he couldn't hear-
And he felt like suffocating again, but barely noticed over the panic that had taken over his mind and-
Naruto groaned wondering what he did to make his head hurt that much. It didn't feel like a headache, so he must've hit his head…
The he remembered the previous events and threw his eyes open.
Darkness.
And then his whole attention was on drawing one breath after the other in a normal pace.
It took a long while to be able to focus on his sight and hearing without hyperventilating again.
But still, there was no change.
He still couldn't see, couldn't hear, even when he tried speaking.
He frantically searched through his memory, trying to come up with a reason for why he had suddenly lost two senses when he remembered his break down after Iruka- right, not thinking about that – when he had desperately been wishing not to have to look at the glaring signs of his loneliness, wishing not to have to hear the proof that there was no one he could laugh, talk with…
He shivered. That was ridiculous. He couldn't have lost two of his senses just because he had been desperately wishing them off.
Wishing didn't do that… right?
He wasn't sure. It wasn't like anyone ever explained something to him.
…Maybe if one wished something hard enough it actually happened?
Then why was he still alone and unloved? Didn't he wish hard enough?
He thought back.
He'd really wished for no attacks on his birthday and it had miraculously happened.
He'd really wanted to be on a team with Sakura-chan, and he had.
He'd wanted to pass the genin exam from Kakashi-sensei and they did, despite failing before.
He'd wished to be taught by someone so he could manage the chuunin exam finals and he'd gotten Jiraya to train him although the Sennin didn't take apprentices and really didn't want to train him.
He'd wanted to become Hokage so everyone could acknowledge him- he groaned. Of course, he'd wished for acknowledgement, not love, and he had gotten acknowledgement from Iruka back then with the forbidden scroll incident.
And he'd really wished for not feeling alone and then he'd gotten that way improved chakra sensory…
Damn. So it really was his fault he was unloved.
He felt tears prickling his eyes. Why was he so useless?
And why had wishing before for no attacks helped- he remembered that he'd been only thinking that thought of hoping for no attacks yesterday, no stray thoughts distracting him…
Damn. Useless idiot. His peers were right. He really was stupid.
…But no one had told him that wishing hard enough did that… But really, it was his fault for not asking, so…
It was probably something completely obvious for other people too, so no one had spoke up about it.
Damn. He'd really screwed up and now he had lost two major senses.
So he'd have to wish for his senses back.
Okay.
Naruto closed his eyes ignoring the somewhat relief at not having to stare at his dreary apartment-
Focus. Okay. He wished for his sight and hearing to come back.
He opened his eyes. Nothing.
Okay, so he hadn't wished hard enough.
He tried again. And again.
Still no improvement.
Naruto frowned. He really was an idiot. He couldn't even do this right.
He wondered why he couldn't. And then he remembered the relief at not having to see the dump in front of him or hear the villagers insult him or how they cheerfully went on with life not granting him the same-
Ah, that's why. He didn't want the senses back with all his heart and will so it didn't happen.
He scowled. Stupid him.
But he couldn't be a shinobi like this.
Ice settled in his stomach. No, no, no. He needed his senses. Or, or, a kind of replacement- This couldn't go on like this. He needed to be able to tell when people were talking or when they were moving. He needed to see and hear-
He needed a replacement for his lost senses. He needed it. Or he wouldn't be able to be a shinobi anymore and then he'd never be Hokage and then he wouldn't be able to protect his precious people and win the village's acknowledgement-
He was rattled from his thoughts when someone let something heavy fall down in the apartment above him.
Damn couldn't they for once be silent? He was concentrating on his wishing-
He had heard- no, not heard, he'd felt the vibration of something heavy falling on the floor-
"Yes! I did it!" The blonde cheered enthusiastically. He had a replacement for his hearing, it had worked!
And since he had a replacement for his hearing, he had to have one for his sight as well…
Ah, that was it! He could've slapped himself. He had to discover what he'd gained, like he'd discovered what he'd lost! Silly him, he wouldn't feel the change of what he wished.
Yeah, he really was stupid… Well, at least there was no one around to see it.
And thankfully, today was off because of the festival yesterday. Added to that, it was Friday so he didn't have to worry about meeting his team for another few days still.
Alright, he thought heartened, time to get to work.
He slowly stood up and focused on his footsteps. Yeah, he could feel the vibration from placing his feet unshinobi-like on the ground.
Now, if he were to do it like a shinobi… he channeled chakra to his feet and walked another few paces. Okay, he couldn't feel the vibration, but his own chakra… Hm, what if another shinobi did that? Would he be able to tell? But on the other hand he could feel their chakra signature, so it wouldn't be necessary to tell that they were approaching from sensing their footsteps… okay.
So… now there was the problem with the time, how was he going to do that? It wasn't like he could see his clock or the sun… the sun!
He'd be able to tell the time not from the sun's position but from the intensity of the sunrays' heat on his skin. Yes, he just had to get to the window…
And how was he supposed to tell if there were things around him? He couldn't see them and they didn't emit any chakra… maybe, could he… throw… his chakra? So he'd be able to feel where the things around him were and weren't?
He decided to test that… now how would he throw his chakra out? And why was that idea familiar… It clicked. Of course, genjutsu! They were supposed to send out a pulse of chakra to dispel genjutsu… Should work for what he wanted… right?
Well, no other way to tell than to try it out. It wasn't like it would hurt in anyway either, so… yeah.
He did just that, sending out a small pulse around him and… yes! It worked!
He hadn't been able to tell what was around him exactly, mind you, but still… at least now he knew where not to go so as not to bump into something. Yeah, he could work with that. Maybe with a bit of practice he would be able to tell what exactly was around him.
He cocked his head, contemplating. What he'd done was a bit obvious… maybe he'd be able to reduce the chakra until it wasn't as obvious anymore…?
Ah well, if it wasn't possible, he'd just have to wish really hard for an alternative. Yes, perfect.
Remembering his earlier objective of moving to the window (his bedroom's window ideally) he sent out another chakra pulse and another to determine the path he could take without walking into something.
It was a bit unrefined, but nothing, he was positive, that some practice couldn't fix.
It took longer than he had thought – again, he just needed practice – but he eventually made it to the window and waited.
Yep, there was heat, so it was definitely daytime and… it didn't feel like the middle of the day, but a bit lesser… so either late morning or early afternoon. Hm, he couldn't tell, but on the other hand, if he'd gotten up like normal, then he would've probably been able to tell.
Well, he remembered waking up after falling asleep by the front door the previous evening. Then he'd discovered his lost senses and then passed out from a needless panic attack since he hadn't known about the mechanics behind wishing then.
Okay, so it was probably afternoon.
Hm, he'd need a solution for that; his wristwatch was practically useless without being able to see it… Unless he could feel the clock's face-
Grinning triumphantly, Naruto set to taking off his wristwatch and then carefully removing the glass that protected the clock's face, with a kunai.
Finished, he let his fingers glide over the watch, but not too hard; he didn't want to accidently alter the time displayed. Yep, he'd been right; it was two o'clock in the afternoon.
And promptly, his stomach growled and he remembered that he hadn't had anything to eat in the last twenty-four hours, his last meal having been at one o'clock the previous day.
So he used his new pulse technique to get to the kitchen and make himself ramen… where he noticed that he couldn't tell what the label said.
Hm, there had to be a way to tell without opening it… Maybe he could feel the characters?
He tried it. It didn't work. He could feel the difference in ink, but couldn't tell the exact script and words… he needed a way to improve his sense of touch.
Or maybe he could use chakra to tell?
He tried his pulse and concentrated really hard, but he could only make up that there was the kitchen's counter and an object on it.
Maybe, if he combined touch and pulse?
He tried that as well letting his fingers hover above the label but it didn't quite work. He, again, could tell that there was a difference in ink but…
Next, he touched the label with his fingers and then send chakra out again, but instead of telling him what the label said, it went into the ramen cup and he 'saw' the contents… more or less… He filed that away for later since he still needed a way to read.
He pursed his lips as he thought. Hovering was still too far away but touching and sending it through, made the chakra go into the object and not scan the label, so he needed something in-between…
Maybe if he touched the object and send out the pulse but didn't let it go outside his body…? Would that even work?
Hands on approach then.
He touched the label with his fingers and send chakra into his hand like with the pulse, but this time, kept the chakra inside and- yes! Something had improved!
It wasn't the thing-sensory like when he'd been moving through his apartment, but his touch had improved with the added chakra running through his fingers.
So he did it again, but this time, held the chakra in his fingers for longer.
And he could make out more. Still not enough to tell the characters but definitely better.
Awesome. He trained a bit more, experimenting with the chakra and sometime later… a check on his watch showed two hours had passed! he managed to slowly and somewhat sloppily read the label; at least enough to make out that it was miso ramen.
Well, practice was needed.
Then he hurriedly set to preparing his ramen and eating, while experimenting with the new variant of pulsing.
And he realized that taking off the glass of his wristwatch hadn't been needed because now he could take a look at the time by sending his chakra pulse into the watch.
So, he scrounged up some glue and painstakingly – it was hard doing it blind, but good practice for his chakra pulsing – replaced the wristwatch's glass.
There.
Now he had a way of telling what things were, how to move and how to read.
He thought about what else he might need and remembered that he couldn't even hear himself talk. So that would have to be remedied. He should be able to feel the vibration of his own vocal chords working and – testing it – yes, he did.
Then to finding out if and what others were speaking.
He remembered when he'd been able to tell that something had fallen…
Again vibrations and his sense of touch. Just, would it be the vibrations from others' voices hitting his skin… alright he'd have to test and train that; but it should, theoretically work. Now to get onto practice…
He henged into some random person, hoping he did it right since he couldn't look into a mirror-
Huh, what if he sent a chakra pulse against a mirror…? He tested it but found that his chakra pulse only told him that there was a flat object in front of him.
Hm.
No sight, so… touch. With that thought he explored his new look with his hands and found that he looked older and taller and had a different hairstyle.
But how would he be able to tell the colors of something…?
He couldn't think of anything this time. Something to think about later. For now he wanted to learn how to listen to someone again.
He set out and made his way to the market where he settled himself leaning against a wall in an empty corner of the place where he wouldn't be noticed.
Then he concentrated on people.
To his disappointment, he could only make out the general buzz, but no distinct speech. He needed better- he remembered the label on his ramen cup. Right, chakra enforcement.
He directed chakra to all his skin-
And almost collapsed from the sensory overload. Right, bad idea. He made a mental note never to do that again.
The second time he only directed chakra to his ears. He wouldn't be able to hear but- wait shouldn't it work further in the ear? Didn't ears work by sorting out vibrations and translating that into 'hearing'…? He was sure he'd heard Sakura mention something like that once- no that had been Iruka, when he'd gotten so exasperated about him not listening during his lectures and he'd given the excuse- Anyway, he didn't want to think about Iruka.
So he channeled chakra further in his ear and- at one point it didn't work anymore. Huh, so that's how his deafness worked. Interesting. Alright, then he'd have to direct chakra a bit further out than his hearing was naturally built. Oh well, it should work.
Except, a bit further, turned out to be the spot between his cheek bone and his 'ear-hole' because anything else didn't quite work.
And it needed a constant supply of chakra… ah well, he had enough of that.
So, having dealt with the placement of his concentration of chakra, he focused on a woman at a stand nearby that was chattering with the stand's owner.
It was really hard and he barely understood a thing, but he gleaned enough that he knew he just needed practice. Well, what else was new…
After a few hours, he was positive to have gotten the hang of his new hearing. It was almost as if he'd never stopped hearing in the first place.
Except, this new method took a lot of concentration. Enough that he had to let it go because of a building headache.
So he turned to walk towards a training ground, wanting to see if he'd be able to fight like he was now.
It turned out that sending a chakra pulse all the time was really impractical. He'd need something better.
He couldn't be the only one who'd tried to fight blind.
Like that time when Zabuza made that mist… Naruto blinked surprised. The mist, Zabuza had laced it with his chakra so he'd been able to tell were his victims were, Kakashi- or Sakura?- eh, no matter, had mentioned it.
Alright, that was a way, but always creating a mist was really impractical. Especially for his teammates.
He shook himself. Not thinking about them.
The mist was such a good idea but he needed something more subtle, way more subtle.
Deep in thought about a working possibility he let his head fall back and made a chakra pulse to 'watch' the leaves above him.
It was so unsatisfactory because he only got a frozen image. He could 'see' the leaves alright, but he couldn't watch them dance in the wind-
Wind!
His eyes snapped open despite the ever-unyielding darkness that greeted him.
Could he lace his chakra with the wind?
No other way to find out than to try!
And that was what he did while concentrating. Jep, he could make out the wind brushing against something alright.
Though, after the wind had traveled a certain distance his chakra dispersed and with it the mental image.
And it had only been that single current. He needed more.
So he again started experimenting with his chakra; first sending it out all at once but seeing that it was way too obvious, he settled for sending his chakra along with whatever wind current passed him. It took some concentration but he was hoping that with practice it'd become automatic like tree- and water-walking.
There was only the problem of what would he do if there wasn't any wind? Could he create gusts of wind? That was something to think about… but what if that would be too obvious, could he maybe lace his chakra with the air? …Something to try out once he was back in his apartment.
As the sun began setting, Naruto returned to his apartment and then set to further experimenting.
He found that as long as he laced the air in a kind of bubble around him to the point that he'd only be able to detect something or someone moving in it, it wouldn't be too noticeable unless someone was as good at chakra sensing as him.
It didn't quite resolve his problem of navigating undetected in a building, unless he made some wind, but that was good enough for the time being, seeing as all his major problems had been solved.
Thinking about the wind- he had to find out how to make some. He had managed to get to the point where his chakra would be next to unnoticeable in the currents while he could still 'see' quite good but it wouldn't do somewhere where there was no natural wind, and if he couldn't produce some.
Hm, something else to think about, but anyway, his day had been pretty fruitful, so he'd first sleep and then see about his other problems.
The next day he practiced his pulse, hearing and reading, before going to the training ground once again to think about his wind problem.
He remembered Gaara's sister Temari having been able to produce gusts of wind. But she had had a fan. A biiit too obvious for him.
But he had seen jounin and Anbu use wind techniques like they used fire, earth or water and sometimes even lightning…
But he didn't know whether there was a technique like the one he needed, and even if, how was he to get his hands on such a technique?
He would've spied on the Anbu again, but didn't think he'd be able to pull it off undetected until he could use the wind effectively. Which he would need to watch people for to learn it… Damn.
Maybe he could make a technique himself? Was that possible? He supposed it must be like wishing; wanting to create a technique and then working at it… He'd heard of the previous Hokage inventing new jutsu after all, so why couldn't he?
But how exactly did one create a new jutsu?
…Maybe he could spy on some jounin? No risk, or at least a low risk if he was found…
Right, that settled it.
With that he wandered the training grounds in search for one that would be occupied by training jounin.
He did find one such training ground and spied on the jounin. He didn't find out how to create a new jutsu though.
But, what he did find out was that the chakra 'looked' different when they used different, if at all, elements.
Water was soothing and black, fire was volatile and purple, earth was warm and red and lightning was crackling and blue, usually light blue.
And wind- wind was sharp and unpredictable and- green, but different shades. A sharp gust was forest green, one that would make the leaves dance beautifully would be emerald, stormy wind was dark green whereas a light breeze would be light green… yeah he could see the connection.
And then there was the really dark green, almost black, but there were flecks of light green in it and first Naruto was confused until he saw that that was the kind the jounin tried to focus on learning. It was a strong but extremely sharp wind.
And somewhere along the line had come a chuunin – high, or low jounin, it was hard to tell, though he'd bet on the former – and they'd told him to make a sharp, blinding green that was almost white. Yikes.
First, when he'd moved back to a deserted training ground, he tried to do the beautiful emerald, but found that it didn't work, it was just to hard. So he tried dark green and it worked but it was so… no, just no. But good for practice anyway.
Thus he worked on the dark green until he could create and somewhat direct it as well and then moved to try the forest before finally deeming his control good enough for the nice emerald. It didn't quite work the way he wanted to, even after hours of work, but it was enough that he could, at last move on to lighter green.
Along the training he experimented and found that if he laced more chakra into the jutsus the colors would be brighter; not lighter, though, that was something else, but brighter.
Sunday, after having practiced his pulse, reading and hearing, when he had finally moved on to really mint green, he'd at one point pumped enough chakra into it that it moved like an awkward extension of his will – almost like an arm or something; again, something put away for later thought – and became a toxic, neon green.
He loved it.
But still, he found, he wanted to achieve what the chuunin had tried to; namely get his wind to an almost perfectly, blinding white.
It was late, ours after sundown, when he finally managed it. The chakra was almost white- still with a tinge of green though. Huh.
Ah well, it wasn't as if his time was up.
At least now, he'd found that after having worked up his way to green-tinged white that he could manipulated dark green so easily that it barely took any effort.
Forest was also still quite good.
Emerald wasn't as easy, but still easy enough that he was positive he could work with it.
Mint green still needed way more practice though.
Light green even more, green-tinged white not to mention.
He practiced some more with emerald until he was sure his chakra wouldn't be detected on it before finally retiring for the night.
A pulse through his watch showed two o'clock in the morning. Yay.
Iruka sighed, massaging his temples. He shouldn't have yelled at Naruto like that. Despite being sometimes overbearing, the blonde didn't deserve being used as a way of venting Iruka's frustration.
He'd just been so stressed with the work and the impending festival and added to that the bad headache-
The academy teacher sighed again. He'd apologize tomorrow. Thoroughly.
Just somehow tomorrow turned into next day, because there was still so much paperwork that needed to be finished... And then the next. And the next…
It was Wednesday when the workload finally lessened enough, that he thought he'd give Naruto a surprise visit and invite him for ramen. He really owed it the blonde for being that rotten to him and then not apologizing for so long.
It had been the day of the festival, Iruka thought as he packed up and headed out of the academy, everything had been a bit more hectic that day to get everything done in time so they could enjoy the Memorial Day-
Fuck. Iruka cursed thoroughly at realizing that Naruto, too, despite him being so young, had been a victim of that day. After all, it had been the day his parents had died and the Kyuubi got sealed into him.
No wonder he'd tried so obstinately to get him to spend time with the small blonde.
He cursed again. And he'd blown him off awfully. Damn.
Then he froze and felt even worse. It had been Naruto's birthday. Fuck. How could he have screwed up that badly?
Naruto had just returned home from a day of boring D-ranks when he sensed a knock on his door.
By now he had found out that using the chakra hearing all the time brought him really bad headaches up to the point where his nose started bleeding, so he learned to use his chakra wind instead and only use the hearing when necessary.
Also he'd found that for indoors, tea green was perfect. For outside, he still preferred emerald; since he could use the natural wind there, it wasn't really evident what he was doing.
After all, no one on his team, or anyone he'd run into these last three days, really, had noticed his stupidity in wishing himself blind and deaf. Not even Kakashi-sensei who always preached about 'looking underneath the underneath' had noticed, that he was sure of.
So, he warily opened the door while activating his hearing, just to find Iruka standing in front of him with a crushed expression.
And suddenly Naruto found himself in his sensei's arms as the other frantically apologized. "I'm so sorry Naruto! I was just so damn busy the whole time and fuck; I know that's no real excuse and I know I've really been an ass to you, but I'm sorry! I'm really, really sorry about being so awful to you on your birthday and I'll make it up to you, okay?"
Naruto stood frozen. …What? Had he just- He was sure it was his new 'hearing' that was still off because he could swear that there was a human being apologizing to him- but now, Iruka repeated himself… He'd even- "Y-You r-rememb-bered?"
Iruka eased his hold on him and leaned back to look him in the eyes. "Yeah, and I'm really, really sorry, but… belated congratulations to having aged another year."
Naruto's eyes widened. This was too good to be true. No, Iruka had- had- "B-But last Thursday- y-you c-called me d-demon…"
"What are you-" Iruka's eyes widened and then his voice turned frantic, "No, no! No, I didn't call you- no, I had been thinking about the head teacher giving us, me so much work- I- fuck, you've got to believe me, I didn't call you demon- I- I was stressed out and had a headache and I thought you'd already left after I'd yelled at you- fuck, please believe me, I'd never call you a demon, otouto-"
Naruto looked at the other stunned. There Iruka was, frantically apologizing. To him. And- it sounded so sincere… and he noticed that Iruka had been using bad words, something he never did- Naruto was almost afraid to believe that this was real and- then he registered the last word his sensei had spoken. "O…tou…to…?"
He barely noticed that his eyes had widened considerably, and he didn't yet have a technique to notice that there was such a desperate hope in his gaze that Iruka couldn't bring himself to feel ashamed for his slip up or even think about retracting the statement.
The tears gathering in the boy's eyes did it for Iruka and he found he couldn't stay silent about it, not in good conscience. He owed the little blonde at least that much. "Yeah, I believe I did just call you my little brother." And it was true anyway. Somehow, sometime, the brat had wormed his way into his heart until he found he had started regarding the other like a little brother.
Naruto couldn't- was so afraid to hope- surely this was just a dream… he'd wake up and would be alone again because this couldn't be real, because no one had ever loved him before-
Had- Had he maybe, finally, wished for himself to be loved hard enough…?
And then Iruka confirmed his thoughts with just that little sentence of "Yeah, I believe I did just call you my little brother." And he couldn't keep himself from bursting into tears and finally hugging Iruka back.
AN: Please review!