It had been three months since Praimfaya, and Clarke didn't realize how alone one person could ever feel.

Everyday was always such a struggle, surviving was difficult when there was nothing viable left on earth but herself. Sure surviving was always difficult, but she always had the 100 to make things a little easier, she had Bellamy.

Since waking up after Praimfaya and realizing that she wasn't dead, she had eagerly with tear filled eyes, grabbed the radio to let Bellamy know she had survived, that she was still here, on the ground, and would fight every single day until she could seem them all again, something she thought would never happen. But Clarke's excitement soon faded as the only answer she received was radio silence.

Still, a new sense of determination filled her body as she marched through the blistering sand: She would see her friends again one day.

But after three months of suffering, of no success at opening the bunker, moments of pure madness induced by the silence, that determination began to slowly fade. The Clarke she had once knew began to disappear, and the new Clarke was someone she thought she would never be. No, the new Clarke, she was a coward, she was weak. This new her was someone who couldn't survive on her own, someone who couldn't stand the loneliness, the hardship that came with finding her next meal.

She tried talking to Bellamy every day to ease her madness, but every day without an answer back broke her even more. Some days she would listen so closely for just the smallest sound of recognition that all she would hear was the buzzing of the radio ringing in her ears for days.

That's why, as she knelt in the burning sand, the barrel of the gun pushed firmly against her temple, that she felt not one ounce of that determination she had once felt. There was nothing left of the Clarke her friends had once knew, that Bellamy had cared so much for. No, if he could see her now he would truly reconsider his feelings for her, he would look at her like had had the day she had come to Arkadi begging for his help after she had left him, and this Clarke was much worse than she had ever been.

Deep down a part of her knew not a single word of that was true. In fact, it would be quite the opposite, but if she wanted to succeed in what she was doing, then that was what she had to believe, what she would cling too.

Clarke squeezed her eyes shut tight, tears streamed uncontrollably down her face as her finger came to rest shakily on the trigger. But suddenly a pain hit her so viciously in her stomach that it radiated throughout the rest of her body and causing her to release her grip on the gun, as she wrapped her arms around her abdomen.

What irony. She smiled humorlessly to herself as she writhed in pain. Here I am trying to off myself when I'm most likely slowly being eaten alive from the inside out by radiation.

Rolling onto her back to face the sky, Clarke let out a hearty laugh as the pain began to subside. Then, suddenly she saw it; it's sleek ebony form flew right over her and out of sight. She jumped quickly onto her feet, a burst of something resembling hope filled her lungs and thrust her forward, following its gliding silhouette until it landed haphazardly onto a nearby branch.

A nearby branch..

A BRANCH!

Joy filled Clarke's body, it coursed through her veins and filled every inch of her that it possibly could. Clarke ran as fast as she could until she reached the opening of trees and fell face first into the forest floor. Tears of pure happiness streamed down her face as she took in the sight of her surroundings, the feel of the cool grass beneath her palms, the smell of green all around her.

"Thank you." She smiled up at the large crow that still sat on the branch above her, turning its head in curiosity at the sight of her. "You saved my life."

"Six months Bellamy, it's been 183 days since you guys left." Clarke smiled into the radio. "How's Monty's algae? I bet it's absolutely awful." She laughed, tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear.

"I on the other hand have found berries! Can you believe it? Most are pretty bitter but I kind of like it." Clarke leaned nonchalantly back in her chair and popped one of the berries in her mouth. "I actually can't seem to get enough of them." She chuckled.

"I can't wait for you guys to see this place, it's like our own little slice of heaven. Well, I'll talk to you tomorrow then. Until we meet again." Clarke sat the radio carefully down onto the table and massaged her stiff shoulder with a sigh. She had come a long way since that day in the desert, she had grown content in this place, her Eden, she called it, happy even. Of course the loneliness was still there, but she could always take her mind off of it now that she had resources.

Clarke let out a sigh and grabbed her makeshift bow she had carved out. She had to admit she was pretty proud of it, of course if Bellamy was here he'd probably have some smart ass remark to say about its crooked hilt or how the wire was always just a tad bit to flimsy.

Clarke smiled sadly to herself. She missed all of her friends, but she missed Bellamy more than she could ever imagine. The time she had spent alone without him, trying to remember every little detail about him, down to the splash of freckles across his face that she hadn't previously cared to notice, had caused a huge weight of realization to rain down on her: That she was madly and hopelessly in love with Bellamy Blake.

She hadn't realized it right away, in fact, the night they shared before Praimfaya was only a way to forget all of the pain and loss she was feeling. Or so she had thought. Now, it was all she could think about, she played it over in her mind daily, trying to remember the way his rough hands had gently caressed her body, how they made her feel so much more than just comfort. She could only hope that Bellamy still felt for her the same way that he felt for her then in 6 years, he did believe she was dead after all.

The haunting feeling that Bellamy would forget about her coursed through her body and left her heart aching painfully. Clarke shook the thoughts from her head, they had no place here, she had to have faith, had to have some semblance of hope. Bellamy was that hope, and she wouldn't ruin that for herself.

Without a second thought, she threw her bow over her shoulder and headed to the door, but something caught her eye as she passed. Clarke stopped a few paces passed the old rustic mirror that stood propped near the entrance. She turned her head slightly and furrowed her brow as she slowly stepped backwards until her whole body was in view. Clarke's pulse began to speed up as hands drifted slowly down to rest on her swollen stomach.

"No." She gurgled out as her eyes began to sting. As if in retaliation Clarke felt a small bump against her hand, causing her to jump, her bow clamouring loudly to the the ground. "This..This can't be happening. All the fluttering, it it was the berries."

Another bump.

All of the air seemed to be sucked from the room and Clarke fell to her knees on the ground.

"How could I miss this? How could I be so stupid!" She growled. Of course her IUD had probably been fried and then some throughout her time on Earth and safety...Well safety was the last thing on anyone's minds, let alone theirs. Hell a huge wave of radiation was plummeting towards them, what was safe about any of that? And she had it in her head that she was going to die, how was she supposed to know she'd live through all of this?

Another terrifying thought filled her head. What if the baby wasn't a night blood? What if when it was born it died instantly and painfully by the radiation? What if it was being affected right now by it?

A sob escaped Clarke's mouth as she thought of all of the terrible and terrifying possibilities.

What was she going to do?