Xatu How did you meet Andrew, and did you know about him being your future spouse?
Gardevoir Well, it's a long story, but I'll be happy to share it with you.
X
Gengar Bring out the sleeping bags, this will take a while.
X
Snorlax (M) (Sleeping) Pie… Pie… Pie….
Swalot (F) WAKE UP JACKASS!!
Snorlax (Sleeping) Bitch… Bitch… Bitch…
X
Gardevoir Come on guys, you don't want to listen to my story?
(pause)
Magcargo (M) You're hot!
Gardevoir Uh… Thank you? Back to the story. It all started while I was a Kirlia. I woke up one day and found out that my parents were gone.
X
Alakazam We found out later that bother of her parents were captured by the same pokemon trainer… OJ Simpson.
Metagross They said that the only thing they were trained to do was learning the art of mind control. Coincidence? I THINK NOT!!
Alakazam You know, we are the two only pokemon who aren't stupid.
Metagross Our IQ is off the scales. We could have discovered a cure for cancer 5 years ago if we could go to college, but it clearly says, NO POKEMON ALLOWED. Bullshit.
X
Gardevoir I was forced to learn how to defend for myself. Unfortunately, I had to do that in a snow mountain.
X
Tropius (M) She was somewhere near Route 217. Kirlias appear in route 203 and 204. She must have taken a wrong turn at Albuquerque.
X
Gengar God, she is stupid. But who cares? Only care about the boobies.
Metagross (Uses Zen Headbutt) You need to shut up. (It's super effective!)
Gengar WHAT THE XXXX IS WRONG WITH YOU!?
X
Anakin (Pikachu) When I herd of the story, I was so… upset. I pity da foo. The only thing she had was a hooded robe that she got from a homo hobo. She would just walk around in the snow, looking like a Jawa from Star Wars. It's… it's just so sad… There's only one thing to make me happy now… (puts on blue goggles) I just love these things. I had them since I was a Pichu in Super Smash Bros Melee. I even used them in Brawl too. Too bad the real Pikachu was the one everyone was looking at. He gets sexy Samus. But Snake was sooooooo jealous… Why am I here again? Oh, Gardevoir… Uh… I felt sorry for her.
X
Andrew It wasn't just fate that brought us together. It was inexperience. My Abra was practicing teleportation.
X
Alakazam I was not good at teleporting, because I was 3 months old. It makes perfect sense that I wasn't good. That's why Andrew and I were stuck in a blizzard on some random mountain.
X
Andrew While Abra was sleeping in its warm, comfortable pokeball, I was freezing to death. I tried to use Slugma to warm me up, but he froze up!
X
Magcargo We Magcargos and Slugmas are made of lava, or is it magma? Lava? Magma… Hmmm…. Anyways, if the lava cools down, it hardens, and we turn into rocks.
Zangoose (M) I thought Slugmas were immune to freezing.
Magcargo True, but all Slugmas has a 50 chance of having the flame body ability (burns foe by touch). I had flame body ability, not magma armor (prevents freezing). Wait, it is magma!
Alakazam It doesn't matter! They're both the same! Magma is just underground lava, while lava is magma that's above ground.
Magcargo Ah…. I'm… I'm still confused though.
X
Gardevoir I saw a mound of snow, and I wasn't sure what it was. I almost walked away from it…
Andrew WHAT!?
Gardevoir Easy… I didn't know it was a human being.
Andrew I'm not mad at you, I'm upset because I could have died.
Gengar Yeah, being a ghost would suck.
Andrew Shut up, Gengar. Anyways, I wake up in a cave and see a girl in a hood next to a fire place. You know what, Anakin was right, you did look like a jawa.
Gardevoir (long pause) I did, didn't I?
(both laugh)
X
Anakin Told you.
Xatu Ok, it's time for intermission.
Anakin Really? Sweet! (grabs i-pod) 'You are the dancing queen, young and sweet, only seventeen…. Dancing queen, feel the beat from the tambourine, Oh yeah!!' (stops singing) I'm not gay!