"I am Master Shifu, and now- 'Salu'ir'- tell me your story."
"Really? I mean, it's kind of boring." "No story is boring, they may simply lack action, is all." He took a sip of his teacup, shaking his head. "That depends, 'Salu'ir', on how the story is told, though, is it not?"
"You know what a computer is?" "A what?" "My point exactly. Look, I'm just a civilian who got whacked over the head and thrown into the forest full of animal people with Asian Architecture, and I am REALLY getting the feeling that I'm not in the 'Big Apple' anymore." He blinked his eyes, huffing. "I'd really just like to get some sleep, is all, but-" He thought for a moment.
"The duck called you 'Master'. Why?" He sipped from his teacup, emptying the contents.
"I am trained in Kung Fu- a master of it, in my own right, and among many others." He smiled. "I train some and help others, and protect peace where I may in the Valley of Peace."
"...so this isn't York." "No." "Dang." "Not even that little china-town place? Or was that L.A.? I never was clear on that..." "No."
"I had received a notice that there was a peculiar person dashing from rooftop to rooftop while avoiding detainment. So, with my students predisposed- and desiring some action for myself, hmhm- I made my way to you myself and incapacitated you, which leads me to my next question-" He nods. "Why were you running?"
"You don't know how to kick rear and people start screaming at you, and pigs with spears start appearing. What's the logical reaction?" "Ah, yes. So you ran- understandable."
Sal shrugged. "Either way, it's how I got up there, and then in here. Speaking of which, did you have to undress me beforehand?"
"You're new, a new creature- nonetheless, the creatures about here were certainly interested in your physiology." Shifu nodded. "You...seem alr-"
The goose kicked burst the door open, frantic and desperate. "Ma- Master Shifu-! Bandits, raiding-"
"Hmn. Excuse me, Sal- we'll talk later. For now, rest." He stood, turning to the door and stepping out. The room went quiet, except for distant shouts beyond.
The human strained against his bonds, struggling to find release. Eventually, he slumped, huffing.
Footsteps rattled down the hallway, prompting him to look up. "Master Shi-"
He was greeted by the visage of a grinning wolf, turning to look over him. "My, my- what is -this-? Some sort of, hairless monkey? Where's your tail?" The tail swished back and forth as he twirled his axe, approaching bit by bit.
He strained twicefold, adrenaline pumping through his veins. "OH HELL NO, NO NO, NO- SO MUCH NO-" "Sht, quiet now, you don't want any attention drawn, do you?" He grinned. "You'll sell to a scientist for a pretty penny, I'll say that..."
He reached a clawed hand forward, cackling. Salu knit his eyes shut tight...
Thumping followed by a growl and a shout trailed by a thud met his ears. He slowly opened his eyes...
A figure strode toward him. Flowing orange fur, bright yellow eyes-
Glistening claws and fangs with a swishing, striped tail.
"OHGODATIGER- I'LL TAKE THE WOLF BACK, PLEASE DON'T- OH GOD HOLY- PLEASE NONONO-" "Shut up," it commanded, and he obeyed, cowed. "Master Shifu was near here. I'm returning from my own mission, and as I saw him rush out, he said to find..." 'She' gestured to him. "Whatever you are. I'll understand this later- for now, though, can you run?"
"Yeah. Let me get some pants, on, though." Her ear flicked in annoyance. "... alright." He nodded vigorously as she clawed apart his bonds, turning to the door.
"...also, Miss-" "Master Tigress." "Tiger Lady, yeah, uh- thanks."
She huffed. "I'm doing as my master asks."
--
He wheezed, pulling the hood around his head tighter with the ropes in his jackey. "Jeese, howsi's...haaah..." Salu squatted on his knees, gasping. "That...is a LOT of stairs, and by...haaaah...by extension, Cardio..."
Tigress rolled her eyes. "The bedrooms are off down that path, the guest room is at the far end. Master Shifu will find you again in the morning in the mess hall- follow the smell of food."
He nodded as she stepped off down another path. "...thanks again!" She didn't respond, rubbing the back of his head as he looked back towards the lodge- shrugging before making his way there.
--
A tapping at his door awoke him, disrupting his sleep. Looking around the paper-walled room, he realized that, once more, this was very much real- the final lid in the coffin in his former life. He looked at the door, eyeing the small figure that cast a shadow through the paper's light.
Salu shook his head, grunting. Standing and stretching, he stepped over to the door and opened it.
"Hello, Salu'ir." The small old man-thing bowed briefly. "I've done the research I was able to, and meditated on your plight- and I believe the answer, as with all things- lays in a higher power." He tilted his head, smiling patiently. "Walk with me."
The two stepped out and began to walk, the human popping and cracking his neck on occasion. "So, the...answer lies in a higher power somewhere or somehow?" "Yes, in a sort of energy we call 'Qi', a force that lives within all things and permeates the world. Meditation reveals a very strong...pull, towards you- an amassing of raw energy yet untapped, a convergence of Qi."
He blinked. "So, I've got magical mojo-juice power running through my every vein and I don't know about it? Hell, I can't even use it?" Salu chuckled. "What, did I pick it all up at a dollar store somewhere?" Shifu shook his head.
"I intend to teach you to use it- as I also felt a similar gathering of Qi not far from the forest you wandered in from- perhaps we can unravel this mystery and set you on your way home, hmn?" He stopped at the entrance to the temple, looking down the stairwell. "I am hoping we might act before catastrophe can occur- if an entirely new race of animals is appearing, well-" he chuckled- "I was taught that the universe does not act without reason. And, now- any moment, now..."
After a moment, shouts and gasping began to roll out from the bottom of the stairs. "...haaah-! WOO-!" The two stepped back to allow a larger figure to exit the stairs, crouching over on his knees to catch his breath- he was clothed in a cloak and a large disc hat- whatever those things are.
"Ah, Po- welcome back. I trust your home is doing alright?" "Yeah, we...huhf, the..." "Stairs are a killer." "Right, dud-" He stopped, looking over the human as the hat fell to reveal his twitching black ears.
"..." He looked back at the panda. Shifu tapped his staff on the ground. "Dragon Warrior- we have work to do."