Chapter 2: Touch Me

"Touch me, / remind me who I am."

-Touch Me, Stanley Kunitz

The first thing she felt as she awoke was the headache and her first conscious thought was to think that it couldn't be a good sign—those days she woke with a headache never went well.

Oh, and that dream!

She frowned before opening her eyes.

It was so strange…

Still, she couldn't resist the urge to reach out next to her. She sighed when she felt nothing but sheets. She opened her eyes, wincing as the light from the window made her head throb. She blinked, trying to focus and with a quick, short scraping type sound, the bright light from the window dimmed.

'What the?' she thought. She pulled away the sheets and felt the cotton of her pjs on her body. She turned to look at the window and saw the thick brown curtains filtering out the light.

'Brown curtains?' she thought. That wasn't right…unless her mother changed them…but…

"How do you feel?"

She looked up to see that wonderfully handsome face looking down at her, large golden eyes wide with worry. For just a moment she was lost in that face, and in how much even he had changed. At first, he was the same Inuyasha, breathtakingly incredible face, etched chin that slid into a muscular neck and down to solid warm shoulders. She had to pull her eyes away from his bare chest, never mind that he was now clothed from the waist down. Never mind that she had bandaged his bare chest dozens of times…there was a casual grace, a…a familiar-ness to his demeanor as he sat before her despite the lack of clothing from the waist up that made even the top half a hormonal experience that left her cheeks flushing. He was an older Inuyasha, matured, and even more appealing to her, both physically and, she fought the blush at the open look in his eyes, emotionally.

"Aw, shit, it wasn't a dream."

He frowned. "How do you feel?" he repeated. "I won't call a doctor unless you want me to," he assured her, his hands gently brushing her hair from her face.

Kagome shook her head, moving slightly out of his reach. The look of fear hadn't completely left her eyes, but now there was confusion as well. "A doctor?" she asked. The very thought of explaining to a doctor what she did remember sent chills down her spine. "No," she shook her head again. "I'm not sick; I just don't remember you…not like this…" She ran a hand through her hair. "It's not supposed to be like this…" she narrowed her eyes as if to more fully inspect him. "Why are you being so nice?" Her eyes traced over his face. "And where are the beads?"

Inuyasha frowned at her questions, unable to understand what she meant. Why was he being so nice? Because he was worried about her, obviously, but there was something about the tone to the question that led him to believe there was more behind the question than the simple meaning of the words. And the beads? This was the second time she had looked to his neck like something should be there…could she be talking about the prayer necklace? He frowned. Why would she be asking about that thing? "Let me call Kaede," he decided. "She can help you figure out what's going on…"

"Kaede?" Kagome interrupted, unsure she had heard correctly. She looked around herself one more time at the thoroughly modern surroundings. "Here?" First, Miroku and Sango appeared to have been able to come through the well, now Kaede had too?

Inuyasha had that feeling again as if they were speaking two totally different languages, even if she had woken up speaking Japanese without once slipping into English the way they had become accustomed to doing. "I can call her and she'll be here in no time, I'm sure…"

Kagome tried to hold back the tears as she looked at him. "Call her?" Kagome echoed. "Since when can we call Kaede?" She blinked back tears as she looked at his worried face. "What's going on, Inuyasha?" she asked. "This isn't how it's supposed to be!"

He frowned. "Why don't you tell me how it's supposed to be?" He leaned forward in his chair next to the bed and steepled his hands under his chin. Kagome looked at his hands, so like the hands she knew, except…

She stared at the silver band etched with small symbols along it. 'He's married?' The shock rippled through her and she blinked several times, but the ring was still there, fourth finger, left hand…

"You're married?" Kagome asked, clearly shocked.

He tried to keep the worry and pain out of his eyes. Carefully, he reached out for her hand. Luckily, she was so much in shock that she didn't resist the contact. He held her hand gently, as if afraid to break it, and brought it up to his chin, to her eye level. Kagome couldn't miss the identical ring on her own finger, alongside a simply gorgeous, platinum diamond solitaire ring. She stared at it in something akin to awe for a few moments, the meaning of it beginning to filter through her shock.

"We're married," he whispered. "We just celebrated our four month anniversary last week."

"We?" Kagome asked, sitting up in bed, half grateful to find she was wearing pajamas. "You do know who I am, don't you? You know I'm not Kikyo right?"

Inuyasha frowned, the worry creasing his brow. "Of course I know who you are," he insisted. He shook his head. "Who is this Kikyo person and why would I confuse you with her?" He asked.

The ringing of the phone cut off any reply she could have offered, even if she would have known what to reply.

Inuyasha looked at the phone beside him and cursed under his breath. "Damn," he told her. "It's Ayumi," he looked at the clock and cursed again under his breath. "The Hyakki conference call."

Kagome's eyes widened. "Ayumi?" she questioned, then… "Conference call?"

Inuyasha looked at her worriedly, but picked up the phone. "Hey, Ayumi," he greeted, his tone friendly, and only barely covering up the worry. "No, actually, I don't think she's going to make it in today, she has a migraine." He looked at Kagome who was looking at him as if the only reason she wasn't freaking out was because she thought she was in a dream and would be waking up any moment.

Kagome, for her part, almost smiled as Inuyasha told, apparently Ayumi (Ayumi?) that she had a migraine and wouldn't be going into work (wait…work?). Well, it was certainly better than the excuses her jii-san had come up with, and there was a slight throbbing behind her eyes that hadn't gone away, and it could very well be a migraine (How would Inuyasha know she had a migraine?) She narrowed her eyes at him. 'If he was, indeed, Inuyasha.' She still wasn't completely convinced this wasn't a dream of some sort, or a hallucination, but would she get a migraine in a hallucination? She lifted a hand to her temple and tried to massage the throbbing away. She did not have a migraine, anyway. It had to be a headache brought on only because of stress…she always got those when she was stressed. Stress? She thought. Does one get stress headaches in dreams?

Inuyasha in the meanwhile noticed the strange play of emotions and thoughts that flowed over his wife's face, particularly the look of scrutiny that she fixed on him. Ayumi's voice drifted off into a low drone as she rattled on about a few bits of news that were relatively unimportant. Kagome kept fixing her gaze on his hand then her own, the astonishment mixing so strongly with her own sense of insecurity that he could smell it float off her skin like smoke. He didn't like it. He realized it wasn't her fault, but of all the things to forget, the fact that they had married, the things they had shared since donning those rings. He became so absorbed in his thoughts that he didn't realize Ayumi had asked him a question until she shouted loudly over the phone, causing his ears to ring painfully. For such a small, slender, and relatively quiet woman, she could probably shatter glass if she put her mind to it. "What was that?" he asked, listening. "Yeah, the file's in Kagome's office…" he ran a hand through his hair as he listened to the other end or thought, Kagome couldn't be sure, but if she squinted just right, she could almost swear he looked just like he did when he considered one of their plans against Naraku…the glint in his eye, the set of his jaw…was her Inuyasha in there somewhere? (Her Inuyasha?) She shook her head. What the hell was he talking about anyway?

"Right," he spoke into the phone, having come to some kind of conclusion. "I'll need you to call Mrs. Shidou and reschedule for later in the afternoon…" Inuyasha listened as apparently Ayumi spoke into her end. He looked frustrated now, Kagome noticed. He shook his head. "It can't be tomorrow," he emphasized. "It has to be today…" he sighed, listening. "I realize that, and tell Mrs. Shidou that we're very sorry but things come up that we can't plan or account for sometimes and that if she wants to help Mrs. Hyakki, she'll have to try and work with us." Inuyasha nodded. "Yeah, I'll call Miroku, I think I can catch him, if not tell him to call me at home when he gets in."

Kagome blinked and felt as if she were watching a film by her favorite actor, the actions and movements, dialogue being spoken by a familiar face, but so totally different than the last thing she had seen it was like he was a different person. Kagome held back a gasp as Inuyasha looked at her when Ayumi apparently spoke of her. She had an irrational desire to call out her greeting to Ayumi but didn't think it would bode well with Inuyasha's version of her headache. So, she rose a brow instead, and even that seemed to trigger a particularly insistent throb, so she lowered it almost immediately.

"Uh-huh," Inuyasha spoke into the phone. "I'll have her call you as soon as she's feeling better," he assured her. His eyes still on Kagome, he pressed at a mysterious little button on the handset and then dialed a number quickly and from memory, half his attention still on her as he lifted the receiver to his lips.

He was watching her as if he expected her to do something and Kagome resisted the urge to squirm in her seat. Now, that look she recognized. What's he doing? Kagome asked herself, then remembered. Ah, yes, calling Miroku, of course…She almost smiled as she realized it really did feel as if she were watching a movie or a play, except those golden eyes were still fixed on her. She was about ready to say something…anything…when he cursed again under his breath and hung up. Kagome was about to ask him what had happened when he put the handset back on the receiver and turned to her.

"Voicemail," he told her. "I'll have to wait until he gets to the office," he walked over to her and although the feeling of watching a movie still somewhat remained, it was more like an interactive play now, as he moved onto the bed and crawled on all fours across the mattress towards her. The scene itself brought a bright blush to her cheeks, but she forced herself to control her overactive imagination. A strange fluttering feeling spread along her stomach, and something she had never felt before rose up within her. The room seemed to get warmer as he paused only a short distance from her face, his eyes intensely dark and studying. He seemed to be looking at her and through her, studying her as if he could figure out what had happened and how he could fix it.

Kagome could almost feel his heartbeat fanning against her skin and she quickly pushed backwards, feeling the headboard press cold against her back. He stayed where he was, watching her, and a pull rose up in her chest. Something inside her itched to wrap her arms around his neck, to pull him close and hold him to her. As if that simple action could make all the confusion and fear fade away.

Mostly her body was instinctually screaming to touch him, any part of him, even for a second. It was a craving that rippled across her skin, a wild animal that grabbed a hold of her senses and almost forced her to move across that bed. He didn't move, perhaps he was waiting to see what she would do.

'What is going on?' she thought desperately as she grabbed the pillow beneath her, squeezing it tightly into her fist. After a moment the need finally faded away, leaving her shaken and flushed.

Inuyasha watched the flush spread across her face and down her neck. Her scent grew musky, even thick, and he could feel the desire in her. But she fought against it, holding back against what her natural instincts were demanding of her. This was bad, very bad. Even as children she was always hugging him affectionately, taking his hand in hers, even curling up with him as they slept, without any difficulties. What was going on?

She pushed back the feelings, waiting until like the craving left her…until she felt that if she let go of the pillow, her hands wouldn't reach out to him of their own accord. It had never been like this before, this need to touch him, as if her very life depended on the contact. Had she ever felt like she could just touch him like that? She wondered. She could remember various times when she had wished she could touch him, but never as if there would be no consequences, no possibility of rejection, and never in such a primal way, never as if she were depriving her body of air if she didn't. The look on his face almost made it worse; it was if he wanted her to touch him…

She felt her face relax and the outside of her lips quirk into something of a smile. Now she knew it had to be a dream, she thought. There's no way her Inuyasha would want her to touch him like that…the thought brought her dangerously close to her previous state so she shook it off and the smile left her lips just as easily as it came. There was that word again, she thought. Her Inuyasha? Since when had Inuyasha belonged to her? She lifted both hands up to her temple, partly to give them something else to do other than reaching out to him and partly because the headache was beginning to throb again.

"Kagome," Inuyasha's voice speaking her name brought her attention from her inner monologue to look into his eyes once again. "I don't want to call Kaede unless you give the okay, but I really think it's the best thing for you right now…" he ran a hand through his hair and Kagome could see he was really trying to keep a hold of his emotions. "I just don't know what to do for you…" he confessed, exhaling.

'You don't know?' Kagome thought. 'At least you seem to know where you are.'

"It's never been like this before and…it's scaring me, Kagome."

Kagome's eyes darted to meet his and she could almost feel the worry and the pain reverberating from him and her heart ached because she knew she was causing it, but she didn't know what to do about it. "I'm sorry," she said, the words the best she could think of. "But as far as I remember, I went to sleep in my room at home and woke up here."

Inuyasha neared her again. "You do recognize me, though, don't you? It's not a total amnesia."

Kagome shook her head. "It's not amnesia at all!" she exclaimed. "I just…" she shook her head. "I just don't seem to remember the same things you do…" she trailed off, realizing how strange it sounded, even to her own ears. "I feel like Alice through the looking glass," she whispered.

Inuyasha took her hands in his. "Why don't you tell me what you remember?" She felt a tingle as his skin touched hers, even the slightest movement from his fingers sending currents of electricity along her skin. It was more than comforting, and so much more than caring, it was coming home. That realization shocked her more than his touch. No wonder she craved to be near him so much, she-rather this body knew that Inuyasha was more than someone she loved; he was someone she needed, and in that thought she also realized that he needed her just as badly.

'Was it always like that for him? I know that I love him, but did he always have the need to be near me?' She looked at him as if searching for the answer, but couldn't find it in the handsome plains of his face. She knew his face so well, that she could close her eyes and paint the picture behind her closed lids. She could, and had, summoned him in her dreams countless times.

'Am I dreaming?'

That was it, she realized. She must be in the middle of some dream, some fever induced dream, maybe. She was probably in a hospital at this very moment, or in Kaede's hut, worrying all her friends…did she eat something? Did she step on something? She didn't remember getting wounded in a battle.

Naraku! Maybe it was Naraku!

'Or Kikyo!'

She frowned. But why would Kikyo or Naraku make her dream of something like this? She looked at Inuyasha and searched his face…he looked exactly as she remembered him, except…well, except his hair. It was still as long as she remembered it, but it was picked up at his nape with a rubber band, keeping most of it away from his face rather than loose and semi-wild…and his expression…

He was looking at her the way he had looked at Kikyo that time that Naraku almost managed to kill her. Like he wanted to protect her and didn't know how and like he didn't care if she saw it.

Before she realized it, her hand was at his cheek and she saw the contrast of skin tones, the wedding band blatantly visible to her now that she knew where to look. She relished in the feel of his skin under her palm, the sudden freedom she felt knowing that the ring on her finger allowed her to touch him. Her hand traced the curve of his cheek and she felt it as his face turned into her palm. She felt the tingle start at her palm and travel through her body…she felt the press of his lips on the soft pad of her palm and shivered. As if of its own volition, her hand moved into the softness of his hair…it was just as soft and thick as she remembered; the same silky smooth waves that she had often pressed her cheek against as they ran through the wildernesses of the Sendoku Jidai. Shimmering silver was the only way to describe the color, and his eyes were a rich molten gold color, like pools of the ore. Her eyes followed her hand as it moved to the top of his head and found his ears. He was still a hanyou…she heard a soft sigh as she caressed his ears…

…everything was the same as she remembered it, but how could Inuyasha be just the same and yet so different than what she knew? How could she be given everything she ever wanted in a man, and then overnight he became divine? She felt his ears twitch slightly against her attentive fingers, and barely noticed his hand sliding along her waist and across her back until he whispered her name hoarsely. "Kagome…" and it almost sounded like a prayer he spoke as the arm pulled her close against his chest, crushing her to him. She couldn't move, and for a moment, she didn't want to, everything felt so completely right.

'Snap out of it,' yelled the logical side of her brain and she inhaled sharply, awakening from the sensual dream in which she found herself.

The sound of surprise escaping her lips reminded him that she wasn't herself and with a growl, he pulled away from her. He sat back and took a deep breath. "I'm sorry," he finally spoke quietly.

Kagome winced at the sound of pain in his voice. "No, I…" she stopped, unsure of what she could say to him. She sighed, standing. She couldn't face that look in his eyes anymore. She needed to take a walk or…something…get out of that room that still smelled of him. "I need to take a shower," Kagome announced, walking toward the door to the left of the door that Miroku and Sango had come in from which she supposed was the bathroom. She opened the door and came face to face with a walk in closet clothes neatly arranged on both sides and a mountain of shoes at the back. She turned back to look at Inuyasha, who was pointing at the door at the other end of the room. She closed the closet door and walked to the other door with as much dignity as she could muster.

Inuyasha watched her go and sighed as he heard the shower head turn on. She needed a shower? If she needed a shower, he might need a dip on the cold lake out back. All the cold water in the world wasn't going to cool his blood at that moment. 'I don't think she even realized what effect-' he began, before shaking his mind from that track. He had more important things to take care of, he reminded himself as he took a moment to compose himself before standing. He reached for the phone and dialed the number almost automatically.

"Law Office, good morning," said the chirping voice after the third ring.

"Good morning, Gin," Inuyasha greeted.

"Actually, sir, it's Jenny," the voice replied. "But, good morning."

Inuyasha tried to put a face to the name and shook his head. They got so many new girls answering the phone, since they were mostly volunteers and a lot of college students, that is was impossible to keep track of them. Kagome thought it was a good idea to give college students the chance, though and Miroku agreed since they didn't have to pay them as much. Plus, he was horrible with names…always had been. "Sorry," Inuyasha apologized. Then, remembering Kagome's constant reminders for him to be nicer to the girls, he tried again. "So, how has your first day gone so far?"

"Uh…" the girl faltered. "My first week's been fine, sir."

Inuyasha held himself back from slapping his forehead. "Right," he clipped. "Glad to hear it, any calls?" he said, deciding to forgo the nicecities for the moment.

"A few, but I think they were mostly for appointments, and Ayumi took care of them," she replied.

Inuyasha could hear the humor in her voice. Obviously, Miroku had been telling the girl about her predecessors. Well, at least she wasn't offended. He remembered that one girl that had nearly bit his head off when she had to remind him of her name for the 5th time that day. "Good," Inuyasha answered, watching the bathroom door. "Has Miroku come in, yet?"

"He just walked in five minutes ago, sir," the girl answered.

Inuyasha could practically hear the blush in the girl's voice and tried not to swear. That pervert would get them in serious trouble one day. The problem was, Inuyasha realized, he didn't have to do much more than smile at the girls and they tended to get all flustered. He half wondered what it was about him, but shook off the thought as he heard the change in the way the water fell in the shower, signaling that Kagome had gotten into the shower.

"Pass me to Miroku, will you?" He asked. "Oh, and I won't be in, today," he told Gi…uh…the girl. "Please tell everyone I'm in depositions all day and pass them to Ayumi."

"Sure thing," Jenny replied. "Hold on, I'll transfer you," she said before he heard a click and the hold music.