Chapter Two
Georgetown, 1955
"Where are you going?" Raven asked as Charles headed for the door. The shape shifter tried her best to keep the panic out of her voice, and allow for the calm dominance in her personality to take over. Charles looked back at Raven and scrunched his brow. She had been living with him now for two weeks, rarely leaving the dorm, and clinging to Charles like a lost puppy- even trying to convince him to skip class just so he wouldn't leave her. Charles could feel her fiery frantic feelings crash into his own mind, having to endure the full effect of the lack of emotional stability Raven had. She wanted him beside her forever, whilst wanting him to stay back and allow her to make her own choices in life. Charles sighed.
"To get coffee," Charles stated obviously and quickly. Keeping his gaze on Raven, he could feel her hoping he had more to say; anything, just as long as he wouldn't leave. Though he was anxious to see Aila, he had a duty to his sister he couldn't escape, nor would he ever choose to. "Raven, is everything alright with you?" Concern filled the Englishman's eyes, and his brow furrowed deeper. He took a delicate step towards Raven, fearing if he stepped too suddenly she might snap.
Raven stared at her brother blankly, starting to bite her lower lip. "I- I don't know Charles," she whispered, "I don't know about anything anymore." She shook her head in an attempt to keep the tears from falling. Charles took two more cautious steps, until he was close enough to put a comforting hand on Raven's shoulder.
"What is troubling you so deeply?" Charles inquired carefully. "Talk to me." The last words came out sounding almost like a desperate plea, but Charles was never one to pester someone who didn't wish to share their feelings.
"I'm feeling everything at once. I can't- I can't describe it. Can't you just read my mind? Then you'll know; and probably have some reasonable or easy explanation for everything." Raven's green eyes looked up at Charles, but soon dropped to the ground. "You always were the smarter one," she mumbled. It took all of Charles's restraint not to recoil at her last words.
"That is what this is about, Raven? Intelligence?" He gave a humorless chuckle. "Raven, you and I are different. I read, study, and prefer a lab to the outside world. You though- you, are vibrant and fun; you thrive in the social world. Do not compare yourself to me. Or to anyone for that matter; it is the Achilles Heel of any pursuit of true happiness."
"But how can I not," Raven replied with a small cry. Closing her eyes, she let the beautiful mask fade from her body, allowing the deep red hair and blue skin to come to the surface. "Look at me," she continued weakly, "how can I not compare myself to you? Or to anyone? I'm an ugly creature- a creature with no real future. I'm not smart enough or practiced enough or- oh, god, I'm a failure." Raven hung her head allowing the long awaited tears to finally fall. Charles anticipated her movements, and as she crumbled to the ground, he put his arms around her, dropping to his knees as she did.
"No, Raven, you're much more than that. I know you are." He ran a hand softly down her hair and felt her body shake with the tears. "But me believing it means nothing if you do not. You have the potential and ability to be anything you want to be in this life. Raven, self pity will get you nowhere, so don't wallow too long in the depths of issues you actually have the power to fix."
"You make it sound so easy," she whispered weakly. "It's not though. I've tried to tell myself I don't have to be smart like you, or normal like most of the goddamn planet, but it never works."
"Because you never allow it to, Raven. You have created a raging battle between yourself and the world, and you believe neither party is content with who you are. That belief will be true if you keep telling yourself it is. But Raven, I will tell you something: everyone is insecure with themselves in some regard. The trick though, is to overcome it. Whether it be accepting yourself for who you are, or burying your insecurity so far down, even you sometimes forget it is there. I can't change how you view yourself, but the sooner you figure out how to do it, the happier you will be." Charles gave Raven a warm smile and rubbed her back gently.
"You're right," she replied, "you're always right. And I'll try to be more confident," she said with a smile. "But not today." The blond haired, pale skinned Raven found her way back over her body, and Raven felt herself at a forged, yet content peace. Charles gave a nod with tight lips, and then rose to his feet.
"Will you be okay then, Raven?"
"Yeah, I'll be okay," she nodded with a small smile.
"Splendid," Charles replied, clasping his hands together, though not fully believing his sister's words. "Well, I'm off, and will be back soon."
"I never took you to be the fashionably late type of guy," Aila greeted as Charles rushed into the on-campus coffee shop, and sat down heavily next to her.
"I most certainly am not," Charles started off, hoping that would be a sufficient explanation. "And I truly am sorry; I was held up."
"Your intentions were good though, so apology accepted." Aila gave a warm yet playful smile.
"Brilliant," Charles smiled, until he had processed what Aila had actually said. "Wait, I beg your pardon? My intentions?" Aila was a wonder to Charles. No one had ever fully succeeded in outsmarting him, yet here Aila was scrambling his brain until Charles almost felt- gods forbid, of normal intelligence.
"Yeah. You're late because you were helping your sister. A very noble act, even if it meant leaving me alone here to watch my coffee become nastily cold." Aila gave a blithe smile, beginning to laugh a little.
"Laughing at your own wit," Charles mused, a playful mischief flaring in his startlingly blue eyes. "And I believe we need to have rules about accessing each other's thoughts." He leaned his elbows on the table, as if giving Aila a silent challenge.
"Sometimes it's good to acknowledge your own brilliant sarcasm," Aila supplied. "And ah, rules…truly needed, until you feel the undeniable urge to break them. But as you wish, Mr. Xavier. I propose we ask each other before entering the other's thoughts. Sound reasonable?" Aila then allowed a smirk to creep its way onto her delicate features once she realized something. "You know though, you were running late even before you helped your sister."
"It is not my fault George Orwell is a captivating author…" Charles, for once in his life, actually felt ashamed for losing track of time in the musty smell of a really superb novel. "And yes, that rule seems very reasonable indeed."
"Good," Aila said pleasantly. "But George Orwell, honestly? I cannot stand his writing. The entire time I read his work it feels as if someone is scraping their nails on a chalkboard." Aila shuttered slightly at the topic of George Orwell.
"He is a genius with symbolism and satire," Charles defended almost dreamily.
"Envious, are we?" Aila replied, the playful smirk still dancing gleefully on her features. "Not to worry though, since he is dead, and you've barely been able to make your mark on the world yet."
"Well, thank you very much for your words of encouragement," Charles smiled. Moments later, both Aila and Charles felt a wave of uncontrollable emotions enter the shop, and they turned to find Raven storming towards them. Charles had felt her eerie presence since he had entered the shop, but Aila was just so captivating he thought nothing of it. Now though, he wished he had.
"Raven, what are you doing here?" Charles asked softly once she had made her way to their table. Raven's eyes flickered with the cold hatred Charles had seen when he first got his acceptance letter to Georgetown. Another layer of hurt loomed above the hatred.
"I followed you here," she replied numbly. "I was curious what you do here, and of course I find you meeting up with a girl." The bitterness in her voice even left the biting taste in Charles's mouth, and he could sense Aila felt it too. Charles had always loved Raven, but as of late she was making it very difficult to do without a struggle.
"Raven, me meeting a girl is no reason for this harsh anger," Charles replied, trying to soothe his sister.
"Oh, so now I'm not allowed to feel a certain way in a certain situation? Well that's just great, Charles. Dictate me, and then leave me." Raven crossed her arms tightly. Any kindness Charles had in his eyes died, and he could no longer give Raven the benefit of the doubt- she was being utterly ridiculous. What had happened with Raven when Charles went off to college he did not know. The flash of temptation to weave his way into Raven's mind made its taunting call, but he forced himself not to answer.
"I am not attempting by any means to tell you how to feel. You know I would never do such a thing. And I would never abandon you, Raven; what would ever make you think that?"
"It's how it always works, okay? I'm fun to keep around until someone or something better comes along, and I become no more than a memory." Raven bit her lip, "it's how it always works." Her voice died down, and it became a pathetic whisper. Aila saw that Charles's mercy was wearing thin, and that Raven was nowhere near done with her rant, and that she was far from fine. Aila found herself torn if she should speak or allow brother and sister to work it out. It became a tiring debate beginning to resemble the Wimbledon tournament, until Charles gave her a subtle nod, giving her permission to talk.
"No, it doesn't have to be like that. In fact, it shouldn't." Aila gave Raven a hard stare.
"I wasn't talking to you," Raven bit out harshly. "Who are you, anyway?" By now, most of the coffee shop had its attention turned to the three, and they all felt the heat of the shop's stare on their backs. Charles felt the manager just itching to kick them out for disruptive behavior, and Charles couldn't help but agree, so took the liberty of doing it.
"Outside," Charles directed, addressing both women, and they followed him with silent obedience. Charles slammed a few dollars on the table and then led them out. Once the three had reached safety outside of the small coffee shop, Charles turned to face Aila and Raven, his body creating an invisible fence neither woman dare try to jump. "Aila is right, Raven," Charles finally said after many moments of agonizing silence. "You are making a very large deal out of something that isn't even an issue at hand. I understand completely that you are going through a very hard time, but this melodramatic approach is a tad much. Would you not agree?" He raised an eyebrow at his sister, awaiting her reply.
"So what if it is? I deal with my situations the way I want to. Neither you nor Aila," she looked coldly at the other woman, "can tell me how to do it. You know something, Charles; maybe it was a mistake for me to come here." Raven felt such an odd satisfaction with putting her perfect brother in a do or die situation, that she didn't even think about what she would do if he actually told her to leave.
"Maybe it was," Charles replied darkly, his eyes glazing over with such a cold bitterness that Raven could almost feel the ice on her breath. Logic finally made a much delayed appearance in Raven's head, and she began to panic. No, this was not what she wanted.
"No, I didn't mean it. I'm sorry. Sorry for everything. I don't hate you; I don't want to leave," the sincerity in her voice was so apparent and desperate, that Charles's icy armor began to melt. "And it's okay if you like Aila; I have no place to mess with that." Aila knew the young Raven was lying straight through her teeth, relying on the compassion Charles always readily gave. It left a sickening taste in Aila's mouth, because she knew Charles would probably forgive his sister, despite her taking advantage of him.
Charles sighed. "I know you meant no harm, Raven. But if you want to continue living with me, you have to learn to deal with your emotions." Though his words held no roughness, they seemed to skin Raven to the bone. She was swimming in treacherous waters, and she didn't know when she would go under again.
"I know I do," Raven said softly, and both Charles and Aila knew she truly believed it. The tension began to subside, until it fell completely dead.
"Good," Charles finally replied. "Well, who would like to sit and regroup?" Both girls nodded, and found a nice patch of grass adjacent to the coffee shop.
"So, Aila, what's your story?" Raven asked sweetly. Aila was a little taken aback by Raven's forwardness, but quickly recovered.
"My father was from Germany, but immigrated to Scotland in 1932 where he met my mother. My grandparents were not very fond of my mother marrying a German though, so they decided to immigrate to the United States, where I was then born. I grew up in Baltimore, and now attend Georgetown. My story is not a very interesting one, but it is the only one I have." Aila gave a smile accompanied by a small laugh.
"It is quite a nice one though, Aila," Charles said softly, and Aila could sense a drop of envy in his voice. From her time searching through his mind, Aila knew Charles's story was no simple or happy tale, but she did not know the specifics. Sure she had found memories and thoughts of his past, but they had been so dark and almost venomous, that Aila had not dared to see them.
"Thank you, Charles," she replied softly, and she couldn't hide the flirtatious smile that grew on her face. She wasn't quite sure what drew her to Charles, he was just utterly enchanting. Charles Xavier was not a one dimensional hollow man; every part of him had a story; an emotion. His blue eyes glistened with such strong feelings; Aila couldn't help but feel herself totally captivated in their ever changing emotion. Charles's smile was like a pleasurable lullaby that sung softly in the air every time it was directed to her, and she always felt herself losing her restraint with him.
Raven noticed how Charles and Aila stared at each other, and she felt herself become jealous. What was so captivating about Aila? Admittedly, she was gorgeous, but Charles had never been one to be too into women. Of course he flirted, but it never escalated into anything greater than that. The only constant woman in his life had been Raven, and she was damn pleased with that. Charles was hers not Aila's; she had been with Charles since she was seven- Aila had not even been for a month. But Raven knew it didn't matter how long Charles had known Aila; he liked her more than anyone he had ever been with, and it killed Raven. She knew Charles Xavier, and she knew that Aila would not disappear from her life- Charles was going to do whatever it took to keep Aila in his life as long as he possibly could.
It was one fault the great Xavier had: he trusted people too easily. It didn't matter that his mother had never loved him enough to be in the house for longer than four hours. It wasn't important that his father had killed himself, and left Charles abandoned and alone, having to virtually take on the world on his own. No; Charles still believed everyone was good, and he trusted them with all his heart.
"Hey Charles, I'm going to go back to the dorm." Raven got up, not even waiting for her brother to reply. Once the young girl was at a safe distance, Charles turned to Aila.
"I sincerely apologize for today." The guilt in Charles's voice was apparent.
"No, don't be. I got to meet your sister," Aila gave a sweet smile.
"You're too kind, Aila." Charles sighed, "I do not know what to do about Raven. She is so unstable and angry, and I cannot help her- I am part of the reason she's like this."
"You can't save everyone, Charles," Aila replied quietly.
"Of course I can't. But I should at least be able to save the ones I love. If I cannot do that, what good am I?" Charles ran a hand through his dark hair. He was not used to situations like this. He could usually be persuasive and compassionate to help the ones he wanted to, but he couldn't do it with Raven this time.
"You are good. The thing that matters is that you're actually trying to help Raven. Charles, most people would give up the first time she overacted- you didn't, and still haven't. You expect too much of yourself, and that isn't always a good thing." Aila's face showed the deepest of empathy for Charles.
"She is just so frustrating. Raven brings out the darker parts of me, and I don't know why. She puts me in such a regretful state, and it drives me mad."
"It's okay to not have all the answers, Charles. You are twenty one years old. Like I said, you haven't been able to put your mark on the world yet; and you most certainly can't expect yourself to have all the solutions either." Aila slid on the ground until her shoulder was almost touching Charles's, and she felt her heart flutter.
"Thank you," was all Charles said, but the rest was spoken when he softly touched her lips. His mouth was electrifying on hers, and seconds seemed to become hours. She traced her forefinger along his cheek until she reached the nape of his neck. She began to softly twist the ends of his hair around her finger, until they had to break the kiss for air. Aila lightly touched her lips, a tender smile growing on her face and a glow of joy burning in her eyes.
I know I literally like just posted this story, but I couldn't help myself- I just love writing this story, and had to update. Alright, so I know this chapter was all over the place, but I'm trying to get these characters developed. And if it's rushed, I know. This isn't the bulk of the story (it will be 1962 when First Class takes place) so I'm trying to get to it as soon as possible. Anyway, for those of you who didn't review, it would mean a lot! It only takes a second to review, but hours to write a chapter.
Remember, reviews are love, people!