Disclaimer: Again, it's not mine.
Chapter One: The Remnants
It's been only five days, but it feels like forever since he left again. But he didn't just leave. Oh no, Edward had decided to disappear with a bang.
Flashback
I rushed up the stairs to his bedroom (can you call it that without a bed in it?), eager to see him after the week I'd just spent with my mom and Phil in Jacksonville. A week away from Edward was too long, but I had accepted it because it was the time I'd chosen to tell my mother about my engagement. Yes, I know; crazy, right? I, Bella Swan, will soon be married to the love of my life. For eternity.
When I tripped and he didn't catch me that should have been my first clue. When his arms and his crooked smile didn't greet me at his door, I should have known something was wrong. But I'd brushed all that off, had gone inside. He was sitting on his black leather couch, with his arm around a girl – a vampire girl – that I'd never seen before. He was kissing her. Kissing the way we couldn't; at least, we couldn't yet. But I didn't think the yet applied anymore. With tears running down my face, and silent sobs shaking my body, I placed my engagement ring on his CD shelf and walked out the door. Out of the house. Out of his life. What could have been my life too, if I had been just a bit more…well…lovable. I vaguely remember Alice's horror-stricken face and her pleading with me to wait until she'd spoken with Edward. I didn't.
Because I was too busy crying, and thinking about the most painful truth of all: that was not just Edward cheating on me, it was Edward breaking up with me too. Because after I'd gotten to the house, he would have heard me. Smelled me. He could have hidden the girl and his unfaithfulness from me; he chose not to. He wanted me to see.
End Flashback
After that, he left. Probably with his new girlfriend. But what broke me over again was that the Cullens left with him. They would have to leave soon anyway, since the town was getting suspicious, and now I wasn't going with them. Alice promised she'd come back to see me very soon, but I probably won't be here. I don't expect to live that long.
See, I've been shutting off. Physically, emotionally – I guess is it an instinctual reaction, my subconscious trying to keep me from pain. But I want it; if my pain is the only thing left tying me to Edward, the only remnant of our past relationship, then why would I want to give it up? I refuse to forget, and I refuse to deny that he exists, what he meant to me. I'm seeking pain out now, trying to get a hold on it. Not physical pain really, because I never did deal with it well and it isn't necessary, but emotionally pain. Memories of all the happiness I had with Edward and his family, hopes of what I could have had. I would be lying, though, if I said I was trying to stay alive.
It's like I'm figuratively walking through the woods, waiting and hoping for Victoria to come for me. Okay, so I'm doing that literally too. But only when I'm not busy sleeping on the forest floor or hiding from the search parties that Charlie's sending out.