My Destiny – Part Two

I can still picture your shaking shoulder

Jae Joong walked over to Junsu. "hey...what's the matter?" He could see Junsu's shoulders shaking up and down. He was crying.
The brunette kneeled down beside the crying boy and patted him gently. "C'mon you can tell me what is wrong"
"You didn't save me"
"What?"

Jae Joong flew back as a gush of wind blew him back. Eyes fixed on the car that was now surrounded by flames. What just happened? He was just in there. Yet, so was Jusnu.

Junsu was still in there!

"Jusnu!!!" Jae got up and ran to the burning car, only taking a few running steps when a pair of forceful arms went around his waist.
"There's nothing you can do for him"
"Yes there is!" Jae cried, lifting his arm he elbowed the other man in the stomach and ran toward the car.

The heat became more intense as he neared the car. He had to be in there! He had to be ok! "Jun-"

"SU!!" Jae sat straight up in his bed.

Wait, it wasn't his bed.
Right, he was in the hospital, and that so called dream of Junsu burning in the car...

...wasn't a dream...

For now, my destiny is sad

Jae's whole body shook. He couldn't hold it in anymore. No matter how hard he tried to act tough. He just couldn't do it.
He screamed out and threw his head into his hands, tears of anger and hate towards himself flowing down his cheeks and staining the plain white hospital sheets.

Soft heels hit the floor as the made their way over to Jae Joong's bed. The crying man looked up to see one of the nurses. The nurse laid a tray of food down on the nightstand beside his bed and headed out.

Food. Did he want it?

Of course not.

All he wanted was Junsu.

"What did I do wrong?" he asked, voice shaking with guilt. He eyed the room frantically. He needed to get out!
Wincing he got up out of the bed, the hospital sheets falling to the floor. Finding his clothes in a box under his bed, he stripped out of the hospital's so called covering and back into his own.

As he reached into the box, something sharp hit his hand. What?
He pulled his hand out. His fist was closed tightly around the ring in his hand, the silver chain hung out of his grasp.
It was Junsu's necklace.
He had taken it from him because he couldn't quit throwing at people at the restaurant.

I want to forget your eyes, your tears, and sighs

The cold wind blew against Jae Joong as he walked across the street from the hospital. He'd made it out of that hell hole through the window.
And he wasn't going back.
Not until he found his lover.

He winced and fell to his knees. Junsu wasn't going to come back. He was NEVER going to come back...

...he knew it...

...but why...

...why couldn't he tell himself that?

"I'm...sorry...I couldn't..." Jae Joong choked out softly. The tears of hate toward himself returned as he clutched his shoulders and cried, harder than he had ever cried before.

He coughed, the tears clouding his vision. The grass in front of him looked shiny. Only now it didn't look like grass. It looked like sand.
The wind blew harder, but it didn't smell of gasoline anymore.
It was salty.

Jae Joong looked up to find the ocean water once more. He shook his head. He was seeing things again. Why? Why wouldn't it stop?!

Each day I take off the ring I cannot let go, still hiding my feelings

"Stop..." Jae whispered, the necklace swung on his wrist as he lifted his hands to his head.

"Leave me alone"

Jae Joong...

"No..." his voice grew a bit louder.

Why didn't you save me?

"Go..away.." the hand that didn't hold the necklace went around the chain, harshly pulling at it as the ring on the pendant rested in the other.

You had time...

"No I didn't...I...couldn't...get...you out..."

Yes you could have.

The chain strained to keep itself together as Jae Joong pulled at it more. His eyes glaring at the sand. He was mad. Not at Junsu..
..not at the memories..
..but at himself.

"Leave me.."

Jae Joong..

"the fuck alone!!!!" he shouted, standing up and throwing the ring out into the ocean water.

My mind wants to shout, to send one last message

"Fine, don't say that I didn't want to help"

Jae Joong looked around in surprise. He was in the field across from the hospital yet again. Standing up he turned and saw another one of his band mates. "Yoochun?"

Yoochun nodded, his eyes red like Jae's from crying. "C'mon...I'm going to take you home"
Jae Joong nodded slowly, his shoulders still shaking from crying. His whole body shaking in anger. "Home...is...Junsu there?"
Yoochun sniffed some and shook his head. "no...he's not"
Jae smiled sadly. "I thought so" he said as he walked up to Yoochun. Turning around one last time, he let his eyes move up to the moon.
Did I have time to save you? Could I have saved you?

You know that my hearts beating for you

"Jae Joong you butt hole!" Junsu playfully said as he pushed Jae Joong away from him. The playstation controller falling out of the fallen one's hands.
"It's not my fault you suck at this game" Jae snickered and pushed him back.
"It's not my fault that you cheat!"
"I do not!"
"BULL!"
"Don't yell at me!" Jae Joong said as he tackled the other one to the ground. "Just for that...I'm ignoring you tonight"
Junsu's eyes widened "WHAT?!"
A small smirk played on the dominant's face. "Of course. there is ONE way you can gain my forgiveness"

"Hey you two! Get a room!" Changmin joked as he waltzed in and plopped down into the chair.
Junsu and Jae Joong both stood up, Junsu leaving the room. "Fine" Jae said as he patted Changmin's shoulder "We'll use yours"

Another way

Jae Joong lifted his eyes, stepping into Changmin's room and looking around. It didn't look like this now. He remembered when him and Junsu actually went into here just to piss Changmin off.

Jae slid over to the bed and ran his hand along the sheets. They still where warm. Maybe Junsu was here? No Jusnu was...
...his eyes narrowed sadly as he saw Junsu lay down on the bed. He backed up slowly and saw himself crawl over Junsu.
"Don't tease me" Jae panted and kissed Junsu again.

"STOP!" Jae Joong shouted, the memory fading from his sight. "I don't ..."

Another lie

"...care that you're gone!!" he growled and tore the bed sheets from the bed. "I...don't'...love you" he breathed out raggedly as he fell to his knees, panting and holding the bed sheets in his hands.

I believed in fate innocently

He breathed in some, but not enough. He coughed. But this time he couldn't stop.

He couldn't breath...

Jae Joong's eyes slid shut as he fell to the floor, the bed sheets falling under his head and providing him a pillow.

Junsu looked over at Jae Joong. The moon beaming light down on them in the cold night. "Do you believe in fate?"
Jae Joong snorted and shook his head "No, why the hell should I?"
"I dunno...do you think if neither one of us was in TVXQ...that we would've met eventually?"
Jae shrugged and looked back at the moon. "I don't know..."
"I think we would've"
Jae Joong looked over to Junsu..a astonished look on his face.
"Why?"
"Because..."
"That isn't a good reason."
"It is for me" Junsu stood up and looked down at the sitting Jae Joong. "I think we met on purpose"
The astonished man blinked a couple of times as Junsu blushed brightly and ran off toward the house.
"What...the?"

But Living without your love

Jae Joong stood up and followed after Junsu. "Hey! Don't run so fast" he yelled out after him. For some reason, Junsu was getting farther and farther away.
Jae ran a bit faster but tripped. "Junsu" he said softly and pushed himself upward. What?

He couldn't' get up!

He looked up and saw Junsu no where in sight. Where did he go?

"Junsu!!" he cried out, looking around madly. "This isn't funny!'

if we had to go back, I would still want to hold your hand

"Hey silly! I'm right here!"
Jae Joong looked up and saw Junsu's outstretched hand. The silver ring he had given him still on his ring finger. Jae smiled gently and took it.
"Now get up, I've still gotta beat you in Super Smash Brothers!"

My destiny is fading with memories

I want to say right here

Jae Joong nodded and stood up, allowing Junsu to pull him off toward the house.

I don't ever want this to end.

"Jae Joong!"

Jae stopped and turned around. Junsu turning with him, hands on his hips. "what are you looking at?"
"I thought someone just called me"
"you're hearing things silly" Junsu laughed and grabbed Jae's hand yet again. "Come on, lets go"

"Jae Joong!"

Reality hit. Jae Joong looked down, the floor was no longer there. He was...floating? No!
He looked up to find Yunho holding tightly onto his hand.

He was hanging off the balcony!!

To be continued...maybe