Chapter 2: Absence of Living
Her soft, plaintive sounds of distress finally penetrated through the thick haze of his euphoria. Clearing his head enough to pull away from her delicious lips. His eyes flying wide in both alarm and growing appreciation of how perfectly formed her naked body truly was. His desire for her growing and beginning to overcome his common sense. Once again his eyes began to devour her, licking her flesh subtly with his rapt stare. Her hair cascaded down her back, flowing like a golden river, still shimmering with moisture. Curling sweetly just behind her knees, providing her a demure shield against her sweetly curving butt. Her skin was smooth, creamy and flawless like silk. Almost glowing as if enhanced by some inner fire. With pert round breasts, their subtle bouncing as she moved away drawing his eyes like a moth to a flame. Her delicate nipples were gorgeous, tiny pink buttons thrusting out towards him in welcome. Such alluring soft orbs he wanted nothing more then to touch them. To caress them fondly and mold them in the palms of his hands. Below was her slender flanks, with her toned flat stomach and curving hips that mirrored that of some elegant stringed instrument. The cutest tuft of blonde hair covered her most private place between her legs. His heart was thundering in his ears with excitement, at the unbelievably sexy body she laid claim to. All kinds of very naughty images flashed through his mind as to what he wanted to do with her exquisitely supple body. The fierce attraction he had to her was startling, having never experienced such intense emotions like this before. He understood it as a version of lust, having felt that many times towards the sex models in his comic's, magazines and various erotic video's he had collected. He felt his arousal aching, straining the fabric of his pants, making his head dizzy and thoughts clouded by desire. But the attraction was more then just simple desire, it hummed inside of him like a blazing fire. Pooling like hot sweet nectar inside his belly, warming him in so many more ways then just the physical. His skin was tingling with her nearness, an unbelievable yearning expanding in his heart as he was compelled to pull her against him. Instead he found himself just staring dumbstruck down at her nude form unsure what to say, what to do or how to act. His finger's curling and stretching nervously at his sides, as he forced his compulsions to have his way with her down deep.
She stood silent, blinking rapidly up at him to keep her tears at bay. As she fought down her own embarrassment of being on complete display before him. Her whole body glowing a heated pink, as she valiantly attempted to cover her breasts and womanhood with her arms and hands. Looking utterly vulnerable and humiliated beneath his piercing and unwavering gaze. His ogling had only been for a few seconds, but it felt like he had been staring at her for an eternity.
Then crisp clear clarity of what he was doing struck him like a blow. It dawned upon him how rude and disrespectful he had acted. His mind and body turned as cold as ice, as deep humiliation set in. He quickly ducked his head, a heated blush flowing over his own face. "Gomen..." he breathed, closing his eyes and taking flustered steps away from her towards the doorway. Walking blind into the door a couple times, before realizing he needed to crack his eyes open a bit to navigate properly out of the narrow bathroom.
"Oh...Gomen ni sai..." He called in a very embarrassed wavering voice as he shuffled down the hall. Feeling like a total cretin for acting so bold with her.
Slumping into the overly stuffed arm chair in the living room, not knowing what to do with himself. His mind churning over very confusing and complicated emotions. He had been so overcome with relief and joy that she was still alive. He had acted with out rational thought and now regretted his forceful treatment of her. He had acted like a total Hentai!
But she wasn't real...why was he treating her like she was a living, feeling young woman? She was a figment of his imagination...he shouldn't feel guilty for how he acted. She was a plaything of his mind...right. He should not have to feel so horrible about how he had forced her to kiss him. Her towel fell off because he willed it to not because of his abrupt man handling of her. Yet the hurt and humiliated emotions that crossed her face were not imagined. Or were they? Everything was so convoluted he felt like screaming.
He needed to go for a run, clear his mind and try to figure out what was going on. With a grunt of agreement with himself he rose swiftly from the chair and headed for his bedroom. A small room that abutted the front wall just before the kitchen.
It was as vacant and lifeless as the living room. With only the bare necessities for sleeping within. He had a simple iron bed frame with a double sized mattress tucked inside. The black bed sheets and dark navy comforter was twisted and bunched into a far corner of the mattress. The bed sat against the room's large front window. The warm light of the sun splintering through the slates of a bamboo blind, that was only half way closed. An old wooden dresser sat against the far wall near the modest sized closet. Cluttered with brushes and combs, simple plastic and glass ornate bottles of skin cream and cologne. The cream looked nearly empty, while the masculine perfume was clearly untouched. An obvious symbol of his non-existent love life.
A matching side table to the dresser sat beside the bed with a silver goose neck lamp set defgon top. Not a scrap of clothes littered the wooden laminate floor, all tucked away into a laundry sack behind the door.
Mamoru paid no attention to the sounds of her now padding around the living room, or the creak of his cupboards being opened the closed as she rummaged in the kitchen. Dressing in a pair of grey sweats and white long sleeve shirt. Throwing on a black track jacket incase their was a crisp wind blowing. It wasn't quite spring so the days could still be rather cold. It was that limbo time between seasons, when the chill and barren days of winter still lingered. Yet one could smell the sweet scent of new life just about to burst forth, but it still remained sleeping beneath the thin layer of frost. It was during these transition times that he felt the most anxious, when he couldn't be certain of the weather. Never able to prepare adequately enough, it made him irritable when what he expected from the day turned around and left him floundering. He was never one to just go with the flow, the very concept of being able to relax and take things as they come. Gave him a severe allergic reaction, akin to an itchy rash or even hives. He liked his life planned out and comfortingly boring. He hated the unsuspected, even the most simple like the ever changing weather was enough to send him over the edge.
He swiftly left his bedroom, not paying her a glance as he headed to put on his sneaker's. Dressed once more in her flimsy white shift, her hair once again styled in it's buns and tails. She had been searching for something to eat within his kitchen's back cupboards, sadly finding them as barren and empty as his furnishings. Hearing his heavy footsteps pass in front of the island, she turned curiously to find him breezing into the front entry way.
Closing the cupboard door absently she followed him out of the apartment and down onto the streets of Tokyo. Setting aside her need for food compelled to follow as if she was tethered to him by some unseen force.
Mamoru took to the rarely used trails of Shiba Park, setting an intense pace hoping to work through his confusion. Jogging down the narrow over grown footpaths that wound like a thin ribbon deep in the trees. Navigating along his well worn path around the man made lake that took up a large portion of the nature reserve on this side of the park. He could just make out the shimmering water twinkling between the blur of thick tree trunks. The sunlight was fragmenting over the heavy woodland, dancing through the branches and around the underbrush. Casting the forest in a gentle golden hue that made the colors of the frozen grass look more lush, the thin layer of budding leaves upon the trees and bushes more full. Tricking the visual senses to believe that spring was starting early. The quiet beauty of the morning was ignored by the brooding dark haired man seeking to out run his current problems.
Glancing frustratingly over to his strange companion, who had decided to accompany him. All he wanted was a little time alone to figure things out, a part of him was irritated with her for following him. Another part of him was relieved she stayed nearby, thankful even. While another part of him was intensely frustrated with himself for being so contradictory.
She floated beside him, her legs tucked up near her bum. Arms outstretched for balance and leaning forward as if being held aloft by invisible wings. She had started out just walking when they left the apartment but when he had broken out into a full run upon reaching the park. She had leapt into the air, remaining beside him in a flying pose ever since. She looked breathtakingly angelic with her nearly translucent white gown fluttering around her knees, long pony tails trailing behind her like bright golden ribbons. Soaring blissfully along beside him as if my magic. Admiring the majestic old forest of birch, elm and oaks around her. Her eyes filled with wonder and awe, no longer fearful with the sunlight illuminating every inch of the once shadowed underbrush.
The sight of her flying never phased him, she was just a hallucination anyway. Shaking his head with a rueful grin, he took it all in stride, focusing on his much needed run around the lake.
It was late morning when he finished his run, leaving the huge park on the other side of Azabu-ku. Crossing a worn wooden plank and pole bridge and then under a red painted Torrii that acted like a gateway. Back onto the sidewalk that was adjacent to the commercial district of Azabu-Juban. His typical route ending up at a local coffee shop known as the Naked Bean, a few blocks away. A small trendy espresso cafe', that boasted the best cakes and pastries this side of Kyoto. It saw a lot of traffic from the University since rent on this side of the city was decent, and many subway stations for the Tokyo Metro were nearby. The coffee shop had sorta become a hub between the young working class and the up and coming professionals in the city.
Mamoru entered the quaint establishment through the glass entry door, the string of bells set above the door jingled merrily announcing his entrance annoyingly. All the costumer's instantly glanced up from what they were doing to notice him. With a huff he cast the thin rope of jingle bells a dirty look, moving slowly aside giving his invisible girl time to dart inside. He couldn't understand how some physic's of his world affected her while other's did not. She could not move through doors, yet no one seemed to see her but him.
He glanced around the brightly lit cafe' of thread bare floral couches and delicate armchairs, ascertaining how stifling the crowds might be. The inside of the coffee parlour looked like something right off of a New York street corner. With poorly made abstract paintings of bold washes of colour and surreal landscapes that defied all logic, mounted proudly on the beige walls. The round french cafe' tables were mostly filled already with young people, visiting or typing on laptops. Their backpacks and messenger bags draped over the chairs haphazardly. A small dais was set up at the back of the shop for weekend poetry and karaoke nights.
The Naked Bean was the embodiment of everything trendy and mainstream in modern society. Enticing the young women to use it as a meeting spot for dates and mindless conversations. In the end drawing a large group of single young men looking to hook up with those very same pretty girls. The cafe' could be quite crowded on the weekends, but bearable in the mornings during the week. So Mamoru planned his excursions into the place accordingly. He never came for the fake ambience, he honestly just loved the coffee they brewed. They took the time and care to make a really tasty cup of caffeine, he wasn't into all the trendy drinks they served. Just a nice rich columbian bean with absolutely nothing tainting it's taste. It was a nice treat when he felt stressed.
The smell of coffee was sharp and somewhat overwhelming upon entering the place. As he crossed the room towards the long glass display counter, filled with cakes and pastries. He kept his eyes down not wanting to draw any attention. The ordering counter was a thick mahogany attached on the far side. He gave the cute brunette, dressed casually in a pair of black slacks and white blouse behind the counter, a faint smile as she looked up briefly from her ipod to acknowledge him. She was an incredibly attractive college student, with huge breasts and a tiny waist.
Mamoru was instantly intimidated, stuttering out his order as if he was affected by turrets syndrome. Cursing himself inwardly at how pathetic he must look, like some silly, inexperienced middle schooler. He quickly struggled through his order of a large black coffee to go, wanting to put as much distance as he could from this embarrassing situation.
The woman barely past him a glance, moving to prepare his drink. Mamoru sighed at her casual dismissal, absently scratching the scruffy beard forming on his chin. Taking note bitterly that he didn't even warrant a second glance, it stung but what did he expect. He always seemed to look barely put together as it was. He was used to women not being even remotely attracted to him, putting no effort into how he looked what should he expect. Needing to hide the fact that his face was beet red. Casting his companion odd looks as he found her staring with a wide eyed longing at the cakes inside the display beside him.
Mamoru was perplexed, wondering if she was hungry? Did figments of his imagination require sustenance? He kept giving her human qualities, understanding that he truly wanted someone in his life right now. Yet she seemed so much more alive then a mere hallucination.
Making a hasty exit with his tall beige styrofoam cup a few minutes later, not noticing how his dream girl huffed in irritation. Casting the glass case a final look of sad yearning over her shoulder before scrambling after him, slipping through the glass door as it was closing. Mamoru's face was scrunched up in concentration as he had forgot a cardboard protector cuff and now the steamy hot beverage inside was burning his fingertips. Taking several deep scalding sips from the non-spill top, to clear some space in the container. To rest his finger's comfortable away from the heat. Exhaling, grimacing and dancing in place in pain, as the coffee burned all the way down his throat like drinking lava. He could hear faint laughter behind him, it was bright and almost musical. Turning to smirk back over his shoulder at his dream girl who seemed to be enjoying his spastic dance of burning agony.
He jumped on the first bus, making sure to pause in the doorway long enough for his little companion to scuttle on ahead of him. He made it up to the top step to find her standing uncertainly down the aisle, glancing around the smothering crowds of commuter's pressed in around her. Mamoru had the strange thought he needed to rush to her side and shield her from all the stranger's who would no doubt be brushing up against her. Only to stand in mute bafflement two steps away from her as an elderly old man merely moved straight through her! The thin surface of reality of her form suddenly disturbed. Bending and rippling like the view of the bottom of a river after a stone had been thrown into it. He moved aside as the old man shuffled past and proceeded out of the bus. All thoughts of her being alive and in need of food now washed away, as the fact that she was just a figment of his mind once more put into focus. He found a seat at the back of the bus, having to wedge himself in between two business men in rumpled suits. Having a hard time pretending she was real again. He barely paid her a glance, not wanting to be seen as strange. As she stood before him, a concerned frown gracing her angelic features wondering why he was ignoring her now.
His mind screaming at him that just this morning she had been solid, a living, breathing woman he had touched, kissed and unintentionally disrobed. How could no one see her, how did that man just walk right through her? As if she was a ghost? Now his mind was twisting into knots, over the possibilities that he was being haunted...quickly shaking his head of the notion. It was always more likely she was a part of his madness and the fact that he could see her, touch her was because she was so deeply entrenched as his new obsession. He felt like banging his head against a wall, it was to much to take.
Was she real...was she not...what the hell was she!
Finding a less then satisfying conclusion to his troubled thoughts, he headed over to Crown for his daily shift. Uncaring that he smelled of sweat and hadn't bothered to brush his teeth. He just wanted to get his work over with so he could retreat home and wallow in the fact that finally he had become totally unhinged.
"How is he today?" Unasuki inquired as she came gliding up to the Arcade's front counter. Heading over right after school since she had a half day. Not bothering to go home and change she was still dressed in her uniform. Glancing around the empty Arcade in growing concern, not noticing Mamoru anywhere.
"Hiding in the men's toilets." Motoki commented, before rising into view behind the ancient, dented metal till. That sat as an after thought at the very edge of the long glass countertop. Dressed as always in a pair of tan slacks and a white dress shirt with his trusty apron tied up around front. He wore the very same outfit everyday he worked, a chosen uniform to cut back on the amount decisions he had make.
He slammed his palm in irritation into the side of the machine, when pushing the release button didn't work yet again. He punched it a couple times for good measure, having a mini tantrum on the inanimate object.
"Drawer seized again?" Una commented lightly.
"This thing hates me!" He snarled, as Una leaned over the counter smacking it on the bottom left corner smartly before reaching over the stubborn till and pushing the very same button as Motoki. With a loud thunk the drawer popped out. To Motoki's chargin, now glaring with resentment at his little sister.
"How do you do that." He whined. His sister could be so annoying at times. Things just always worked out for her, with little effort. School, friends, even her job up at the Parlour was better. Their parents just seemed to favour her. While his father forced him to manage the family's first business. This run down old Arcade. His father never put any extra money into the place, letting things wear out and fall apart. While he was expected to be able to keep this place running and financially successful. Having to work a hell of a lot harder then his sister. Just to keep face in their family's fiercely competitive dynamic.
Some times he couldn't help but despise her.
"It just likes me, I guess." She shrugged, heading once more on her mission down the back hall.
As she neared the bathroom doors, she could hear Mamoru's deep voice in hushed conversation with someone. Curious, Una pressed her ear against the wooden door. Is was so out of character for their nearly mute employee to be talking so avidly with someone.
Mamoru was pacing under the bright lights of the open floor before the line of white porcelain sinks, embedded into a long white counter. Scrutinizing his dream girl out of the corner of his eyes. As she perched on her bum, upon the edge of the far sink as if she weighed nothing. Watching him walk back and forth with a faintly curious expression. Mostly she seemed sweetly oblivious as to why he was so agitated. Just smiling and glancing around innocently around the white on white room.
"I can't decide if your real or imagined." he mused, coming up before her. Kneeling down so they were eye to eye. He flanked her legs with his arms, pressing his palms flat against the counter. Seeking to steady himself as he was inches away from her. The sweet clean scent of summer flower's seemed to permeate around her. A light perfume that he found himself basking in, taking a slow breath as he savoured her once again. Reigning himself in, not allowing himself to be consumed by his illogical desire for a delusion. He cleared his throat and squeezed his eyes shut for a moment.
Her smile brightened as he drew near, her blue eyes gleaming with an inner joy that was alien to him. With a thin lipped grimace he poked her square between the eyes. With a yelp she slid into the sink, casting him an irritated look. Mamoru smirked, it was the first time she had displayed frustration with him.
He nodded and stood up. "I guess I will just have to approach this scientificly. " returning to his pacing.
"What defines life..." He stated his question, as she made soft grumpy sounds pulling her butt back out of the sink and hoping down. He glanced back over his shoulder at her, finding curiously that her gown around her bum was wet. The fact that this reality affected her at times was the most intriguing. Was she a living creature that could phase in and out of real life at will? Or was she just in his mind?
He quickly collected himself back on his train of thought. " A living organism must be able to metabolize, grow, respond to stimuli and adapt to it's environment." Mamoru was pacing again tapping the side of his chin thoughtfully.
His little companion mimicked him, pacing in his wake and tapping her chin as well. Frowning in contemplation just as he was.
Mamoru noticed her cute antics through the line of mirrors above the sinks, chuckling softly as he plotted his second test. He abruptly stopped, feeling her small body collide with his as she wasn't as quick to react. Falling with a small cry of alarm back on her butt. With a rueful laugh he turned and knelt down before her, as she slowly sat up cradling the side of her head with a palm.
She felt so physically real! At least to him.
"Well, you respond to stimuli fine, you are just slow to adapt to sudden changes to your environment?" He smiled with amusement, then asked.
"Are you alright?" his voice was soft and gentle with genuine concern. It had been a test, the start of many he decided to do to her to determine if she was alive.
She moaned and nodded, giving him a confused almost hurt look. Mamoru's chest instantly tightened in regret.
She displayed all kinds of emotions, if he wasn't careful he might inadvertently drive her to hate him. He never wanted to hurt her, he just wanted to find out if he was still sane.
"Here let me help you up." He slowly stood taking her hand in his and gently pulling her up to her feet.
As soon as their hands touched a jolt ran through him, like an electric charge. He clenched his teeth as to not cry out, not wanting to alarm her. Since she was not reacting at all to this one sided pain.
As soon as she found her feet he released her hand, rubbing his own up and down his thigh to releave the odd tingling sensation as if he had just gripped a live wire.
Again the tell tale grumbling of her stomach echoed out to him. She giggled and clutched her belly, blushing in embarrassment.
"Your hungry." He stated, mimicking placing food in his mouth. Receiving a curt nod from her. "Ok, so how do I feed you...what do I feed you?" He debated, perplexed as to how feeding a figment of his delirium was going to work. Pondering for a bit he figured if could imagine her, he could conjure her up some pretend food too.
Offering her his empty hands, in the position of offering her something. He stared down at his barren palms, envisioning a delightful bento of rice, tuna sashimi and pickled vegetables. She stared down at his empty hands in confusion, then up at him oddly. Raising her eyebrows in question as nothing seemed to be happening besides watching him think to hard and get very red in the face with the effort.
Tired of watching him mentally fight with thin air, the veins along his temple pulsing as if he was getting close to an aneurism. She turned on her heel and headed for the bathroom door.
As if on cue a light knocking issued from the other side, breaking Mamoru's concentration.
"Mamoru-kun...are you alright in there. Who are you talking too?" Una called nervously.
"Uh..." Mamoru was at a loss as to cover up his strange behaviour. "Working." He called back lamely after a moments thought.
"Of course, cause it takes over forty-five minutes to clean the men's bathroom." Una laughed, "Seriously, who is in there with you." She pressured insistently.
His dream girl was intrigued by the voice on the other side of the door and had her ear pressed up against the wood. An very intent look upon her face, curious as to who was speaking on the other side.
"Ah, no...one. Just talking to myself. Practicing my lines for a play." He laughed back. Hoping like hell she would drop it.
Unasuki arched an eyebrow at the far fetched excuse. The cronicly shy Chiba, Mamoru enlisting for a public performance. Would be when the world was coming to an end. She didn't believe it for one second.
"You missed our appointment yesterday, so I will expect you to show up after your shift today..." she finished. "No excuses or running away this time, or I'll just follow you home." She threatened in a serious yet cheerful voice. Her footfalls quickly falling away.
Mamoru groaned and rolled his eyes. While his dream girl glanced back and forth from the wooden door to him in blank curiosity.
"Well, I can't hide in here my whole shift. I have cleaning to do. If you can wait just a little bit more. I will try and figure out what you eat in a little while." He offered, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder.
She glanced down at his hand, then cocked her head to the side with confusion. She could feel his emotions and gauge a little about what he was saying to her. But she had no idea what he was talking about. She felt his kindness, the genuine feeling that he truly cared towards her well being. That he wished for her to be safe and happy and that he wanted to do right by her. He just didn't know how.
Mamoru opened the door, allowing her to proceed him into the short hall.
She followed him around the close to empty Arcade as he swept, the flashing lights and beeping music attracting her attention almost continuously. She was like a kid, wide eyed and amazed at every game terminal they past by. Entranced by the intro video's of every game, losing track of him to watch each animation till the end. Falling behind him several times and having to scramble to catch up, or stand lost and forlorn for a few moments, craning her neck and turning in circles to catch sight of him. As he continuously moved around the main room, not paying any attention to her in the least. Not wanting to seem odd, to Motoki. Mamoru had purposefully sought to ignore her yet again.
She grew more courageous as the hours past, growing bored of watching him sweep, mop and dust the machines. She began to explore the arcade on her own, lightly tapping buttons and playing around with joysticks. Mamoru arched a brow as he caught sight of her attempting to figure out how a racing console worked. Sitting in the bucket seat, spinning the wheel absently as she watched the scrolling landscape upon the screen.
The wheel turned, it moved! He swore on his ancestor's he wasn't imagining it, she could affect her surroundings. Then his exhilaration soured, as he began to doubt himself all over again.
Or he just envisioned the wheel turning. The fact was he couldn't never really trust what his eyes saw. The chaos that lived inside his head, made his perception of reality totally untrustworthy. With a resigned groan he continued to mop the lino. Loosing track of her again as he cleaned.
Several minutes past while he brooded, Motoki's angry grumbling in the back office finally penetrating his haze of personal frustrations. Mamoru moved leisurely towards the small room at the front of the back hall. Not wanting to look like he was rudely snooping into his boss's business. He faked that he was re-moping the hall, glancing into the normally cluttered office. To find it totally trashed, odds and ends of outdoor clothing and moldy wrappers littered every square inch of floor. Looking like a garbage bomb had gone off inside. Mamoru cringed at the mess, Motoki on a kind note was a bit disorganized. In reality the man lived is life on the edge of chaos. He filing system consisted of several piles of file folder's discarded around the office, nothing ever seemed to find it's way back into any proper order. It didn't surprise him that Motoki had lost something.
"Were is it..." The blonde vented by rummaging with new vigour through another locker. The small set of lockers for employee's stood on the far end of the office, none were ever used by anyone but Motoki. Just another storage device to horde his forgotten belongings. Tossing a scarf, a pair of grey worn thin sneaker's and a dirty, dented metal bento box over his head. They landed in the doorway, the bento bouncing off the wooden frame with a clang.
"Uhm...Motoki-san?" Mamoru sought a quiet intervention, knowing if the man created anymore of a mess. He would end up having to help him clean and reorganize the office. Which meant he would have to stay longer today.
"I skipped breakfast this morning cause I slept in..cause I was up late studying for a mid-term." He sounded like some whining child seeking sympathy.
Mamoru raised an eyebrow incredulously knowing the man better. He was the high king of procrastination. He doubted he was studying late into the night. More then likely he was obsessed with a new video game and refused to go to sleep when he should have.
"Look, I am starving...man. I was looking forward to my bento lunch all morning!" He refused to confess, his voice lowering and growing more agitated.
"Perhaps you took it to the front desk?" He offered, casting a mournful look around the disaster the office was in. Brushing a hand nervously through his hair.
Motoki was naturally kinda lazy and sloth like, about this office. Leaving things scattered about and never really putting anything away. Which made Mamoru never want to see the man's apartment. He shuttered in revulsion just thinking about how much of a disaster Motoki's living area might be. With molding food hiding under the furniture and various other clutter piled up upon the floor.
Mamoru on the other hand was somewhat over organized, a tactic to maintain a bit of order in his life. He always made sure everything he owned had it's own place and was were it should be before bed. He admitted he had developed OCD, to cope with his psychosis. He found the fact bitterly funny, he had cultivated a disorder to help deal with another disorder.
He never used his locker inside the office, refusing to enter the disgusting confines of paper chaos and garbage Motoki kept it in. Just seeing it everyday was a struggle, he couldn't handle the mess. It made him jittery and itching all over, so he avoided this room like the plague.
Motoki pushed past him and charged back to the front counter. Determined to find his lunch, hoping like hell he had just misplaced it up front. Mamoru watched him disappear behind the counter, only to reappear even more frazzled then before. Starting to toss things off the shelves under the counter with a clattering vengeance. Having an all out man-trum, complete with swearing and frustrated tears glistening in his hazel eyes.
"Oh...kami..." Mamoru moaned, it was going to be a long shift.
Delighted bursts of happy sounds echoed to him from the men's bathroom. Drawing his attention from Motoki's childish display to the conundrum as to what happened to his Dream girl. Ducking into the bathroom he was only mildly surprised to find her sitting cross legged in the back corner of the urinal alcove. Happily devouring Motoki's nearly empty bento, she must have come across it during her explorations he surmised. She had flecks of rice decorating each cute little cheek, the man's chop sticks poised near her open mouth with a piece of sushi dangling there. She smiled broadly at him before popping the morsel into her mouth. Chewing slowly, relishing every sensation, every subtle flavour of the roll.
"Well, that answer's what you eat." He sweat dropped and sulked out of the room. Well, that proved she was alive! He's joy was tempered though. He would have to take the blame for eating Motoki's lunch. He could not explain away that his delusion had ate his bosses food, without sounding like a total nut job. He was a nut job though...but the whole world didn't need to know that.
The afternoon soon spiralled from annoyingly unbearable to total humiliation hell! After having to subjugate himself by taking the blame for eating the man's lunch. He had to help him clean up and endure listening to him bemoan his slow starvation for hours on end. While trying valiantly to hold his tongue and maintain a fake sympathy. Motoki was making him feel absolutely horrible, never easing up on him one bit. It was like his world was ending just because he was hungry. As he constantly threw snide comments concerning thievery and lack of respect for ones superior's towards him. It was a slow torture, after a couple hours of it he debated how painful it would be to rip his ears off. He doubted the pain of self mutilation would hold a candle to having to listen to a grown man whimper and whine like a disgruntled child for hours. Finally salvation came, as Unasuki had sent the delivery boy over with a hamburger and fries after enduring a long woe is me conversation over the phone with him. Only after the man had ate did his mood improve, but it was to late. Mamoru was now so uncomfortable and irritated by him he just wanted to get some space.
While his dream girl had spent the rest of the afternoon watching him try and work. while fuming and giving Motoki dirty looks behind his back. Offering Mamoru warm contented smiles every time he glanced her way. Not picking up on the ceaseless if subtle accusations of immoral behaviour he was enduring from his boss thanks to her thievery.
Finally with the sun was setting into the landscape of towers, he was free. The Arcade was just starting to fill up with the after school crowd and Mamoru was thankful to get out of there.
Jogging out of the Arcade into the faint twilight street, heading towards his customary bus stop at the end of the block. The coming night was crisp, the cool temperature of the day sinking towards a bitter cold. Not prepared for the colder temperatures, Mamoru zipped up his thin black track jacket in a vain attempt to keep warm. Tucking his bare hands under his armpits and hunching forward. He was a lean, muscular man with very little body fat so he got cold easily. Thankful at least to be wearing his black track jacket, a long sleeve shirt and sweats. It was modest protection against the blustery weather, but good enough to see him home.
Getting trapped at a Don't walk sign on the corner across from Fruits Parlour Crown. He had no idea what or whom was waiting for him on the other side. Unasuki was prepared tonight, having forced Motoki to give her Mamoru's work schedule for the rest of the week. Blackmailing him with food from the Parlour earlier today, since he was currently broke and couldn't afford take out. Dressed in the cheerful yellow dress, of the Parlour's uniform. The flowing mini skirt barely covering her thighs. Goose flesh was sprinkled up her bare legs, as she hopped on her toes to keep warm. The thin dress was not suitable for the crisp wind outside and she felt miserably cold. The white apron tied up at her back, snapped and tossed around her hips. The writing pad and pen hidden in the front pouch banging against her hip, only adding to her misery.
She had been hanging out on the outer front stairwell since his shift ended ten minutes ago. Scanning the street ahead from her position up on the second story of the mini mall. Like a spider lurking in the shadows, waiting with infinite patience for her prey. She caught sight of Mamoru preparing to cross the intersection and skipped down the steps intent on snatching him off the street. He weaved into the foot traffic, his movements concise and measured. As if everything he did was well planned and well thought out, even his pace. Catching sight of her, non-nonchalantly leaning against the metal pole of the intersections traffic light. His stormy blue grey eyes flying wide in alarm, his heart lurching into his throat at the impending awkward confrontation.
He hadn't the patience for some well meaning but annoying intrusion into his private life or the inclination to fall into her supposed trap. So just like the night before he cut and run, dashing back through the crowds to the far side of the street. Just in time to lunge into the same transit bus pulling away from the street corner.
As he sat down with a sigh of relief, he caught sight of Una out the window, shaking her fist at him mouthing curses that he had out maneuvered her yet again. Mamoru thumped his head against the back of his seat in exhaustion. Rolling his head to the side to finally acknowledge his dream girl with a small smile. Finding her once again absent.
Alarmed he shot to his feet, his heart hammering in his chest threatening to burst from his rib cage in fear. Scanning the crowded bus in a panic with no sign of her. Reviewing patheticly the last few minutes, so certain she had been right beside him the whole time. Until he abruptly changed direction and ran full speed back across the street!
"Oh...god..." he breathed, a cold clammy sweat bathing his body. His knee's trembling and ready to go out as terror latched onto his heart. He'd lost her...
Unasuki watched the bus pull away with a sense of failure falling over her. On Sunday, Mamoru would be going to the Cemetery all alone like he did every year. She knew from their brief conversations that he would find it very difficult. She did not want him to go through that horrible day all by himself again.
"Why won't you let me in?" she sniffled. With a sigh of regret she shuffled her feet back towards the glass facade of the mini mall. Not perceiving in any way the silent, slightly scared companion that had latched onto her.
The golden haired apparition floated along side Unasuki, having lost her true anchor to this world. She felt lost and very alone. So she followed the closest link she had to him, this young woman who desperately wanted to talk to him. Keeping her spirits up, not wanting to give into her fear. Trusting somewhat blindly that he would return for her. She just had to be patient and wait, he would find her again. Trailing in Unasuki's wake, casting worried looks over her shoulder in the same direction the bus had gone.
Mamoru flew off the bus at it's next stop, his mind reeling with new somewhat frightening possibilities. The fact that she just didn't appeared like a spectre where ever he was, that he could actually loose her was just another piece to the puzzle of her existence. She was alive! He had to come to grips with the fact that she wasn't imagined.
Not knowing what to do or even how to call out to her, having never found out her name or even had a true conversation with her. He merely moved on instinct. Flying full speed back down the street, towards the last place he had seen her. The huge intersection before Fruits Parlour Crown. Twisting and dodging through the foot traffic, not bothering to even apologize to the unlucky pedestrian's he inadvertently shoved aside or merely trampled over.
Full night had descended by the time he got back, having run so hard for such an extended period. He was panting and huffing and completely out of breath. Feeling dizzy and near collapse he leaned against the very same traffic sign Unasuki had been. He was in a complete state of panic now, his body shivering with pent up emotions, his body aching with tension. Tight and vibrating like a rubber band about to snap. Feeling like he wanted to explode in every direction all at once. His bleak mind taunting him with self loathing for not waiting for her, for not watching for her. He felt like the lowest, uncaring bastard in the universe. She was his...that intimate connection he felt toward her, was something akin to a sense of ownership but far more intense.
She was more then just some long buried piece of him, or some whimsical creation of his lunacy... but something far more profound. A living being that only he could perceive, he didn't understand her true purpose to being in his life. But she was alive and she was his...
He needed to find her...but how?
Then as if some unseen force guided his head, he turned drunkenly to face the upper glass windows of the Fruit's Parlour high above the street. Finding to his utter astonishment within the warm atmosphere, his girl gliding silently behind Unasuki as she tended to the front booths within the restaurant.
He was sprinting for the stairs at a blinding speed, both exhilaration and insurmountable gratitude coursing through him. The fates that be, had granted him yet another chance. He wasn't going to squander it! This time he was going to take proper care of her.
Scrambling up the steps and bursting through the front door like a bullet shot from a gun. The glass door slammed open announcing his entrance quite loudly.
His girl spun around in fright by the sudden abrupt sound of someone exploding into the cafe'. As if she was expecting to be under some kind of attack. Her long golden tails whipping in an wide arc around her bare shoulder's. Her startled, somewhat frightened face softening into thankful tears as she saw him. Standing before the glass front door, heaving for breath and locking his intense gaze with her's. His expression was flat, a stern yet thankful warmth held in his eyes only, as he looked at her. His body still humming with the left over adrenaline from his panic, now trembling in both anticipation and relief as she ran for him. Her face bright, eyes glossy with unshed tears. Leaping upon him and wrapping her arms around his neck and holding on tight. He could feel her fierce heart beat against his chest, matching the rapid fire beating of his own heart.
Mamoru sighed and wrapped his own arms around her, ducking his head into the nape of her neck. Breathing her in, letting her naturally sweet perfume overtake him. She was so real to him in this moment, her small body warm and soft in all the right places. Yielding willingly to his demands of holding her far to tight. Melding herself against him so perfectly he never wanted to let go.
"I told you to never leave my side." He chastised in a breathless whisper against her ear.
She replied with a whimpered moan of assent, her full pouting lips pressing lightly like the fluttering wings of a butterfly against his neck. As she nodded her head into the underside of his chin.
The barest touch of her sent the most delicious sensations of arousal through out his body. Making him shiver uncontrollably. Mamoru knew his affection was on display before the patrons of the restaurant. Hugging thin air as he was, he didn't need to show the obvious tenting in his sweats as well. He quickly released her, setting her down and giving her a faint apologetic smile before turning his back on her. Feinting interest in the plain wooden front counter, idly picking up a paper menu from a glass holder near the flat screen style till.
She stared at him quizzically, finally taking note of the strange stares he was receiving from the costumer's scattered around the cafe'. Feeling his obvious embarrassment over their affection in public.
She humbly clasped her hands before her, becoming as she was before his patient and silent shadow.
"Hey, there Chiba-san. Changed your mind then, I figured you'd be half way to Kanto by now. " Unasuki laughed, parading almost smugly in front of him behind the counter. She bit down on her anger at being cast aside twice by him. Attempting to find some understanding about how difficult being social was for him.
"Ah...yeah. I guess. I am kinda hungry though." He started uncertainly.
"I bet." She smiled back, "Eating my poor brothers lunch wasn't enough for you today?" She jabbed with good natured humour.
Mamoru chuckled politely back. "Yeah..." He added, waiting impatiently for her to guide him to a table.
She took the hint of his sudden silence and led him to a shadowed back booth near the kitchen knowing he liked to be as far away from people as he could.
"Alright, I'll be right back. You figure out what you want." She stated, cheerfully.
Mamoru settled himself down, finding with warm amusement his invisible companion had slid in beside him on the same bench.
When he cast her a knowing smirk, over her obvious need to stay close to him now. She merely sighed and blushed, keeping her eyes averted to the highly polished table.
"Well that was quite a scare then." He leaned into her, whispering meaningfully in her ear.
She turned and smiled happily, if a bit obliviously at his words.
"You haven't said a single word to me." Mamoru mused, feinting interest in his menu again. Seeking to conceal his conversation with nothing.
She cocked her head in confusion, chewing absently on her lower lip as her brow furrowed. She desperately wished to understand what he was saying, knowing he was trying to communicate to her. But her mind was a total blank, his voice echoing to her as if trapped behind a barrier of water.
"Well, I guess I haven't even introduced myself yet. That's kinda rude..." Mamoru observed, his cheeks flaring with shame. What ever she was, dream or alive. He wasn't going to ignore her, or treat her as a mere figment of his imagination. He felt he needed to take care of her, she had appeared to him, came to him. She was his responsibility from now on, or until she decided to leave.
"Chiba, Mamoru at your service my lady." He offered her his hand with a quirky half smile.
She giggled and took his hand understanding that gesture. Once again the charge of energy rippled up his arm like a lightening bolt. Sending all his nerves on edge, his skin feeling heated as if the intensity of the summer sun was bathing his now over sensitive skin.
With a grimace he pulled his hand out of her grasp needing a reprieve from the odd itchy yet tingling sensation before his arm went completely numb.
She never seemed to notice, bouncing on her bum with a building excitement he couldn't understand.
"And your name?" He inquired when she didn't respond. His query interrupted as Una breezed into the booth on the other side. Slapping her half empty box of chocolates on the table in accusation, she bluntly shoved them at him with a very disgruntled scowl on her face.
Mamoru glanced down at the near empty box with slight confusion tinged with growing discomfort. That shortly turned into a grimace knowing by Unasuki's less then trilled expression he was about to get a verbal tongue lashing for cutting out on her yesterday and nearly today as well.
"It's not very nice to make promises and not keep them." She pouted.
Mamoru sighed heavily, a long sad sound of a man who felt on trail.
"If I gain weight and don't fit into my Valentines dress, I will blame you. Chiba-san." She stated crossly, giving him a playful thin lipped smile.
"Gomen." He mumbled.
"Yeah, well you can apologize properly another time." She stated, leaning in over the table as he resolutely reached for a chocolate ready to do his duty.
He popped it in his mouth and chewed thoroughly, rolling the creamy, sweet melting substance all around his tongue relishing the taste.
"Very good. " He commented honestly a few moments later when he had cleaned his mouth up with his tongue.
"I know! I ate half the box all by myself last night!" Una sighed, leaning back against the bench. Staring at him bitterly, her eyes soon softening into something mournful.
Mamoru caught the sympathetic look in her hazel green eyes, catching on to the double meaning of this little social call.
"Chiba-san..." she started softly. "I know D-Day's this weekend and that it's going to be tough on you." She spoke in a hushed private tone, leaning over the table to keep their conversation contained.
Mamoru rolled his eyes and groaned regretting telling her and Motoki about his sad past. It had been a moment of weakness months back, in which all three of them had gotten locked in the Arcades back storage room during a black out. That twenty-four hours together being scared and uncertain if they were going to survive the next few hours. With only a radio to report what was happening outside, as riots and theft were running rampant in the streets. Had unintentionally bonded them, created a friendship that had not been there before. They had all shared a bit of themselves that night, growing marginally closer. Now Una, naturally wanted more. Something he was very reluctant to give.
"You have been more aloof and quiet then ever, so I know it's bothering you." She finished, searching his eyes for confirmation.
This was not a discussion he wanted to have. Glancing around the busy restaurant searching the patrons and fellow waitress's for salvation. Finding none of the customer's needed her, all happily eating, the other waitresses able to handle the seated number's easily. Una had been prepared for him, making sure her little heart felt interrogation would not be interrupted.
With a reluctancy he returned his gaze back to her. Finding her eyes glazed with hurt as he kept his peace. Refusing to open up to her, knowing he was casting off her concern. His cold, silence was humiliating her.
"I wish you would tell me about it. I'm your friend and I want to help. " She offered, an awkwardness falling between them in his continued silence. But she wasn't one to give up, she worked towards her goals almost doggedly.
"What 'it' are you talking about." He cocked his head in question, giving her a laughing smile. Seeking to side step the pointed question.
"You seem far to sad, lately." She added, leaning back into the bench obviously pouting over how Mamoru was keeping her shut out.
"It's nothing, Furuhata-san." Mamoru waved off her concern with a fake smile.
"Seriously...we have been friends for nearly a year and you can't even feel comfortable enough to call me by my first name?" She was genuinely hurt now, feeling like he just didn't want her friendship at all.
"I mean you call my brother by his name...why not me?" She added, her eyes glazing over again. "I thought our relationship was closer."
Mamoru sighed, glancing beside him for support. Finding his girl watching them both with an intent stare. Taking in every word, every nuance of their body language desperately trying to understand what they were talking about.
"I guess I just don't feel comfortable with girls." He shrugged. "But be patient with me, I'll get there." He offered, lieing easily with his most charming smile. That turned out to look weak and strained under his layer of scruffy facial hair.
Unasuki grunted.
"I am naturally always kinda down, you don't need to worry about me. I'm a gloomy sorta person." He shrugged, wanting to lighten his chronic depression somewhat. "In many ways your better off not getting to close to me."
"Well, thats just horrible." She huffed, giving him a dissatisfied look. "You need to get out more, find the fun in life." she nodded, a new mission forming in her mind. Mamoru was going to become her new project, she would show him what wonderful things life with people had to offer. A conspiring smile pulling on the corner's of her mouth, that was having Mamoru suddenly very nervous.
"Well, if there isn't anything else. I should be heading home. " He felt he needed to escape now, while he could. Unasuki was a bit of a busy body and very pushy, he knew if he didn't get away like now! She would end up wrangling him into something he truly didn't want to be a part of.
"Can I come with you on Sunday?" She asked plaintively, so forthright with her request it was startling. As he scrambled out of the bench, his muscles twitching with a need to race away from her.
Her pained, fragile sounding voice stopped him in his tracks.
"It's not really a big deal. It's just a ritual I do every year is all." he responded, ducking his head and rubbing the back of his neck. Truly not wanting company at his parents graves. "Well, I still want to be there. " she added, confronting by his blank, unimpressed stare.
"If that's ok?" Her voice wavered slightly at his continued silence. Feeling very nervous, not knowing what to do with her hands. She gripped the side of the bench hard, the leather squeaking under her finger's as they curled tightly around the edge.
"I...don't really..." he began to confess now rubbing the back of his neck and averting his eyes to the floor.
"You don't have to be alone anymore!" She wailed, "I'm your friend...right?" She was near tears now, pleading with him to let her in.
"Yeah...I guess..." He muttered, keeping his eyes downward as if intrigued by his shoes. Not wanting to see the hurt in her eyes.
"So I want to be there for you, I'll stay out of the way I promise. I just want to be your friend and friends support one another during tough times. " She was pleading now, trying to convince him that having her around wouldn't be just a nuisance.
Mamoru grimaced then slowly nodded, before abruptly turning on his heel and walking out of the restaurant. His gait was swift but not rushed, not wanting to make a spectacle of himself anymore then he had previous. He knew Una's near breakdown at the end was drawing attention. They looked like a couple breaking up. With her near tears and him retreating away.
He sighed in both frustration and resignation. Una meant well, she was a good person. She was just a bit to much for him sometimes. But maybe having her around wouldn't be so bad...at least her company should be brief. Visit his parents graves, leave his offering and then leave.
With a crisp nod of approval he headed down the street, his dream girl once again hovering behind him in that same flying pose as she sought to keep up with his quick stride. His mind falling back on strange thoughts that had been plaguing him all day. He was just as non-exisitent to most people, just like his dream girl. Moving through life without any connections to others, a ghost easily forgotten. Unable to leave any kind of impression on anyone he met. Una was the first person in a very long time who sought out his company. And he wanted nothing to do with her company. Just wanting to return to his apartment and hide like he had done for countless years. Now he was left wondering what truly was the absence of living? Not being seen by other's when obviously you were there, or choosing to continue to be unseen.