Author's Note: Once again, hello to all! First and foremost, I would like to thank D Lo Jones and Shiruwanasu for the reviews. The reviews keep me motivated so keep 'em coming. So before I get going with this update, a small fun-fact for you. I more or less came up with this whole story at work, three weeks ago. However, being that my job is quite active I could only manage to jot down the jokes in a series of notes With no rhyme or reason to the order. All missing details I'm just making up as I go along.
Rated: T Genre: Comedy/Parody Warning: Somewhat offensive humor and spoilers... Seriously, if you didn't know this by now how'd you make it to chapter 2?
"Welcome back to the Happy,Happy Hinamazawa Learning Hour for Kids! Now back to our Host Kei-Kei!", bellows an obnoxiously loud voice over cheerful music, while the cameras focus in on K1 and a group standing in a huddle formation.
"Alright guys. I just got off the phone with our boss. He says to stop teaching the kids made-up words." Keiichi says, while looking at Rena and Rika. "So, no more "Haus","Miis",or "Nippahs"!" Rena looks at the camera as Keiichi is talking and taps him on the shoulder to get his attention, before exclaiming in a loud whisper, "
Kei-chan, we are back!" Everyone except Keiichi and Rika scramble from the stage.
"Hello again kids. We're here with our good friend, Friendly Farude." Rika waves to the camera with a smile
"Mi-I mean hi everyone. I'm very happy to meet you all." Keiichi motions to a stage hand to bring Rika a microphone as well.
"So Rika, what will you be teaching our younger viewers today?" Rika grabs the mic from the stage hand, and then turns her attention back to the camera.
"Well Kei-Kei, I'll be showing the boys and girls how to make animal noises." Keiichi chuckles to himself at how adorable this all was.
"Well that should be fun. Let's begin." Rika nods slightly in agreement.
"Everyone, this is a kitty. Now repeat after me. Nyaa-nyaa." Off camera the sound of children repeating the same noise can be heard. "Very good everyone!" Rika says smiling. "Now a dog goes woof woof." Again the sound is repeated by the audience. "Now a cicada goes like this ..." Rika makes a noise sounding exactly like a chattering cicada. The audience, clearly confused, emits a jumble of half-hearted noises. In reaction, Rika's smile vanishes. "I knew you wouldn't be able to do it." Rika mumbles in her adult voice while averting her gaze from the camera. Keiichi turns and looks at Rika.
"Umm...Rika?" Rika slumps onto the floor leaning against the the colorful backdrop of the stage.
"This world is like all the others. They will never be able to make the noise." Hanyu runs onto the stage and crouches next to Rika.
"Rika, I'm here." Rika pulls a glass and a bottle of wine from seemingly nowhere and begins unscrewing the top.
"You were right again Hanyu. There is no point in even trying." Rika smiles bitterly while pouring herself a glass of wine.
Keiichi begins to panic "Rika, we can't have underaged drinking! Especially live on T.V.!" Rika downs the glass of wine as Hanyu's face begins to fluster from the alcohol.
"Keiichi, you can't hope to understand. There's no point in even trying to do this show. You can't defeat fate." Rika mumbled, pouring herself another glass.
"Rika, you're right."Keiichi dramatically says, "You'll never defeat fate the way you are..." Rika looks at Keiichi in surprise.
"Kei-kun...?" Keiichi holds up a clenched fist.
"You can't expect to defeat a great foe such as fate by simply sitting around." Hanyu stumbles and falls drunkenly in the background as Rika stands up.
"It would take a miracle to break through this unescapable fate. The children can't even make the cicada noise!" Keiichi shakes his head and says,
"If a miracle is needed to do that, then it's up to you to make that miracle." A look of inspiration washes over Rika.
"Of course..." She says, and throws the wine bottle over her shoulder. "Together we can produce such a miracle." The bottle hits Hanyu on the head and knocks her out. "Thank you Keiichi-kun. Your words have inspired me to continue fighting." Rika dusts herself off and picks up her microphone. "Alright, everyone." Rika smiles cheerfully, her voice returning to that of a child. Keiichi notices Hanyu laying unconscious behind them and drags her off stage. Rika looks at the audience and cries, "Together we can do this! We will do this! Now repeat after me..." Again Rika makes a noise of a cicada and is echoed by a mass of garbled noise from the audience. Rika sighs to herself as she retrieves the bottle. Keiichi returns to the stage and yells,
"Wait! What happened?" Rika has returned to drinking on the floor, while mumbling in her adult voice.
"We failed. I'm gonna sit here and wait to die." Keiichi begins to panic and turns his attention back to the camera.
"Eh heh heh. But what about the kids, Rika?" Rika begins pouring another glass.
"I suggest they do the same." She sighs.
"Ack! Commercial go to a commercial!" He screams at the camera. The scene fades to Rena, standing in a kitchen smiling cheerfully at the camera.
"Oh, Hi everyone. You know, with all the treasure hunting, kidnapping, and "Hauing" I have to do in everyday life, there never seems to be enough time for making dinner. Thats why when I'm hungry I pick up Rena Brand Instant Ohagi." She pulls a small box from off camera onto the table. "Its not only delicious, but high in iron. How much you ask? Well you'll find out, tee-hee!" A deep, serious voice starts to talk quickly.
"Warning: Eating Rena Brand Instant Ohagi may result in internal bleeding, tongue piercings, or screaming like a freak and hurling rest of the remaining ohagi against the wall."
Thats all for now. Sorry if it seems a bit shorter, but I feel like I've been typing for an eternity and I just can't wait for the funnest part of writing...editing! Whee! So, I will continue this again very soon. Keep the reviews coming! Later.